| Name: lori mccravey | Date: Apr 26th, 2009 7:30 PM |
| HI I AM A MOM WITH A 10 YEAR OLD AUTISTIC SON AND ABOUT THE LAST COUPLE OF MONTHS HE SEEMS S TO BE GOING THROUGH SOME CONSTIPATION PROBLEMS,WE HAVE HIM ON THE POWDER LAXATIVE FROM HIS DOCTOR BUT JUST DOES NOT SEEM TO BE DOING THE JOB,DOES ANYONE OUT THERE KNOWS ANYTHING. ↑ |
| Name: jo-anna | Date: Apr 30th, 2009 1:46 PM |
| Hi. You are very lucky to have a diganoses at his young age, i have a 13 year old son who has only been told he has austium in the 15 months he has other learning problems and ocd which over shadowed his austium. It took me 5 years and a hugh fight with specialists to get the diganoses now he has that i and him are recieving alot more help with how to handle different situations which comes up now he is getting older. Everyone needs to fight for the help which is out there. ↑ |
| Name: exArmyGuy | Date: May 1st, 2009 6:31 PM |
| Hello, 1st time here, i have a 2 1/2 yr old boy that has been told he has HFA and now that he has PDD NOS or is it PPD NOS. I look at it as a long answer for "I dont know". He's healthy and does almost everything a non autistic child would do except talk. I know with his speech therapy he will begin to talk. But now another concern that i have is our marriage is falling apart, as i see by the postings that most are the mothers. I;m a Senior IT Tech that works his butt off to have him attend many therapies paid by my insurance and out of pocket to ensure he is on the right track. But now its like i feel as if my wife has strayed from me and just focused on our son and her family (parents and siblings) is this common for the mother of an autistic child to push away the husband? i would like guidance or answers to how a woman feels after being told their child is autistic, are we (men) labeled as the cause? i'm lost and hurt everyday that passes. ↑ |
| Name: mikeysmom2002 | Date: May 1st, 2009 10:05 PM |
| hi i would lik to chat godbey_bobbie@yhoo.com ↑ |
| Name: mikeysmom2002 | Date: May 1st, 2009 10:33 PM |
| i hve a boy tha was dig, at the age of 1 1/2 he is almoxt 7 nowand we have trye him on alot of diffrent meds and none of them seem to work any suggestions ↑ |
| Name: bigpaws | Date: May 2nd, 2009 4:55 PM |
exArmyGuy... You asked, so here goes. If it's any consolation, and I know it's just very little, my son who is now six was also diagnosed around the same time. First we had an atypical speech delay... my son COULD speak, he chose not to. I was referred to the local county health services office and received free (it's a federally funded program for kids under the age of three) evaluations and we received some great advice from a physical therapist but more importantly received in-home services from a speech educator. We started using sign language and bam, once we took the pressure off vocal communication (I also stopped enabling the muteness myself, I was guilty of being able to translate the grunts and expressions to get my son what he wanted or needed) he started talking in paragraphs. But it does not happen like that with any frequency. The speech and PT folks insisted he could not be autistic. Too bright. very "otherwise typical". Since then with the toe-walking and arm flapping and breakdowns and hypersensitivities, I've had more changing diagnosis than you can shake a stick at... but here's the secret. Those labels don't matter. My pediatrician says PDD-NOS. The psychologist says HFA. The OT says "sensory integration disorders". The psychiatrist says "definitely Asperger's". I agree with Asperger's. In our case my son scores as a very gifted child in many areas, but he's also ADHD we just discovered. How I felt? I was devastated. I knew, in my heart, that my son was autistic long before he got the label. But I wasn't devastated by the label, just the enormous mountain of work I knew would be ahead of me if I was going to make my son a success. Your wife, bless her, must certainly feel like she is the only person in the world who can help your child and that is a huge amount of responsibility to take on. Nothing on the Dads out there or you, but since Mom is the health-care go-to person, the school mom, the family caregiver and coordinator most times, then it is all on her. Thankfully my own exArmy retired Green Beret macho man has always been supportive. He's had a hard time understanding some of the behavioral and social issues we are challenged by and with, and when both parents are not on the same page that makes it even more difficult for the main caregiver. Men are not labeled as the cause at least not the ones I know, but you can contribute to problems if you're not listening to the guidance your wife is probably receiving and trying to dole back out to you and other family members. Please make an effort to learn everything you can and if you don't have the time, listen to what she tells you. There is no particular cause as far as I'm concerned and i don't blame my husband. People take news like this different ways but like anything that is a shock, there is some reeling, some grieving- Instead of allowing yourself to be pushed away, push back with love and a commitment to helping her learn what's right for your child. Help out without being asked. This is much tougher on her than it is on you and I'm sure she's desperate for help herself. Ask yourself this... yes, you work to pay for therapies, but what ELSE are you doing to help your wife and the rest of your family not just cope but succeed? Are her parents listening to her? Are they providing moral support? Sitting? Helping to care for the kids? I'm glad you're hopeful about the therapy but it's not just the therapist's job to help your son talk. It's the entire family's job to help. And it's your job too, before you go to work and when you get home and until you pass out, exhausted. I used to work outside the home until my son was in Kindergarten and now that I don't, it's much much harder to be a full-time parent to an autistic child. You simply have to accept that the dynamics of your family are not what you expected or wanted, but it IS your job to make the best of things. How much time do you think should be, in all fairness, focused on you? Are you helping out in ways that alleviate your wife's schedule and stress so that she can have the time and energy to focus on your relationship?
