| Name: David | Date: Oct 12th, 2006 9:49 AM |
| You're overeacting to a relationship between the father and his daugthers. Most likely it's because your relationship was different towards your father, and it makes you feel uncomfortable, but very normal for them. Your perception is " this odd behavior" and it's not unusually at all. I wouldn't let your value system interfere in theirs, or you could cause conflict with your boyfriend which isn't necessary. ↑ |
| Name: to David | Date: Oct 12th, 2006 2:27 PM |
| Thank you for being so understanding, I don't like still getting punished at 19 but that how it is at my home, my dad and I have this understanding untill I move out I will obey his rules and yes I still get spanked ↑ |
| Name: winnmom | Date: Oct 12th, 2006 4:55 PM |
| Name: winnmom | Date: Oct 12th, 2006 4:55 PM |
| oh, not you curious0003 ↑ |
| Name: shackelfore | Date: Oct 14th, 2006 12:56 AM |
| personally i never stopped kissing my dad on the lips, but i never crawled in to his bed for a bad dream. even though you know what the twelve year old knows, dad doesn't want to know, it's like kryptonite to him. in our house there is an unspoken rule about the "girlie" issues, we leave dad out of it. we have another rule, when our 8 year old daughter wants to sleep in mommy's bed, daddy sleeps somewhere else. his rule. ↑ |
| Name: Hiddy | Date: Oct 14th, 2006 3:59 AM |
Im sorry to say it, but your the one with the problem.
Im 38 and I would still kiss my Dad on the lips, if he were still alive today, he died about 7 years ago.
Also, you can be aware of sexuality and still want to hug your father at any age. I used to lie in bed and read books with my father and not once did it cross my mind that it was wrong.
Its a completely different relationship to a romantic one. ↑ |
| Name: for Hiddy | Date: Oct 16th, 2006 6:23 AM |
| so do I wish my dad was still alive and even at 38 i could kiss him on the lips ↑ |
| Name: kaitlynn1835 | Date: Oct 18th, 2006 11:26 PM |
I believe it is different for different people. My fiancee's entire family kisses each other on the lips, and have done so to me even, since I am considered part of the family. To me it is just so completely bizzare, but when I asked my future neice if she thought it was odd, she said no, but she was raised with that, so it seems perfectly normal.
Is the relationship with the boyfriend long term? If it isn't, then it isn't any of your business, unless he is touching them innappropriately, and I don't mean cuddling, hugging, or brief kisses. If it is long term, than it is important that you are honest with your boyfriend, because these are kids that could potentially become your step-kids. Also, just because a person knows all about sex doesn't mean they are out to have sex with everyone. I was completely aware of all things sex at 12 years old, but I wasn't out to jump everyone out there. Especially not my own parents. I also cuddled alot with my dad. I'm 23 years old, and at my last visit, I and my parents and my baby all cuddled under the blanket on the couch. Cuddling is a sign of affection. ↑ |
| Name: Still Healing | Date: Oct 20th, 2006 2:46 AM |
| To all Concerned woman- I am from an abused childhood. Grooming is an act where an adult earns the trust of a child so that they can do whatever they please. Its a game with rewards and punishments. Pay close attention. Take your children to the doctor for a physical to inspect the private region if you suspect serious molestion/rape. Signs of abuse can include nightmare, clinginess, to much physical closeness,over jealousy, change in eating habits, depression, vaginal infections, and, but not limited to, playing the role of wife/girlfriend because of the grooming process. If you notice any of these signs act IMMEDIATELY, because if you wait it may be to late to salvage her. (Never confront the suspected abuser, always confront, gently, the abused, in a private setting FAR AWAY from the abusive situation) ↑ |
| Name: Karen | Date: Oct 25th, 2006 3:11 AM |
| Lets just say that everbodys family is different some kiss on the lips some don't some spank some don't ↑ |
| Name: USapple1 | Date: Mar 5th, 2007 12:16 PM |
I would lke to know what people think about my situation. My fiance and his daughter kiss on the lips. It wierds me out. It seems as though she really needs it and I don't understand why. Last night for example she leaned in twice to kiss him and then she was still standing waiting for another kiss. He grabed the back of her neck and pulled her forward for another. I asked him about it and he laughed and said it was because he wanted her to hurry and get to bed.
