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I know this sounds crazy but I really need to see the future (or as close as possible). My son who is now 3 1/2 was diagnosed with autism just after the age of 2. I have recently really started to struggle as to me it seems that he is growing physicly but not changing in himself. I love my son to bits and would not change him for the world. I just want him to be happy. It just sometimes it gets really hard and I get so low because it never seems to get easier. He can talk but his level of understanding is very low and can not always rell you what he has done that day. He will sometimes mentions 1 or 2 things that he has done but thats it. I cant have a conversation with him and he doesn't seem interested in playing with children except his sister and her friend. He goes crazy when he sees food and spends nearly every meal time in tears as he eats and it breaks my heart. The bit that really messes with my head is that there is the odd day that he is just like anyother child who doesn't have autism and everything seems "normal" so to speak but then he changes the next day when he wakes up and screams just at the mention of the toilet or brushing his teeth. I just need someone to tell me that their child was the same and that it does get easier just so that I can have a slight glimmer of hope as at the moment I just feel like I cant do anything right by him ↓
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| Name: mondo | Date: Mar 27th, 2007 3:38 PM |
Hello Virginia,
It can be a tearful journey seeing them grow 'differently' from the 'normal' kids but let me say this: Autism is like any challenge presented to a person; it is not the disability which is the challenge, rather, the challenge lies in how we the parents respond to our lives with each given trial. I have a 19yr old son with Autism- though life with Autism is difficult, it brings with it a blessing, that being witnessing the innocence of their souls which reflects on our own and we have the opportunity to realize and be thankful because their struggle in this world reveals what each of us (as a society) can learn from one another, be it kindness, compassion, a helping hand, understanding, patience, the list goes on. I would likely have missed this awakening to what life is all about, had it not been for my son. I don't know if you are a person of Faith, but God is so kind to parents with children with disabilities- delve into prayer and you will find the daily strength and comfort we need when our little souls rattle our senses and break our hearts....they are blessings. ↑ |
| Name: virginia | Date: Mar 27th, 2007 5:34 PM |
| Thank you so much. I am a born again christian and have spent hours praying to god. Praying for healing for lewis and also for me. Sometimes its so easy to blame myself for his autism. I wonder what I have don wrong like what I should of eaten or not eaten. I have played my pregnancy over and over in my head and can honestly say that I didn;t eat or drink anything I shouldn'y have. It has taken me lots of prayer to see that and to learn that autism isn't caused by what we did or didn't do but the way that God intented that child to be. It just sometimes it feels like a very lonely journey. Lewis is very musical and sometimes I wonder if God made him that way because thats how he needs to be to become a great worship leader someday. Please feel free to e-mail me on virginia@whitchurchfamily.co.uk ↑ |
| Name: Ontario_Father | Date: Mar 28th, 2007 8:09 AM |
Hello Virginia. When my wife and I found out 5 months ago that my then 2 1/2 year old son was diagnosed with mild ASD, I too wanted to now what the future holds for him. Will he ever have any friends, Could he ever play baseball, or join the Boy Scouts. Will he ever have a girl friend. What will happen when I die and he is left alone in this world.
I searched, and searched for the answers. I asked every professional I met. No one could answer my question. the best I could get was he is happy and health now and maybe with time and the right treatment but it is hard to say.
Well since then I have done a ton of reading as well as work with Waylon. I've gotten him the help he needed and with in 5 months he is doing just fine. There is a ton of more work to be done but so far so good. He has gone from no real eye contact and a loner that does not speak to a kid that will play who can blink first in a stairing contest with, and looks for other children to play with when we go to GymJam. Oh ya, he rarely shuts up now. You can't always understand what he is saying but he is really trying.
I guess what I am trying to say is that the future depends on what you do now in order to help your child progress. I do not have allot of money, but I stop at nothing to get the help he needed, and it has paid off so far.
