| Name: Amberr | Date: Nov 28th, 2007 2:50 AM |
| honestly i know people that have been there and the parents can get a drug test done but they cant do anything if the drugs are already in there system just becaue they do drugs doesnt mean they cant get there kid back if anything they cant keep a stable house and a job that would be the only reason but at least give visting rites cause thats not fair at all ↑ |
| Name: hassan | Date: Jan 6th, 2008 6:52 PM |
| Name: Sharon | Date: Jan 20th, 2008 4:40 AM |
| I am in the same situation. I have had my grandson since birth and we want to adopt him. The mother will give us a hard time, but she doesn't really want him. ↑ |
| Name: Kim | Date: Feb 4th, 2008 10:50 AM |
| I have been thinking of adopting my niece also. I have had leagal custody of her for over a year. She was only 4 weeks old when I filed for custody, and her parents (my brother and his wife) signed custody over to me willingly, and I went to the judges chambers and asked if I could get temporary custody since the parents were leaving the state and had talked about taking the baby with them and he sighed permant custody of her to me then and there because the parents had signed the papers. Now I want to adopt her, but the mom sometimes tells me or other family that she wants to try and get her back someday. It is so scarry to live with the reminder that they could try and uproot her from my family. They have not gave me any money for her. They didnt come see her for months after the custody was signed. Even when they seemed to take interest in seeing her regularly they suddenly stopped. They have only seen her three times in the last 6 months. I have a good case against them if they fight for custody. My brother (the father) is a level 2 sex ofender with felony charges of molestation of a child, but as far as the dirt goes on mom I have the fact that she willingly neglected her newborn baby and admitted that she did not want to be a mother. Also, my brother fought to the brink to get the mom to take care of her so they could keep her, but the mom did not want her at all. I dont know if these issues are enough to gain full adoption of her. Her parents arent drug users. Hopefully things will work out for me and the baby. I also hope the same for all of you who have taken on your families children. I know the difficulties and how it is all worth it becuse of the life and love the child recives in a home thats safe and sucure. ↑ |
| Name: jj | Date: Mar 10th, 2008 6:44 PM |
| Name: Lisa | Date: Apr 4th, 2008 5:33 PM |
| I have the same issue, I have custody of my niece going on two years now., and all of a sudden her mom who has not been in her life since she was two wants custody. It is a very emotional battle, however if you believe int he power of prayer, PRAY because I truly believe God has power over all! And although you may not get the results right away, He will find a way out for you. I go back to court April 17th and I'm going to fight for her because I have her best interests at heart. So keep your head up dear...I'm fighting with you. ↑ |
| Name: JESSICA | Date: Apr 21st, 2008 3:45 PM |
| I WANT TO ADOPT MY NEICE AND 2 NEPHEWS FROM MY SISTER. SHE IS IN TO DRUGS REALLY BAD AND THE KIDS ARENT BEIN TOOKEN CARE OF PROPERLY. IM NOT FINANCIALLY STABLE SO HOW DO I GO ABOUT DOIN THIS ??? ↑ |
| Name: Dawn | Date: Apr 26th, 2008 2:51 PM |
| Ok We're in the same boat and all I can say is $$$. You have to get the courts to sever their rights. Hire a child adovcate attorney - they will work with you on payments. I am trying to gain custody of my neice and nephew but the mother's grandparents want them too (they are in their 60's). Whoever files first has the advantage. ↑ |
| Name: Emby | Date: May 8th, 2008 12:29 PM |
My wife and I took my niece in in 2000 when she was 11. After seeing my sister leave her more than once in a very unsafe and drug and alcohol filled environment while my sistare ran off to who knows where for an undetermined length of time, we decided to step in. The day school let out in 2000 we picked her up, went to her house and got all of her stuff together and she came to live with us. Two years later we served papers on her mother and father and prepared them in advance. They both signed with no contention and we now have "sole legal and sole physical custody" of her. She turned 18 in March and now wants to change her last name to ours, which leads me to part of the original question that started this post.
