So because some people (me2) think they need to be vocal and judge me let me say now ... my own agency that was working for me in the planned adoption of my son advised me not to place and helped me put the things in place to parent along with the help of my therapist and my childrens therapist and my perinatology team. I really dont think I needed to put this up front but the social worker from the agency still calls me 2 times a week and I see her every couple of weeks.
Her name is Tami and she works for Adoption Links Worldwide in Omaha Nebraska, the adoptive parents agency IAC got Adoption Links involved to represent me in the adoption. For reasons being that are personal the adoption was not the ideal situation for my family.
That is my choice and I was paying my own bills. So in that please know what youa re talking about before you try and get involved in something that you have no idea about,
Shauna ↓
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| Name: me2 | Date: Nov 11th, 2006 8:31 PM |
Why would I want to know that stuff. Not sure why you are choosing to post this.
My question was why are you on this forum? What do you have to offer? You should be over on the parent boards not here. You are all done with adoption, because you decided not to place. ↑ |
| Name: wantababygirl | Date: Nov 12th, 2006 10:13 AM |
Shauna, I'm new here. Why would your agency tell you not to place your son? I thought their job was to place children. I don't really understand about agencies. I'm sure you can tell that.lol
I don't want to appear ignorant but I'd like to understand as I've a million questions for people who have been thru this. ↑ |
| Name: Mom2BEE | Date: Nov 13th, 2006 5:23 PM |
The reason that they wanted an agency invovled was that I am sure that the agency just like many others that are on this board. Saw that from the beginning Shauna had NO plan to place. So the Red flags went up and they got her an Agency so she could be counseled. On her choices. She has many children and already according the Shauna has placed a child before so she does know what to expcect.
She just wanted the attention that she got from all those wishing to adopt. She told some pretty wild stories.
And claimed that her Adoption plan was that she just could not care for her special needs daughter and a new baby
. Surprise Surprise Surprise she found a way
. And got Lots and Lots of attention plus she had state paid medical so she is Not paying her own bills now is she?? And do not forget how her Church helped out also. And that agency found her all kinds of state or private funded assistance. I would be sure of that. ↑ |
| Name: imadeacouplehappy | Date: Nov 13th, 2006 6:39 PM |
| are you mad she keep her baby.wow i know you guy's hurt .to me you sound so mean you will be bless just wait and see ↑ |
| Name: Dudette | Date: Nov 13th, 2006 8:25 PM |
| I would not say they are mad she didn't place the baby. I think it has to do more with she was working the system and knew how to do it. Everyone knows it's her right to change her mind. But it is whether she started the search for an adoptive family for the right reason or whether it was to work the system. Whether finanancially or emotionally. ↑ |
| Name: sdt1977 | Date: Nov 13th, 2006 9:15 PM |
Well since people think there is a great importance to know why the agency swayed me from placing i will tell you. The adoptive couple actually has had 3 other failed matched for reasons that arent my right to discuss. My worker within the agency felt it was a unhealthy situation and after many session with me she said I was placing for the wrong reasons and if I did chose to still place they would help me. They also stated the PAP's were needy and pushy and over bearing to all involved. Thier own worker from IAC shared the same opinion of the coupled with my worker from Adoption Links. They are great people yes I am not saying anything bad but my worker felt the open adoption agreement and such wouldnt work as we all wanted it to. The exact same things were part of the reason thier other matches had failed. I was placing because of my daughters health the counselor through Adoption Links helped me learn it is ok as a parent to struggle and that I dont have to be perfect and that my children would understand a new baby needed alot of care.
As well after speaking with my childrens therapist they felt me placing London would cause nadia to go back to when her father left. As well Nadia expressed fears that I would send her and Dakota to a new family and I could not cause that harm to my daughters heart especially in her life she has already lost everything when her father burned our family home down.
Now for the people whom think they know me, I dont get all this assistance you seem to think I get, my kids dads dont pay support, I dont get welfare, I dont get rental assistance. I am on share of cost insurance my children get medicaid I dont and actually what they have is hawkeye a low cost plan that is the same as medicaid and i pay a nominal monthly fee for.
I know of the resources from when I did place my daughter almost 6 years ago and my husband had left me high and dry and cleared out our bank account to run off with someone else.
So when you are going to sit here and pretend you know me and who I am wake up and smell the roses because you know nothing. You talk of financial help well didnt get it, you talk about emotional, please I turned to my therapist when I needed someone to talk to that is what she is paid $150.00 an hour to do.
Do you want her name and number? I am sure she can refer you to a good counselor in your area to help with your know it all issues that you have without any type of degree in mental health.
I have sat back and not posted but you are unreal now.
