Name: Lizard02 Title: My kids HATE my boyfriend

What to do? My kids hate my boyfriend of 3 years. He and his kids live with me, and my kids go one week with me and one with their dad. Their dad is a sedentary couch potato and my boyfriend is an ex-marine badass who wants the house shipshape. He and my older daughter (21) had a huge blow up and she won't come over anymore, and now my 15 year old son is threatening to stay only with his dad if I don't tell my boyfriend to move out. I don't want to lose another kid, but I love the guy, even though, I have to agree, he is an unreasonable jerk sometimes. Any ideas?  ?

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Name: Lizzi • Date: 06/14/2006 20:29:33

No disrespect here but you should NEVER EVER pick your boyfriend over your kids!!!!!!! It's BAD JUDGEMENT on your part if you do. Men will come and go from your life but your kids are there always.You should stick by them NOT your boyfriend!!! You still have at least 1 child under 18 and that should be your FIRST CONCERN not second to your boyfriend and I'm sure that's how your children feel about the situation too.Once your kids are grown and out of the house then by all means enjoy any boyfriend you wish but until then choose your kids as they should be who's most important NOT a boyfriend.  =

Name: Nadine • Date: 06/17/2006 23:41:07

Who's house is it ? There is nothing wrong with a house being in good order, but he should not be running the show with your children! You say only three years in that relationship? Well then he should not try to conform your children because he has not been there to raise them, so therefor keep your children and  =

Name: mommyagain • Date: 06/19/2006 16:39:09

I agree with Nadine. You are the adult in your house. No you shouldnt chose sides but your kids have to understand it is NOT their right to chose your relationship. I also agree that he may need to back off the kids a bit... they are to old for him to try and play dad now. He needs to be an adult that they respect but yet still just a figure not a dicipliner. Just my opinion.  =

Name: jeff • Date: 06/20/2006 07:09:01

Tell your boyfriend to buy a puppy for your kids and trust there will be peace in between them. mattypuppies@yahoo.com  =

Name: jade • Date: 06/25/2006 21:27:05

i would figure out what the problems are before u do anything,if he is just grounding them over everything i would throw him out.i have been there my mom always put her boyfriends over me and my sister her last boyfriend was the biggest jerk ever i ended up running away.listen to your kids first they were there first good luck.  =

Name: rain • Date: 06/26/2006 02:03:13

I think you are asking the wrong people. Your children have already answered your question. The thing is, if you decide you dont mind him being an unreasonable jerk with you, then thats your life. But who decides if he is an unreasonable jerk to the kids. And is it ok for him to be an unreasonable jerk to the kids because you love him. I do hope you find it within yourself to do the right thing. I know it is hard. Good luck to you and your children.  =

Name: bladerunnerx16 • Date: 07/11/2006 15:20:30

Dump the unreasonable jerk and regain your children.  =

Name: lily • Date: 07/15/2006 08:34:37

do u hate ur mum  =

Name: ms.chigger • Date: 07/19/2006 03:17:00

Anybody so callous about "losing another kid" to an "unreasonable jerk" may deserve to -- awful as that sounds...  =

Name: laurevere • Date: 07/28/2006 20:59:24

My sister was in the same situation as yourself some years ago. Her boyfriend was also in the military. His demeanor was haunting and he intentionally pushed everyone away from him, so that included her and her children. He achieved what he wanted and that was to have her under his control. Her children are all grown up and 'WILL NOT" sit in the same room with her because of what she allowed him to do. He convince her that her son "raised up" at him, he was only 11yrs old, the time a male child need a positive role model. My nephew called me, I went and got him, he is now 24 yrs old, college grad and is nothing but "muscles". My sister's "badass" military boyfriend left her for her best friend, 2yrs ago and now she is reaching out to the family she disrespected for him with"NO RESPONSE!" I do not feel sorry for her nor do her children. I told her. ''HE IS A VISITIOR, YOUR FAMILY IS FOREVER!! Donot let him isolate you from your children. Your children ''ALWAYS COMES FIRST!  =

