Hello everyone. I am new in dating a divorced man with three children. We have a great relationship with him and the kids. For now we have a long distance relationship, but we are talking about the future and me eventually moving to his state. I won't rush into things I know for sure. My concernis that his ex is the one that divorced him after twenty years together. The divorce was final last year and he has moved into his new home last January and because of the kids it's about 5 minutes away from hers. He does everything for the kids (sports etc..) . He's always at her beck and call everyhtime she needs a babysitter. He hstill has a key to her house "because of the kids". When she's out of town, he walks her dog. I recently found out that she has a key to his new house. He says its for the kids and the emotional relationship with her has been over for about 10 years. I hae faced him with this situation and he says that its normal. Is this true? Please help me before I make a mistake with this man.
Also when the youngest daughter went back to her moms house, she raved about me and my boyfriend received a very nasty phone call from her. The next day he receives an email with an apology from the ex and offering to give him the kids an extra week so that they can be with me during my visit. I have treated those kids like I do my nephew and niece and without stepping over the line.
Thanks.
Dona = ↓
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| Name: aldam2 | Date: Jun 27th, 2007 6:37 PM |
| hi dona, i too divorced my husband a few years ago, I think reading your story, you have nothing to worry about, your partner will always have a bond with his ex wife because of the kids, but he has obviously moved on to be with you, Ok his ex had a wobbly because his daughter raved about you, but I personally think she was a little hurt that was all and apologised for it the next day. Speaking from experience it is still difficult to think your partner has found another person and that the kids may even like her!!! Even though youd thrown the towel in and made the dissision to end it for whatever reason. Stick with it if you love him and can get on with his kids. I have a great relationship with my exs new wife and its very beneficial to the kids. My ex and his wife often have my kids for extra days and weekends etc to help me out, and they even buy birthday and christmas presents for my 2 other kids via my new partner and I in turn buy for theirs, try to get on if you can afterall we are all adults!!! Hope this helps sarahx ↑ |
| Name: Dona | Date: Jun 27th, 2007 6:42 PM |
Hi Sarah,
Thank you for your encouragement and I'll try to be more understanding for the sake of the kids.
Have a great evening,
Dona ↑ |
| Name: sammi4560 | Date: Jul 6th, 2007 8:56 PM |
| I have been dating a guy for almost a year now. He has 3 children. 29 girl married with 2 sons, 26 yr old daughter single who had a fight with her roomate and has just moved home, 22 yr old son lives with girlfriend and they're having a baby. I'm divorced with no kids. I really like him but the daughter who has moved home has put a crimp in our relationshiip. I don't want to go to his place. No privacy. He goes to oldest daughter's 3 hrs away to daughter's and exwife comes and they all stay together. The exwife wants more contact with him related to the kids. The kids are grown. ↑ |
| Name: rbazin7689 | Date: Jul 20th, 2007 11:49 PM |
| Being a step mom I can speak from experience and say that this sounds like a field of land mines! Not saying that it's not worth it if you love him but please for your mental well being you need to have the lines drawn ahead of time. For example, the keys to the house seems a bit excessive. If this chick is already threatened by your existence, do you think it will get easier? Maybe after a long time but I think it really matters how much your man is willing to separate himself from her and back you. Don't let him wait either, the keys get out of her hands and into yours kind of thing. Otherwise you might be headed for heartache. ↑ |
| Name: Sarah | Date: Oct 11th, 2007 11:31 PM |
Dona,
I am in a similar situation. My boyfreind and I have been living together now for about six months we kinda got off to a real good start and even moved to china to teach. His ex-wife is dutch and he has three children with her too. He puts his children and his ex-wife above all else and wont even allow me to discuss anything concerning them, and I to tell you the truth have about had it....Men with excess baggage isnt just the same. I think you need to think carefully especially about moving in with someone who has children already. I think that people should be with people who are in similar situations, ie- men with kids and women with kids) that way its a mutual understanding. But for girls like us who dont have the excess wories it can be very difficult. I think that you should think carefully there are plenty of men out there who dont have the worries or problems....and the ex is not just here for a while...shes here to stay forever so you have to ask yourself if you can deal with her for the rest of your life.
Good luck
Sarah ↑ |
| Name: April_Autumn | Date: Oct 12th, 2007 12:00 AM |
| Almost all ex-wives see new ones as a threat, your invading a mother's space, having her kids talk about another woman like that stirs jealously and insecurity. It was nice for her to realize she made an ass out of herself by treating you this way and gave him an extra week with the kids. It is good they have a good relationship for the kids. I would be cautious if I were u, just take things slowly and see what your comfortable with. Know what u will accept into your life and what you won't. They have had this worked out before you came into the picture, and it's working right now. Yet, if he wants u in his life, he and she will have to make a little room for some change as long as it isnt' hurting the kids in the process. If she begins to treat you like that on a regular basis, I would advise you to find a man who will walk your dog for u instead. Good luck with everything! ↑ |
| Name: bailey | Date: Jun 29th, 2009 4:24 AM |
| this is not a reply i just want to ask a question what would you do if you liked a guy and sometimes he flirts with you but when he is around a prettier girl than i am he tottaly blows you off ↑ |
| Name: Barry | Date: Sep 9th, 2009 12:03 PM |
| My ex-wife has a new boyfriend, should I contact her? ↑ |
| Name: joy | Date: Sep 21st, 2009 9:47 AM |
| my boy friend has been cheating on me i wonder why ↑ |
| Name: joy | Date: Sep 21st, 2009 9:49 AM |
| you have'nt aswered my questoin ↑ |
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