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My son is 2 years 5 months. His cousin is 6 years and has Autism. I live in a 3 family house. My sister and her Autistic son on the 1st floor my mother on the 2 nd floor and I live with my son on the 3rd floor. I love my nephew and I love my son. My nephew is globally delayed. He can not sit still and he can not talk and he is more than a handful. He has services and doctors that are trying to help him. The house is a revolving door of specialist so he is getting an incredible amount of help with speech, behavioral you name it he gets that service. Now here is my problem I don't want to offend my family but I do not feel safe. I am scared for my son. My nephew hits him over and over again in his head. My nephew is so strong. My son was born premature only 3 pounds and he was in the hospital for 6 weeks before he came home. Sure my 2 year old son looks strong but all of this pounding in his head can't be good. I am so hurt. It's been happening for 3 months and everybody says oh my nephew doesn't know what he's doing. I am tired of hearing that. My mothers house is destroyed he has broken everything all the curtains have been torn down. I think my sister is selfish and unfair. My baby is getting hurt. My sister won't put her so on medication and she puts him in time out. It's a joke. He attacks my son almost every day. If my son and I are at my mom here he comes my nephew ready to hit my son. My mother watches my son a few hours a day until I get home from work. She watches him from 4 to 7 pm. My sister makes sure to drop off her son with my mom during this time. At least for an hour during this time. When I ask her why she does this she says why not. She says her son is like any other child dont' treat him different. But that is not true he is different. He picks up knives he hit my son in his head with a round metal object and a figurene off the table. Yesterday when he hit my son in the head (two very hard blows) my baby was in my lap in the couch. I couldn't even react I just put my arms over my baby's head and then my nephew started pinching me. My sister said oh my gosh I don't know why he keeps doing that. My nephew was siting down with my sister in her lap he just sprung up with no warning and attacked. I call it attacked because that is what it felt like. No body want's t o say anything because he is autistic. Everyone promises to watch my nephew more closely but he is like a speading bulled when he is ready to hit. I have to move and I think it's unfair. My other sister moved away and refuses to let her three girls see my nephew or have any contact with him. I don't want to take those drastic steps but I am sick of being politically correct. When my nephew injures my son severly it will be my fault because I see it coming and I did not do enough to take him out of harms way. What would you do. ↓
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| Name: irish Amy | Date: Aug 25th, 2008 2:17 PM |
Hi, I'm not actually surprised you have not had a response, you come on to a site for parents of children with autism to have a rant about your nephew!
Ok, understandably you have had enough and you are concerned for your own child, if your sister will not say anything then maybe you should, of course your nephew does not understand what he is doing but at the same time your sister should be ready to stop him, does your child scream or cry a lot? does he make a noise that your nephew cant bear? does he play with a toy that may hurt your nephews ears, maybe there is a reason, dont get me wrong I am not for one minute excusing the behaviour but maybe there is a reason, I am asking this because my son is 5 and has autism, my nephew is 2 yrs and 3 mths and screams at the top of his voice and
cries for the slightest little thing, my son has made a dive at him on numerous occasions but I anticipate this along with my sister and she then removes my nephew until he stops screaming or crying. I do believe though for those 3 hrs that you work maybe your sister should not go to your mums while she has your son but I'm sure you realise that your sister has to deal with her son 24 hrs a day and obviously needs a lot of support, not to the expense of your own son I hasten to add. I do hope that you dont have a little bit of jealousy or resentment for all the attention your nephew may get, I apologise if that offends you, I just needed to say it.
When your nephew makes to hit your son or you and your sister does nothing maybe you should take his hands, hold them down and say NO! it could be that this has now become a habit for your nephew if he is allowed to get away with it he will continue to do so, have you ever spoken to one of the professionals that deal with your nephew on how best to deal with this and maybe try to stop it? you have to deal with this sensitively even though quite understandably you have your own sons welfare to think about? have you spoken to your own mother about this?
I wish you luck but agree with you that your own son could be seriously hurt in the long term. ↑ |
| Name: mamakeene | Date: Sep 9th, 2008 7:58 PM |
| Unfortunately sometimes aggressive behavior is just the nature of these special children. As a mother in any circumstance if you feel your child is in danger or at risk you have the moral obligation to protect them at any cost. I know it seems more complicated than that because it's family and you don't want to offend anyone, but it's simple, that's the bottom line. You feel that strongly that your son is unsafe, you remove him from the situation. My son has an autism spectrum disorder and can be aggressive at times, hitting, biting, he even fractured my nose once. It's true he is not doing this with malicious intent. It's not an excuse, it's a typical behavior. These children have trouble expressing themselves verbally and emotionally. So sometimes it comes out in the form of throwing things, hitting, biting, all of these seemingly aggressive "inappropriate" behaviors. If you wish to stay there you must come to anticipate these behaviors (because your sister can't change that about him) , and take proper precautions, what those are will depend on you. ↑ |
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