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To anybody who would like to give their input here goes: I have a autistic almost 5 year old little boy. We found out when he was just over 3 (he had the "regressive" autism, and it wasn't easy to spot earlier). The woman who diagnosed him said she thought he would talk but needed a 25-40 hr/wk ABA program. We didn't know anything of ABA and put him accordingly into the local preschool for special needs children. Through trial and error and a few different programs that rally didn't help much(school, AVB,) we now do standard ABA (which he seems to be showing actual improvemnt with 30-35hr/s wk). I feel guilty because had I listened to that woman and started this at age 3 would he be much further off now?. I also look into the future and let's say his potential could have been 70-80%, did I lessen his chance of meeting his full potential by staring the ABA program at closer to age 5, instead of almost 2 yrs earlier. I've been thinking about this alot lately. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks in advance. Dianna ↓
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| Name: irish Amy | Date: Aug 8th, 2007 5:36 PM |
| Hi Dianna, when my son was first diagnosed last september age 3 we were invited to a 'post diagnostic group' which met once a week for 8 weeks. While we were there we were informed of the different methods of teaching and we were warned to be aware of the downfalls of ABA, so I avoided it like the plague until a few months ago, now while I can see what they meant about the dangers i can also see a marked improvement in my son, I also asked myself the same questions but we are very new to this when our children are diagnosed and we have more than enough to think and decide about, so dont beat yourself up about it cos maybe your son is just ready now to take it all in, who knows! I just hope that you are aware of the down sides of ABA also, we want our children to be children not robots, which is why I watch my sons home tutors like a HAWK!! best of luck. ↑ |
| Name: dianna | Date: Aug 8th, 2007 10:24 PM |
| Hi Amy, thanks. You know, that was the exact same reason we held off on the ABA because we had heard that it made the children robotic. I see the improvements too but that's the reason I take it all the more hard that I didn't start it to begin with. ↑ |
| Name: irish Amy | Date: Aug 9th, 2007 4:52 AM |
| well Dianna maybe if you started him on ABA all that time ago he would be a little robot now, just think about that ? you would not know ↑ |
| Name: jojojohnson | Date: Aug 12th, 2007 2:20 AM |
| i have noticed that some children who recieve aba treatment, so seem to be robotic. however, i think you have to find the right program.... my son has gone through 2 different programs. the first one, was not the best, i saw the children were behaving robotically... the second one we tried was wonderful.... my son is doing so well, people that meet with him. who havent seen him in awhile, can hardly believe he is the same child. he talks, and is interested in people.. so, i guess you just have to look, long and hard, and find the place that is right for your child. ↑ |
| Name: irish Amy | Date: Aug 12th, 2007 6:28 AM |
| hi jojo, what programme is your son on? my son was on an iba programme and now he is doing aba, he is due to start school in a couple weeks ( im terrified ) so i thought id give aba a blast before he starts, im glad i did but im not sure that id want aba long term for him ↑ |
| Name: dianna | Date: Aug 12th, 2007 11:03 AM |
| Hi jojo, how old is your son and when did he start talking? That gives me hope because I am desperately waiting for mine to talk. He does say some words and requests stuff? How old was he when you started ABA and how long has be been doing it and for how many hours a week? And thanks Amy for your advice too! Thanks- Diana ↑ |
| Name: ltl | Date: Aug 13th, 2007 2:15 AM |
