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| Name: Lizzi | Date: Aug 28th, 2006 7:52 PM |
| I'd tell your bf that if his son doesn't start sleeping in the nice new bed that's been provided for him on his next visit then you will be cutting off all things in the romance department and mean it! ↑ |
| Name: pj754 | Date: Aug 29th, 2006 1:16 PM |
| Do you know exactly why the boy won't sleep in his bed? What is his reason for wanting to sleep with his dad. Perhaps he's jealous of you and his dad being together, therefore, he's trying to prevent your relationship to progress. Other than him not sleeping in his own bed, how does he react toward you? Does he get along with you or have you noticed some signs in his behavior that are odd towards you? Could he be coaxed by his mom to pull these kinds of stunts so the two of you can't be together? You could have your boyfriend trying laying down with his son in his new bed until he falls asleep. Then your boyfriend and you can have your bed all to your self. Tell your boyfriend to read him a story, tell stories to him or just simply talk with him in his new bed. The son sounds like he's doing it for attention. It's ok to give him some attention and perhaps that's what he needs. The son just might feel that you are trying to replace him. Do you think the son would allow you to lay down with him in his new bed and talk with him before bedtime? I know this sounds really weird and I'm not trying to sound ingnorant, if you know what I mean. Or perhaps the two of you can hang out in his room around bedtime, have his dad sit on the son's bed, you sit close to them on the floor or something and just talk to him. He's probably having alot of feelings going on inside of him about your relationship with his dad. He sounds like he just don't know how to handle or deal with it. You have to try to be patient. I know it sucks for you and your boyfriend but deep down, he's crying out or acting out in a way that you both need to figure out why. When I first left my ex 3 years ago, my ex allowed our son to sleep with us. When I moved into a place on my own, my son would try to worm his way into my bed. I had to put my foot down and explain to him that just because his dad lets him do it, I feel he's a big boy now and can sleep in his own bed. To date, I haven't had any problems with him since. Yet, his father still lets him sleep in his bed. He calls our son his security blanket. Yeah, I know, my ex is pathetic. The son is 8 years old and I'm sure he's feeling alot of emotions because his mom and dad are not together. My oldest son, who is now 13, went through the same kinds of feelings. Young boys don't seem to adjust to changes as easily as young girls do. However, the boy is probably idolizing his dad which is ok. He should but there is a specific reason why he won't sleep in his own bed. The two of you need to give him a lot of love and patience. Eventually, it will pay off in the long run. I don't know if my advice has helped but just try to be patient and understanding. Perhaps you've already tried what I have suggested. Getting him to sleep in his own bed is going to take alot of repetiveness on your part. The son probably misses his dad so much when he's away from his father and wants to be near him every second of the day. Let me know how things are going and see if you can figure out why he's acting the way he does. ↑ |
| Name: go | Date: Sep 8th, 2006 9:08 PM |
| I am having the same problem. Fiance's son is 9 years old and sleeps on the floor in our room every weekend. I have been with dad since son was 3 yrs old. Fiance would have son sleep with him until I told him that if son sleeps in our bed one more night I will move out. Fiance made son sleep in his own room. This lasted 2 weekends. First weekend son ended up on couch near our room. Second weekend son was on floor at foot of our bed. Fiance started letting him sleep on floor next to his side of bed. I am so sick of this arrangement due to fact that I find it pathetic on both of their parts. I have gotten to the point that I do not want son over because when he is there he will do anything to prevent his father and I from being together even if we are just talking to each other. This child is scared of his own shadow and what is more pathetic is both fiance and birth mother still call him "my big boy" in baby talk and even carries child on their hip at times. HE IS 9 YEARS OLD!!!!!! My stomach turns because they are raising a wuss and I can't do anything about it. I watch son every weekend because fiance works 7 days a week,12 hours a day. The kid is scared of me because I will not baby him but hold him accountable and make him clean up after himself within reason. I have not figured out how to get that child out of our room yet! I know fiance feels guilty about limited time spent with his son but neither parent realize that by not making him put on his own shoes(I had to teach him how to tie shoes at 7 years old), pick up clothes off of bathroom floor, ect... they are only hurting this child. Of course I am the WICKED step-mother because I do lay down the law. Not my child , Not my problem...yeah right! ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Sep 8th, 2006 11:09 PM |
| To go,I couldn't help but laugh at some of the things you said, (sorry),but man that's a problem! I'd say either your man needs to go back to his ex so him and her can raise their son in their own little" wussy way "or your man needs to be a man and instill some manly values in his son so he can grow up into a man himself one day instead of this sissyfied,scared of his own shadow,weakling! ↑ |
| Name: pj754 | Date: Sep 9th, 2006 3:58 AM |
