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Hi I need help we tried everything and nothing since to be working no more, any advise i will really appreciated ↓
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| Name: drika | Date: Jan 31st, 2007 4:43 AM |
| hi ruth, thanks for your message, i really need the support right now. I have been going at this alone for 7 years and it gets lonely. My son, aidan, also has behaviour problems and I have been using a program that is quite simple. When he becomes aggresive or does something wrong i issue a simple but firm "stop", dont shout, just loud enough for him to hear you are serious and your facial expression must be appropriate to the situation. If he doesnt respond then i make eye contact with him and say slowly and firmly " NO, STOP" and i divert his attention to something else. It seems to be helping because he doesnt ignore me so much anymore. What kind of problems have you been having? ↑ |
| Name: ruth | Date: Jan 31st, 2007 11:38 AM |
| Hi thank for answer me, it is so nice to have support is so hard to find people how understand everything you are going through, My son, Jonas, he started to get a little bit violent when he get mad when tings don't go his way o when we say no he start hitting things and a new thing he look at us and does like he is going to hit us. We take everything he is obsess with and is not working although he scream but 5 min late is like nothing i really don't know what else to do ↑ |
| Name: drika | Date: Feb 1st, 2007 5:39 AM |
| Hi ruth, I want you to go to a web site called brainchild and look in the section of PDD.NOS. There you will find the program i am currently using for Aidan. If you use it on Jonas i am sure you will find something that will work, especially for the violence. It's called the holding technique and it really helps. Aidan has also tried to give me that look and it looks like he is going to hit me but i stare him down and when he lifts his hand i lift mine too, and then he has to think about what will happen, usually he will put his hand back down or he will shout at me to get rid of the anger. ↑ |
| Name: ruth | Date: Feb 1st, 2007 9:36 AM |
| hi drika: thank you so much i will look at the web. A good news they finally call me from the special school to get information about jonas the only problem it goes to a lottery and I will know if he is in on march but is he is not I don't know what I’m going to do he is suppose to start kindergarten this year and we don't want to put him in a regular school , we try last year and the principal told us the he will be find and that jonas will grow out of it, my son doesn't get along with kids of his age, he is afraid of going to the bathroom by himself, he is scare of the noise of the toiled, when thing changes for him, he becomes a train , that is his obsession , his comfort zone, so when he is in a situation that is not comfortable he start to move his arms like a train and running like a train and doing all the noises, so if the special school doesn't work because he doesn't get pick for this year what do you thing I should do ? I don't want to put jonas through regular school when he is going to be laugh at and his selfsteem is going to go down hill, I have had bad dream about putting him in regular school and jonas becoming a teenager suffering depression and I don't want that to happen to my son any suggestion about that ? I will appreciate it ↑ |
| Name: drika | Date: Feb 2nd, 2007 2:10 AM |
| Hi ruth, The first thing i do when i get to work in the morning is check my messages. Just thank you for being there. I live in south africa so i dont know what age your children start kindergarten over there, but here, our children go to a creche from about 3 months old. I moved Aidan from creche to creche over the years and i couldnt find it in my heart to put him in a special school because he would have to stay with them during the week, and then what would happen to him if i wasnt there to protect him and help him. He has been in a normal mainstreme nursery school for the last three years now and i could not have made a better choice. Although, here in S.A. our children start school at age 6, My son's teacher (who, incidentaly, was my husband's grade 1 teacher) refuses to send him to a mainstreme school and demands that he stay with them learning the basis of education until he is about 13 years old. I am very fortunate to have people in that school that absolutely love him to bits. Unfortunately i have had many incidents where the other children are mean to him and try to bully him because he is different and is non verbal. His 6 year old sister is with him at school and she will sometimes step in and protect him. He has gotten better at dealing with these children and i am glad he is learning to do it now while he is small. I have even had problems with the parent's who dont understand the situation (because he looks normal at first glance) and they might shout at him for bumping over their child, thinking that it was on purpose. If Jonas doesnt get chosen for scool this year you should try getting some children to come and play for a half hour ever few days and gradually increase this time so that he can get used to other children and the way they are. This will help him to adjust to school life. TIP: try taking bits of toilet paper and rolling them into balls, let him try to throw them in the toilet from a distance (you can help him do this) anything that can be flushed down a loo should work, gradually move closer and closer to the toilet, if he wants to throw more in then he has to flush the toilet (but let him do it) for the first try you will have to hold him in your arms and you'll have to jump up and down and make like you're excited to see it flush. He can even block his ears until he gets the message that it can be fun to hear the toilet flush and does it himself. We all worry about our children, us more than others, but it helps to talk about it. Somehow we get through every day, a little bit of love at a time. ↑ |
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