We want to adopt her, however, do not know how to go about it. Is there a way to adopt an 18 year old? ↑ |
| Name: kt703 | Date: May 27th, 2008 10:53 AM |
| I want to apply for guardianship of both of my nieces. My sister is 28, lives with our mom and aunt and her two kids. They are 10 and 5. The oldest one's father is dead and the youngest one's father is involved in her life...but off and on, he has drug problems just like my sister and he is often in and out of jail. My mom is slowly but surely growing ill and my aunt has this insane emotional attachment to the youngest one...so much so that she thought her recent birthday was going to be ruined becuase the parents wanted to plan it instead of her, that she flipped out and started crying. So I have that to deal with as well. We live 10 minutes away from them so it's not like the kids would be in another state-just up the street in a healthier, happier environment. Anybody going through this in the state of VA??? ↑ |
| Name: Stephanie | Date: Jun 16th, 2008 7:57 PM |
I've had custody of my niece she she was 3 wks. old. Due to neglect from her Mother, my sister. Her Mother died from a drug overdose when she was 6 wks. old. She is 15 1/2 months old now.
I am adopting her through the state. The courts keep dragging the finalization of the adoption. We have done everything that has been asked of us. The social worker that comes to visit her. Told me last week that the adoption unit thinks that our income isn't high enough.
We have never asked for a dine from the state. She is well cared for. Everything she needs is always provided for, and always will be....
Plus she is loved so much. By my husband and children. I am her only living relative. We have raised 4 kids on my husband income. So I don't understand it. Two of the children are out of the home. We only have two teens at home now..
Is there help for us??? ↑ |
| Name: Rowena | Date: Jun 20th, 2008 11:50 AM |
| How can i adopt my niece who live with us for 4 years before we even come to United States? ↑ |
| Name: kelsey | Date: Jul 8th, 2008 8:26 PM |
well cari i think that you should at least let her get to know her family..
i should no because i am only 15 and i was in foster care from when i was in the 3rd grade....and my foster mom had gotten gaurdian ship over me..but at least i could visit my mother and father they split apart when i was a baby..but i think that your nice should be able to at least see her mother and see whats going on..because soon enough she is going to grow older and she is going to want to know what happened to her parents and why arent they the ones taking care of her...itshard and i no that you are scared to let her see them..
but for now take her to the park and just sit on the grass and tell her mother to meet you there and just each lunch and let her play with her daughter...but before you ever let her sleep over you make sure her mother is clean...but you no like during the day would be good...because lets just say her mother bondded with her because she was in her mothers belly for 9months...??
mabey shee might not be a good parent now but parents mess up alot...
ever one should have a second chance no matter what the case is..??
but ya mabey one day sit down and put your self in her shoes...
and think what you would like...??
i think that the mother would be happy to start to visit her own daughter..[:
and mabey she wont threatin you about taking you to court if you just work slowly with her and try to help out her mother a little bit to.. [:
you dont have to listen to me im only 15 but you no i have been through alot of stuff living here on hawaii... ( : ↑ |
| Name: youlover | Date: Jul 9th, 2008 4:14 AM |
| www.singleparentloving.com ******A single parent on-line dating community geared to single parents needs, information, and discussions combined with the largest single parenting social club . Free join ! meet your soulmatch in your area ! ↑ |
| Name: lost | Date: Jul 14th, 2008 11:13 PM |
| Help - your situation sounds tragic but at least understandable to a point my sister has from nowhere decided she doesnet want her daughter with no drug abuse or other problem... simply too much like hard work - it gets in the way of her social life she has recently found with help from us. do we cut her off to force the relationship or remove her daughter for her own protection?? i want to kill her right now given our background i cannot understand her behaviour?? ↑ |
| Name: help | Date: Jul 14th, 2008 11:34 PM |
| help - you all have real tragic situations - my sister simply does not want her daughter any more - no reason nordrugs and no explanation she simply says its a hasstle. without the full story she is single through choice and has support from the father but he is part time and doesnt see her over night etc he now pays maintainance whic is spent on nights out and my sis is partying all the time - she even complains when she has no sitter evenings when she has been out all weekend - she has a boyf who says he t cope with other peoples kids but she still sees him??? help i cant belive its my famiy im talking about? ↑ |
