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Name: Thankful | Date: Sep 29th, 2007 6:37 AM
I just want to tell all of you ladies thank you. I just finished my husband weekly visitation and was needing some relief. I an happy to know that I am not alone and I can create life at the end of the tunnel. I just found out about my husband child al about 5 months ago. I was crush. we have been together for 10 years keep in mind that I am only 25. Actually married for 31/2 years @ the time. I push him toy get everything done dna, court dates, you name it I made sure I had all the needed information. I had planned on leaving him but after he attempted to kill himself I told him he was being a coward and that I was willing to try harder to work if out if he would be able to handle the situation like a man. His son has been at least 1 a week for the past month. We have three beautiful children together and I made it very clear to my husband that if he ever ran from his resposibilities and a father to my or the other womens child that we will surly be over, for I can not respect or love any man that does not care for his children. My husband has dedicated his life so far to treating Me like royalties I told this is what I expect for the rest of my life. I take everything one day at a time and put it in the lords hands. so god bless and again THANK YOU. 

Name: MadAsHell | Date: Oct 3rd, 2007 7:48 PM
my husband had a baby with a younger girl, i want a divorce. We have a child together 2yrs old. Will the judge give me the house and the grant me sole custody. We live in TX. 

Name: thankful | Date: Oct 5th, 2007 7:08 AM
If your name is on the deed of the house it usually goes to the person with the kids. I believe. Good luck with your situation. 

Name: autumn_leaves | Date: Oct 11th, 2007 4:11 PM
I think you are doing the right thing. You husband has done the unthinkable, and tho it's not the baby's fault, and he should be in her life, he's had this affair and he has to face the consequences. It's hard to see something end you've put your life into, but this will never go away, and you'll never be able to trust him again. He has done a very selfish and hurtful thing to you, and you deserve to respect yourself and move on. I know it will hurt your daughter, but it will hurt her more to see her mother go thru years of hurt, depression, frustration, anger and distrust, not to mention the fact that he will always have the 'other' woman in his life because of his child. If you can move past it and forget, I commend you, it's not something I could ever handle. HUGGG, so sorry for you, my heart goes out for you and your daughter. 

Name: ESP | Date: Oct 26th, 2007 12:25 PM
Hi. I found out my husband had been having affairs throughout our marriage. I have a 23 year old and a 16 month old. I like you allowed him back in only to be hurt again 12 months down the line. My love for him made it possible for him to hurt my 23 year old as she believed his false assurances. I love mine too too but I hate what he has done to our girls lives. Ask youself the question I did is he now using the child as an excuse to retain contact with his mistress. This is most certainly my experience. Fundamentally I came to the conclusion that mine at any rate cares more for himself than he does for anyone. 

Name: unknown | Date: Nov 11th, 2007 11:34 AM
Well.. I know this is going to be hard to accept, but first I say realize that we all are human and no one is perfect.. your husband made a mistake and asked for you to forgive him... now, yes another child was born out of his mistake...The child is innocent and deserves a father just like your own child... Now Im not saying that u have to accept the child into your home because in my situation I did not!! and my children will not be raised with that child I refuse to allow such of a sinful situation into my home... now in reality that child has nothing to do with you and that is what you have to realize, so why waste your time and energy worrying about something that is not yours to worry about...Trust me I know how you feel... but if your husband wants to make things work with you then I say go for it. .. unless he is still having a sexual relationship with the other woman... then, I would say your doing right contact a lawyer to see what all you are entitled to but I say before starting the divorce proceedings.. try seperating for a while... sometimes seperating will give you that space to think things out as to what is really best for your family..... Always think about you, your child , and the best interest of your family...... until your ready to deal with that other child... you make them nonexistant to you.... see in my situation... my husband had another child and to me the child nor the other woman existed to me but when I started finding clues that he's still having a sexual relationship with the other woman then he aslo became non existant to me as well and now the only things that do exist is my 1500.00 dollar child support check and my 1200.00 alimony check...I tell you this your husband will regret if you leave him.. Huh I know mines do lol.... 


