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I was drinking and driving and totaled my car. i left cadence at home for 5 minutes to run to taco bell. the cops found out she was home alone, in the crib sleeping, and they took her. she is in a foster care and i am in the hospital. i knew the drinking would catch up with me but....shit...not like this. cuffy is down here and hopefully thursday baby will go back to WI with him while i get my shit together. please keep us in your prayers. ↓
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| Name: DRB | Date: Nov 1st, 2008 11:09 AM |
| omg whittni! i cant believe it. hope your ok. hope everything gets better ↑ |
| Name: Joeys_Mam | Date: Nov 1st, 2008 1:29 PM |
| Nightmare ... Hope you're ok and you get your baby back soon. ↑ |
| Name: mother2five | Date: Nov 1st, 2008 3:38 PM |
I know Whitti has a problem and she came here for support but I gotta say it......bash me if you like it bothers me none.
Sry Whit.......one why were you drinking at home alone with your baby?
two.....what in shits name made you think it was ok to leave home without your child?? I won't even leave my 9 yr old at home alone.......it's not ven ok if they are sleeping, did it never occur to you that you may be pulled over or get in a wreck both of which you did and she would be home alone even longer????
three....you have said on the board a few times you were drinking to much......if you knew this was getting out of control which you did as you yourself said you knew it would catch up to you,.......why did you not ask Cuffy to take her for a bit, or maybe some family, so you could gather your footing?
Enough said, I probably have said nothing that you already have not beat yourself up about already......I seriously hope you get help with this and before you think about taking Cadence back if they even let you, I hope you decline if you do not truley feel ready yet, fix you so you can be that perfect mom you set out to be hun. I am sending my thoughts your way, for your baby girl and yourself! YOu can pull through this we know you can, but FIX IT!!!!!! ↑ |
| Name: ..RoSey.. | Date: Nov 1st, 2008 4:46 PM |
ahh yes i was trying to refrain from this post too... yah know drink driving is a really selfish act... not only are u putting urself at risk but u are also putting OTHERS at risk on the road... not to mention poor cadence would have grown up to have no mummy if you had died.....
i wouldnt even dream of leaving izzy home alone.. not even for 2 mins !! there are so many things that can happen !!!!
Im sorry.. but i dont have sympathy for you, there are too many warnings out there about drink driving to make ANY excuse about it.
I guess it came back and bit you on the bum. ↑ |
| Name: ..RoSey.. | Date: Nov 1st, 2008 4:48 PM |
| And anyone that wants to take a bite out of me.... go for it cuz i wont be arguiing back lol. ive made my point. ↑ |
| Name: zoey9810 | Date: Nov 1st, 2008 6:23 PM |
Whittni, I'm so sorry to hear what happened! I really hope you are ok, how bad did you get hurt?? I'm happy that Cadence was not in the car with you, but you should never of been drinking home alone, and then decided to leave the house at all! How is Cuffy handling all of this, How long will she be in foster care? has Cuffy been able to take her since he got there? Did you Get a DUI??
I'm really sorry, and if you every need to talk, I'm here I love you to death, give me a call or e-mail me, zoey9810@yahoo.com (954)707-9319
Please make sure you are eating and no more drinking, it won't make the situation any better!
Please keep us up dated!
XOXOXO
you will get through this! ↑ |
| Name: Whittni | Date: Nov 1st, 2008 7:00 PM |
| I am aware to what a foolish act it was. I am just glad Cadence wasn't in the car and I am still alive. Things could have been a lot worse. I got a few broken ribs, a collapsed lung, a black eye, and 5 stitches in my left eye. Cuffy is pretty dissapointed in me and sad that i am hurt and cadence is in foster care. she will be there until thursday when we have court....then hopefully they will release her to cuffy and he will bring her back to wisconsin. I am going to try and stay here and get rides from coworkers to work and go to counceling and therapy and aa. i need to get myself better and i know that. i got wrote a tickt for dui but the polieec officer said since i was so cooperative he would ask for a plea of a few alcohol and defensive driving classes. i suppose sometimes you have to learn the heard way before you learn a lesson. unfortunatly i learned a very hard lesson and i know how wrong it was. the only thing to do now is get back on track ↑ |
| Name: zoey9810 | Date: Nov 1st, 2008 9:01 PM |
| Well, I hope you get better soon, and I hope court goes well in your's and Cuffys favor! I'm happy to see that you are going to AA and other things like that to pull your self together, are you still going to stay in Texas or are you going back with Cuffy? ↑ |
| Name: NIKKIS | Date: Nov 1st, 2008 9:42 PM |
hey whit-
um...well i don't know exactly how to say what i want to say but here goes--- rock bottom is a sucky place to be. i have been there. it was before brooke was in the picture thank god, but i was a drug addict. i am actually on probation right now for something i did under the influence of drugs. i am telling you this because i personally can't judge you. i put the life of a friend of mine at the time's daughter in danger weekly because i would drive her around high. lucky for me no one was ever killed or hurt. only myself. i am also telling you this because having come through my addiction and recovered i have learned a lot. for me without my rock bottom moment i would have never had a chance to get better and would be dead. so this may sound stange to some but be thankful for this. know that it is wrong but know that it is what is keeping you alive and what is giving you a second chance. use this moment to do a complete 360 with your life. i did. it was insanely hard. my driving force before brooke came around was to stop hurting the ones i loved and to become a strong better person that i could look in the eyes when i looked in the mirror. i do think what you did was wrong. but what i did was wrong too, learn from it. because of my probation i am not aloud to have contact with those disobeying the law so we can only talk through here now instead of emails or on the phone.