He also like to show affection to her by stroking her hair or her arm and he denies it but i've seen him smack her butt(which he does to his son as well), When they sit together on the couch she'll lay against him with her arm across his lap or his across hers and I wonder what would happen if she brushes him or visa versa. She used to lay on him but I told him it was inappropriate and she hasn't done that in a while. I find myself thinking that I don't like this behavior because I think of it as things him and I do and I think that the affection a man shows to his daughter should be different the the affection he shows his fiance. Also, she is 13 and hasn't hit puberty yet. I wonder what if she never gets uncofortable with these shows of affection. I find myself not wanting to be affectionate with him after these things go on. What do you think? ↑ |
| Name: Brookz6 | Date: May 3rd, 2007 12:49 PM |
| I don't really have a comment on the kissing part, however, I share a concern about the sleeping arrangements. My boyfriend for the past 5.5 years has his now 11 year old daughter during the week and on weekends and she has never slept in her own bed, or had her own room. Even when he was married to his ex. I think it is unhealthy and it is uncomfortable being around them, it feels like they are a couple. I know this sounds weird - however a psychologist friend of mine says that little girls can start to take on the emotional role of a wife and well I don't know what to do. I have brought this up to him many times, but nothing changes.... ↑ |
| Name: jbluntswifey | Date: May 21st, 2007 1:27 PM |
| Your totally paranoid. When I was about twelve I thought it was a little weird so I stopped kissing my father on the mouth. It totally hurt his feeling. I could tell but it still weirded me out a little. Now I am twenty-four and i kiss my daddy on the mouth everytime i see him. It's no big deal. What's the difference between kissing a mother and a father? They are both parents and you kiss them out of parental love. ↑ |
| Name: riki | Date: May 26th, 2007 9:38 PM |
| u know, it could be just that he isnt letting go, u could help him with that, and its not to wierd, yet ↑ |
| Name: mystery | Date: Jul 2nd, 2007 4:44 PM |
iiiiii
hhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaattttttttteeeeeeee
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mmmmyyyyyyyy
dddddaaaaaddddddd
sssssooooo
mmmmuuuuuuuccccccccchhhhhhhhh
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!
↑ |
| Name: familysux123 | Date: Jul 3rd, 2007 4:02 AM |
i still sleep with my mom i fell its the only time i see her by herself with out her yelling at me or my brother
i cant see my dad anymore he tried killing me...but i meen ur not paranoid u think its weird cause u werent like that around ur dad but to them thats the way they are and like yeaps im 10yrs ↑ |
| Name: Kahty | Date: Jul 9th, 2007 9:02 PM |
| I rather kiss my dad on the lips then get spanked on my ass. ↑ |
| Name: jim | Date: Jul 23rd, 2007 10:52 AM |
| teenage girls who missbehave need to be spanked. At this age they think they can get away with anything.The humiliation of a hard spanking or occasional strapping on the bare bottom will completely change there behavor. I punished my willfull daughter this way all through school.her last spanking was at 20.she went on to become an honer student,faithful wife and great mother.today we are still very close and i see her every few days. ↑ |
| Name: amy | Date: Sep 28th, 2007 9:51 AM |
| my dad always spanks me pulls me panties down ↑ |
| Name: Observer | Date: Sep 29th, 2007 9:21 PM |
| Name: tomt | Date: Sep 30th, 2007 12:29 PM |
I have a 10 year old daughter. My ex and I were separated when my daughter was 5. Since my daughter was two, I always got into bed with her and told her stories and talked until she fell asleep. Since the separation my daughter began sleeping with me (King Bed) on visitation every other weekend. When she was 5 we used to cuddle. At the age of 6-7 we stopped cuddling and now she is on the opposite side of the bed. Now when she falls asleep, I get up and go sleep in her room or the couch. I do this because my ex tried to sue me unsuccessfully for sleeping with my daughter. In the morning she calls me and I usually come and get on the bed and we talk and laugh for a few minutes before she gets up. There is nothing wrong with being this close to your children. I was raised the same way. My parents used to have 5 children in and on their bed at night to watch TV. The younger ones always fell asleep and stayed in bed.