Shauna ↑ |
| Name: sdt1977 | Date: Nov 13th, 2006 9:17 PM |
Oh yeah and by the way my son is super sick, has spent 4 of his 6 weeks of life in the hospital and with be having a upper and lower gi and liver biopsy on wednesday. How would you like to be the adoptive couple that adopted to be told when your baby was 6 weeks old that he may not make it?
God works in mysterious ways doesnt he, perhaps what happened happened to save a family the pain of loss after they fougt so hard to gain, ↑ |
| Name: wantababygirl | Date: Nov 14th, 2006 7:13 AM |
| Shauna, is your son dying? I didn't mean anything on the agency question. I was just curious how an agency works. I'm sorry to hear about your son. ↑ |
| Name: sdt1977 | Date: Nov 14th, 2006 9:25 AM |
London is now almost 7 weeks old and is a bit over 5 lbs was 6'6 at birth, he goes back into the hospital for upper and lower gi's and a liver biopsy. He cant gain he cant digest anything including the now $50.00 a can prescription formula he is on. He throws up constantly he has blood in his stool and urine. He is failure to thrive and is literally starving to death and they dont know why. We will meet with metabolic specialists tommorrow as well as they put together a team to let him live.
Shauna ↑ |
| Name: Pattyjb | Date: Nov 14th, 2006 10:01 AM |
| Sounds like child is not absorbing... hope the doctors can figure out how to fix the problem. Frankly, I am glad to know agencies really will tell you when you are placing for the wrong reasons. THAT is earning their money. ↑ |
| Name: helping out | Date: Nov 14th, 2006 10:14 AM |
Shauna,
I understand that you think people here are hard on you but, if your child is that sick you need to get him to the hospital and refuse to let the drs send him home no matter what.
Also you should not have taken him home from the hospital as early as you did. And maybe his being ill can be looked at another way. Maybe he should have been with another family and not with yours. Maybe his adoptive family would have made sure he was healthy and safe before bringing him home to get sicker. You have so much time you should be spending with your daughters with them both having the same illness that you should have really considered the baby more. And what is that life going to be like not being able to play in the sun because you need to be inside with your girls out of the sun. You will need a babysitter for the girls to go out with him or a sitter for him to take him outside as you stay with the girls inside. Now you want to become a surrogate. How will your girls feel as you give that child to his or her parents? They will be older and not understand even more then. Are you thinking about that? It is not too late to find a family that can really raise and love your son as he may need to be raised. You will need to be there for your girls and he will feel left out.
You don't have a job and you take care of your grandfather. Is that who pays you? Do you take his money for caring for him?
We know you cant leave your girls with him because his mind is going. So where do you get your money if not government or help from church and other areas?
Think about wha is right. Adoption nad really think about surrogacy. What will your girls think then? You gave a baby to his or her parents. Will she be giving us up too. Your words. And of course you are asking for money. But, you don't have a job so where are you getting that 1000 a month from now you said you wanted from the surrogates if you get preg.?
Think about what you are doing and saying. ↑ |
| Name: tamara anderson | Date: Nov 14th, 2006 11:12 AM |
I hope he gets better soon. Sorry to hear he is so sick. But maybe you should make those doctors keep him in the hospital and not send him home until they do know what is going on. That sound like a good idea. At least they can monitor him 24/7 that he will be there in case something happens.
I know you said, they told you to keep him. But, Shauna how are you going to give up a surrogate baby when the girls are older?
Helping out asked some good questions. Nadia will be older then and it will be even harder for her. That is something to consider.
Tamara ↑ |
| Name: M | Date: Nov 14th, 2006 11:12 AM |
Dear Helping Out,
Why would you tell another mother how to raise her child? ↑ |
| Name: sdt1977 | Date: Nov 14th, 2006 12:40 PM |
Helping out you re sick to say he is sick because I didnt place him, you have no idea what you are talking about. He didnt get sick until he was over a week old dear they would never of kept him that long after delivery. I am LDS it is in my faith that we help others, I on many occasions have helped other families it is what we do, life is about serving others. So now no the Department of Veterans Affairs pays me to care for my grandfather and I have enough to live without being a surrogate if I dont go back work.
Do you want my financial records dear so you can prove yourself oh so wrong? My kids have a babysitter that is now staying in the upstairs apartment attached to my home, she gets free room and board and in turn she watches my children and has passed a background check and has met with my 3 year olds doctors about her care.
Here are my bills figure it out .. my home with attached apartment $550.00 a month gas, electric $150.00 a month internet and phone service $70.00 a month, water and trash $43.00 a month, car and insurance $224.00 a month.