| To Go---If you plan on marrying this man then you need to re-evaluate your relationship with fiance. You are always going to have problems with the step-son because he's going to want his mommy and daddy to get together. My 13 year old has wished this untl I just recently got married. Now, he seems like he's in limbo. To date, he knows we aren't getting back together but he still doesn't like it. Even though his father was abusived to me and the children, he still idolizes his father. So, all I can do is tell him Iove and hope that one day he realize exactly just how much I love him. He's 13 and thinks he knows it all and no matter how hard I try in making him understand the rules of life, he chooses not to listen. All I'm saying is do fight something you know in your heart you can't change. Prepare yourself for what's in store. Even though, you put your foot down and keep strict rules are you always going to have recentment from the child's parents? These are questions you need to ask yourself and are you prepare for the out comes? I wishe you and I certainly hope things work out for you. I'm sorry if I was blunt in what I said. I wish you great happiness. ↑ |
| Name: Francine | Date: Oct 12th, 2006 5:04 PM |
| Camp out in the living room ↑ |
| Name: VeggieMom2B | Date: Oct 12th, 2006 5:27 PM |
| Maybe he has nightmares, and is afraid to sleep by himself??? (Could be from separation -subconsciously) I would persistently sleep with him at his bed first and once he falls asleep then move back to my room. This is also something that you will have to very much at the same page with your boyfriend. Both of you will need to work on it together. If he wakes up in middle of the night then I would go to his room and be with him until he falls back asleep. 8 years old can have lots of fears and anxiety. This is something I would handle very gently with the boy, make sure he feels safe, loved, and been taking care of. Good luck! ↑ |
| Name: Texas_Mom | Date: Oct 14th, 2006 12:10 AM |
| malibusunnygirl: I do not believe this is a cry for attention. It is about control. If dad continues to let the child dictate the sleeping arrangements, dad is letting himself be manipulated by a child. First, bf needs to get with the program. He needs to calmy, gently, reassuringly, return the boy to his bed EVERY time he gets out of it. BF needs to set limits now or his son will be a teenager controlling EVERY aspect of his life. Also, I believe that the story time and having you sit in with them and participate in the story will be helpful. Read the story and have bf gently remind son that after storytime is bedtime and he MUST remain in his bed. Have bf reassure him that bf doesn't want son on the floor or anywhere else because it's dangerous. Someone could get hurt. And heaven forbid if there was a fire. If son isn't in his bed, where on earth would you begin searching for him? Or if son is at the end of the bed and bf trips over him while trying to save everyone, falls and gets knocked unconscious, that could have a horrible outcome. Or something along those lines. BF should let son know how much he loves him and that it is important that he remain in his bed where he is safe and sound. BF needs to be consistent and NOT give in at any stage. It will take a while to retrain son, however, I believe the results will be favorable for everyone. Good luck. ↑ |
| Name: mari007 | Date: Oct 15th, 2006 3:07 PM |
| From: Mari Johnson Email Address: [email protected] Peace be with you, My name is Mrs. Mari Johnson., a nationality of Morocco . I am married to late Mr.david johnson who worked with Moroco embassy in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in the year Octorber 2003. We were married for twenty years with a child. He died after a the illness that lasted for long four days. Before his death we were both born again Christians. When my late husband was alive we deposited the sum of ($9.5 Million U.S. Dollars) with one of good security company here in Cote d'Ivoire. Presently, this money is still with the security company. Recently my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months due to my cancer problem. Though what disturbs me most is my stroke. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to church or better still a Christian individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here in. I want a person or church that will use this fund to churches, orphanages, research centres and widows propagating the word of God and to ensure that the house of God is maintained. The Bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I have a child that will inherit this money but my son can not carryout this work only because i and my late husband decide to use some of the money to work for God and live some for our son to have a better live.our son is just 17yearold now and been grow up in africa, he have low manterity and my husbandīs relatives are not Christians and I donīt want my family hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers. I donīt want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner. Hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going to. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I want your telephone communication in this transaction because of my health because of the presence of my family relatives around me always .call me or my son his name is kevin johnson, I donīt want any of my husband family relatives to recieve this money. With God all things are possible.As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Finance/company. I will also issue you a letter of authority that will empower you as the new beneficiary of this fund. I want you and the church to always pray for me because the lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I live a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life. Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing for a church or Christian individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated here. Expecting to hearing from you Remain blessed. email: [email protected] Mrs Mari Johnson ↑ |