I went before a judge and told him what was going on. He didn't bat an eye lid. ↑ |
| Name: stephen | Date: Oct 5th, 2007 5:09 AM |
| Name: rabbit | Date: Nov 19th, 2007 7:22 AM |
| Name: Alison | Date: Nov 25th, 2007 2:42 PM |
| Yes I Have been going through the same thing and thought and still do find it abit weird. I think there is a time when a parent relizes that a 10 year old girl is way to old to be cuddled in bed with there dad... ↑ |
| Name: sladkfjasl | Date: Dec 3rd, 2007 4:30 PM |
| I have two daughters, ages 12 and 15. We are very close and yes, of course, we kiss on the lips. What kind of puritanical families do people come from where basic affection is seen as wrong? I was also very affectionate with my mother as a child and still kiss her on the lips today. You are worried over nothing. I'm sorry you were never very close to your dad. ↑ |
| Name: roger | Date: Feb 1st, 2008 7:32 AM |
| am a dad, and have a12 daughter she loves to clmb in bed with me ↑ |
| Name: roger and tina | Date: Feb 1st, 2008 7:38 AM |
| we are a fatherand daughter here,am 12 and we find nothing wrong with being close, we still kiss on the lips and hug and i tell him everything i do even about my developing body and we feel its good to be open ↑ |
| Name: rach122 | Date: Feb 1st, 2008 8:10 AM |
| Roger ur a dirty fkin nonce tina would be better off in care!!!! ↑ |
| Name: caucajun32 | Date: Feb 1st, 2008 11:18 PM |
At no age is it improper for children and paerents to kiss on the lips in a non sexual way. It will always be improper for them to kiss in a sexual way.
Crawling in bed with a parent isn't in and of itself improper, it depends on the circumstances, neither should be in a state of disrobe, they should have close on.
The issue of a 12 year old knowing what male genitalia is of no barring on climbing into bed with her father. If the child is rummaging/exploring around under the covers, you need to confront her as she is doing it, if she isn't doing this there is no problem with her being in bed with her dad. She will always be her fathers little girl even at the ripe old age of 64, yet your just a wife, not the childs mother. This child will always have a "Trump Card" over you, and she as a child is subconsously, or very consously showing you thats ....."her"..... daddy.
It's strange that you say "she is a few months away from being a woman", give everyone a break, what a double standard, are you saying she will be your equal in a few months when she is a "woman" ? Of course not, she will not be a woman till she 18 to 21 years old.
To all the people who wrote in and say that your child is "mature" for there age, who are you trying to kid, Maturity only comes with age. Children may have way, way, way more knowlege than we did as kids, yet that in no way equals maturity.
I stopped kissing my daughter on the lips at age five, yet she still kiss's her mother on the lips, my daughter is 8 and her mother is 35. My daughter still climbs in her mothers bed and takes baths/showers with her mother. I don't live there yet am there everyday and know this behavior is taking place. If this was a reversed situation I would be in jail. How would I know if her mother is attracted to her or vice versa.
I think you are on the right track as to at least seek out others opinons. ↑ |
| Name: jshubert | Date: Feb 2nd, 2008 6:38 PM |
| Its always hard to say when it is inappropriate. I have a stepdaughter who is 10. we were married 5 yrs ago. The first piece of advice I got and managed to do right was............our bed is sacred territory. NO KIDS EVER. If my daughter is sick or his daughter has a nightmare....we go to their beds and only for a moment. Guilt is probably driving him. I can say this about the father/daughter relationship.............very crazy at times and if you are not the biological mom....you will always be the outsider. Be sure you love him. not a triangle for the weak. I am still struggling to feel connected to him completely. Its always the two of them and then me and my kids. It sucks. ↑ |
| Name: j | Date: Feb 8th, 2008 12:59 PM |
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