Name: Allie | Date: Nov 14th, 2007 6:50 PM
I can only imagen how heart breaking it is for you, but as an 18 yr old girl whos parents divorced over cheating. theres really not much you can do. Just say its best for you, and that you both still love her. Nothing has changed for her, just between you too. I also am the other women in a relationship. So I understand why your husband was sneaking to see his child. He doesn't want to hurt you, yet he doesn't know what he wants. Its not an easy situation. He wants someone to make the decision for him. You've done that. 

Name: tan | Date: Oct 15th, 2008 5:35 PM
The child is not the blame he/she did not ask to be here, so why should you take his/her father way from them thats wrong. If you don't agree for the go to the other lady house, then let him bring the child home to spent the time. 

Name: aiden | Date: Oct 19th, 2008 3:22 AM
cut your ties momma. your job is done. let him deal with the baby momma drama for the next 16 years.there are men out there who dont cheat. and im sure youre a beautiful woman. good luck 

Name: wishIhadendedit | Date: Oct 30th, 2008 4:32 PM
Ok. I just have to reply here. My husband and I had been together 10 years when he cheated on me with a mutual friend and got her pregnant. I was devastated. Unless you've gone through this situation, you could really never understand how painful it is.

I understand wanting the baby to be able to see both parents but I will let you know from experience that it doesn't work. Having a child together is a strong bond. What ends up happening is that your husband is also going to see the mother when he sees that child so his relationship with the other woman will never really end. It will be like he has two families and that child will be a constant reminder of your husband's betrayal. This is not a one night stand but someone who is going to be a part of your life forever. If seeing the child is too painful for you and you decide to let him see the child without you, you better worry because you basically gave him the ok to see the other woman and I will bet money that they will sleep together again. Can you live with that?

My husband and I have remained married and his daughter is now 21 years old. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish I had left the relationship when I first found out about his affair. It's a no win situation. Do yourself a favor and GET OUT!!!!!!

The pain that my husband's indiscretion has caused me is unbearable even all these years later. I honestly feel that the only person who paid for their mistake was me. 

Name: I have been there | Date: May 20th, 2009 5:03 AM
this man is not a "daddy" he is a lying adulterer! Come on... What child needs a cheating lying jerk as their "daddy"? Having selfish unprotected sex with a woman who wanted to ruin a family makes both these people just sick, not parents. Any idiot can have a baby any man can get a woman pregnant. If he hurt to say away from the child... He would have hurt when he wilfully and purposely destroyed he family!
all this man will teach this 2 year old is cheating and lying are okay! 

Name: lisa | Date: Jun 5th, 2009 12:39 AM
after 10 years of marriage i found out my husband was having an affair he said it was over but it was not about 5 months ago i found out he has a daughter with her it hurts so much because i feel i cant go on any more my kids is really affected by this he saidthat the affair ended 2 years ago but i dont brlieve hin i ask him to get a paternity test and he refuse. i love him very much but today i decided that it was over the child i saw recently looks exactly like the mother and it reminds me of everything bad in my life. he visits the child and supports her but i still believe he is still with her and after 6 years of emotional tourment i decide to ste myself free its very hard but i desserve better than this looser i dont know where and how i sill strart but by admitting it to myself i believe its the first steep to heaal my broken heart to all those woman who is going through this if we stay we are just letting those men to walk all over us 