Name: MichelleM-W • Date: 07/30/2006 14:24:53

I had the same problem with my moms boyfriend at that age, I am now 27 and only want the best for my mom. If you love him then why should you be unhappy. If you 15 year old has a problem then you should all sit down and talk about the differences and come to a conclusion. If hes a good man then he wont make you choose, he knows your children come first.  =

Name: db • Date: 07/30/2006 19:33:46

i hate my friend he is a real jerk out of all of them  =

Name: to lizardo2 • Date: 08/18/2006 18:36:50

keep the kids grt rid of the boy friend, tell your friend your kids did not join the marine's an d they will always come first  =

Name: kingjames • Date: 08/19/2006 07:39:43

its kingjames  =

Name: sam • Date: 08/31/2006 09:50:20

dump him if your kids arnt happy you wont be happy  =

Name: leftcoastmom • Date: 09/01/2006 17:22:06

Well, I feel really bad for your kids. You should be married if you are going to co-habitate in the first place. I understand about keeping things in order though. Structure and order is a good thing. You also need to think about how this relationship with the boyfriend is hurting your kids. He can come and go, but your kids are your kids, and their needs come first over the live in. After all, you are shacking up together.  =

Name: wahm_of_2 • Date: 09/04/2006 19:05:07

Kids are a good judge of character, and your children are MORE IMPORTANT than some guy...love or not!!!  =

Name: angel • Date: 09/06/2006 01:04:48

we hate big stacy  =

Name: julie • Date: 09/16/2006 16:00:08

she is not my friend  =

Name: crazed • Date: 09/17/2006 19:42:34

who is big stacie??  =

Name: Allana from Grantham • Date: 09/20/2006 13:50:32

I think you should dump him because he is basicaly turning your kids away from you.You desere better.It will be better for your children and your children are you priority.Get someone new and see if its anything better.good luck!!!  =

Name: Denise • Date: 09/22/2006 13:06:18

Hey wuz up  =

Name: Dense • Date: 09/22/2006 13:07:10

Hey  =

Name: joss • Date: 09/22/2006 16:27:36

i dont knoe wat to do  =

Name: Jessica • Date: 09/23/2006 22:01:42

I don't want to sound mean. But my stepdad is a total jerk. WE FIGHT ALL THE TIME. My moma use to care and now she just sides with him all the time. I got put on anxiety medacine because i'm so stressed out. I just turned 18 and i'm moving out in a week, i plan on staying away for a very long time!!!! Don't let that happen to you and your kid you have left. I wished so bad that my moma was on my side  =

Name: kareena • Date: 09/26/2006 02:24:36

vgftdtfgvbtdx vrtg jrdseftu kWAshadygwaerty  =

Name: Lizzi • Date: 09/26/2006 11:57:39

She's (Lizard02) never come back!  =

Name: Juunon • Date: 09/27/2006 00:59:33

You must sit down with him meaning ur boyfriend and explain to him your situation and how much it hurts. i may be a problem since in the being that they may have not beeen involve . however you need to spend alone time with your kids and learn what is on your mind and thiers as well. speak to him about what if it were him in the situation. Try to stand up for your kids not in an aruging fashion but one on one. Speak to them as one and let your son express his feelings to him.  =

Name: Carmen • Date: 10/02/2006 18:26:59

Who IS THE Most IMPORTANT ur kids or just another guy there is a lot of fishes in the pond but u dont have nemore kids  =

Name: dasboot • Date: 10/14/2006 00:58:24

no disrispect, but a child is more important than a boyfriend. ALWAYS.  =

Name: Michelle • Date: 10/15/2006 02:53:57

My mother chose her boyfriend over my older sister and now they barely talk. She chose him over me and I have no intention of having any contact with her. A surefire way to screw up your kids is to choose a boyfriend over them. Just speaking from experiance. This is what years of therapy has done for me.  =

Name: kaitlynn1835 • Date: 10/18/2006 23:35:30

I am in complete agreement with Lizzi. If your kids absolutely DO NOT get along with your boyfriend, then you need to dump the boyfriend. As harsh as it is, your happiness means squat when it is at the expense of your kids'.  =

Name: Been there, mom ruined that • Date: 10/20/2006 02:54:02

YOUR BOYFRIEND NEEDS COUNSELING] No home is a military base, as far as your children, how dare you, as a mother let it get this far. Your children are your life, and to set aside their emotions because of your need for partnership, is absolulety irresponsible. Dont ask, tell your bf that he is going to change or you are through. Your children come first, so I suggest you start rebuilding your relationship with them before its too late.  =

Name: connielast • Date: 11/20/2006 13:05:09

To been there Mom:

Wow well said !!

