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| Name: 2poms4us | Date: Nov 25th, 2006 12:59 AM |
| Hey Amy, We live just north of Raleigh, NC. We are hoping to create our family through open adoption. Seeing that you have 3 kids I think that if you are considering an adoption plan they would love to know their sibling. We have a profile you can view at http://home.nc.rr.com/karenandphil or you can call us tollfree at 1-866-814-0756. Our email is on our website- please feel free to contact us even if we are not a match for you we may be able to help you with moral support. Best wishes to you and your family, Karen and Phil ↑ |
| Name: HappyMom | Date: Nov 25th, 2006 5:35 AM |
| Hi Amy, We are a loving family hoping to welcome another child into our family. We live in Colorado, but my sister lives in Apex, NC, so visits would be easy both before and after the baby is born. We too would love an open adoption. If you would be willing to consider a situation like that please visit our webpage and you can learn more about our family. Good luck to you on finding the perfect family. Jess nomadjess@ msn.com www.achild2love.co m ↑ |
| Name: vbigelow | Date: Nov 25th, 2006 7:56 AM |
| Don't do it. There are social agencies who can help you with supplies you'll need to parent your child. It will be hard, but better than a lifetime of regret. ↑ |
| Name: momof1 | Date: Nov 25th, 2006 10:10 AM |
| amym, I wish you all the best, no matter what your decision. ↑ |
| Name: momof1 | Date: Nov 25th, 2006 10:11 AM |
| vbigelow..why are you coming on here and being so negative? This is s a place for support and understanding. ↑ |
| Name: erica1 | Date: Nov 25th, 2006 2:28 PM |
| We would love to learn more about you and share with you a bit about our family. Please email us at ericasluvsb@yahoo.com Thanks! Erica ↑ |
| Name: sweetiepie | Date: Nov 25th, 2006 2:40 PM |
| vbigelow is this you? Each person has their own story. What works for one maybe will not for the other. If this is you I am sorry if you are experiencing trouble locating your birthmother. Open adoptions are much different then they use to be. Many things have changed. Good luck in your search. And by the way I would guess at least 95% of the excpectant moms posting here are scams. RecordNumber: 906 GenderOfAdoptee: Female TriadPosition: Adoptee InSearchOf: Birthmother BirthMonth: 12 BirthDay: ?? BirthYear: 68 BirthCity: manhattan BirthState: new york BirthCounty: AdoptiveName: Birth1stName: ??? Jacqueline BirthSurname: BirthMotherName: BirthFatherName: Hospital: Agency: suffolk county social services MaternityHome: YourName: Comments: Searching... I have received the non-identifing information. I'd love to know more. Thank you EmailAddress: vbigelow@tampabay.rr.com AlternateEmail: WebPageURL: ↑ |
| Name: M | Date: Nov 25th, 2006 5:20 PM |
| Sweetiepie, Why did you post vbigelow's personal information indicating that she is in search of her birthparents. Her opinion's on adoption deserve to be heard. Was this an attempt to discredit her and make her seem like a bitter person because she cannot locate her birthparents? Even children who know their birthparents can suffer from the separation of adoption. ↑ |
| Name: nyjocool | Date: Nov 25th, 2006 6:01 PM |
| Hi, we live in New York, but I have relatives in North Carolina and it is only a 9-10 hour drive to the Raleigh area. I hope you will consider us, even though we are further than you were thinking. We are Joanne, Jerry and Jacqueline and are a family of three hoping to become a family of four in 2007! We would like for the adoption to be open or semi-open. Here is a link to our website: http://ouradoptionplan.com On our site, you will also find contact information, including an email address and toll free number if you wish to contact us. Good luck to you! We wish you the best in making an adoption plan for your baby. I respect you for choosing to have the baby rather than choose abortion. ↑ |
| Name: imadeacouplehappy | Date: Nov 25th, 2006 6:19 PM |
| sometime we have to do what's best at that time. i have place a baby for adoption in march.i feel i have lost a child my heart have not been the same.i will never tell you not to place if you can find a good family and you can't make a way to give your baby the best then place.it will not be easy .i play that day over and over in my head now i wish i never place her.to late now i have to deal with i see she her twice a years picture all the time i can call when ever i want. i rather say i place my baby with family then place her for adoption. ↑ |
| Name: baby2 | Date: Nov 25th, 2006 7:47 PM |
| Hi AmyM: We are in Georgia. We have one child through open adoption and would like to adopt again. Our son is 4 1/2 years old is ready to be a big brother. If you would like, please email me at eringoffinet@yahoo.com. I'd be happy to discuss our first adoption or just answer any questions you have. We really have a great relationship with our birthmom and I would be happy to ask her to talk to you if you wanted to talk to someone who's gone through this... Good luck and take care of yourself! Erin ↑ |
| Name: vbigelow | Date: Nov 26th, 2006 8:34 AM |
