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Name: luvmykids
[ Original Post ]
Please help, im not sure what I can do about this. I have my children everyother weekend and every other thursday and monday, I pay my child support on time and in full every single week without fail, and now my wife is taking my kids and moving out of state to be with her boyfriend. She is trying to be sly about it, but my kids told me about the new big event in there lives. I ache everyday to have custody of my kids, but at the time that my wife left she took everything including cleaning out the bank accounts and i had no money for a lawyer. I don't know what to do and I was hoping that some of you might have some advice for me. thank you to all!!
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Name: pattyl | Date: Apr 17th, 2007 7:28 PM
Do you have divorce papers? What do the papers say? Do the papers say that you are to have the children every other weekend and every other Thursday and Monday? You need to see an attorney immediately. They will give you the first consultation free. 

Name: Lizzi | Date: Apr 17th, 2007 7:28 PM
First off I don't think she can take them out of state without YOUR permission.
Also,my mom works with someone in this same situation only SHE is the one moving out of state and guess what? She told my mom that the judge said that because SHE is the one choosing to move then SHE is also the one fully responsible for bringing the child back to this state for the fathers visitations and that the father doesn't even have to meet her anywhere if he doesn't want to! Meaning she would have to drive ALL THE WAY to the fathers house and then double back AGAIN to pick the child up when visitation time was over because she's the one who chose to move so far away!
You NEED to get into court........ASAP!!!!!!!!!!! 

Name: luvmykids | Date: Apr 17th, 2007 10:23 PM
thanks for the advice ladies. I found my divorce papers and it does say that she has to give 60 days notice of any decision like that, and that it has to be a joint decision. It obviously isn;t and she told me tonight when i finally asked about it that she has already enrolled the kids in school and everything, and she did that before I ever knew she was moving. She is being very sneaky, and all i want is my kids!!!!! 

Name: Dawn C. | Date: Apr 18th, 2007 3:49 AM
If the papers say it must be a joint decision then you are safe. Someone I know tried that and the judge told her fine YOU move out of state but the kids stay here. She can take you back to court for a revision but make sure you have proof that she already enrolled the kids in school etc. Judges do not take kindly to people who ignore their rulings.

Good luck! 

Name: pattyl | Date: Apr 18th, 2007 6:08 AM
Tell the X that she can go, but she needs to leave the kds with you. Tell her if she tries anything, which of course she is, that you will see her in court. The fact that she is trying to move out of state to be with a boyfriend does not look good for her. What is going to happen to your kds when they get to where they are going and the BF dumps her? You've got a good case so BUCK UP and don't let her get away with this. 

Name: luvmykids | Date: Apr 18th, 2007 1:16 PM
thankyou all very much...you have given me hope! Do any of you know if there are any programs out there that can help with legal and lawyer fees? My ex is driving around a brand new land rover, and i cant even afford a lawyer after all the child support i pay as well as all the prescription fees she keeps making me pay because she says that she cant afford them, and im not letting my kids go without there medicine. Also does anyone know how Flexpay works through blue cross and blue shield. She is paying with a flexpay card so there is no money out of her pocket, then she is charging me the amounts. the last one cost me 140.00. thanks again 


Name: pattyl | Date: Apr 18th, 2007 1:40 PM
luvmykids, Are you telling me that you are allowing her to double dip? She is getting the prescriptions free and then you are turning around and paying for it. We need to do some research and see what kind of scam she is pulling on you.
As far as the attorney I can't answer that, but get a free consultation. 

Name: pattyl | Date: Apr 18th, 2007 1:48 PM
http://www.uah.edu/admin/HR/FSA%20P
referred_Flex_Card.pdf

According
to this, the account is one that she is putting money into through her employer and then can draw out of it as needed for medical. Do the papers say that you are to pay for medical or does it say that you are to pay for half or none? The reimbursement that you make should be in the papers. 

Name: Paul | Date: Sep 14th, 2007 7:45 PM
I am in the same boat as of now, it has been six weeks and I have not seen my boys. They are 1800 miles away. I have a lawyer and I will keep you posted. 

Name: autumn_leaves | Date: Oct 11th, 2007 1:19 PM
If she takes those children out of your state, it is considered kidnapping and you need to attain an attorney. I'm not sure if the police can get involved here or not. My cousin Jim just went thru this with his wife (they were in the process of divorce) she left the state and took the kids. They told her if she didn't have the kids back in 48 hours she would be under arrest for kidnapping and go to jail. He would also be given full custody of the children. Get a letter in writing with a copy for you and her, stating you do not give permission for your children to be taken out of state. She's been warned, let her hang herself. But you really do need to obtain an attorney asap, so he can handle things legally. 

Name: autumn_leaves | Date: Oct 11th, 2007 1:22 PM
I forgot to tell u, if she has reimbursement insurance and charging you for costs already covered, this is insurance fraud. Report it. There are places that can help u with obtaining attorneys. Here in PA, it is called Legal Aid. There are also lawyers who do pro bono cases, which is cases for free. 

Name: brenda71 | Date: Oct 11th, 2007 9:42 PM
my cousin is going through this problem now. he was told the mom is allowd to move out of state with the kids as long as she gets them back here for all visits 

Name: brenda71 | Date: Oct 11th, 2007 9:43 PM
if one has sole custody they can move out of state with the kids 

Name: autumn_leaves | Date: Oct 13th, 2007 5:14 PM
She doens't have sole custody if he has visitation. They have joint custody I believe. 