The home is sure not a Military Base. I believe is discipline and a reasonable kept home, BUT its a home you and your children should feel safe and comfortable there. ITS NOT the Military.
Sit down talk to this guy, but I have the feeling it won't do any good. Next step is open the door for him. Sorry I don't have good english, but I try hard at it.  =

Name: questionable • Date: 02/08/2007 01:30:44

My mother's last boyfriend, was a jerk and I hated him also...Just a word of advice if your kids don't like him a red flag should go up...Eithier he's a jerk to them when your not looking or maybe he gives off a negative vibe (I'm not saying eithier of these are true), but eithier way there's something they don't like about him and I suggest you ask them what it is... Once you figure that out it might ease your mind a bit.  =

Name: questionable • Date: 02/08/2007 01:32:58

Not that it's really your mind that needs easing... (sorry if I sound rude.)  =

Name: dragraught • Date: 03/01/2007 22:57:36

well i dont know why i am on here i just logged on and this popped up well i am in the same situation i am 14 years old and dont really hate my moms boyfreind i just dislike that they are together. i can talk to u more if u want my page is on divorced family forum and is called lizzy answer plz can talk anytime  =

Name: Lauren • Date: 06/13/2007 05:03:19

OK well i think that a boyfriend should always come after your children your boyfriend may later be gone but u have already made the mistake or your son leaving and u then won't be able to change it and they won't forgive you for stuff you should do whats best for you and the kids because they will be there forever he might be gone later.  =

Name: Rockin Roberts • Date: 06/26/2007 11:15:47

I don't think you should loose a kid by a man.
There is plenty more fish in the sea.
If your kids don't like him, send him packing!
Think about it,
who do you love more your jerk of a guy or your 15 year old?
Who's worth it?
I think your a selfish cow if you choose ur boyfriend but thats my opinion  =

Name: Kenya • Date: 07/02/2007 01:33:44

I think u should say to your kids that i love him but im going to boot him out of my house  =

Name: victoriaalice • Date: 07/02/2007 12:00:45

boyfreinds come and go family are for life! remember that.  =

Name: Aldana • Date: 07/14/2007 00:04:25

Hi, my name is Aldana! My mom has i new boyfriend and i HATE him. Your kids are probably thinking that you don't love as much as you do your boyfriend.If you are forced to pick between your kids and your boyfriend, PICK YOUR KIDS!!! You should have already broken up with him after the first blow up with your 21 year old daughter. YOu have done many wrongs in this relationship already. Have a family meeting (not including your boyfriend and his kids) and ask your kid's opinions like if you should let him go. Maybe you need to go back a couple steps and see what it was you did wrong. Take some action before this gets too bad.......its almost there!!! so hurry!!!!!!!!  =

Name: April • Date: 07/15/2007 00:06:43

your kids should mean more to u than any guy. explain to the guy that the kids just need a break and that u need to try out living w JUST the kids for a while. if he loves u he will understand  =

Name: Mohsen • Date: 07/16/2007 18:22:09

Mohsenmonsef@yahoo.com  =

Name: tionma • Date: 07/18/2007 16:47:28

wanya did maiae tell you what i said  =

Name: chelsea • Date: 08/03/2007 14:49:42

dump him  =

Name: angela • Date: 09/07/2007 18:46:00

move on...u will lose your kids fr good if u stay w this nnoying man....do u really luv this man???  =