| sweetiepie, I am not the vbigelow whose information you found. However, since I am in no way a scammer or trying to hide whom I am, let me save you the trouble of further research and provide you with my information. I was born in 1954 and am a birthmother from Michigan who was forced at 16 (sedated, threatened with abandonment, all of which was supported by Catholic Social Services......and no I was not a drug user, alcoholic or mentally ill; just a lonely teenager who made the mistake of hooking up with another lonely teenager, thinking I was in love and getting pregnant the first time I had sex) to surrender a child for adoption. After being mentally tortured by the forced relinquishment and grieving for the loss of my child (I had no idea if he was happy or sad, dead or alive; he was like a soldier missing in action-all I had was the birth photo and the stretch marks), we were reunited. Catholic Social Services even tried to interfere with that even though all the release of information papers had signed by me years before; the APs were in favor of the reunion; and my son was 21 years old). Since my reunion with my son 15 years ago, my feelings outrage and loss over this adoption have only increased. My son was NOT better off because he was raised by a "mother and father" instead of by a young woman. He was exposed to a cult during his formative years; was raised pretty much without rules in an environment where education was not valued. Also, while the APs loved him and tried to treat him like a bio child, the fact that they had four bio childred after they received him who look and act like them (they are huge, Clydesdale like people who are not particularly interested in learning; my son is slight, plays and composes music among many other interests); the fact that he was forcibly separated from the mother he knew for the nine months he grew in the womb and for his first week of life in the hospital; that he knows he was surrendered (even though he knows it was against my will..he still equates it with abandonmnet) all have damaged him. I am here to warn young women who are considering giving up children for adoption (or who are being coerced to) that it is not the innocuous "gift" that childless couples and well-meaning (or for profit) social agencies would have her believe it is. For a mother to surrender a child for adoption is an unnatural act that will have lifelong, sometimes overt and obvious, sometimes complex, complicated and deep consequences for her, for her child and for her family. I think all who are considering adoption should have the opportunity to see and hear this side along with the hype she hears about the advantages her child will have being not being raised by someone who is not young, poor or single (HER). Before you jump in and tell me that every situation is different and that there are birthmoms and adoptees who are thrilled with the outcome of their adoption plans, let me tell you that I base my remarks on what I've learned not only through my own experience but through many conversations with birthmoms, adoptees and adoptive parents; through reading print material and Internet resources; and as a member of Concerned United Birthparents. I am not a scammer or a weirdo, I am a very educated person who functions at a very high level (PhD-in progress; college administrator and professor); I have been married to a surgeon and I have raised three beautiful, intelligent, creative and educated children. I think I have earned the right to have my point of view heard. ↑ |
| Name: vbigelow | Date: Nov 26th, 2006 8:37 AM |
| Thank you, M. ↑ |
| Name: M | Date: Nov 26th, 2006 10:16 AM |
| vbigelow, Thank you for sharing your story. ↑ |
| Name: juliedunesnet | Date: Nov 26th, 2006 4:00 PM |
| Vbigelow your story is very sad and I'm truly sorry that you are experiencing grief and that your experience has clouded your whole life. I hope that you are receiving help to deal with your feelings. Your view though is just that and based on your experiences. It is good to share a different view on here but it may be preferable to recommend that some of these girls seek advice and lots of it and then make up their minds on what is the best thing to do in their circumstances. People are different and what may be appropriate for you, may not be the best course of action for another. For example: the increasing levels of child abuse from parents who can't cope. (Just a point too, most of the posts from so called expectant mothers are fakes.) Not trying to be mean just sensible. ↑ |
| Name: tek | Date: Nov 26th, 2006 4:05 PM |
| We are a christian family living in North Texas. We are looking to adopt again. Please feel free to look at our website. http://www.geocities.com/mike_ tracik/adoptionsite.html Sincerely, te k ↑ |
| Name: sweetiepie | Date: Nov 26th, 2006 4:38 PM |
| Vbigelow, I am sorry your adoption experience was so terrible. And no one should have to experience that pain and heartache. I think the key in educating others is just that... educate. Provide references, links and other informational resources to expectant moms and adoptive parents. There is a huge need for eduction in the adoption arena. Many laws in the US need to be changed to address all these issue. For example, legalized baby selling occurs everyday. Some so-called adoption professionals are strictly in this business for the money. While many of us are highly educated and high functioning, adoption is tremendously emotional and can cut to the core on all sides of the Traid. As a collective group I would think the importance of working together to create a more cohesive system that educates and takes money out of the equation would be a very important goal. I think it is important for all of us not to stereotype birthmoms or adoptive parents. These stereotypes keep us in the past not moving forward. The decision for one to commit to an adoption plan must be thoroughly investigated. There absolutely should be no coercion but it does happen. Yet is is a personal decision. I appreciate your views and you have every right to them. What I would suggest is that instead of telling an expectant mom "don't do it" give her resources, links and other information that will help her make the decision on her own. Thank you for sharing your story, I would suggest that your experience and information could be helpful to many if it was presented in a more objective way. Yet this board is probably not the place since the majority of the expectant moms here are scammers as well as a certain adoptive parents. Adoption still ultimately comes down to: What is in the best interest of the child? ↑ |
