| Name: kim | Date: Jun 1st, 2009 11:19 PM |
| This is the first time I have viewed this site, after looking for something that may fit the description of what my husband and I are going through with our niece and nephews. As of one year ago, we took custody of our 2 nephews and niece since since their parents showed no possible signs of any attempt at parenting these children. Their ages are 6, 4 and 3. We are experiencing many problems as you could possibly imagine. For starters, we have no children of our own after 16 years of marriage, so we are learning how to parent 3 children overnight. Of course, the reason we have these children is because their parents weren't responsible enough to do this, so we also are dealing with their emotional stresses of loosing their home and parents. But, our biggest obstacle now seems to be the middle child who seems to be experiencing these same symptoms of what i have been reading with you all. Our biggest fear is of course, like all of you I'm sure, is that we could be doing more harm than good. I have things in place and will be setting the appointment tomorrow for him to be evaluated by the Physichiatrist. I am comforted to know that we are not alone in the knowledge that we are not really loosing our minds, and that there may be help for us yet. After all, the whole reason we have custody is so that we can give these 3 beautiful children a chance at a happy healthy life. ↑ |
| Name: lisa | Date: Jul 21st, 2009 2:55 AM |
| My son is 5 and we have been dealing with his behavior since he was 2. He over reacts to disappointments, he hates time-outs, he fights sleep, picks on his brother all the time and will disrupt him when he plays (like a bully) he constantly needs attention and will be very disrespectful in trying to get it. He does not eat many fruits or veggies so I make sure he gets a multi vitamin. I recently tried giving him Dr. Sear's omega 3 fish oil and it seems to help. He is always worse when I have company over - sooooo FRUSTRATING!!!!! I just looked up this ODD thing - think this might be it. What causes this??? What happened to my sweet little baby??? Our relationship is slipping away. I'm taking him to the doctor's soon. ↑ |
| Name: Fishman | Date: Aug 13th, 2009 4:11 PM |
| Parents might need an [a href="http://www.thetotaltransformation.com"]at risk youth behavior modification techniques[/a] program to help them with their defiant child's behavior. ↑ |
| Name: Fishman | Date: Aug 13th, 2009 4:13 PM |
| Parents might need an [url=http://www.thetotaltransformation.com]at risk youth behavior modification techniques[/url] program to help them with their child's defiant behavior. ↑ |
| Name: Sandi | Date: Aug 19th, 2009 5:52 PM |
I have an 11 year old with ADHD and ODD. I have experienced every temper tantrum there ever was. My son is smart, manipulative and always can come up with an excuse but the bottom line is he tantrums because he does not get his way.
ODD children no matter how many times they have lost the battle truly believe in their minds that they are going to win. You can take away toys, video games, ground them forever but the tantrums will still happen at the word NO for something they want to do or something they don't want to do.
Specialists suggest letting the child feel like they have some sort of control in the situation. As hard as it is sometimes just walking up to your kid when they are behaving poorly and putting your hand on their shoulder or arm and saying "What can I do to make you feel better" will blow them away and deter the tantrum.
I wish I could say there are answers out there that work every time. A behavior plan is the other suggestion they give you. I have yet to find one that lasts for a long period of time.
Last but not least I am hearing that Domestic Violence is a key culprit to children with Anxiety, ODD and their behaviors. Even if your child only witnessed it a few times as a small child. Seems like everyone {Different Professionals} want to add some new diagnosis to the mix. Truly it all boils down to they have No answers for you. I have been doing this for 6 years now and it gets very tiring, embarrassing] My best advice for parents out there.....Find support for yourself. That is the hardest thing, finding someone else to listen, who knows what your going through or just lets you unload your frustrations with parenting a very difficult child. ↑ |
| Name: Sandi | Date: Aug 19th, 2009 6:30 PM |
This reply is to Connie's post about her nephew. I am sorry but I disagree that he was just an ODD child, that boy had alot of emotional issues to go with any diagnosis of ODD. Maybe it was because he was left to find his own way without the teaching of decent morals.
From my personal experience ODD children do not try to actually kill people, they may lash out and want to hurt someone because they are not getting there way but not to the extent of murder. They still feel love and remorse when the tantrum is over. They will hurt your family pet but not to the extent of sending it to the vets,,,,most love their family pets dearly.