Name: Jodi • Date: 09/09/2007 23:42:40

I am in a similar situation right now. I have 2 children from my first marriage, ages 12 and 10 (both boys), and my 12-year-old hates my boyfriend. My boyfriend and I have 2 children together, ages 6 and 2 (boy and girl), and so this just adds to the already tough situation that we are all in. My 12-year-old is a very jealous son, jealous of his own siblings, but nonetheless jealous of my boyfriend. My boyfriend and I have lived together 2-3 times and I have had to come to the conclusion that if he is worth it, he will be there after my children are all grown up and can stand on their own. We do not live together anymore but we still care for and love each other very much. I could just get rid of him but I simply am not ready to let go. So, I just do not have him around my older children, I only see him when my children are with their father. It has been 7 years and my oldest son still hates him, mainly because he wishes that his father and I would get back together and remarry. My son tells me that he wishes that I had never met my boyfriend because his father and I could have worked things out. I left his father and I have tried to tell him that we are never going to be back together. But he thinks that if we would get back together, then things in his life would be so much better. He has a lot of emotional problems and is a really sensitive child. As far as the boyfriend goes, you have to side with your children right now. But, that does not mean that you cannot see him when your children aren't around and like I said if he loves you, truly loves you, then he will be there when the children are all grown and out on their own, and then you can focus on you and what you really want in a boyfriend - whether it is your current boyfriend or another.  =

Name: liz • Date: 10/03/2007 14:58:10

girl you nd to mve on maybe his not the one for you i knw u said you love this guy but your kids come first!!!!!!!! your kids are always going to be there for you how do u knw your bf will??? dnt worry about nothing ok, everything wwill work out  =

Name: Adam • Date: 10/03/2007 15:23:17

My mum has a bf she loves him the best ur kids mean more ten out dont they look just tell him to go i wish my mum would use kids fell like we are not importent  =

Name: dump dog • Date: 10/08/2007 17:00:56

my mom is dating a man how is so mean but hes never shown my mom but me. but my mom likes hem. some times i want to kill hem becuse hes mesing up my life. ps. what sond i dow  =

Name: guest • Date: 10/10/2007 08:10:00

I don’t thing most of this people understand what they talking about, I really think that dumping your boyfriend is NOT going to help,... It will make you unhappy, and you will be blaming your kids for that, and its not for sure that you will establish good relationship with your kids after that anyway…And it is not for sure they would like your next boyfriend,( if you will have one after all this stress )… Ideal solution is to keep everyone happy, and try to avoid confrontation on daily basis…And I should Say that, 15 y. old boys hate everything, including mums boyfriends. It is very difficult age, …All the best!  =

Name: brenda71 • Date: 10/11/2007 15:17:30

your children should come first  =

Name: dr truth • Date: 10/24/2007 19:37:00

move his ass out dont see him till he gets his own dam place let him be gi jo at his house  =

Name: Kate • Date: 10/28/2007 11:31:10

I hate mine because he sucks so bad  =

Name: robshawn • Date: 10/30/2007 15:44:45

do you still want to go out with me  =

Name: TME • Date: 11/02/2007 16:39:33

I have a boyfriend who's 13 year old daughter is very disrespectful, rude and always has a comment or disagreement with me. He has full custody. She didn't know what a chore was ... never had to put a glass away or make her bed until I came around. I think sometimes parents do not see how damaging this could be to their children. The children are so spoiled they are rude. Parents think the child is cute and forget that they are not 5 anymore. It's not cute to be disrespectful and nasty to people. I do NOT agree that a parent should make their children number one. A parent is supposed to bring a child into the world to love, teach right from wrong, discipline when needed and hope the child grows up to be successful and happy. The world should not stop revolving (or your life) just because you have a child. That child will grow up and begin their own life with their own family. So why does everyone think the parent should make the child number one and not their future spouse/or friend. My boyfriends daughter is smart... waits until he is not around to insult me or make comments but acts sweet when he is around. So he doesn't see that she is capable of being so disrespectful. She always walks in between us and wants us to sleep downstairs together - she stares if she sees his hand on my leg. We have been together almost two years, like I said before, he has full custody of his daughter, and he doesn't shut the bedroom door when I stay the night - someone might break into the house and he won't hear it. My parents shut their door for privacy when I was young. My dad kissed my mom in front of us. My parents told me no and guess what - I turned out great. I would have been slapped if I disrespected my parents or an adult. She makes comments "my mommy is a size zero, what size are you" but then tells everyone she loves me. If I am around, she will not even hang around her friends - he thinks it is because she loves me so much but I know it's because of her jealousy. I am a very nice person but do feel that children need discipline so they are not disrespectful to adults. He wants us to move in together but refuses to move her out of her school district... 10 minutes away in a better school! So we have to buy a house together depending on her school district? That's why I think PARENTS need to start thinking more of themselves rather than revolving everything around their child. Why do you think children are so bad these days... they do not understand the word NO because they are brought up to be only number one to the parents. To me, it seems like parents are the children and the children are the adults. What is happening here?  =