i love you and this is your second chance. learn from this, grow from this. for me at the very end of my rock bottom experience i was in a coma for 13 hours and they thought i wasn't going to make it, so for me that person that was ugly and addicted to drugs died and a new nikki was born, i hope you allow that to happen for you.
a book that really helped me once i started therapy, and yes i still go to therapy once a month, is called addictive thinking by Abraham J. Twerski ↑ |
| Name: zoey9810 | Date: Nov 1st, 2008 11:32 PM |
| IT was nice talking to you on aim! you will get through this ! believe in your self! You can do it! ↑ |
| Name: NIKKIS | Date: Nov 2nd, 2008 1:50 AM |
| ***i meant a complete 180 not 360 :) ↑ |
| Name: Coartney | Date: Nov 3rd, 2008 6:59 AM |
| well Im a tad bit in the middle here. I have been a drug addict, and now im recovering. I did alot of stupid shit in my day, and whitt that is one reason we always got along. I am glad to hear you are alright, but at the same time, wicked disappointed to read the rest of what you wrote. I know I havent been on in a long time, danese just hvd to help me create a new name bc i couldnt remember my info, but thats besides the point.. in a way, i wanna say im glad they trook cadence, and not saying you're a bad mom, but maybe for the simple fact that maybe now youll realize, its not all about you anymore. and omg that is one of the hardest things to do, I know this. Im not here to judge bc like I said, Ive f*cked up too, but girl, I love you, but this was just dumb. ↑ |
| Name: Opheiliamath | Date: Nov 4th, 2008 3:49 PM |
WOW! I'm in shock here. Man....this is crazy. I know you know better but you've already said you had a problem. Which is a step in the right direction.
I'm glad Candence got taken away for the time being. Maybe this is the "rock buttom" that you need.
GET SOBER PLEASE!!!! ↑ |
| Name: Opheiliamath | Date: Nov 4th, 2008 3:52 PM |
Umm...Lauren did you really just give your phone number out like that?!
Are you not worried werido people would start calling you?
I don't you should have done that. Only if there was a way to delete posts! ↑ |
| Name: zoey9810 | Date: Nov 4th, 2008 6:38 PM |
| Ahh I don't care let some psycho call me, My life isn't that interesting! LOL ohh well! ↑ |
| Name: Randi | Date: Nov 6th, 2008 2:07 PM |
Wow Whittni...
I read this post a few days ago, but have not been sure what to say. I have never been where you are, but I have been where Cadence is and so hearing this makes me angry.
I really hope you get help and get your life back on track, or if you are unable to, sign over your parental rights to Cuffy. That might sound harsh, but an unstable parent is so hard on a little child. When we were little my mom would leave us alone at night. We would all be in bed and could hear her drive off and it was scary! If she wasn't home in the morning I would not make it to school because I was too young and we had to lie about it because we didn't want her to get in trouble.
I can not remember a single time being in the car without my mom having a drink in her lap. She would cover it with her hand if we went through a drive through and she drove dangerously, thinking it was funny. She even had a guy stop behind her at a light, open her door and start punching her in the head... with me being 6 and my little sister being 3 in the backseat.
That lifestyle gets you nowhere. My mom went from a husband, 3 kids, great job and a house to living in a shitty little trailer with no phone, heat or electric. No one visits her because she asks for money and none of us kids really have much to do with her. She has only seen my kids a handful of times and she is just waiting to die. It's sad and it breaks my heart when I look at my mother being only 90lbs. Her eyes are yellowed and her skin is puffy. When you talk to her, it's like speaking to a young child.
Please don't let it get that bad, it happens so easily because you don't even notice how bad you have let yourself get until it's too late.
Good luck and I have been thinking about you. ↑ |
| Name: Whittni | Date: Nov 8th, 2008 4:54 PM |
Randi- Thinking about what I've done makes me angry too. Cadence should not have to deal with any of this and should not grow up with a mother that is irresponsible. We went to court thursday and cuffy got the orders to take cadence straight back to wisconsin and supervise the visits I have with her. I am not even allowed to live in the house hold until I get my shit together. Cadence is my drive for life and until my everything was taken away i didnt realiaze how much of a problem i had/have. I am going to counceling here in texas for now and aa meetings. I am going to stay in texas until the end of november and then i will be going back to wisconsin because all my new found friends have magically disappeared and my room mate and friend of 6 years is moving out. I guess this was my wake up sign to get better and asap. the situation was bad but it could of been a heck of a lot worse. i am counting my blessings and getting things on track. i never want anything like this to happen again. thanks for thinking of me.
Danese- Thank you for your support. I am taking it one day at a time and remembering to breathe.
