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Name: Deanne
[ Original Post ]
Ok so first off I live in an extremely rich, uber snobby part of california. Finding friends here has been really difficult for me, let alone my daughter. My daughter has adhd, she is a good kid but gets in trouble for her in ability to keep her mouth shut, and or sit still.
She has friends at school, but none of them will come over for a play date or do anything out of school with her. The major problem is that now she has a birthday coming up. I invited her entire brownie troop(13 girls) and her entire class (19 students) NO ONE, not one is coming. Most didn't have the decency to rsvp, so I emailed and or called them all. They all have a "thing" to attend. I am so pissed off I don't know what to do. There will be family there but no children. My daughter is 6.
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Name: airris | Date: Apr 12th, 2006 10:37 PM
well even though her friends are not coming!! try to ask some neighbors!! That is the same thing that happened to my daughter!! only family!! but if the neighbor thing doesnt work out just try to get her to understand it will still be fun!! 

Name: Sarah M | Date: Apr 15th, 2006 10:45 AM
Go to like a fun place for kids like Chukie Cheese or something because that way she still has kids around her and she can offer them to join in on playing with her or sharing her cake or whatever. I think that may be a good thing to do but everyone is different 

Name: Lisa | Date: Apr 20th, 2006 1:40 PM
Oh I am so sorry! Have a talk with your childs teacher,maybe she can help convince other parents to let their children attend.If not,take the family with your daughter and go do whatever it is your daughter would like to do ,(no matter WHAT it is) as long as it makes HER HAPPY then its a GREAT BIRTHDAY!! Again,I am truly so sorry ! Please post back and let us know what you ended up doing! Gosh,I want to cry!!!! If I knew of some kids and had the money ,I would fly them to her party!!!! 

Name: well | Date: Jun 2nd, 2006 12:41 PM
well first of all i dont think having a big party for a six year old is good idea or having a party at all just go out with her go shopping for the toy she wanted and buy a cake and let her pick it out and have a couple of the family over to enjoy the cake together then she will always remember the happiness she gets from her family 

Name: Lizzi | Date: Jun 2nd, 2006 9:41 PM
Great idea well! 

Name: zamina | Date: Jun 16th, 2006 3:11 AM
Hii,
I'm so sorry to hear that.Your girl must be very sad.
Ok, why don't you give all her the friend a token/gift when you give them the invitation card. It will need a little determination and patience with the children.Mention to them that you will give them more exciting experience or gift if they attend the party.
Hope that this would help you.

Regards 


Name: dktumlinson | Date: Jun 26th, 2006 3:05 AM
Your daughter maybe very upset, but with family around, all of you need to make a big fuss over her. Play it up big. Decorate, cake, ice cream, lots of presents, and make a big production about the cake, and talk too your relatives and let them know how important it is for them to play their part in this, and maybe next year thing will be better. 

Name: LATOYA ALVAREZ | Date: Jul 12th, 2006 7:53 PM
i am sorry to hear that. my son's first birthday was like that and i was so upset. but he had a good time. just have the family focus on her and do things she really likes to do. It's her day so just make sure she feels extra special. Or take her out where there will be other kids she can play with or won't really notice there aren't any other kids around. maybe an amusement park if it is in your budget 

Name: JenCarpeDiem | Date: Jul 21st, 2006 4:04 PM
Hey, she's only six, she'll be pretty easy to distract for the day. Take her shopping, on a grown up trip for clothes and toys, and then have a family meal in the evening - let her have a say in the menu, whether it's burger and chips, a BBQ (always fun) or pizza (prepare alternatives and side salad for extended family, if they're invited, just in case.) Let her help cook (a little) and make a big deal out of her being a whole year closer to being a grown up! She'll love it. 

Name: val | Date: Jul 21st, 2006 9:32 PM
You know what...the same thing has happened to my boy. He too is turning 6. I feel so bad for him. I now feel that I need to buy extra for him to make the day super special. I even purchase decorations and things to do fun activities. I feel...what I waste. 