Name: kelliebrown • Date: 11/06/2007 12:44:48

kids should come first and be the first priority not some boyfriend or girlfriend. adults have the rest of their lives to spend with their girlfriend or boyfriend after the kids are grown up. if you dont put your kids first cps can and will take them away and give them to someone who will put them first. i know many women who gave up their kids for some petty ass guy and i hope the guy is worth it.  =

Name: kaelyn • Date: 11/06/2007 20:14:19

MY NAME IS KAELYN.DO YOU LIKE ME? IF YOU DO YOU WILL HAVE TO MEAT ME FIRST TO MAKE U[P YOUR MIND.  =

Name: KINDLY FRIEND • Date: 11/14/2007 21:08:18

Dear Lizard02,
My mom is with a complete loser and all of my siblings an i hate hime..... my mom is always telling us we cant hate anyone we just strongly dislike him ... but i disagree i HATE him .. i try to tell my mom but she never listens.. Well for advice i would listen to your kids because when you lose your boyfriend your kids may be gone out of your life and you will be lonely so just listen and love them to the end because all in all you kids come first.  =

Name: Rianna • Date: 11/19/2007 02:17:22

My mum has a boyfriend to and I HATE HIM
YOU HAVE TO DECIDE OVER YOUR BOYFRIEND
OR
YOUR KIDS  =

Name: brianna • Date: 11/22/2007 20:28:34

i would just dump the guy and tell him to move out because when i was younger i had the same problem as them i hated my moms boyfriend and he was so mean , i decisided to move out till she dumped him and it worked!  =

Name: april • Date: 11/28/2007 17:48:23

hi  =

Name: taneal • Date: 12/10/2007 18:41:23

i hate my mums boy friend not  =

Name: Gwen • Date: 12/10/2007 23:16:31

Hello. I am a teenager going through this situation, so I can give you some advice. My mother's boyfriend can be very immature and I really don't like him. This would be OK if my mom talked to me and understood was I was going through. The fact that she doesn't seem to care about this is what is hurting our relationship. I think you should talk to your kids and ask what they don't like, look at it through their eyes, and if it is still jeopardizing your relationship with your own children, end it. Guys come and go, children are the ones taking care of you and supporting you when you get older. If the guy doesn't earn your kid's respect, he isn't worth the trouble.  =

Name: roshanda • Date: 12/15/2007 01:50:23

my son hates my boyfriend.  =

Name: roshanda • Date: 12/15/2007 01:51:16

what to do about that?  =

Name: sydney • Date: 12/19/2007 20:31:21

you should let him go for your kids.  =

Name: hcvhcv • Date: 12/19/2007 20:31:56

yjfd  =

Name: Kelsey • Date: 01/01/2008 01:03:09

This is not really a situation for that problem, but I despretly need help:

My name is Kelsey. I'm 10 years old. My mom went on EHarmony and found a guy named Blake. I really didn't want her to go back into dating after my parents got divorced when I was 5, but I pretended to be excited for her so she would be happy. But somehow she found out I wasn't. So now it's New Years Eve and Blake has been dating my mom for 2 monthes. I don't think my mom knows how much it hurts me and my sister. The next thing I did scared me a little. I went into my moms room and found a box of condoms (Birth Control). I turned white and my heart rate went way up. I couldn't beleive it.

And I've also had some thoughts of sucide.