Name: jayla UGLY | Date: Jun 15th, 2009 3:37 AM
i KNOW 

Name: lisa | Date: Jun 23rd, 2009 11:03 PM
Hi soontobedivorced
I am going through a similar situation. I have been married for going on 20 years and my husband had an affair while he was working out of town. He spent the weekdays out of town and came home on weekends for about 5 months. During that time, he met a woman 13 years younger and had an affair. He didn't tell her he was married, but that he was divorced and that he had children with his ex wife. I found out about it and confronted him. I even told the OW that he was married and what he had done. He promised it was over and that he would never see her again. Too late, she was pregnant. I did not find out about the pregnancy til 2 weeks before the child was born. He said he didn't know how to tell me and he didn't tell her because he "didn't want to upset her while she was pregnant". Regardless he wanted to work on our marriage. She had the baby and I agreed to let him see the baby every other weekend. That was until I read a text message on his cell phone where she ended it with "I love you". That was all I could take and I told him that if he wanted our marriage then either I was in on the visitations or she was out of them. He agreed and we are now in the process of petitioning the court for joint custody of the child. It hurts very much, and I know that our children from our marriage are having a hard time with this, but if we want our family to stay together, we can share this child with her. I just will not have her be a part of my husbands life, outside of being the child's mother. That is the only way I can do this. It has taken everything I can give to keep from losing it. I know it is not the child's fault, he didn't ask for this, but until you have been in this situation, I don't think you have the right to give advise. The healing you need to do from just the affair is unbearable and then add a child to it. the cheated on party is just as much of a victim as the child and should be treated as such. 

Name: emotional prisoner | Date: Aug 20th, 2009 2:56 AM
Recently i have been contiplating leaving my husband he has a child outside of our marriage. This has been a truley terrible ordeal for me we began dating and some months into our relationship his ex girlfriend pops back into the picture talking about she is pregnant. My husband is a great man and that is why i married him, everything would be so much closer to perfect if this obstical was not in our way. as you know it though obviously a baby does not go away. I dont enjoy the concept of a mixed family i come from one and it is constant drama all the time trying to please my step sister. I feel that retreaing from the marriage i am in alot easier because i feel like i will never be comfortable in the is situation. i am young, educated , as wellas very attractive and i feel that i could pick up the pieces and begin a new life and eventually meet a partner that has no children and comes with such haevy baggade, but am i being selfish. I have grown up in a religios house hold where you are taught to go through better or worse, but what if the worst weighs out the good do i still stay. Please i am begging anyone with some advice like I said I love my husband dearly, but I also feel that love does not mean having to be with somene. 

Name: iknowyourpain | Date: Sep 22nd, 2009 7:42 PM
Lisa -- you are right, it's hard and folks are not in a position to give advise. The child is innocent, and I did similiar to what you did. Folks don't understand but it's really hard until you actually walked that walk. Everybody is/was affected, mostly myself because I'm the one making up for things there father can't afford to purchase or do for the family anymore since this situation has happened -- the biggest mess in my household, and my husband, there father has the nerves to be upset and angry with me because all I do and don't do these days. CRAZY, CRAZY, CRAZY! 

Name: angelface | Date: Feb 8th, 2010 3:34 AM
I am going through something similar to your problem. My husband and I have been together 14 years and we have 3 children together. He has a child by another woman and I found out about 6 months ago. Believe me when I tell you that it's bringing me down. I am a total wreck. It's on my mind all day. I feel like you in many ways. When I first found out about this my immediate response was to divorce him but he fought for this marriage 100%. He said that this was a mistake he made and that he was so sorry and he'd do everything he can to save our marriage. I saw that he really wanted this marriage so I stayed with him. It's so hard to forgive and move on in a situation like this and it's easy for someone to say that the child is innocent and we should just deal with it. And it's even harder because he told me that 3 children was enough and I got my tubes tied. If you haven't been through it then you really don't know how we feel. It's a hurt like no other and it feels like you're in this big world ALONE! I go to bed with it on my mind and I wake up with it on my mind and I've also lost 17 pounds because of this. We are going to counseling now and it is helping. We're focusing on our marriage now before we do anything else. The child's mom is a problem and that makes it harder to move on. I want to be with him because I am happier with him than I am without him and I have faith that God will give me the strength and that we will have a good marriage again. It's not going to be easy but I'm not going to give up because I love my husband. Pray! Pray! Pray! 

