Name: azmomof3 Title: 10 year old ADD kid lacking social skills

My 10 year old has major social skill problems. He has never gotten along with boys his age or just slightly older than him. He is envolved with a soccer team and is having major issues with conflict. He takes concerta for his ADD and ODD every morning. He wants to be included but doesn't understand when he gets shunned. It just breaks my heart to see him hurt. Help....I don't know what to do with this. He is on the verge of getting kicked off the team because of his impulsive behavior! any suggestions???? Please!  ?

Your Name

Your Reply

 

Name: teresa • Date: 10/10/2006 08:20:33

I know exactly how you feel, my daughter also has problems making friends because of her behavior. As much as this bothers me, I know there is nothing I can do about it. I continually explain to my daughter that when she acts like this that noone wants to be around her. She has started to control herself at school and her social skills are getting better, but let me tell you, after keeping it in check all day long, she then comes home and will usually lose it within 10 minutes of walking in the door. Yeah for me! I just keep drilling into her head that her actions have a reaction whether it's good or bad and it's her decision which way things are going to go. Just out of curiosity, what is you son doing that would get him kicked off the team? It could be just what he needs to make him realize that he has to try to control himself. Is his behavior bad enought to warrant punishment? I just keep talking and punishing and I'm hoping someday the light bulb will go on, however with ADHD children, it takes four times as long. Good luck.  =

Name: azmomof3 • Date: 10/10/2006 19:46:56

He will lose his temper when something doesn't go his way. Like last night he got really frustrated with his teammates and ran off in tears. His coach is only 19 years old so he doesn't understand why he is doing this. it is so hard to watch him want to succeed and it is his actions that are keeping him from this. His teammates just said here he goes again. He usually will come back and refuse to continue and then promptly quit the team. This team is a team he tried out for and made it. Technically they can kick him off but this is such a great release for him. His behavior isn't of the violant kind. His coach is afraid that the other boys will lose respect of his authority and start pulling stunts. My son does realize that he has to control himself but as you know that is easier said than done for an ADD kiddoe. I would be so crushed for him and for my family. I really enjoy watching him play. We are a soccer family. This is so hard to deal with. Thanks for luck. Sounds like you need it back!  =

Name: shackelfore • Date: 10/13/2006 23:35:39

my son will be 10 next month, he is on Ritalin for his ADHD and ODD. he was labeled a problem child in public school, his teacher put his desk so he was facing the corner. she would rather ignore him than deal with him. i have lost countless friends and acquaintances due to the way people react to his behavior. he has never been able to keep friends for long. my solution has been to home-school him, fortunately i was already a stay home mom. the girl next door is one year older and also home-schooled. she comes over to do school with us a lot. she is also a tomboy, so they share the same interests. and i never have problems with fist fights, because she isn't aggressive by nature like most boys. regarding my lost friends and such, i have no patience with anyone who has no patience for my son. i also try to discourage him from hanging out with the "bad seeds". above all else i constantly reassure him that his family loves him just the way he is and that he should never be afraid to be him self. we take things one day at a time and are responsible for the things we do. please hang in there, i hope some of this is helpful.  =

Name: baby_CrowdGirl • Date: 12/27/2006 18:43:06

i fell ya pain i get treated the same way my friends trat me the sam.I also had some school bullies too so i had such a bad behavior and im getting bad grades because people disturb me asyaing mean thinks and i get f"s and c's and im only 10 uears old. So i need help. my parents tried to help but they couldn't .also i just got a cell phone for christmas and if i do bad we disscused it but any way if i had any bad behavior they would take away my phone and can't get it back until i act right so i suggest for your son that if he have any electronics or anything that he love the best exsplanation is to take it away until he act right and also for the bullies you should talk with them and ask them how do they really fell based on bulliing your son.


any questions e-mail me at
ashli30213@Yahoo.com  =

Name: mar22 • Date: 12/28/2006 06:31:16

my son was same way and they added the respiridal to slow his implusiveness down and the concerta for increasing his attention this helped him to actually listen to what people where telling him. its a hard road for our guys because they dont understand why these situations happen i almost wish i could carry a video camera sometimes to show him how he ascts sometimes but i have a busy toddler right now. maybe that could be something you do. Also has e attended any social skills groups? good luck  =