All I'm asking for is help and advice. If you have any, my email address is hilaryfan008@hotmail.com . I beg of you. I need help.  =

Name: sdney • Date: 01/06/2008 20:11:04

well let your kids come first  =

Name: pat • Date: 01/13/2008 16:25:17

I know how you feel. I married after 15years of being single to a retired first sgt. My son gave him a month and has proceeded to remove me from his life and that of my only granddaughter. I
was told by many that you can only make you happy. You can not keep living for your kids. it was hard but I have not spoken to my son in a year and it has been 1 1/2 years since I saw my granddaughter. Does it tear me up yes, but on the other hand I have to let him grow up and realize he is wrong. By the way his father died when he was five and it was just him and me for fifteen years. They need to grow up and realize if this man treats you with respect and love they have no say and they need to go by your rules in your house.  =

Name: kaylee • Date: 01/16/2008 06:46:11

leave him your kids come first and ouy should no that x x x  =

Name: Samantha • Date: 01/29/2008 22:54:14

if you care enough about your kids you will sit them down and tell them what you just told everyone here (I don't want to lose another kid, but I love the guy, even though, I have to agree, he is an unreasonable jerk sometimes.). and if you love them even more, you would dump the guy...like they say there are millions of fish in the sea.  =

Name: nakoma • Date: 02/01/2008 01:38:16

ok seeing as how i have a step father i loath completely i think i can help you out. now im not going to just attack your boyfriend but im going to give you a bit of your childs perspective and some tips. im 17 and learning psychology so i hope these help.
ok so your bf is a marine ? thats no help and your son im guessing is not trying to hard to work things out either i assume.
what you need to do is first sit down with your boy friend and discuss his relationship with your son. make sure he knows he is not your sons father and should try to avoid telling your son to do choires around the house or giving him punishments. you should also let your bf and your son go out to a resturant and discuss how to get along. a big problem is often communication.
about the choires and such you should be the one to tell your son to do these things he wil feel more comfortable with being told what to do by you and in time will be used to your bf. also make sure you listen to your son and spend time with him a big problem is children feeling left out of things. your son might feel as if you pay too much attention to your bf and none to him so make him feel noticed. also make sure your son knows your bf is a part of your life and that you want all three of you to get along. so ya i hope atleast some of these things work out for you i'd hate to bring more frustration. this is all based off personal experience and things i have noted would work better if my own step father where a resonable man, and my own mother where to pay more attention to the current situation.  =

Name: roxiex • Date: 02/01/2008 10:27:13

WHO IS MORE IMPORTANT YOUR KIDS OR A 'HOT' GUY'?

DER YUOR KIDS RIGHT!!!!!!!  =

Name: someone • Date: 02/02/2008 23:35:12

u should always agree with ur kids.they are the ones that love u those are the ones u love.just like lizzi said  =

Name: kaytay • Date: 02/15/2008 16:43:22

i hate my moms boyfriends she changes boyfriends all the time and the ones that are not mean and hit us, i get close to and then shell break up with them. one i called my dad bcuz my real dad is dumb and he lives on the streets somewhere and he hates me and i hate him. the one i called my dad was a real nice guy and my always has mean boyfriends so it was nice to have a nice guy. but my dumb mom broke up with him and now my mom is dating a guy i dated my bf longer then she new this guy and she wants to get married to him after knowing him for 2 monthes but then she says that i can't love my bf bcuz im only 13 well she cant love her bf bcuz the only have known eachother for like 5 monthes. I HATE THEM BOTH. my mom only talks to me when she wants me to do something for her on the internet or something. when i went to tell her something she ingores me. i have been living with my grandpa but now im in the prosses of moving back and i hate it i rather die, but thats not a chose. my mom and her bf are always in there room. i know what there doing and i mean come on 24/7!!!  =

Name: shan • Date: 02/21/2008 12:17:12

can i have a small chat with you  =

Name: savanah • Date: 02/22/2008 23:43:58

ok well im only 13 years old and ive been through this with my mom. i never did like any of her boyfriends because they always left me out of things. so my advice is that you get an idea of what your kids like then get together and do them as a big ''family ''!! but im warning you never pick your boyrind over your kids they will hate you seriously!!
[3 savanah ...p.s :give it some thought  =