I hope that gives you a little glimmer of hope. I could not find one when I needed it, but when I look at my boy and realize how far he has come I know there is hope. ↑ |
| Name: virginia | Date: Mar 28th, 2007 11:22 AM |
Dear ontario
Thank you for your time. It really does help to hear from other parents that also want the same answers. I had been made to feel crazy to even dare ask these by some doctors. I ams also getting all the help I can get. I have just got some Cod Liver Oil to try on him and see how thiat goes. I have also read that there are other vitamins that I can give him that will also help him progress. I ma just looking into those and will keep you posted. Feel free to e-mail me anytime virginia@whitchurchfamily.co.uk ↑ |
| Name: ltl | Date: Mar 28th, 2007 11:17 PM |
| Hi Ontario_Father, that's great to see that your son is doing well!! I finally have an appointment to have my son seen a developmental pediatrist today. My son is now officially diagnosed with PDDNOS. I asked him if he would considered my son to be mild or moderate side within the PDDNOS, and praise God, he said that after evaluating my son, he would consider my son to be on the mild side. Virginia, when I point blank asked the doctor (He is very well known in the Houston area, so I trust his judgements) if a child is diagnosed with PDDNOS that would it be possible that the child can "grow out of it". He responded that there have been cases documented that the child, with early intervention, actually grows out of it and therefore no longer is diagnosed with being on the spectrum. In fact, he said that there are some child after re-evaluation down the road that he had dropped the diagnosis and label them as "normal". NOW THAT'S HOPE FOR ME!! Hang in there Virginia, every child has their good days and bad days. ↑ |
| Name: onlinedizzy | Date: Mar 31st, 2007 7:52 AM |
| Yes Virginia it does get easier. I have 2 kids on the spectrum and the oldest is 7. I think the stage you are at now was the hardest.That your son will interact with his sister and her friend is a very good sign. Liam didn't have much language at 3 and couldn't tell me what he did in his day. Now he has improved a lot ( and doesn't stop talking about computers). So that your son can recall one or 2 things in his day is VERY good. The food thing is very tough and the best thing to do is work on finding things that he will eat (with in reason and that are health) rather than forcing him to finish a meal he can't stand. Colour , smell and texture in foods are very important to a lot of our autie kids and he is not being defiant, it really grosses him out. Good luck, Liz. ↑ |
| Name: rachtwins | Date: Apr 1st, 2007 12:48 AM |
| Dizzy you are a wealth of information ↑ |
| Name: virginia | Date: Apr 1st, 2007 1:20 PM |
dizzy. rachtwins said it all. you really are great. thank you :-). Its great to know that your son was similar to mine. did your son sit for ages just rolling cars back and forth and also just stare into thin air and relay things you have said but in his own imagination? my son does this alot. he really has a very low level of understanding and cant seem to follow more that two word comands. I cant tell him about things. such as christmas or easter or that we are going to the zoo to see the animals coz he doesn't know what I'm on about. He will just stand there and and repeat what I'm saying but thats it. When a lady I know tried to talk to him about her little girl he just goes off in his little world and sais "mm" as if he understood but I know him and know he hasn't. He is just making a sound. Bless him. was your little boy like that at all?
thanks again ↑ |
| Name: virginia | Date: Apr 1st, 2007 1:21 PM |
dizzy
your boy has given me hope ↑ |
| Name: onlinedizzy | Date: Apr 3rd, 2007 3:35 AM |
Hi again. Yes Liam loved to line the trains and carriages up on his wooden trainset. He would get very upset if his little sister pushed them round the track. We had to to teach him how to play with his toys. He now quite likes cars and will push them off the end of tables or race them on a track. He probably plays with them fairly simply for his age though. Even play doh which he loved I had to sit and teach him hand over hand how to roll it out and cut shapes( this used to keep him occupied for ages) I think the language problems are the hardest. You have to keep it very simple at the beginning. Use one or two words only. Explanations just confuse them. Also showing them objects can help like holding up the car keys and saying "car" so he can understand you are going in the car now. Or holding up the plug of flannel and saying "bath " when it is bath time, a cup for drink a blanket for bed.... If he is repeating back the last thing that is said to him then he doesn't understand and is confused. I take photos of places and people with my digital camera and keep them in a little album in my bag to show my daughter where we are going eg the doctors, a friends, speech therpy. kindergarten. Nannas.
You mention that Lewis is very musical, Seize on that strength. Liam loved music and could sing better than "talk" He learnt songs for every occasion and it was like living in a musical even his kindergarten teacher(preschool) used to comment on it. They taught him things by making up a little song eg washing hands. I got music therapy for him which really helped a lot. Now we have recently found some one who will teach Liam how to play piano. I think it is good to focus on your childs strengths.