Name: amy | Date: Aug 14th, 2006 8:49 PM
i do care 

Name: htrdladyrose76 | Date: Aug 22nd, 2006 11:06 AM
i have that happen every year with my four kids
somethimes not even family shows up. but i have gotten to the point i will not go to others partys and just am thankful i am at my kids party to see them get older. why are people like that? i have no clue but it's mostley hurting an innocent child who has done nothing wrong. hope the party is better than you exspect 

Name: Kim | Date: Sep 25th, 2006 3:45 PM
that's terrible. I would consider looking on the internet for adhd groups in your area and maybe you can find a group and meet childern her age in those groups and then invite a few of them. That way she has childeren and you can meet parents who in the same boat.
Good luck! keep smiling just as all childern she is a gem! 

Name: Ronnee Sue | Date: Sep 26th, 2006 12:03 PM
Hi Deanne:
My niece was in a special school when she was little and no one used to attend her parties either. The family would just get together and spoil her with gifts and take her somewhere where she'd enjoy herself. have you thought about joining a support group with similar families and kids. This way, your daughter can meet other kids just like her and be friends with them. I would also talk to the Brownie Troop and ask her if they can perhaps have a little celebration for your daughter since no one is coming. People are just so cruel sometimes, I just don't understand it. Good luck to you, and wish your daughter the BEST birthday ever. 

Name: pamela | Date: Sep 26th, 2006 7:57 PM
i go through the same thing with my daughter, we just moved as well and it has been one disappointment after another!!!!!! Maybe after you have the family thing, you can ask a few of the girls in her class, or troop to join you for a fun filled day, some things you can do is set up a little spa day for them, of course with things you may already have ex:nailpolishes, face cream,and so on. It'll be cozy and the girls can feel like princesses for the afternoon. As far as the snutty nieghbors, i totally relate!!! good luck, i know all will turn out better that you could of imagined. 

Name: zoeee | Date: Sep 29th, 2006 10:34 AM
Ohh. Poor little thing. If I lived in the same country let alone the same state I would send my younger sister who is 6 for her:) But maybe if she thinks its just a family thing she will not notice. Good luck 

Name: daniluz | Date: Oct 6th, 2006 10:36 PM
Hi, don't worry change plan, have a special party at a beauty salon or spa. invite her aunts and have fun. she will be happy to feel all grown. have her hair done with pink highlight (not permanent color), pink nails and toes or her favorite color. then she will show off in school. 

Name: Keira | Date: Oct 7th, 2006 2:54 PM
What about your extended family, do they have kids? 

Name: flamingofeathers | Date: Oct 15th, 2006 3:52 PM
well this exact thing happened to me, except i was 12 at the time. the best thing you can to is try to be as happy as possible and maybe take her to do something special like get her nails done or go on a shopping trip. 

Name: jp | Date: Oct 25th, 2006 12:06 PM
This may bother you more than your daughter. If you are o,kay, she will be. Try not to talk about this infront of her as difficult as that is. Maybe talk about your frustrations with a family member when your daughter is in school, so she won't hear your conversation. Maybe you will have more luck, getting your daughter with girls one on one, starting with a short social engagement like a movie matinee. Also , if you can get a mother-daughter event to share.....something interesting for the mother like fashion show at the mall then sundaes or check your local newspaper for entertainment events which someone may not know about and would be interested in. If you can involve a mom, I think that helps . Of course it is the parent who decides if their child will play with yours. Don't worry, your daughter is lucky to have family members in her life and at this age , she will enjoy the love and attention she receives from them.FAMILY MATTERS MOST ! Please don't be offended when I suggest that you are the one who is frustrated with the difficulty in breaking in to the social network. I know, it takes time and that special friend isn't always there when you want. Trust in God.......He loves you and is watching over you. Motherhood is a wonderful thing, and you sound like you want to be the best mon ever. Just be happy and kind even if others are being mean and snobby. Find something you like to do and do it because it is fun, not because you want to meat a friend, and don't worry, it will happen for you. My family is Catholic, and so we go to mass every Sunday, and that helps ground us because we go to pray, but we are also blessed with socializing . There,at least during that time there are kind smiles, gestures and sometimes even conversation. And the children, well they seem to have an easier time finding each other and making friends. I wish it was as easy for adults as it is for children. Good Luck........I'm sure good things will happen for you, they just don't always happen when we want or feel like it should happen. In God I Trust. It helps me to remember that phrase and to say it because you know these human beings. We are all imperfect, selfish at times , insecure, feel unloved etc,etc and we let each other down. I guess its just part of being human. I am 56 years old. Old. Old. I still have alot to learn and the same feelings you do sometimes. God Bless 