Name: brenda71 | Date: Oct 15th, 2007 8:35 PM
I AM A PARALEGAL AND VISITATION IS NOT JOINT CUSTODY 

Name: GRANDMA YAS | Date: Oct 26th, 2007 10:16 AM
GET AN ATTORNEY ASAP THIS HAS HAPPENED ALSO TO MY SON. DO NOT LET HER GET RESIDENCE THERE. CHILDREN HOME STATE IS JURISDITION. RESIDENCY IS 6 MONTHS 

Name: Merry | Date: Oct 28th, 2007 1:19 PM
My husband is in the same boat. Unfortuntely when they divorsed they did themselves so there was no real custody or guildlines noted. His X took the kids about 6 years ago out of state and my husbad did not fight it because it was work related and she said she would pay to bring the boys back and forth, well we all know how that went. We struggled paying support and trying to fly them back and forth from NY to NC. Needless to say my husband and the boys lost touch, they never returned his calls and she tells everyone that my husband is a dead beat and doesn't care about his boys. Which we went through child support reinforcement so she would never say he did not pay his support. Well they came back a few years ago. Well now she is moving again. In the mean time the support went up but we did get an attorney this time around to make sure everything looked right. But she was had to leave the house she was renting and now we don't know where the boys are, we have to call her cell phone to talk to the boys and we usually don't get a call back , my husband just trys until we find them. He asks where are you and they can't tell or don't tell him. We were just informed that they are going back to NY this Wednesday to Saturday to go look at the school they will be going to, where they will be living. Which we had no idea or has she called and told my husband anything. I did call the attorney this AM and asked her to call me in the morning to see what we can do. I know how you feel about the money. We don't mind paying support, but its hard to understand how she did live in a $700,000 home drive a new car but doens't work. When the support went up the courts show she is unemployeed but should be able to may $2000 a month. But tell me how you can afford all that on $2000 a month, and she is single. Any thoughts.... 

Name: robert | Date: Dec 19th, 2007 5:39 PM
file an enjuiction so she can;t leave try at the court house and ask they tell you 

Name: n | Date: Jan 12th, 2008 11:46 AM
my husband is abusive to me, i am a homemaker wanting a fresh start with my kids. my girlfriend says i can come and live with her in another state. is it legal for me to leave with his son. i plan to come back once i get on my feet because i don't want to keep him from his son. 

Name: letesha | Date: Feb 1st, 2008 11:43 AM
i am 14 year old 

Name: scott | Date: Mar 31st, 2008 11:30 AM
me and my exwife live in ohio i get my kids every other weekend my ex is saying she wants to move out of state because she dont like it here anymore she thinks she makes all the rules becaues my kids live with her can some one help me 

Name: Malena | Date: Apr 28th, 2008 10:24 AM
You don't always need a lawyer. In fact, an estimated 80% of child support cases are handled by parents without lawyers. Child custody cases seldom end after the first hearing so many parents opt to self represent. I recommend a paralegal to help you file the appropriate papers. I've learned so much in doing this on my own, I'm actually considering becoming a paralegal myself. In any case, I know that if you share legal custody, you can go to court and file a Motion, a change, to the original ruling indicating that she cannot leave the state without your consent. If you feel threatened, and she has indeed registered the kids in school, you can file and Ex-Parte. You will be heard from the judge. In this case, it is most likely that she will in fact order a temporary restraining order keeping her from taking the kids out of state under "threat of abduction." A hearing date will also be set allowing her and yourself a chance to be heard. Don't feel threatened if she shows up with a lawyer. I've noticed that Judges will make sure the non-represented parent understand all the that happens in the courtroom. They make sure you know your rights. I'm curtently trying to find out if it is legal to leave the state without the kids and have someone else watch them, without telling the other legal parent. My little boy is three years old and has never been without either parent for more than one night. I am the primary care giver. He left the state and left my boy with someone else. I didn't know where my kid was. When I found out, I wanted to go get him but they told me they wouldn't let me have him until my time with him began. I was so upset. That is my son. We share Legal custody. I assume if the other parent leaves the state, I have the right to have my child regardless of our visitation agreement. Anybody know anything about this? 

Name: joy2 | Date: Apr 28th, 2008 10:46 AM
If u can't afford an attorney call legal aide. You have rights to and hopefully can do something about it. In my divorce papers its stated that noone can move more than 100 miles from where we live with the kids. Call and speak to an attorney...they usually do 1st consultations free...i wish u luck 

Name: alie | Date: Jun 2nd, 2008 1:24 PM
i have a child by a married man and i want to lkeave the state can i do so 

Name: mom25 | Date: Jun 2nd, 2008 2:51 PM
alie,

Do you have any legal papers? Does the dad see your child? How far are you talking? 

Name: Nissie | Date: Jun 30th, 2008 11:37 PM
I just went thru this, She can't just move, Do you know that she needs to get a petion for relocation. Try legal aid maybe they can help you also. 

Name: caring | Date: Jul 24th, 2008 2:21 PM
I have full custody of my kids, the father has no involvement in their lives but I still have to get permission from the court to move out of state with my children cause otherwise I can be sent to jail cause without the fathers consent it is considered kidnapping. 

Name: lisasing | Date: Jul 24th, 2008 9:32 PM
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Name: tom | Date: Jul 30th, 2008 10:53 PM
I need some advice my ex wants to leave the state with myson she hasnt give me any papers from the court w.my permission 

Name: depstar@aol.com | Date: Aug 29th, 2008 4:36 PM
go file a motion in family court to see a judge. u don't need a lawyer and tell the judge the situation and if she can move........then pack your bags and rent a place down the block........no matter what you'll be with them.....no matter what......make up your mind and that's it..... 

Name: marie | Date: Sep 15th, 2008 8:27 PM
my husband and i are having a baby does his child support change? 

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