Name: Been There | Date: Aug 15th, 2010 5:26 AM
This is not to offend anyone and is my opinion based on my own experience....Reading the posts has me a bit upset at how other women think! Why ask the betrayed woman what she may have done to cause it? In many cases it is simple, a younger body to an aging man is a stroke of ego and holding on to their youth. Encourage a relationship with the child? It is true the child is not at fault....but I came from a broken home...if I had 1 good parent I would have traded the 2 for what I have had to live through and the abuse I took throughout my life as a result of it ...and personally I believe you can not separate the child from the intimate sexual relationship with the mother or the unhealthy behaviour it teaches having another womans husband play part time daddy. My husband had an affair with a younger woman, got her pregnant, gave me VD...BUT I did what a lot of you suggest, for the best interest of the child, I supported that he buy her a house, gave her money while what we had worked for was at risk of being lost. In my situation the woman knew he was married, second child from a married man, didn't mind, called and text him when he came home emails etc...NONE of the contact was ever about the child it was about her own body for him and waiting for him...this was after I had extended forgiveness and ask to see the child...she would not allow me...guess why...she looses control. It is fine to say I would do this or that but believe me when in the situation you can shock yourself at how you react. Jealousy was never something I felt...but I had so much hurt and anger. Forgiveness is a gift to me...when I forgive them I can have peace inside. This I found hard as every time I forgave, something else would happen. I am not here to judge you on the way you react to the betrayal. Your post was in 2006 so I hope you are at peace and life has settled. I can not offer you advise because every situation has different circumstances soontobedivorced but I want to say I feel so much compassion for you and have cried when I read your post. I am still married after 5 years but it has been work in progress as both of us did not want our marriage to end. I send you all the love there is in the world and my very best thoughts are with you. 

Name: heartbroken | Date: Nov 12th, 2010 1:10 AM
Hi everyone. I found this chat in a google search I did hoping to find some type of support group as I am a new step mom to the child my husband had with another woman. It's been about 3 months since the last post, so I hope someone will respond. I'm a very strong person and have survived much pain. I thought I was doing okay, but now I feel like this pain may be too much for my already broken heart to bare. Is there anyone out there who knows of a support system/group for women who are living with this heartache? Please......I am desparate 

Name: angelface | Date: Jan 28th, 2011 1:54 AM
This is intended for heartbroken. Look, the pain isn't going to go away over night. I still have my moments where I cry and ask why did this happen to me. I gained a very close relationship which God, that's something every marriage needs (husband and wife). I can remember the days and nights I lay in my bed crying my eyes out and asking God to help me get through this and find peace. It seemed as if the pain was going to last forever and that I was the only one in the world hurting this bad. It has been almost two years now since I've been going through this and there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about it. But, everyday is getting better and better by God's grace. I never thought I wouldv'e been with my husband after what he has done to me. The phrase is true, "Never say never". The changes that God has made in my life and in my marriage are unbelievable. My husband has changed in ways that I never thought. He loves church just as much as I do and we go to church faithfully every Sunday. We fought too hard for this marriage to turn around now. There are ups and downs but because we love each other so much and have so much faith in God, things always end up working out and the marriage is getting stronger and stronger. I have been through the storm and the rain and sometimes I even call it a hurricane. I've told myself over and over again that I couldn't do it and that I wanted a divorce, but my heart was telling me that I loved my husband and that I wanted to make this work. Please don't give up. If your husband is sincere and really wants the marriage, then hang in there and go to God for peace. I prayed and prayed and prayed and God brought peace to my heart. I still have a long way to go but I have my faith and I'm going to be alright and so is my family. And we're going to be together. We also had some counceling with our Pastor and that helped us tremendously. Hang in there and I promise you, if God is involved, you are gonna make it. God bless! 