In my case, my husband took a position overseas specifically so we could afford for me to stay home and help my son get in to and through kindergarten. his behavior is very difficult and we're in our second public kindergarten and have spent $10k already on education lawyers to assist us with the IEP issues... and same beloved spouse is on his way home for just a week (he's living on his own, doesn't do his own cooking or laundry and I have a huge house, three dogs, three kids and take care of all of it myself) and calls me today. It was just one of those bad days. Can't go anywhere, can't do anything. We don't have many of these anymore, but today is one, and in the midst of his calling to tell me his plane will be late getting in, he says to me "well, at least when I'm home, you'll have a break". Ha. A break? I have to do more grocery shopping. More laundry. We have FIVE different doctor's appointments next week, an IEP meeting with a pre-meeting before hand in the pre-dawn hours with our attorney, I have school activities with my son, with my preschool daughter at a different school, it's teacher appreciation week, the shed my husband ordered is being delivered... so, like I told my husband "Please, don't tell me this is a break for me. It will be nice to see you but let's not pretend this is somehow going to be a personal vacation". My point there is, for Mom, it's not. We bear the brunt of most everything. Is everything we do and say right? Helpful? Hurtful? Have we done the research? The right research? What have we missed? What works? What doesn't work? When it doesn't work, THEN what do we do? And this is amidst the usual stresses of having to care for the every day things that are typical- colds and allergies and sleep issues and potty training and teaching and creative time and play time and socializing - all those things are still there, only more challenging.
II hope you're not just worried about the paycheck and the insurance because if that's your contribution, it's simply not enough. You have to be superman to your wife's superwoman.
Lastly- while you're worried about your marriage, consider this. I know a family where Mom gave up a career to care for a learning disabled son and her other kids. Dad was less than supportive, and so she packed up and left HIM with all three kids. It works both ways. My husband tells me every day how much he appreciates the efforts I've put in to all our kids, especially my ASD son who is now in a mainstream classroom with no in-class support and thriving. Three years ago he was that arm-flapping, toe-walking mess I mentioned earlier. I am sure it would not be possible but for all my hard work and my husband's willingness to take the back seat and sacrifice his own wants for what has been best for his family. Oh, and thanks for being a Dad who cares enough to ask even if it's not what you want to hear! ↑ |
| Name: jo-anna | Date: May 3rd, 2009 6:30 AM |
HI, In response to exarmyguy post i would like to say not all men are the same, My austic sons dad left us when my son was 10 months old it became clear at that time something was different about my son his father just looked at him and couldnt love him no matter how hard he tried. My son and his dad had no contact for 10 years i never wanted him to stop having contact, then 2 years ago my sons dad called me out the blue to ask for contact i said yes contact still happening now,
I think what i am trying to say to you is from reading your post i think you are trying to do all you can for your family dont give up you wife (and yourself) have alot to handle with your son support each other and try and talk by yourselfs when your son is sleep some mothers (not all) sometimes forget (for a short while only) other members of the family who are also handleing the change with your son.