| Hi Dianna, starting your son with the ABA program at 5 is not late at all. He is still young, and I really think he will benefit from the program. I honestly think that with every program, there are pluses and minuses. Most programs help, but I also know that the child's maturity plays a huge role. When my son was first diagnosed, it felt almost impossible to teach him anything. He wouldn't look at me, nor does he seemed to be interested in what I'm trying to do. When he turned 3, it was almost like he "clicked" as he seemed to comprehend better and communicate better. I knew that it was from his maturity. He's still has a long way to go, but what I'm trying to say is that your son may be hitting that "maturity" level now where he's responding and learning better. I"m not quite sure if starting him earlier would benefit more, but definitely now that you see him showing improvements, keep him in the program, and continue to work with him at home. I've visited the ABA program and I don't think it's a bad program. I'm sure the curriculum changes along with his milestone. All programs try to teach a child to generalize what was learned in the classroom out into the real wold. For some kids, they may required to learn from flashcards first, then learn from real objects, then generalize...it's a step process. They may appear "robotic", but that may be required until they learn to generalize. One day at a time, huh? :-) By the way, how is the "sugar" thing going? Is he still pouring it out all into your cabinets? ↑ |
| Name: jojojohnson | Date: Aug 18th, 2007 1:48 AM |
| hi, my son did not start talking until he was about 4 and a half to 5 years old. he has only been recieving aba therapy for a half a year, and he is almost 8 now... he was a late talker, but once he started, he just kept going.... we were very worried for a long time that he would not be able to talk. but, with the help of us, and others, he has come a long way ↑ |
| Name: jojojohnson | Date: Aug 18th, 2007 1:49 AM |
| sorry, i forgot to mention, my son does 20 hours per week of aba, but when he started out, he was only doing 4 hours...(because we didnt have funding and couldnt afford it). ↑ |
| Name: dianna | Date: Aug 18th, 2007 9:14 AM |
| Hi ltl, thanks for your words of advice. No, he is not dumping the sugar anymore. But he does still try ot get into it. I hope it clicks like it did with your son. What's worrying me about mine is that he is almost 5 and I thought it would have clicked by now. Let's keep our fingers crossed. ↑ |
| Name: dianna | Date: Aug 18th, 2007 9:18 AM |
| Hi jojo, thanks for replying. One more question, when you say he started talking 4 1/2 to 5 years old do you mean talking, talking like full sentences and phrases or do yoiu mean his first single words? My son says words and once in a while will put together two words like "eat cookie" but that is about it. Any ideas on if you think he will talk? Thanks again- DIanna ↑ |
| Name: wallflower | Date: Aug 21st, 2007 1:33 AM |
Hi Dianne,
I so relate with your guilt. I have 3 boys with autism.I sit and cry thinking of what I should of done, what I should do and how in the heck can I make it happen. I'm full of fear at times. It sounds like maybe earlier ABA could of helped, maybe not. It's like 2 of my boys do awesome on the GF diet but the other one doesn't. Kids with autism are all so different. That woman who diagnosed him probably doesn't have an autistic child of her own. autism has been a part of my life for 10 years and I'm still in shock of it. I have to tell myself that my children are lucky to have me as a mom and I'm lucky to be their mom. Because I can tear myself apart with the I should of done this or that. Take care of yourself.
shawn ↑ |
| Name: pevansmum | Date: Aug 21st, 2007 9:29 PM |
| what state do you live in? how did you get so many hours of therapy for your son? i live in fl and cannot find anyone to help me with any kind of at home therapies... ↑ |
| Name: dianna | Date: Aug 22nd, 2007 3:29 PM |
| I live in Ohio and we are paying a good chunk out of pocket along with the autisim scholarship (which in OH anyway) you can opt to remove your child from the public school system and they will give you (the family) 20,000.00 for at home services as long as they are a registered provider. It really does help but it buys you about 20 hrs/wk and my little guy needs more than that. ↑ |
| Name: jennmom1 | Date: Sep 10th, 2007 9:09 PM |
Dianna -
The should have's, would have's, could have's will have to wait. They won't do you any good now. You did what you thought was best at the time for your son. He's improving now and thats wonderful and thats what you need to focus on. Don't beat yourself up. When your child is diagnosed it's not like they hand you paperwork that says, "okay now enter them in this and this and this and then they'll be this % okay.) You have to learn about a disorder thats completely new to you, thats still a mystery to science, grieve for whats going on and find effective treatment amongst all of the a**holes out there that prey on desperate parents trying to help their children. You're doing fine; give yourself a break. Hang in there!