So now that you know it all or think you do rest well knowing that I do it on my own and I can continue to.
You people are foul (not all of you) and it is really sad to know that some of you will one day possibly raise children with the way you think. HOW DARE anyone ever tell a mother her child is sick because an adoptive family would of been better for him.
Shauna ↑ |
| Name: Carolyn | Date: Nov 14th, 2006 12:57 PM |
Shauna,
I am so heartsick hearing that London is not yet improving; all of my prayers go out to you and London and your little girls. God bless.
Ladies, please refrain from writing ANY negative opinions when Shauna is going through so much pain right now. How would you feel if you were going through this with a very sick child ? ↑ |
| Name: helping out | Date: Nov 14th, 2006 12:58 PM |
M,
I don't know that I was telling her how to raise her son. But how it may look to other people. The baby was born early and he left the hospital early. Shauna let us all know about his illnesses. So the bad thing about this page is we aire all our details here and sometimes they come back to bite us. I hope the doctors that did not think about her little son as they sent him home knowing he was born early will look for all the things he might have wrong now and help him to get better.
M,
I know that you know people here do help in thier own way. I know Shauna may have only been trying to keep her family together but maybe her girls needed her just as much or more and if she would have followed her first decision her son may have gotten more treatment before first leaving the hospital.
I know I may be sounding harsh but she is saying one of her reasons for not placing was the parents from the agency were pushy. The agency should have not matched them with her if they had 2 bad other situations with them. And the other was she wanted to save her daughter from heart break. Won't her daughter be heartbroken if she gets PG by surrogacy and then gives the baby to his or her parents? Her reason for adoption was she has two girls that are very sick and they needed her full attention. They are not getting it with her being gone and in the hospital all the time. Maybe adoption was where she was suppose to be and some how was turned in the wrong direction by someone or by people giving her a hard time. That is what I meant by she could still make the right choice adoption. ↑ |
| Name: M | Date: Nov 14th, 2006 1:24 PM |
| Only Shauna knows what the right choice is for her and her family. It is not for anyone else to say. I think a birthmom has the right to change her mind up to the moment adoption papers are signed without harsh judgement. I am sure it is probably one of the hardest things a parent can do. Lots of families have children with special needs which demand a lot of time. Does that mean that all children they have in the future should be put up for adoption? It is wrong of you to say that her baby would have been better off if she had gone through with adoption. I had a friend who was adopted. She always felt like she was missing out on knowing here real family. She always felt her birthparents didn't love her enough. She went through a lot of self doubts growing up. She is very much against adoption now that she is an adult. ↑ |
| Name: sdt1977 | Date: Nov 14th, 2006 1:44 PM |
Helping out,
You are not helping any by saying now you think i should still place my son. Second my daughter dakota is perfectly healthy, my 3 year old nadia is the one who is photosensitive with other disorders.
Do know I wont be taking your advice and placing him, children are where God himself intends them to be.
There is obviously a reason he is having issues perhaps to make me a different person who knows. He goes back to childrens tommorrow to be admitted at 9 am where we meet with a medical team they are putting together for him consisting of metabolic specialists, GI teams, immunologists and a special diseases team. Do know all my children are very well cared for and not neglected in any way.
People from this board proved that when they called social services on me months back and social services walked away from my house laughing at the caller.
Shauna ↑ |
| Name: kaitlynn1835 | Date: Nov 14th, 2006 4:50 PM |
| I was just wondering what kind of treatments your doctors have suggested for London's failure to thrive? Have they suggested kangaroo care? Sometimes babies that fail to thrive do better if snuggled skin-to-skin with a blanket around both for warmth. Sometimes there is a psychological reason for failure to thrive, but many doctors only look for the physical reasons. E-mail me if you want to know more. I'm on msn and yahoo under this screenname. ↑ |
| Name: babyhopes | Date: Nov 14th, 2006 7:56 PM |
I was involved with Shauna back in June and saw the posts about her and know she talked to several people along with us. I actually emailed one of the couples she was also speaking to. That couple had no idea she was talking with other people. I see that couple on here sometimes. I will tell you that she is not the angel she makes herself out to be. She said, she had no job took care of her grandfather and got help when she could or needed it. People called social services on her all the time. She was talking to us, a lesbian couple and another couple. And telling us she was not talking to anyone else.
I am so sorry that her son is sick. And I pray they find what is causing him to be sick tomorrow. But Shauna in one of your early posts you told everyone you wanted him home. You needed to be home with your girls. And I can tell you that you told us that both of your girls were sick. Nadia was the worst and could not spend anytime in the sun. And your youngest daughter was also sensitive to the sun just not as bad.