Setting fires, breaking windows on purpose is more than ODD. ODD children know right from wrong, they just can't handle the anger they feel like others. They tend to kick, hit, scream, bite, kick walls, bang walls. It does not matter who witnesses the fit because there anger oversees the attention it is bringing thier way. If your child is tantruming like a 2 year old and they are too old to tantrum like a 2 year old then they are probably ODD. As they get older and learn cuss words you may have that thrown at you too. Keep them safe, keep your self safe...Pin them, arms and legs until they have calmed down. You will find them exhausted from their efforts of trying to win the battle but also subdued and sorry afterwards. ↑ |
| Name: Nour | Date: Sep 19th, 2009 7:09 AM |
| I can feel what you are talking about I have a son who is 5.5 yaers old and he was diagnosed with ODD, it is really very difficult to handel him it is hard on me and his father but I knew that the peek of this disorder is in 8 years and it will get down after that , thanks ↑ |
| Name: rondyve | Date: Sep 25th, 2009 5:49 PM |
| Name: Millie | Date: Sep 29th, 2009 1:34 PM |
| Dear Lisa, I have a 9 year old son who will turn 10 in October. My husband and I are at the very end of a rope with him and his behavior. We took him to see a therapist last night and maybe they along with a new doctor can help. I think he may have ODD also. It describes him to a T. He is in 4th grade and makes straight A's and also goes to enrichment once a week. He has a high IQ. He is pretty good at school or at least that's what we're told, but when he gets home, he is a totally different child. This past week just one night, it took us 3 hours to get him to take a bath and an extra 2 hours to get him to go to bed. When he doesn't get his way he screams at us and tells us we're mean to him and everything is someone else's fault. He says we make him say the things he does. He will stand and throw things in the floor and blame it on his sister saying she threw it when we are watching him do it. He tells us that he can make his own decisions and he is smarter than us. Just this morning he wanted to wear a spiderman mask to school for super hero day and refused to go to the bus stop. When my husband got him by the hand to escort him out he yelled he was going to call the police. He was diagnosed with ADHD and Bipolar when he was 5. He sleep walks and is also aggressive when you take something from him while he's sleep walking and he talks in his sleep. He has got to where all he does is lie, back talk, scream, push his sister down, hit her, and also pulls her hair. He flat out refuses to accept any responsibility for his actions what so ever. We have taken away everything he plays with, made good bad charts, put him in time out, his room and also spanked him. All that seems to do is make him more aggressive and louder. I hope we can get this under control and soon before it's too late if it's not already. Good luck to you. ↑ |
| Name: Pixie | Date: Oct 1st, 2009 6:08 PM |
| Hi my son has the same thing. In short nothing works! I have found this infuriating over the years. Now I just except that my son does not have the capacity to conform. It is like asking a deaf person to listen! ↑ |
| Name: sparx | Date: Oct 2nd, 2009 4:52 PM |
| Hey-your dealing with it all wrong. FIrst of all you want to give your child a syndrome becoz then it would excuse his behaviour and refer the blame and second your blaming yourself and being pessimistic about the situation. ODD-its tough. It's horrible and its lonely. IF your son does have it he will hate anything authoritarian and belittling. You have to be smart. Speak to him like you would an adult but about topics relating to children. eg. instead of telling him NO YOU CANT GO OUTSIDE NOW say something about how you want him to come inside because youve worked hard to cook the meal and want to eat with him and hear about his day. also, maybe explain the situation. the worst thing you can do is not explain things to someone with ODD and be calm about it. listen to the rant. show him you see his point and then give him your NON RELATED point. If your argument is in direct conflict with his youre asking for hell. He doesn't like it any more than you and he doesn't like being alienated as a problem child who causes bad in the world. He just wants to understand and be understood and ODD children are happier and least likely to have outbursts when they feel they're understood and part of a team effort decision. GOod luck x ↑ |
| Name: teresa | Date: Oct 3rd, 2009 1:03 PM |
| My 8 year old boy has always been very lively I took him to the doctors to see if we could find some help. After he kicks me in the doc’s office the doc said he was just a nutty little boy and if he was his he would get a smack on the bum. Later I saw his teacher she said he has add tenancies. But as you were saying he can be a nice friendly little boy one minute than a little monster the next with hitting me or his sisters he has treated us with knives 4 times. But no one seems to want to help ↑ |
| Name: nini | Date: Oct 8th, 2009 3:24 PM |
| My son is 5 going on 6 and is the oldest of 3 boys. His brothers are absolutely fine, but he has all of a sudden started acting out at school everyday. The teacher says that 1 minute he is fine, doing all his work and helping out, then the next minute when its time to go to phys. ed or anything else, he just falls out screaming and trying to run out of the building. at home he has his normal fits when he has to share or cant get his way but this behavior at school is becoming an everyday thing and i dont know what to do! HELP!!! ↑ |
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