Im no expert just a mother i really hope this helps you and i wish yyou all the luck ↑ |
| Name: elvia | Date: May 3rd, 2009 12:21 PM |
| hello, my name is iliana and my daughter is 17 diagnosed with pdd, I have been dedicated to her and she is like an angel, but these last few weeks I am burnt out to the point where I feel my spirit is dead, it is geting too overwhelming for me, I feel like i'm drowning, I don't tell anyone about this because people will outomatically say that it was my decision to have a child, but I also feel that I have human rights, I have been dealing with this for 17 yrs, I can't invision another 40 or 50 yrs of this, my energy and spirit are running on empty at this point, her autism is so severe, it's just devestating, at first, the thout of puting my daughter in a home was not an option, but now I'm thinking maybe I'ts just going to have to be eventually, Please someone help me, I feel so lost. ↑ |
| Name: msolar | Date: May 3rd, 2009 9:20 PM |
| Hello all, my name is Melissa and my son is 22 mo. old - all sorts of regional workers and therapists are bringing up "red flags" re: my son and some level of autism...we're going to Children's this week to "re-check", but now I'm seeing all the "red flags" whereas before I just thought of my son as "quirky"...anyone who can relate? Please email me at melissasolar@ymail.com, thnx! ↑ |
| Name: jo-anna | Date: May 4th, 2009 1:45 PM |
hi Elvia, ust wanted to comment on your post, I have a austic 13 year old my son has profound learning problems and does understand much more than a 4 year old.
I have found things very hard with him in the last 12 months and am now looking into some kind of respite care for him to give me a break, My family were a little funny about it at first but now realise having a child with austium is a hard job, Dont feel bad about it 17 years is a long time you need to have a life too. Hope that helps and you know you are not the only one thinking of such things we are all only human and need to switch off from time to time ↑ |
| Name: exArmyGuy | Date: May 4th, 2009 3:35 PM |
BIGPAWS,,, thanks for the nice resplonse.
Wish i could say our situations with our children were the same but thye are not. Do to the need of my sons therapies and the togetherness of my wifes family we rented out our home to my sister and her family to move in with her parents since the help us out tons. Her mother watches our son during the day or takes him to his therapies, i leave work when it comes to big appointments, I go out to buy the food for him GD/CF diet, and on the weekends i take him to the park with our dog to play around so my wife can catch some downtime rest, she deserves it. As you posted what i've done for him besdies work, and pay for his therapies, i think i have done more than other Dads out there and to top it off i take my brother inlaw 33yr old with every now and then out of the house because he is also autistic but severly autistic where i have be sure to give him a pill at certain hours or he gets violent and destructive. I feel for your schedule and wish you had it easier. At times i wish i was still in and would request Overseas assignments but at the end of the day when i get home i just want to hold my son and tell him continuously i love him. I guess at times i feel jeolous because i see my wife give him all this love and attention and i feel like the old dog in the corner. I think if one isolates another how can 1 person give more than 2. A happy marriage can always give a child or children more than one parent. Who knows maybe things will change as time goes by, if not they we'll have to roll with the punches.
if anyone cares to chat or email me, i can be reached email: net.teck@gmail.co m
or chat at g_mark_77@hotmail.co m ↑ |
| Name: charoof | Date: May 7th, 2009 10:57 PM |
| Hi I have a son that is 2 years old. we just found out he has some autistic behaviors and having a hard time dealing with it. ↑ |
| Name: karenmiller | Date: May 9th, 2009 12:39 PM |
| hi my son has adhd he has had it for a year now i have just recently been told by his doctor that he thinks my son could be autistic he has to go for a diagnosis is there any one who has gone through the same thing and have they any advice on what will happen my son is 9 years old im really worried ↑ |
| Name: nathan | Date: May 11th, 2009 1:51 PM |
| Donna I dont know if this will get to you.I am very new at this type of forum.I have been wanting to talk to someone about my son with someone I dont have to face because I get tounge tied and My thougts dont always come out want I want to say.I often have to rehearse what I want to say down on paper first.So if this gets to you let me know.I have only began to use a computer for a short while.The darn things scare me.But I need to get over my fear in order to talk to other moms with children with autism my son is eight years old and it would be nice to unload some of my fustrations as well as some of the neat stuff he can do that amaze me .It will be nice to be able to cry and not be seen by the person your talking to.So if you are a person who will like to help me out I would like to hear grom you.Iwill tell you more about my self in later chatting as well as my son so for now thanks for being there. ↑ |
| Name: nathan | Date: May 13th, 2009 2:12 PM |
| Iam lookingfora mother that has a autistic son,Ihave been trying to you this resource now for one week and so far I havent been able to get someone to respond to me.I really need to be able to let off some steam as well as share my sons triamphs.Im not that great of a speller so escuse my typing skills .Will some one find the time to talk to me?Im a 47 year old mother with a eight year old son and a three year old little girll.There arent many people I know who I can talk to and have them undestand what iy feels like to have a special needs child.IM going to try to reach an e-mail address to see if i get a response that way too. ↑ |
| Name: exArmyGuy | Date: Jun 3rd, 2009 6:13 PM |
Well i can't figure out how to email anyone questions or just to flat out talk to with what they've done or how they coped with certain issues and vise versa.