Name: Andrea | Date: Nov 4th, 2006 10:17 AM
My daughter has had little turnout at her parties some years too. 

Name: shelia | Date: Nov 7th, 2006 8:12 AM
awww, I'm sure this is way after your daughter's birthday. I would make it special for her WITHOUT anyfriends this time. Sounds like the kids parents are as bad as the kids. Take her out of town with you, husband, sister, cousin, whoever - take her some place special and fun and get her mind off the kids. My daughter has ADHD too, she had some problems like that when she was younger. I want to tell you though, she is now approaching 16 and she has more friends than she can handle. when they are young, the kids seem to go to the wallflowers (quiet), when older, they want fun and she has more than enough friends now. Good luck and DON'T let these kids get your daughter down, you pick her up - she is a sweetie I am sure and you want to keep her self esteem up, she is everything in the world, make her feel special!! 

Name: kathryn | Date: May 18th, 2007 6:24 AM
May she always feel happy, surrounded or alone, its all in the psyche!
God bless..try some personalised teddies for her, www.beartosay.co.uk
The cute teddies come with your personalised message.
Kathryn. 

Name: kiki | Date: Jun 12th, 2007 12:36 PM
what up my brithday is come up. 

Name: kimber | Date: Jun 21st, 2007 1:39 PM
I know this makes you unhappy, but your daughter is only 6. Just make the most with the family you have and when she is much older I am sure she will have friends. It's their problem not yours. I am sorry you are going through this. At least you have family, last year 1/2 the family couldn't even attend my sons party, but this year the whole family is coming. He is only 4. 

Name: helper | Date: Jun 23rd, 2007 1:17 AM
instead of a party, give your daughter singing lessons or acting lessons. when she's famous those kids will regret not coming. 

Name: Delilah | Date: Aug 24th, 2007 10:43 AM
well my party only 3 girls are showing up for a sleepover out of 10 im so mad and dissapointed.. 

Name: CYNTHIA | Date: Oct 3rd, 2007 6:27 AM
I WILL 

Name: elis | Date: Oct 16th, 2007 2:23 PM
when I was little I invited 24 friends to come to my b-day party I decorated for days and no one showed up 

Name: Jane | Date: Oct 19th, 2007 11:28 PM
My daughter is 10. Her father unilaterally changed her school and we are fighting over it in court but it is taking forever. Anyway, she changed schools and only wanted to invite friends from her old school and none from her new. She invited 12 girls from her old school but only one can come and also a girl who lives down the street. Most excuses are that they will be out of town because there is a 3 day weekend. She is pretty bummed. 

Name: Karen | Date: Feb 17th, 2008 5:32 AM
My daughter just turned 8. She has alot of friends at school. So I decided to throw a bowling party and invited 10 kids from her class. Only 1 person showed. No-one had the courtesy to RSVP. I was so heartbroken, but kids are more resilent then adults. That one person could of been an entire army to her. She was so happy. What's wrong with adults today, don't they RSVP anymore? 

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