Name: Chen | Date: Feb 1st, 2011 2:18 PM
The love child has done nothing to merit the situation of its birth, it is the fault of her parents. Therefore, it is unfair for the child to be left out, however neither you or your daughter have done anything to bring about this situation and therefore it is not fair to you both that you have to share your husband/father with a child that has been conceived by another woman in the duration of your/your parent's marriage. My suggestion is that you present a good example to your daughter and divorce your husband (do not do anything however to prevent him from seeing his love child because that will soon be the only child he will have) but make it clear to your husband and daughter that he is no longer welcome in your life and hers and it is your wish that you and your daughter have no contact with the love child (expect a meeting for curiosity's sake) and minimal/no contact with the unfaithful spouse. That is the proper solution to the problem that is fair to both sides. This should have been done when you first discover this unwelcome situation. 

Name: hey22 | Date: Feb 4th, 2011 2:34 PM
I too have this similair situation. Married to husband for 6 years husband cheated and has baby with another woman. This situatiion is painful. I ask God to show me in his word what should I do. I was reading and this is what was given to me. Genesis 21:9-12 (NIV) But Sarah saw that the son whom Hagar the Egyptian had borne to Abraham was mocking, 10 and she said to Abraham, “Get rid of that slave woman and her son, for that woman’s son will never share in the inheritance with my son Isaac.”

11 The matter distressed Abraham greatly because it concerned his son. 12 But God said to him, “Do not be so distressed about the boy and your slave woman. Listen to whatever Sarah tells you, because it is through Isaac that your offspring[a] will be reckoned. Also in Galatians 4:30 (NIV) But what does Scripture say? “Get rid of the slave woman and her son, for the slave woman’s son will never share in the inheritance with the free woman’s son.
Marriage is a covenant between you and your spouse. what our husbands have done to the marriage is sin. We have the option to divorce or reconcile. God is a forgiving God and he will forgive our husbands if they ask. But there is consequences to sin. All of us having been through this situation we do not have to share our husbands with the other woman and her child/ children. Because like the scripture states the child will never be heir.

I also would like to share how God operates so you all can have better understanding of were I am coming from when i say there is consequences of sin.

Example. God tells us in the bible right from wrong constanly. We still don't listen and do what we want anyway. Just like a parent telling there child don't touch that stove and when the parent is not looking the touch it anyway and start crying Momma or Daddy. As parents we would hug that child and tell them did I not tell you not to touch that stove as we are hugging,rising the burnt hand off and wrapping it with guaze. The child feels better cause we forgave them and cared for them but the child will still feel the sting from the burn. This is how God is with us we cry out to him when we have done wrong and he will forgive us. God won't take you out the situation he will be right beside you walking with you threw it. I hope i explained that to were everyone understands. Choice is yours. I just shared what God gave to me. I told my husband the other woman and her child get no face time at all. Child support he must pay. Hope this helps somebody. 

Name: angelface | Date: Feb 4th, 2011 4:14 PM
Hello hey22. After all this happened, my husband and were counseled by our Pastor and his wife. Pastor pulled up the same scripture in the bible and we all read it together. My husband isn't paying any attention to that. He says that he wants to be in the child's life and he's going to be in the child's life. Things are constantly going wrong in our marriage but I'm constantly praying for them to get better. I haven't given up and I promised God that I wouldn't give up. I even try to encourage others not to give up because their marriage is worth fighting for. My husband seems to be having and even harder time than I am in this marriage. Through God I have found much peace and things that use to bother me does'nt bother me as much. I want to find peace with this. This is something that wont go away but we should be able to find peace and if our husbands wanted peace in their marriage, they would do what they have to do to make peace and to make sure their wife is happy and comfortable with the dicisions that they make together. I wil continue to do what I'm doing and let God will do the rest. When I read what you wrote I got a feeling inside that touched me because I knew that I did get the right understanding of the scripture. Thank you because you have helped me to understand it even better. 