Name: savanah • Date: 02/22/2008 23:48:56

hey kelsey, its all good dont worry about it ! your mom is at least being responsible about it but i do know what your getting at. i think that you dont like this guy and that you know your mom knows better. im only 13 years old and iv seen condoms befoer but im still a virgin. so my advice hide the things from her or talk to her and tell her how you feel.
[3savanah...ps:just dont fret too much ok?
write back  =

Name: savanah • Date: 02/22/2008 23:52:54

ok look i only read the first two sentences of your input ...this is a problem ... if he is hitting you you need to go somewhere else or somthing becaus thts child abuse ... you know what i mean?... cuz he has no right doin that so you need to take a stand and fight back or do something to get away..!!!!
[3savanah...ps:please take my advice! iv been through it befor  =

Name: roxiex • Date: 02/22/2008 23:55:36

id love to chat with you because i put my input on that story too... i told her that her kids were more imprtant too!!
[3savanah... WORD  =

Name: savanah • Date: 02/22/2008 23:57:01

thats right samantha girl speak da truf
[3savanah  =

Name: savanah • Date: 02/23/2008 00:01:36

ok look i just got with this guy on friday 15th. today is our firat full week together. but today he ignored me and went to hang out with three other girls. i mean what do i do? we have been together two other times and the other girls is what broke us up last times HELP!!!
[3SAVANAH ADVICE WOULD BE GREAT!!  =

Name: ali • Date: 02/23/2008 14:07:17

keep dating him, but kick him out of your house and show your kids that you care more for them than your boyfriend.  =

Name: vicoria • Date: 02/24/2008 20:02:11

i am victoria and i am 9 years old and i hate my moms boyfriend and i think you should tell him every thing and dont break up but do what you think is good for you and you children  =

Name: og217 • Date: 03/04/2008 15:05:55

Why is this a discussion? Since when are 15-year-olds consulted about adult matter? Boo hoo, teen boy doesn't like your boyfriend. So? That's the norm. Quit wringing your hands and present this as an unchangeable fact. This is your boyfriend, you live together, this is not a democracy, there are no votes on the matter. The only 2 people who matter said so. Fickle children are not a reason to break up. Lots of kids that age dont like mom's new boyfriend. Tough luck. If you quit showing your kids that they are in control, it will all come to an end.  =

Name: Emma • Date: 03/10/2008 23:24:35

hi my name is Emma and i am 12 ... you probably dont want advice from a 12 year old but i came on google to find answers and i think i am gonna respond to my question... my mom has a boyfriend who me and my sister DESPISE,,,i mean he's nice but something about him just gives us the chills!! i really dont like this guy and my mom thinks i am trying to run her life by hating her boyfriend...the truth is you should probably listen to you're kids because they now whats going on..have you ever heard the saying"if you're kids dont like you're boyfriend there's a good reason" well i understand that now...you shouldent let you're kids run you're life but you should probably listen to them...  =

Name: Corinna • Date: 03/17/2008 14:53:17

I am in the same situation.. I have been dating a man who's dad was in the marines so he has been raised very strictly and is very hard on my son 8 year. I am unsure what to do.. I love this guy but there are red flags...  =

Name: abi • Date: 03/23/2008 15:02:46

you shoud tack them out more  =

Name: ANGRYKID • Date: 03/25/2008 04:23:38

OH MY GOD HOW CAN YOU EVEN CONSIDER KEEPING THIS IDIOT AROUND YOUR CHILDREN. YOU HAVE ADMITTED THAT HE IS AN 'UNREASONABLE JERK' AND YOU HAVE ALREADY LOST ONE KID BY STAYING WITH THE LOSER AND NOW YOUR CONTEMPLATING LOSING ANOTHER ONE TO HIM. WELL MY MUM DID THIS TO ME AND MY SISTERS FOR A BLOKE THAT HAS 5 KIDS BY 2 DIFFERENT WOMEN RANGING FROM 20 YRS TO 5 MONTHS OLD, NO HOUSE, NO MONEY AND A CRAP JOB, AND NOW WE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH OUR MUM ALL 3 OF US SO I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR LONELY LIFE WITHOUT YOUR CHILDREN  =