Take Care,
Jenn' ↑ |
| Name: jojojohnson | Date: Sep 19th, 2007 10:38 PM |
| hi dianna, i mean, he started to talk, with meaning when he was 4 and a half. before that he said a couple of words, but at around 4 or 5, he made sense of his words, he used them to help himself. he did not start talking in sentences. but would say " you want to go to the store" meaning that he wanted to go to the store. things like that. now he is almost 8, and his vocabulary is amazing. a few years ago, he was considered moderate to severe, and now he is mild to moderate. ↑ |
| Name: dianna | Date: Sep 20th, 2007 10:46 PM |
| Hi jojojohnson, My son is just saying still single words and he turned 5 last week. It is so discouraging, and scary. He gets good help but I fear his new cars score is going to be severe. His last one taken at 3 yrs old when we first found out he was autistic was 38- moderate to severe. He will once in a while put 2 words together but that is rare. How did you know your boy went from moderate to severe to mild to moderate, and may I ask what certain methodology, if any did you use? Thanks for writing me back. I guess I am going through a rough time now with waiting for the new cars score and just thinking that by 5 yrs. I thought he would have been talking more. Take care and please write back if you get a chance- Thanks- Dianna ↑ |
| Name: ltl | Date: Sep 21st, 2007 12:09 AM |
| Hi Dianna, I can feel your anxiety...I'm so sorry. Is the CARS test given by doctor, or is there a free one given somewhere on-line that I can take? Curiously, is your son saying more single words than 6 months to 1 year ago? I noticed that you had mentioned that he sometimes put 2 words together. That is great eventhough it's on a rare occassion. I think your son is progressing, although at a slower rate than we would hope for. Please try not to be disheartened when he retake the CARS test, even if the result may not turned out well...I know it's easier said than done, but I'm still encouraged for you that at least he has vocabs. There are so many children, unfortunately, out there who are nonverbal. I really think he will get better with time. Stay strong Dianna. I'm praying for you and your son. ↑ |
| Name: DonnaVanecek | Date: Sep 21st, 2007 11:15 AM |
| My Autistic & ADHD son @ 3yrs old learned to talk but could not communicate. He would just answer with grunts and shoulder shrugs meaning "I don't know". In 2004 his 7th grade, I was tired (physically and mentally) of being force to medicate him. I did my research and removed him from the medicine and started him on my own finding of things that we needed to do different in our home. IT WAS THE BEST THING I EVER DID. HE STARTED TALKING AND COMMUNICATING. He is now 16 yrs old and is learning to drive the car. I now leave him in charge of the two younger siblings. He is in band, drama class and interacts with others at school. If you would like to know more of what we did different you can reach me by email Donnavanecek@yahoo.com or 512-365-5717. ↑ |
| Name: llpost03 | Date: Sep 21st, 2007 11:31 AM |
First and foremost you son is not "autistic", your son has Autism.
Though he is different, he is just like any other little boy.
You didn't do anything wrong. You did what you thought was right at the time. With love, support and the right therapy, your son will grow as God intended him to grow.
All you can do is keep on keeping on and working with your child and encourage him daily.
Living by the "what if's" will not only drain you, but will hold you back in general.
Good Luck!!! ↑ |
| Name: clshadrick | Date: Sep 21st, 2007 2:00 PM |
Dianna,
I'm not sure what to tell you. I'm a mother with a 2 year old, That I just went into the doctors with a sick child, and that's when my whole world hit the ground. The doctor wanted to know if I knew why Kaylee wasn't talking. I had no idea, so he now wants to do tests on her. I did research on the internet on autisim and it says that mothers who have T.B. have a higher chance having a child with Autisium. Do I blaim myself, of course i do. In mt option if I didn't, then I wouldn't be a very good parent. It's ok to blaim yourself, but not to much. LIfe happend regardless of how you try to pervent it. Hang in tight, things will be better. ↑ |
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