Name: hey22 | Date: Feb 4th, 2011 7:32 PM
Angelface, I am glad I was able to help. Have you every read Stormie Omartian Power of a Prayin Wife ? If not that is a book full of prayers for your husband. I personally have prayed these prayers over my husband. In this situation I have learned to set boundaries with him although I forgive him. I use to think what could I have done to make him do this and what could i have done different. You proably heard women say if he is not getting taken care of at home then he will find some one that will. God revealed this to me. It was not me the sin started in his mind. Your thoughts become your actions your actions become habits your habits become your character. I said that to say this you can do cart wheels in the bedroom, cook dinner, take care of the kids, work and do laundry etc etc. The lust/ sin was in his mind. Our husbands were selfish. Also sin seperates us from the love of God. And also remember your husband is a free moral agent and if he wants to reject God he still will be accountable for his actions. I do believe what is impossible with man is possible with God. Did your husband use to believe ? and claim Jesus was his Lord and savior ? Mind did and he still cheated. That is what made it so bad for me to deal with. Until I Fasted and Prayed and ask God to deliver my husband from his selfish ways and for him to give me strength. God has done just that given me strength and delivered my husband. We are working on our marriage and I shared the scriptures with him and I let him know just how I felt and I was not playing games. If it does not line up with God's word it's not going to work. I will be praying for you and your marriage. God Bless 

Name: Socalledmistress | Date: Feb 9th, 2011 11:00 PM
my ex partner never told me he had a wife. And told me he could not have any children. 2/9 years I fell pregnant. Had a beautiful child now 7 yrs old.

Later i discovered he had a wife! while still sleeping with me.

I drove around to his house, I was going to tell his wife but I could not bring myself to tell her. She asked who I was I could't tell her all I could say this is confidental.

Don't have a dig at the mother and child. Because did she really know the truth?

Also I could blame not only the ex (husband ) but the wife too cause if they did't have issue/s would I and my child be caught up in this mess??? 

Name: Tori | Date: May 19th, 2011 2:20 AM
I don't know where to begin. My husband cheated on me in 2006 with his ex. I didn't find out about it until August 2007, when I got a court order in the mail for a paternity test. I was devestated. During this time I was pregnant and my husbands ex was such a wicked B****. She would make comments like, "I should be happy for her because I won't be able to have a daughter." She also relayed that she purposely got pregnant to repay my husband for what he had done to her when they were dating and to collect child support, b/c she thought my husband had money at the time. She also continued to send my husband sexually explicit text messages. This woman obviously had a child for secondary gain. I don't feel like my husband should be involved in their lives, b/c it's like a game to her, she enjoys the thril of being with a married man and seeing if she can continue to tempt him into cheating again. I feel like being involved in the childs life serves as a constant reminder of my husbands affair, and that is so unfair to me and my children, not to mention the financial resources that are being stolen from my family. I now have three kids with my husband, and when I was pregnant with my third child, I found out that my husband had another child with a different ex. This ex said that she thought that if she had his child, he would leave me and be with her. I feel so trapped, with three kids, I don't think I have any feeling for my husband anymore, I don't know how I could. I'm not in a financial situation to where I can leave, especially with three kids. I feel so betrayed. I feel like I'm living an unbelievable nightmare. 

Name: angelface | Date: May 20th, 2011 10:38 PM
hey22- I love to read everything that you write and it touches my heart. I thank you for praying for me because my marriage needs all the prayer it can get. I haven't read the book Stormie Omartian Power of a prayin wife but I will get it this weekend. He hasn't been agrrevating me much about this child but he said the other day that he needs to spend time with the child because he hasn't seen the child in months. I'm still very disappointed in him and anything he says about that child brings my spirits down and I have to go to God for strength. It's so very hard for me because he was having an affair with this woman for a while and they were at his mother's house hanging out all the time while the kids and I were at home not knowing what was going on. His mother lives about a half an hour from us. His mother was also bragging about the baby one Mother's Day and showing the baby off to other relatives. That's how I found out. My husband's aunt called me at work one day and told me what was going on and that it had been going on for a while. He lied to me about the child for about two months but I just had this feeling that he was lying and I kept at him about it. His friend told him that if it were true he needed to go ahead and tell me so that the healing process could start. So he did and that was the worse moment of my life. That's not it though, he also put the child in his last name. That's right, he's a married man and he put his outside child in his name. He says he did it because if anything happened to him the child would be taken care of. I'm not going to lie, many days and nights I called myself a fool for staying with a man after he's done these horrible things to me, but I do love my husband very much and I want to keep my family together. I'm going to keep praying for this marriage and I'll pray constantly for my husband and for God to give me strength. He wasn't in church before all of this but now he goes faithfully every Sunday along with us. We have a long way to go. Please keep us in your prayers and I'll let you know when I've completed the book. God bless! 