So if anyone cares to communicate via email or messenger my msn email and messenger use the same address. g_mark_77@hotmail.com or axismarkg@yahoo.com
Hope someone can help me or hope i can help someone, we caught this before his 1st birthday and have been to many doctors, treatments, and home therapies for out son/ ↑ |
| Name: mandy.esson | Date: Jun 4th, 2009 8:13 AM |
| hi, my name is mandy, i am a wife and mother of six children. My now fifteen year old son started showing signs of autism from an early age but i didnt know thats what it was, he was always a very very shy boy, would not talk to anybody except me, just really wouldnt or couldnt acknowledge anyone else, has he got older things got progressively worse for him , couldnt or shall i say cant cope with school, cannot cope with change in routine, is in trouble with the police, he cant except that he has done anything wrong, his behaviour can be very repetitive, if he doesnt understand what i say to him he will ask me over and over again, i have only just found out that he may have aspergers and awaiting an assessment, it has been very tough for all of us . anyone with a similar story, i would love to chat, thanks, mandy ↑ |
| Name: grannyh885 | Date: Jun 8th, 2009 12:08 PM |
hello i'm a grandmother of a 11 year old boy who has autism.i live with the parents and they do nothing to help him.my husband and i try to talk to the about it but they just get mad at us.all they have him do is play the exbox games.they scream at him when he does anything wrong and have even spanked him.they think he does the things to just get his way.please help me and tell me what i can do
e-mail is elliotthackman@yahoo.com ↑ |
| Name: Joshmom06 | Date: Jun 10th, 2009 4:20 PM |
| Hi my son was diagnosed with mild autism back in 08 he was 2 yrs. old he is now 3 and he is in a program at the a school for pre-k thru 5th grade and he started bk in feb. of this year and he has improved alot he talks more clearly, listens better he goes to school like the regular kids from 7:30am till 2:00pm, I also takes him to speech and occupational therapy once a week it helps alot. Anybody needs to talk feel free to email me at coco_maxwell18@yahoo.com ↑ |
| Name: mistymarie | Date: Jun 21st, 2009 12:56 AM |
| Name: Beanut | Date: Jun 22nd, 2009 8:09 AM |
| Hi, I’m a mother of two autistic children. I have a daughter aged 7 and a son aged 2 and a half. My daughter was diagnosed when she was 2 and my son just got the diagnosis last month. My husband works long hours and I find myself feeling isolated and alone and longing to forge relationships with others in the same situation as me to talk about the highs and the lows. If anyone would like to chat you can email me at kadiniai@yahoo.com.au ↑ |
| Name: Davy32Davy32 | Date: Jun 22nd, 2009 4:06 PM |
| hi I have two kids with autism .My daughter ie 3 and my son is 6 . we found out when she was 18 months and he was 4 and a half. she is in a school for austistic kids and he in mainstream school with a sna. life is to short to look back so we try to look forward and enjoy each day ↑ |
| Name: dalia_in_nevada | Date: Jun 24th, 2009 12:47 PM |
I am writing you this letter in the hopes of some desperate assistance in Nevada and across the country.
I have a young Autistic adult son,
19yrs old, ( Vincent Ortiz ). I understand the dilema you are going thru. You are not alone. I will be happy to talk to you any time, if anything just to listen and support each other.
I will make this brief and to the point.
I am a single mom working many hrs 7 days a week, savings is now gone in an attempt to pay on my own for caregivers. My son has severe "episodes" at which he can bite/scratch/pull hair or all of the above. These behaviors all began over the last couple of
years and are progressively getting worse.He is 5 foot 10 185 pounds. I am 5 foot 2. I can not restrain him when he attacks.
I desperately need HELP now. There are NO group homes or residential facilities who take children and/or young adults w/ Autism here in Nevada. The state treats Autism like it is a dirty word.
I am in fear for the safety of myself and my daughter as we have been attacked a cpl times now without a caregiver here full time.
I was thinking there are several folks in the same dilema as myself here in Nevada as well as across the country..
I would like to know if you could :
1.) assist with helping me open a
RANCH FOR AUTISM here in Nevada. Pahrump still has land low priced and it's far enough out that folks who don't understand Autism will feel comfy, yet it is close enough for medical needs.
I know exactly what these children need to make their life complete and busy with a scheduled routine and space to roam. I know that I could sucessfully provide the care and know how to make it a wonderful structured environment for the children.
For instance:
an equestrian area
music program
arts n crafts
a green house
pool / spa
trampoline
swings
merry-go-round
sand box
walking paths
2.) help / steer / assist me w/ getting some families
together that are looking for longterm placement for their young adults where they will be loved and cared for as if we were there ourselves. Home-like residential environment with plenty of activities to keep them busy and fulfilled. We need 20 committed families that have a young adult who needs the special care and guidance the Ranch for Autism will provide. This will be private pay and also state/federal funded, so it will apply to all.