Rachtwins thanks for the compliment. I guess as I live in Australia there wasn't a lot of early intervention for our kids and we had to find it and do it ourselves. I think your an Aussie too aren't you Rach? How are your 2 little ones doing now?Liz ↑ |
| Name: virginia | Date: Apr 3rd, 2007 6:15 AM |
Hi dizzy. First of all I am so sorry I said that you had a little boy. I didn't realise that you had a little girl. Thank you so much for your advise. You should have yor own website. You are right in what you said about using simple words. and am using them too.
Thank you for your time. xx ↑ |
| Name: onlinedizzy | Date: Apr 3rd, 2007 6:08 PM |
| Hi Virginia, Im sorry if my posts are confusing you! I have a boy AND a girl both have autism. You get toknow this stuff as time goes on and you learn more. What really helped a lot was doing The Hanen Program which teaches you how to communicate and interact with your autistic child on their ownlevel. if ability, If you can at lestget your hands on the book "More Than Words" I think you would find it very helpful. Liz ↑ |
| Name: paul88 | Date: May 15th, 2007 5:42 PM |
| I cannot say my child was the same as i do not have a child! but I am autistic. I am now 19 and from what you have said it sounds like my childhood in ways. infact it sounds more along the lines of asperges rather than autism. autistic people are not abnormal there autism/syndrom tends to affect them more as a child and when they grow older it tends to be alot better infact in some casses they can grow up to be very happy and inteligent people. Albert Einstine for example is now beleived to of had aspergers syndrom and dyslexia! if you want any questions then you can feel free to add me dracula1588@hotmail.com ↑ |
| Name: ConorsHelper | Date: May 15th, 2007 10:01 PM |
Paul
Thanks for posting! You are an answer to a prayer!
Virginia...so happy these mom's have come to your aid! ↑ |
| Name: jojojohnson | Date: Jun 7th, 2007 11:26 PM |
| the book, more than words was wonderful. we got it when my son was first diagnosed at age 4. it was so helpful to us. he went from being non verbal, to speaking full sentences in a year. his conversations are still one sided. he wants to talk about him, and thats it. but he has come so far. i have so much hope for him. we all need to keep our hopes up. ↑ |
| Name: anonanont | Date: Jul 20th, 2007 9:09 AM |
| Go to www.aspiesforfreedom.com. A glimpse of the future is what you will get there as well as some good advice on how to help him and make it easier for him. ↑ |
| Name: reeseintexas | Date: Jul 23rd, 2007 12:02 PM |
| hi, iknow exactly how you feel. my son is also 3 1/2, he is not potty trained, speaks only random words. he is very affectionate, gives hugs and kisses. he becomes very easily frustrated because i don't know what he wants. everything seems to come in cycles. he will sleep well at night for a while and the tamtums will go away, and then they come back. i do see progress, but sometimes it seems so slow it's hard to get excited. since he stated school things have gotten better, and i believe they will continue. there is another family here with an autistic son who is 18, and they go to chuch and out eat and do different things with him. he is moderate in his asd but he dresses and grooms himself, cleans his room. he still has some behaviors, but so much improved from when he was little. that has given me much hope for the future. i know things are going to get better as time goes on, but sometimes it seems that time is standing still. my son is a joy most of the time, but at times i feel that i need just one hour a day to relax in my home. i believe GOd gave me this child in this way for a reason, as he did all parents with autistic child. there is a reason why, even though we may not know what it is yet. It will get easier, we have to believe that. ↑ |
| Name: pevansmum | Date: Aug 21st, 2007 9:46 PM |
| Try a gluten free -Dairy free diet...Read the Gluten Connection...it has a lot of information connected to autism in it as well as a book by the author Karyn Seroussi entitled, Unraveling the Mysteries of autism and PDD...it's an excellent book; it explains what gluten (wheat flour) found in most foods and dairy products does to your autistic child's brain and how to get him off of it. my son has been off of gluten for 5 weeks and his diapers are starting to solidify...if you want to talk more my aol screen name is evan45rj... ↑ |
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