Name: jennifer • Date: 03/30/2008 20:53:49

my kids hate my boyfriend cause they no that he "does" me every time i g out to see him! i love my boyfriend.. and i always want to be with him so he can do me.. but what should i do to help my kids like him??  =

Name: Noelle • Date: 04/07/2008 11:45:21

1.) Your kids should always be number one. I know what it feels like to feel abandoned by a parent. I know how it feels when a parent chooses their signifigant other over them. It's happened twice now and it is the worst feeling in the world.
2.) If you really love your son you'll talk to him and your boyfriend. Try to work something out. But if there is no way they can live in the house together you're going to have to make a descion. Choose wisely. Boyfriends come and go but your kids will always be in your life. Always. Don't let this expirience ruin their relationship with you. Trust me, they'll have huge issues later in life.  =

Name: sara • Date: 04/24/2008 15:17:14

i want a friend  =

Name: Gwen • Date: 04/25/2008 12:53:33

I am in a very similar situation and although I agree with maintaining the relationship with your kids, I ask..where is the line drawn once they become adults? How much of my life is still under a microscope with regard to how they "feel" about my relationshp? I was married to my 3 kid's (NOW ages 23, 22 & 18) father for 20 years. He cheated, hardly worked, hardly parented and ultimatly ran off with some "gal" barely 2 years older than my then 18 year old. It took me 3 years to get myself to where I even felt I was user friendly let alone date. I met a man who 's about 10 yrs my senior. He's a good man, but he too has a military background along with undercover law enforcement and his personality if very rigid & disciplined. Just the opposite of their father, I felt he'd balance me & the kids and we'd balance him. Well, the 1st year was wonderful, he moved us from poverty to a beautiful home, we fly to many places and I began to feel good about me. Then my kids started to feel neglected, although they were always with their friends, never wanted for anything and never demanded to do anything except accept my boyfriend for ME! Things started to deteriorate and ultimately my 19 (almost 20 yr old (girl) got into many arguments and 1 physical confrontation (it was both of their fault), it hurt me terribly, my daughter needed to sort things out as she was angry still with her father and I was the only parent that had struggled to keep them all together. My oldest (son) went off to college and wasn't always around, my youngest (a boy 16) I felt would be better off with his father as he was rude, wild, disruptive and extremely disobedient. That was the worst situation and decision I ever made. So my boyfriend decided to buy a larger place (we were living in a 1 bdrm condo) so that I could regain my son and hopefully help him to get on his feet. My son has been the most unappreciative, inconsiderate, rude disruptive 18 yr old. He too got into a physical conflict and now I'm so torn as to what to do. They ALL(boyfriend & kids) need to look at themselves and stop blaming others for their shortcomings. I love my son and he;s a wonderful kid but he's trouble with a big "T", so much that his own father has issues being around him on a daily basis. My boyfriend has gotten him out of more jams than I care to mention, but because of his rigid personality he comes across harsh and unyielding. So what do you do????? I LOVE my kids and have done for them over the years, but I am well over 50 and I fell that they need to understand and respect MY life and not try an make it a living hell. I'm not "picking" my boyfriend neither am I picking my kids....I love them both in very different ways and who deserves pleasing? My adult kids or my adult boyfriend or better still ME?????  =

Name: chyenne • Date: 04/28/2008 21:24:39

i hate my mom boyfrind too  =

Name: jaser • Date: 05/05/2008 20:05:36

i hate my moms boy friend he tried ti have sex with me  =

Name: jaser • Date: 05/05/2008 20:06:14

hi  =

Name: Leslie • Date: 05/06/2008 17:58:06

I agree that you all need to sit down and compromise on what ever the issues are.You need to make sure that the role model he is being is what you want for your kids and talk to him about positive reinforcements you can't always just pass out what their doing wrong you have to give praise when they have done something right. Always encourage and ALWAYS let your children know that no matter who your with you LOVE THEM.  =