|
Our baby is 4 months old. We got a email from a friend of the birthparent saying they want the baby back. There is no legal way that can happen, but it is very upsetting to us. I am so upset, I would die if something happened to our baby. Just because I didn't birth the baby doesn't make them any less mine. Any feedback? ↓
|
|
| Name: mama2b2007 | Date: Jun 27th, 2007 1:25 AM |
Oh, what a horrible thing to hear. Of course you're upset. I can't even imagine. I recently had an adoption fall through and I was devastated, even though the baby wasn't yet in my arms. Had she already been in my home, and in the crib that I have here for her...well, like I said, I can't even imagine. Stay strong, surround yourself with plenty of support, and take lots of deep breaths. I'll really wish the very best for you.
L. (hoping to adopt a newborn baby in 2007 -- see: www.wanting2adopt.com) ↑ |
| Name: kimbertz | Date: Jun 27th, 2007 2:08 AM |
| wow I hope everything works out because I know in most states the birth parents have 6 months to change their mind. And even though we had a great legal team and a wonderful judge we still held our breath for the 6 months. ↑ |
| Name: kellyjelly | Date: Jun 27th, 2007 7:57 AM |
Go to this link, It will tell you the period of revoke for every state (you might have to type the link in, if copy and paste doesn't work. Sometimes copy and paste doesn't work on this site.)
http://www.cga.ct.gov/200
4/rpt/2004-R-0661.htm
Also
,
read this question and answer segment (you will have to type the address in if you want to see the site, apparently you can't copy and paste this link)
http://life.familyeducation.com/adoptio
n/birth-parents/45781.html:
Revoking
Consent
In this section, I discuss how long birthmothers have to change their minds. A few hours, a day, a week, months? Or no time at all?
Adopterms
Consent to an adoption means the birthmother (and, hopefully, the birthfather) voluntarily agree that their child may be adopted. To revoke consent means that they take back consent. If consent is irrevocable, it may not be taken back.
Well, it depends. Most people assume that birthparents automatically have until the day the adoption is finalized to take back (revoke) their consent to the adoption. But in most cases, this is not true. Unless a fraud has been committed, many states allow no time after signing adoption consent papers to change one's mind. Other states give birthparents a brief window of time—say, 72 hours—after the consent documents are signed to revoke it, although a few allow for much longer revocation periods. It's also true that some states impose a waiting period after the child is born before birthparents may consent to the adoption. See the adoption law chart for specific time frame information in each state. ↑ |
| Name: kellyjelly | Date: Jun 27th, 2007 7:58 AM |
| oh, and I should add, you are fine, that baby is yours. ↑ |
| Name: kimbertz | Date: Jun 27th, 2007 3:24 PM |
Here is a website that has the laws for every state on when a birth parent can revoke an adoption. And it lays it out in pretty simple and easy to understand terms . http://www.crisispregnancy.com/birth-mother/state-
laws-on-relinquishment-consent-time-to-revoke.html
↑ |
| Name: wonteverbackdown | Date: Jun 27th, 2007 3:50 PM |
kimbertz,
what world are you living in parents dont have 6 months to change thier minds in most states, a majority of states have even done away with a relinquishment period. ↑ |
| Name: Terabithia | Date: Jun 27th, 2007 9:37 PM |
| Thanks everyone for your support. Our close friends and family are here for us which means the world to us, and we are surrounding ourselves with them even more lately. I did look up the state laws on revoking everything, we are fine, but I will be glad when August is here and we can "breath" a sigh of relief that the baby is "legally" ours. Everything that adoptive parents have to go through is well worth it, but it is horrible that some people can just have children and abuse and not care about them. OK, I vented, thank you again for all of the support!! ↑ |
| Name: kimbertz | Date: Jun 28th, 2007 12:12 AM |
| I live in ohio and have adopted twice and the policy is after the baby is born you have to wait 72 hours and then you get an temporary order allowing you to take custody of the baby and the birth mom has to attend this court hearing. And then 6 months from when you get the temporary order you have to go back to court and get a permanent placement. But during this time period She could have changed her mind. And any birth father who wants to contest the adoption has to do it in those 6 months. Granted the judge that handled this told us that if she did try to take the baby back it would be really hard . ↑ |
| Name: kimbertz | Date: Jun 28th, 2007 12:15 AM |
| I also know two moms that are in my adoption moms group that had babies taken back. One at 13 days and one at 5 months. So it does happen and probably more often then people realize. ↑ |
| Name: hopefuldreamer | Date: Jun 28th, 2007 12:28 AM |
| Oh Yeah! I feel your pain. We have adopted once. We did not immediately ommitt the idea of having biological family interact, but after a short while there were some (maternal grandparents) stating they were going to take our baby away with grandparents rights, etc. Now five years later and a lot of tears we just keep them at a distance and there has been no actions taken obviously they had no rights and their words were useless. It still hurts, I know. It scared me to death! Hang in there. Don't consider anything crazy like running to Canada...LOL All will settle in time. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS! ↑ |
| Name: dmt | Date: Jun 28th, 2007 9:12 AM |
I am sorry that you are going through all that.
Michelle ↑ |
| Name: wildfire1976 | Date: Jul 24th, 2007 11:54 AM |
| this happened to us and the birth family got her back after 3 months wildfire1976@hotmail.com ↑ |
| Name: Terabithia | Date: Jul 25th, 2007 1:05 AM |
| We have one month now until finalization and I cannot wait!! We have been in contact with the birthparents since the upsetting email, and nothing has been said. I am still paranoid and I "watch" my surroundings, but I now wonder if the email was sent to cause trouble. I think there was some truth to the email due to some references made, but we are going on and praying everyday that the birthparents are confident that this was the right decision for them. Adoption is such a bittersweet event, there is so much emotion for everyone involved. We thank God for our baby's birthparents...but I am also afraid that one day they will try to disrupt our lives. And it is sad because I didn't feel that way until after the email that we recieved. Well, I guess that is it. Sorry to go on so long, hopefully that all makes sense. ↑ |
|
|