| Name: DONNA | Date: Jul 20th, 2008 7:20 PM |
| I HAVE HAD MY NEICE FOR A YEAR NOW . HER PARENTS DO DRUGS AND DRINK. NOW THEY ARE TRING TO TAKE HER. THEY ARE TRYING TO HAVE ME ARRESTED FOR KIDNAPPING AND THIS CHILD LIVES WITH ME . I TAKE HER TO THE DOCTOR BUY HER CLOTHES , FOOD , DIAPERS. CAN ANYONE HELP ME ↑ |
| Name: jamie | Date: Jul 25th, 2008 10:28 PM |
| Hello my name is jamie. I am looking for the the same answers you are. My brother and Sister-In -Law are drug users and and their children were taken from them. They are 10 (and twins that just turned 5 and was born on drugs 5 moths early) They came to live with me,I had to get them off the drugs first, I have the same proble that you have you let them see the children and it does not work.I feel like when I make progress then they come to see the children I take two steps back.my brother and sister in law dont want to change,they feel that they did nothing wrong.We go to court this tuesday and we will see then if they can have the children back,but I am fighting it. My sister in law just got of jail yesterday for what else drugs and she wants them back. I have a good case my lawyer said. ↑ |
| Name: sherry | Date: Aug 14th, 2008 7:58 PM |
| no do not let your sister see the child. I have recently got custody of my neice at 10. She has been through alot but is a great child. She told the judge herself that her mother would never straighten up and she wanted a normal life. You are providing your neice a normal life. Go ahead and let your sister threaten you she doesn't have a leg to stand on ↑ |
| Name: Eboogie | Date: Aug 20th, 2008 1:38 PM |
| I have a grandchild of a long time friend of mines. Her daughter handed her over for adoption. My friend and her sister went and got her. She's been in my care for about a month now. She's 5 months old. My friend lives in one City, her daugher in another City and I live in another State. What are the possiblity of me getting full legal custody of a child of no relation to me. Her grandmother is all for it. She loves her granddaughter but its a hardship on her as she has 3 other kids to care for. My daughter is grown in her 3rd year of college so not a hardship for me and my husband. Any advice. I noticed all of you are related in some way and I'm not. ↑ |
| Name: ashley | Date: Aug 22nd, 2008 3:42 PM |
| hi, well i am 17 years old and for the past 2 years i have been taking care of my 2 year old cusin and i know i am still to young to adopt her. my moms husbands nephew is my cusins father and he is always high and on something. he has left her home alone and im tired of seeing how he treats her. he doesnt beat her or anything but im afraid that something could happen to her. i dont know what to do and I would really like to be able to raise her as i have been for the last couple of years. i know people will say im to young and i cant handle, but the thing is i have been and i would have a ton of help from my mom and step dad, and her grandmother. I do attend high school and i know it will be hard but i think it is best for my cusin to be away from him. i need to know what i should do. ↑ |
| Name: BABY | Date: Sep 10th, 2008 11:55 PM |
| I HAVE HAD MY HUSBANDS NEICE EVERY SENSE SHE WAS A WEEK OLD AND NOW SHE IS GETTING READY TO BE 2 YEARS OLD.AND NOW HER MOTHER WANTS TO JUST TAKE HER FROM US.WE NEVER PUT IT ON BLACK AND WHITE SO DOES THIS MEAN WE HAVE NO SAY AT ALL. ↑ |
| Name: crystal | Date: Sep 18th, 2008 12:33 PM |
| does anyone know if a person can get temp custody of your niece without children and youth involved? ↑ |
| Name: joseph | Date: Oct 8th, 2008 1:22 PM |
| Name: ANN | Date: Jan 8th, 2009 8:59 PM |
| I HAVE A SITUATION MY BROTHER WAS KILLED AND HIS WIFE HAS DECIDED TO LEAVE THE STATE , SHE WANTED TO TAKE THE KIDS BUT THEY DIDN'T WANT TO GO AND THE COP SAID THEY CAN STAY , I HAVE HAD THE KIDS SINCE MY BROTHERS GONE WITH THE MOTHER LIVING HERE AND SHE IS NOT MENTALLY CAPABLE OF TAKING CARE OF THEM SHE HAS CHILDHOOD ISSUES HERSELF THE OLDEST IS 11 AND SHE DOES NOT WANT TO GO WITH HER MOTHER WE HAVE LAWYERS BUT IS IT HARD IN NY TO KEEP CHILDREN FROM THERE biological mother i have the school and mental health to back me up saying the children are doing so much better with me than they did with the mother there was neglect and mental abuse and occassional physical , please anyone with ideas how to safe keep these children , and the kids dont even know the other side of the family that the mother found after 38 years ↑ |
| Name: sanada | Date: Jan 22nd, 2009 9:53 PM |
Your responses amaze me. We're going through a similar situation however because of the state we are in (NY) the mother is granted set visitation. As of right now we have join custody with full physical custody. When we went to court (based on a false summos- we were not even asked questions or aloud time to speak because we were not represented by a lawyer. Amazingly enough, the court can grant her a lawyer on her false claims of us not letting her see her children when she hasn't seen or called to arrange visiation since AUGUST!