| Name: vbigelow | Date: Nov 26th, 2006 6:07 PM |
| Thank you to those who posted the empathetic remarks in response to my comments. Sweetie Pie, I agree with your comments, in general. However, I would broaden your last remark to include an acknowledgement that the birth mother matters, too. She isn't a throw away. My life was ruined by the fact that Catholic Social Services took the attitude that all that mattered was that the best interests of my child were served as they defined them. ↑ |
| Name: vbigelow | Date: Nov 26th, 2006 6:07 PM |
| PS I was 16 years old. ↑ |
| Name: sweetiepie | Date: Nov 26th, 2006 6:45 PM |
| Absolutely, the birthmother matters! They do in the eyes of the child and most adoptive parents. My beef is with so called adoption professionals that are less then educated, abusing the system, in this for profit and forcing their ideals onto others while coercing expectant moms into adoption. That is wrong. This must be what the birthmother feels that is in the best for her child! When an adoption is complete there must be a support system in place for the birthmother. That is one piece that is sorely lacking in this country. ↑ |
| Name: amym | Date: Nov 26th, 2006 7:22 PM |
| I am not a teenager, I am about three weeks off of being 28, so I am not naive. I appreciate your posts trying to warn me and change my mind, although everyone's situations are different, and in my case I have made up my mind on adoption and I have personal reasons why I need to do it. I have been a little under the weather, so I am not ignoring your posts and information, I am going through them now. Thank you all for your support. ↑ |
| Name: Dcallaham | Date: Nov 26th, 2006 8:42 PM |
| Hi Amy, We are hoping to adopt and are in Kentucky. Please feel free to email me if you think you'd like to get to know one another. Thank you, Donna Dcallaham@yahoo.com ↑ |
| Name: sarmatry | Date: Nov 26th, 2006 9:01 PM |
| Hi Amy... We are also looking to adopt and I'm sure you have been bombarded with responses. We live in VA, so we aren't that far away. I'll just leave you our website address and you can look at them when you get time. We would love to talk to you further! Richard and Carey We're hoping to adopt! Please check out our website at http://www.adoptionready.com/~richardandcarey or see us on Parentprofiles.com at http://www.parentprofiles .com/profiles/db14758.htm l ↑ |
| Name: gapeach | Date: Nov 26th, 2006 9:47 PM |
| Amym- Hello! I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday! I would love to talk to you about your situation. I live in GA and I am a school teacher who cannot have children. I can be reached at gaskeeterbug03@yahoo.com I was raised in NC but moved to GA after getting a teaching job here. Looking forward to talking with you and hope you and your family have a wonderful holiday season! Libby ↑ |
| Name: NUTHIEBANKS | Date: Nov 27th, 2006 9:54 AM |
| We are from Pennsylvania, We have an 8 Year old Daughter. Would love to talk with you more about our situation. Email us at Nuthiebanks@msn.com ↑ |
| Name: jk_adoption | Date: Nov 27th, 2006 11:56 PM |
| Hello Amym. Sorry you haven't been feeling well. Hope you get to feeling better soon. My husband and I are looking to adopt one more precious little munchkin, and we'd love to get to know you better. We welcome you to visit our website and learn more about our family: http://johnandkarol.ho petoadopt.com/message.phtml We have a great deal of admiration and respect for you as a single mother, and as you make this very loving, brave, and selfless decision. Hope to hear from you soon! Sincerely, Karol and John jk_adoption@yahoo.com ↑ |
| Name: nikkiandrob | Date: Nov 28th, 2006 7:44 AM |
| Hi Amy We live in Michigan and are hoping to adopt our first child. We totally understand you not wanting to travel, who would? If you'd like to talk, please feel free to email us at nikkiandrobadoption@yahoo.com or check out our profile at www.parentprofiles.com. Good luck! Nikki and Rob ↑ |
| Name: Carolyn | Date: Nov 28th, 2006 11:43 AM |
| Dear Amy- Hi! We are Carolyn and Lou from Colorado. We are a Christian family with a 4 bedroom/ 4 bath home. My husband is a pilot for a major airline, and is in Charlotte alot as a result. We travel alot, and would love to hear from you and would love to fly and meet you and let you make an informed decision for the best family for your precious baby. We are homestudy approved. We have a 5 month old son we adopted from Texas named Andrew. We would love to raise him with siblings. We have an open adoption with his birthparents. Please check out our website with lots of information and pictures at www.readytoadopt.co m/carolynandlouis/ Hop e to hear from you! God bless- Carolyn 303-32 5-3943 lucakady@yahoo.co m email ↑ |
| Name: wondering | Date: Nov 28th, 2006 1:37 PM |
| Carolyn - aren't you already matched with a woman who is due in December? ↑ |
| Name: Carolyn | Date: Nov 28th, 2006 1:43 PM |
| Yes, I am matched, Wondering............. It is never a done deal, until it is a done deal. I have learned that the hard way. Also, we want to adopt 3 or 4 children. We are are very willing and able to adopt more than 1. So why do you ask Wondering? ↑ |
| Name: kcg.65hotmail | Date: Nov 28th, 2006 1:55 PM |
| Hi Amy! My husband and I are interested in your situation. We have a completed and approved homestudy too if you would like a copy. Otherwise you can see us and learn abou us at my myspace :-) www.myspace.com/ilovemykwg ↑ |