Name: Yawmom • Date: 12/31/2006 19:09:54

You need to educate yourself on ADD. Read all you can, go to parent support groups. They are an eye opener. It's sad, it's a fact of life. These kids are social misfits to a point. It's sad, they have little if any friends. The other kids parents don't want their kids haging out with a kids that's hyper and in trouble constantly.
These kids are singled out, and the future is sad also. They tend to be drawn to others that accept them the way they are, and those kids are usually ones that get in trouble themselves.
It's a sad situation.
Explain to the coach of his condition, and the things that are involved. Explain how important it is for him to be on a team, and that it doesn't matter what postition he's in as long as he participates it does him good. That a team is just that--team. At that age they all should play.
In the future he may want to find a disaplined sport or one that he can do on his own rather than with others. Wrestling? Chess? Swimming? etc. Something that works off his energy.  =

Name: azmomof3 • Date: 01/07/2007 00:32:53

I feel so bad for him. he tries so hard to fit in with kids his age and pretty much fail every time. he tries and I think he tries too hard. to update about the soccer thing, he has just had another issue with the coach of his team because he didn't take his meds before a game and then had a melt down. Well my son told his coach to shut up. So I had him write a letter to his coach apologizing about his mouth that got away from him. His coach could not have dealt with it better and told my son that he appreciates the letter and will carry it with him always. And he has. My son asked him about it after the holidays and he pulled it out of his pocket and showed him that he still had it. It is a constant reminder to my son that his coach knows and understands him. That was a huge thing for my son. But I honeslty know that it will only take him maturing to make this any better but in the mean time it is really hard to see him hurt as he does.  =

Name: grtmom • Date: 01/29/2007 10:43:45

Have you read any websites on Aspergers/ my DS is 12 y/o and was dx with OCD, ADHD for years and recently added on aspergers. We have him going to ST for soical pragmatics - these kids really don't understand how to act socially - they have to learn it, like riding a bike. I feel your pain. It's very difficult, especially when everyone else just thinks the worse of your kid.  =

Name: momoffour • Date: 01/29/2007 14:15:08

I am curious is he an only child?  =

Name: q • Date: 09/21/2007 19:31:51

q  =

Name: J • Date: 09/21/2007 20:35:47

if he is still having such major problems while on the concerta maybe he needs either a different dose or a different medication? do you see any change in his behavior at all? also, if you haven't already, you could talk privately w/ his coach and explain his situation. Maybe the coach would be a bit more understanding/patient if he knew the deal.  =

Name: taybry • Date: 09/24/2007 11:13:54

I have a daughter with ADD and social issues, she is not aggressive with anyone though except her brother. I had her on Concerta for about a year . I hated it because she had meltdowns when she was coming off of it at the end of the day. Since then I have changed her to Daytrana. I don't see any letdown at all and her appetite is not as affected as it was with concerta. If you would like to talk more, I'm also in Az.  =

Name: laurenkelly1000 • Date: 03/11/2008 16:43:13

i need someone to talk to
will it be you or will you be my slave
evanthough i don't like treating people like slaves because it is far to creil a.k.a mean lol laurenkelly1000  =

Name: Taylor Aspinwall • Date: 03/13/2008 12:45:32

tell your child that i am in the same predicament as he is. i am 13 years old and live in dallas. im the star running-back on football team, im ranked nationaly in calegent wrestling, but still we are somewhat shuned by society. i have reciently become verry depresed; to the point where i swithched schools. i now go to a school for the learningdiabled  =

Name: kate • Date: 03/15/2008 01:38:42

iam sexy  =

Name: lil mama • Date: 03/15/2008 09:15:15

hi  =

Name: alex • Date: 03/16/2008 18:50:51

hi  =

Name: Kath • Date: 03/16/2008 21:08:40

hi
I have had a simular problem with my son, he is now 14, he enjoys sport, he is tall and lanky so he has a little coordination problem sometimes. He has low self esteem. and seems to be always getting in trouble with the teachers for talking back,
he is struggling with school work, loves prac work, phs ed and playing hockey.however he dosnt see the way he reponds as being bad, only the other person. he dosn't seem to realise that you don't say somethings when people are around or it could get him in even worse trouble. Most of the time he behaves reasonable well, until he is asked to do something that he dosn't want to do. I have always thought there was an element in him that can't distingish between right and wrong.  =