I am sitting here reading these posts with hope and fear or what is to come. We're trying to do the best for these two young girls who have grown up in troubling and abusive circumstances and now because of the court, we have to drop her kids off at her appartment one day a week for unsupervised 5 hours visits. How can a cout grant something like that while there is clearly a history of abuse and neglect? The children even expressed there concerned and cried when they heard what was happening.
What do we do? Do we get a lawyer, do we sit back and wait for somehting to happen when clearly we know they are in danger? Where is the system just here, where is the line, how are these children really portected? ↑ |
| Name: Lee A Preston | Date: Jan 30th, 2009 7:25 PM |
I want to get legal guardianship of my grandchildren. How do I go about this?
My daughter decided she wanted to stay 5 days a week with her girlfriend, instead of driving home every night and she decides to see them on the weekend. When she arrives at 3:00 o'clock in the morning when she gets offiat 11:00 she wakes them up then on Saturaday morning she acts like she has been here all week and diesn't know whats been going on. She is suppose to pay half the rent and the water/garbage bill and she doesn't.
Do I have grounds??? ↑ |
| Name: Lee A Preston | Date: Jan 30th, 2009 7:37 PM |
My daughter states she loves them but wen she comes home on the weekend she staes she is going to the store and doesn't come back until 2:00 in the morning or she states I'm going to an outing and never sees them or spend time with them.
The Father staes he loves but rents a room and he will not com to see his children because he stated we live too far. (43 miles, he could come on the train but won't do it. He quit his job before the fired him and is not unempoyed.
Do I have grounds of guardianship? ↑ |
| Name: jennifer | Date: Feb 5th, 2009 4:24 PM |
| i have had custody of my nephew for almost 2 years now the mom is trying to get him back but i would like to file for guardianship can anyone please help me ↑ |
| Name: Ashley | Date: Mar 21st, 2009 8:18 AM |
| I had my older sister die close to 2 months ago in a car accident. She had a baby boy who is now 3 months old. From day one my sister-in-law has been raising him. My biological sister wanted the baby back and out of their house. She never made it that far. My sister-in-law now is slowly washing us out of his life. My deceased sister does not like the family he is in now. My parents, other sister and I would like to take action and get custody of my nephew. The father is in Afganistan and is all for us to get the baby back into our lives, says he will even take a DNA test to prove he is the father. Is there any way or person you can suggest will give us some good advice on how to take action towards this? ↑ |
| Name: Tory | Date: Apr 28th, 2009 1:37 PM |
| I recently backed out of an Adoption with my niece and twin nephews and have requested Guandianship I really dont want them to think that I would ever do like there parents and let them down I am the paternal aunt and want to be seen in there eyes that way, Me personally I think you have nothing to worrie about if your sister gets her life straight then great but in the mean time life goes on regarless if she cant see how blessed she is to have her daughter remain with family rather then placed in a foster home where she can get bounced around from place to place. ↑ |
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