We all know as parents we can not be there forever for our loved ones. I know I do not want my son to be institutionalized when I can't be there for him any longer. Of course our children can have visits ( home or on site) anytime. You may have the connections, knowledge to get this request completed. You may know someone with acreage ( we need approx. 50 acres ) that needs a tax write-off, or a family member willing to donate. Maybe help get a fundraiser, some attorney's, doctors, wealthy folks. Get the community involved! I have faith in you. Together we can pull
all resources and do this.
I currently have an investor to meet/match up to $800K, which is about 1/3 of what we need to reach our goals. Please contact me with any contacts / ideas that you may have.
God Bless!
Respectfully,
Dalia Power
702-942-0731
360 Yacht Ave
Henderson NV 89012
daliap_exhibitorhousing@yahoo.com ↑ |
| Name: boundtoisrael | Date: Jul 14th, 2009 11:17 AM |
| my oldest son has pdd and alot of time i feel very alone and i can't connect with other parents with kids without pdd like they don't understand ↑ |
| Name: cko1992 | Date: Jul 30th, 2009 4:10 PM |
Hello I am doing a project in my business academy. I am assigned to write a business plan and I chose to work with children with autism because my sister has autism. If u can help please fill out the survey below it will not take long. And privacy is guaranteed.
[a href="http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?
sm=Vm1B_2fsiaEtE6_2f1P3UIVTSQ_3d_3d"]Clic
k
Here to take survey[/a] ↑ |
| Name: bernadette | Date: Aug 12th, 2009 1:15 PM |
| I HAVE A 12 YEAR OLD BOY WHO HAS AUTISM....HE IS DRIVING ME MAD NEED HELP.................. ↑ |
| Name: Ange3 | Date: Aug 14th, 2009 12:28 AM |
| I'm at a loss and I need some help. My son is 3 1/2 and has been hitting and head butting me. He does not understand "no" or "stop". Also, I'll any suggestions for potty training would greatly be appreciated. I feel at a loss and on my own. ↑ |
| Name: Mandie72 | Date: Aug 14th, 2009 6:36 PM |
| Hi, I have an 11-year-old with moderate autism/ Asperger's Syndrome. When he was younger, our family was understanding of his tantrums and mood swings, but now that he's getting older, they are becoming very judgmental about mine and my husband's parenting of him. He can't be parented how they suggestion or in the ways that we parent our other (at-home) children (have two grown children, who are school-age. Our other children are well-adjusted and easy-going, and it seems to me that they should understand his disability more. I find that I am seeing my extended family less and less, because of tired of their judgmental behavior. To me, they lack common sense. They know of his disability and know that he had brain hemorage before birth that caused damge to the corpus collosum, and, therefore, signals can't cross to the other hemisphere. It's similar to a closed head injury. My husband's family is fine and understanding, thankfully. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can deal with my grandparents and aunts and uncles? I'm about to the point of only talking to them or seeing them once or twice a year...and they live only a half-hour away. ↑ |
| Name: Mandie72 | Date: Aug 14th, 2009 6:38 PM |
| Meant to say that I have two grown children and two other school-age children. ↑ |
| Name: justine1 | Date: Aug 17th, 2009 7:31 PM |
| Hi Mandie,I know what you mean about familys,I think most familys can be overbearing even when your child has not got Aspergers,my mother completely controlled my life when I had my first son so I had to make that we see each other just once a month.My second son who has Aspergers does get really hyperactive when my family come over and it does lead to problems I have explained to my father on many occasions not to tickle him as it actually frieghtens him but he just seems to forget.I wouldnt say when you should see them as you should know what is right but maybe once a month for two-three hours because the longer the stay the more difficult for everyone.I wouldnt say push them away you never know when you will need them,and you wouldnt want to seem like you using them when you need help,just keep explaining things to them maybe by them books or movies that show Aspergers and how it is to live with children with Aspergers,even better get someone to film your day to day life and let them say then they will keep quiet as they will be in awe of you.good luck ↑ |
| Name: Mandie72 | Date: Aug 19th, 2009 12:20 AM |
| Hi, Justine1. Thanks for your response. I'll try having them over for two or three hours. I think your right that, then, he may not get so overwhelmed. Maybe we'll get nice weather and have a cook-out; he loves it outdoors and can find a private space to relax. Too, I don't want to push them away--not really. As a society, I don't think people are as tolerant as they should be with children, and when a child has autism...well,you know what it can be like. I'm glad that we can connect here. ↑ |
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