Name: angelface | Date: May 20th, 2011 10:52 PM
Tori- Trust me I can relate to how you are feeling. I still wish I could wake up from this nightmare. The child's mother in this situation is trouble too but God will take care of that. She called here and told my husband that she needed him to keep the child for the weekend. He knew that it wasn't going to happen here so he told her that he would ask his mother to keep the child and his mother was ready to do it of course. I got along with his mother just fine and it hurts because I would have ever thought she would do something like that. He knew that it wasn't acceptable but he didn't have the courage to tell the woman. I figured if she called once and asked him to babysit she'd call again so I asked him to tell the woman what the deal was about respecting my house. He didn't want to tell her so he told me that I could tell her if I wanted to and the next day I did. She was very upset about it and she texted me all day long with things her and my husband had done together and how he was both our husbands. She also called him and told him that I had pissed her off so if he wanted to come have sex with her that he could. That let me know what kind of woman she was. I prayed for her because she needs help. My sympathy goes out to anyone that has to go through this because I wouldn't wish pain like that on anyone. I'll pray for us all but you hang in there and believe God will heal your heart and give you much peace. It's hard but nothing if too hard for God. Believe that. 

Name: Rusty | Date: Jun 7th, 2011 10:47 AM
I am more or less in the same boat. my husband had a 7 month affair last year and she trapped him into getting preganant. We got back together at the end of last year but she keeps emailing and texting him which i find annoying, the baby is now a couple of weeks old and i am sure he wants to see it but i have decided that i don't want him to. i am going to tell him that he has to cut all ties with her and the baby and concentrate on me and our daughter, surely he will do that if he wants to keep me. I am going through and seeing a counsellor on Thursday to help me get through this but I need closure from it all and the only way to do that is for him to tell her that whe wants nothing to do with her or the baby. He says its not the babys fault but then again its not mine. He does not love or want to be with her otherwise he would be there now. I do trust him but i do wonder if he would see the baby behind my back as it knows it would upset me and he says that he will tell me what i need to know as does not want to cause friction between us. He works away through the week and home at the weekends. Sometimes i wonder whether it would be best to leave him and start again but i love him, i just can't deal with the fact that he would want to see the baby when he has not wanted another baby at all. I feel its hypocrytical of him to be involved with the baby when he doesnt and didnt want it.x 

Name: digchild | Date: Jun 20th, 2011 1:16 PM
This is a terrible situation for you.You married your husband and had kids with him,yet he is so ungrateful towards you.Your husband's infidelity is now threatening your marriage and probably his relationship with your kids.So getting a divorce was,in my opinion,the right thing for you to do. Also you mentioned that your daughter doesn't yet fully understand the details of her father's infidelity.She is 18 years old and I am now 22 years old,so I believe you ought to let her know the details of her father's infidelity as she is old enough. 

Name: tasha | Date: Jun 15th, 2012 1:55 AM
Let me start off by saying thank you to whom ever made this chat. I thought i was the only one. My husband of 11 yrs had a baby on me two years ago. Our babies were born a month apart. I have five kids by this man and i am hurt. I am trying to get through it, he told me he loves me and it was a mistake. I lost 40 pounds i am driving myself sick, i left him and he begged me to take him back because i was killing myself. He doesnt talk to the girl about the baby or anything. is now saying she is getting married to him and she is pregnant but, she lives in california and we live in illinois. She is crazy and i am really feeling bad for the child that she cant just grow up and let us do for the child. 

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