We hope you made the right choice Shauna but it was your choice to bring him home early. No doctor in his right mind releases a premie in 2 days. I have read about another mom here that said she had a premie and he stayed there for about a week or more.
I hope that we all get our children but, a scammer is a scammer and they know exactly how to play people. When she decided to post she was talking to an attorney and agency that was great I thought she was getting the help she needed to place her son. She told us over and over she could not raise her son she needed to take care of her two girls. What happened to taking care of them. And now I read your are wanting to be a surrogate. Great if that was really something you could do. Can you place at the end of that nine months? You could not place your son that you said, you could not raise no matter what. I am not trying to hurt you. Just open peoples eyes that believe you changed your mind at the end. Things were proven on several sites that she was not telling the truth and she was talking to many many couples. And if the agency decided the parents were not right for you they could have let you match with other parents. You said you didn't match because of your daughter. Helping out asked you how can you place in a year if you could not now. How can you place? What will she think then? Think please of what you are doing to all your kids. I see people downing others for trying to open peoples eyes about shauna. I hope your son gets well and I hope you do not pursue surrogacy. That could hurt your children even more. You say you come here to help people you should be helping yourself and your kids. Maybe the computer is not your best way to spend your spare time. Two toddler girls and a newborn. I know most would be spending their time with their kids. Forgive me if this is point blank but she is not the helper she makes herself to be. Please help your kids and move on. I know I am repeating myself but we do hope her baby boy is ok. We will be praying for him and he. ↑ |
| Name: babyhopes | Date: Nov 14th, 2006 7:58 PM |
hit enter too soon.
that is praying for him and her girls. ↑ |
| Name: sdt1977 | Date: Nov 14th, 2006 9:50 PM |
Uhm I spoke to alot of people I never promised to match with anyone I spoke to in the path to make a right decision. I spoke to Tamara on the phone may have and dont recall spoke to one other family around that time on the phone and spoke to a couple from california that was LDS before I spoke to Tamara. It wasnt a Lesbian couple it was a gay couple, I had every right to speak to 800 families if I wanted to and I certainly never asked for a thing. And hello I was working 60 hour weeks and caring for my grandfather up until mid may.
Possibly it would be nice to have all the facts. What scares me is PAP's think an PBM doesnt have the right to talk to more then one couple while trying to make a decision, ↑ |
| Name: Carolyn | Date: Nov 14th, 2006 10:21 PM |
Ladies-
I am asking you to please stop putting Shauna through this; she is going through too much right now with her sick son.
Be thankful if you have never had to go through what she is right now.
She and her son both have my prayers, and I wish that you all will grant her the same.
Love,
Carolyn ↑ |
| Name: erica1 | Date: Nov 14th, 2006 11:42 PM |
Carolyn...Carolyn....
Get a clue...Lord you have been throw this scammer stuff before....this is not any different....then your scammer in TX...just a different MO............... ↑ |
| Name: me2 | Date: Nov 14th, 2006 11:43 PM |
| Where the hell do you live that you do not have the proper medical for your baby? Everything you just posted states he is dying and he is not in a hospital and you are sitting on the computer? What the F----? ↑ |
| Name: hannahsjp | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 12:01 AM |
| Shauna didn't your daughter also see a doctor for failing to thrive? ↑ |
| Name: me2 | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 12:08 AM |
| Where are all your other children? ↑ |
| Name: hannahsjp | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 12:28 AM |
Shauna on your Yahoo 360 page you say that on the 3rd Nov...
Yay, Today I am one day shy of 5 weeks old, mommy snuggles me all the time and I am a great nurser. I am finally back to my birth weight weighing 6 lbs 6 oz as of yesterday and I am 21.5 inches long. I am doing great on my medicine and it has been 5 days since I have been out of the hospital and things are going great.
And yet you say here that the baby is only 5lbs and that he is on formula. There must be a mistake somewhere because a baby that dropped 1.5lbs in a week and is bleeding internally would be admitted as an emergency patient! And if that baby sleeped for 8 hours.....that would totally freek me out...wouldn't you wake it up?? ↑ |
| Name: spring | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 12:43 AM |
| This is the problem with posting your personal life all over the net. Everyone wants answers, when it's no one's business. ↑ |
| Name: hannahsjp | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 12:49 AM |
| Its everyones business if you post it on the net. And if you post it as the truth then it should match up otherwise your lieing. ↑ |
| Name: me2 | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 12:55 AM |
Name: spring • Date: 11/15/2006 00:43:28
This is the problem with posting your personal life all over the net. Everyone wants answers, when it's no one's business. =
Yep some people never learn ↑ |
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