Name: JESSICA • Date: 03/18/2008 18:33:20

HEY  =

Name: holly • Date: 03/23/2008 15:57:43

hi dude  =

Name: holly • Date: 03/23/2008 15:59:02

how old are you every one  =

Name: staropop • Date: 03/23/2008 15:59:38

i have a problem  =

Name: holly • Date: 03/23/2008 16:04:06

is any one there
i love my little brother and he only died last saturday we had the funarul his name was ruben i have another brother called james my dad died when i was young im only 10 what can i do the only person i can talk to is my mum my cat and rbbit please tell me what can i do  =

Name: scott4 • Date: 03/23/2008 16:06:12

hidude have you got a boyfriend holly  =

Name: holly • Date: 03/24/2008 06:56:25

this is a discrase nobody is online  =

Name: chelsea • Date: 03/27/2008 07:24:21

hello my name is chelsea i live in the u.k nice to meet you send back a message.  =

Name: chelsea • Date: 03/27/2008 07:25:56

hello my name is chelsea tell your child she can come online all the time.  =

Name: babjess98_98 yahooh.co.uk • Date: 03/27/2008 14:38:47

im 10 would u have a space for  =

Name: cutiedominican 610 • Date: 03/29/2008 21:02:04

yo  =

Name: mlb2kid • Date: 03/30/2008 09:32:35

Have you talked with his pediatrician. There are people out there trained and very skilled to help children cope with lack of social skills and to teach them new coping skills to help them work through it. That would be the best option. You can't do it alone and need more than meds to do this.  =

Name: Eliza • Date: 03/30/2008 09:49:17

How do u find 10 year olds chat room's today without haveing to download it on to your computer??????:{  =

Name: shayoseasa • Date: 03/30/2008 10:47:23

hi i am very sad  =

Name: shaya • Date: 03/30/2008 10:49:03

hi cana 10 year boy chat with me  =

Name: sufiyan • Date: 03/31/2008 10:28:22

hello  =

Name: Abby • Date: 04/05/2008 16:52:12

Hi  =

Name: ashley • Date: 04/06/2008 11:51:23

hi ya i am a new 1 so be nice please  =

Name: ashley • Date: 04/06/2008 11:53:50

hi ya peepes  =

Name: chelsey • Date: 04/06/2008 15:11:33

hey Im new  =

Name: cherrypop122 • Date: 04/09/2008 06:36:37

hi hi  =

Name: sara • Date: 04/11/2008 19:18:25

hey  =

Name: shelby • Date: 04/12/2008 11:39:12

hi will u be my friend  =

Name: gile998 • Date: 04/14/2008 14:52:11

Gile ja sam tvoje pile  =

Name: lottie • Date: 04/15/2008 12:44:52

hi evryone  =

Name: cheyenne • Date: 04/15/2008 17:21:11

hi  =

Name: cheyenne • Date: 04/15/2008 17:22:09

yo whats up/  =

Name: emoni • Date: 04/19/2008 20:01:19

well girls u need a boy relly badly  =

Name: michael • Date: 04/25/2008 04:34:52

what are you guys doin  =

Name: michael • Date: 04/25/2008 04:36:54

you dont need a girl  =

Name: michael • Date: 04/25/2008 04:40:26

hey how you doin  =

Name: SARAH • Date: 04/25/2008 04:43:02

HHHHHHH  =

Name: michael • Date: 04/25/2008 04:46:20

im so sorry for you loss and i hope you have fun with your cat and rabbit
=0(  =

Name: con • Date: 04/25/2008 13:08:48

hiya  =

Name: FLORa • Date: 04/25/2008 15:25:27

hi  =

Name: jhu • Date: 04/28/2008 20:12:48

jhii  =

Name: dede • Date: 05/02/2008 15:55:34

hy  =

Name: zalla • Date: 05/03/2008 17:27:09

i am 11yaer old and female i like to make friend with other country and i and a ghanaian  =

Name: HEATHER • Date: 05/03/2008 22:48:49

HI  =

Name: HEATHER • Date: 05/03/2008 22:52:12

HI AGAIN  =

Name: lilmama • Date: 05/04/2008 20:21:34

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhey wanna be my friend  =

Name: YO GIRL • Date: 05/07/2008 18:46:46

HI EVERYBODY  =

Name: stephen • Date: 05/09/2008 11:34:31

hi  =

Name: Naom • Date: 05/09/2008 17:15:17

I would love a chat room for 10 year olds.  =