Joeys_Mam- Thank you for your thoughts. It truly is a nightmare. But Cadence was returned to cuffy to take home to wisconsin, and that is one less thing to worry about. Now its just focusing on me and getting fixed.
M25- I was drinking at home alone because i guess i'm an alcoholic. i liked the way a few drinks made me feel. it didnt occur to me that i would get pulled over or in a wreck. taco bell is 5 minutes away and i guess being drunk i thought i was invincible at the moment. I didnt ask for help because even though i knew i was drinking to much i thought i had it under control. :/ I have well learned my lesson and i am starting counseling asap as well as aa meetings. cuffy is taking cadence back to wisconsin sunday and i am going to stay in texas for the rest of the month and try and get a head start on getting better. i will be returning to wisconsin early december. but as was ordered by the court i cannot live in the house until i am fixed. I dont ever plan on having something like this happen again.
Rosey- It did come back and bit me on the butt, and i want no sympathy from anyone. Everything that happened to me i deserved. It could have been a lot worse and I am thankful it wasn't. I screwed up BIG time. But theres no time like now to fix this and never have it happen EVER again.
Lauren- I'm healing well though the doctor says. When I went to clean out my car. There was NO way I should have lived. My car was destroyed. Cuffy is handling it as best he can, i think he keeps a lot of things inside because hes trying to be here to support me. I appreciate him so much for being here with me. Cadence got returned to Cuffy on Thursday and he is taking her home on Sunday. CPS closed the case because they didnt properly notify both parents before the removal of cadence. however i am to only have supervised visits with cadence and am not to live in the house until i am better, i already have a counseling appt on monday. I plan on staying in texas through the end of the month and then returning to WI. Seeing as i cannot return to my job because it is in childcare, all my new found friends ran the other way, and my room mate whom i'm known for 6 years is moving out...i have no reason to stay here....even as much as i love it. i suppose this is gods way of showing me what a split second can take away from me and what i need to do. I don't know if I got a DWI. I was in the hospital for 3 days so i didnt go to jail. and i havent recieved anything in the mail..i'm just waiting. do you have unlimited txts? because i'm a texting nerd. :) Thanks for caring so much xoxo
Nikki- I am fully taking advantage of making a complete 180 with my life. It sucks what happens, but I don't think if I didn't hit rock bottom I would have stopped for a long time. It was bad but it could have been a heck of a lot worse. At least no one got killed, no other car was injured, cadence wasnt in the car ect. And after looking at my car there is no way I should have lived. After all this I have a new found perspective on life. Its not all about living for me any more. My choices aren't mine, they affect a lot of people...and I guess I didn't realize that until all this. I'm sorry to hear you've been in a similar situation, but im glad to hear how much better you are and that you've turned your life around. More than half of drug addicts and alcoholics dont recover and keep relapsing. It's going to be hard for me for awhile...but I know in the end throwing all these bad habits away is going to make such a better life for me and my family. It sucks we can't have any other contact, but I understand. People who disobey the law aren't really ones to be involved with....just because they can go one way or another. I accept it though. You do whats best for you and brooke, I am going to get that book as soon as i return to Wisconsin. Thank you for sharing your story with me. It's always nice to know someones been where you are and there is hope. Thank you. xoxo
Coartney- I always knew there were millions of reasons we got along :) And for the first time in my life i've realized its not all about me. my decsions and choices have affects on so many other people. i need to start thinking of others and getting on the right path. what i did was effing stupid and wrong. from here im going to live and learn. take one day at a time and get the help i need. cadence deserves a good mom and i wasn't being the best i could. i needed her to be taken away to realize just how much my actions are not about me. I hope your having a fun life with the japenese :) let me know whats been up! xoxo
Opheiliamath- I believe that Cadence being taken away was the rock bottom i needed. She's my everything and having that taken away made me lost. Everything I did was stupid, but i fully intend on screwing my head back on and focusing on the future. I'm taking all the right steps, including counseling and aa, to get sober and stay sober. ↑ |
| Name: AshlieMerie | Date: Nov 8th, 2008 5:17 PM |
| Im sorry Whittni but I have NO sympathy for you at all what so ever, although I do feel bad for your child. I do not agree with any of things that you have done and I believe you are getting everything that is coming to you! ↑ |
| Name: zoey9810 | Date: Nov 8th, 2008 6:28 PM |
| Yes I do have unlimited text messaging, text me some time! ↑ |
| Name: Whittni | Date: Nov 8th, 2008 8:13 PM |
| Ashlie- I didn't ask for sympathy. I fully know everything I did was wrong. I admit I have a problem and i'm well on my way through counseling and aa to help myself. cadence is back with her dad and after i get the help i need i will be back with them both. I believe ive already got almost everything that is coming to me...i lost my job, totaled my car, my room mate is moving out forcing me to return to wisconsin because i cant pay the rent, i lost every single new friend i just made in texas (ive only been here 3 months), i got about 40,000 in medical bills, i got a dwi, and my daughter taken away, really if theres anything more i think after everything i've gone through it cant be much worse. i unfortunatly needed to hit rock bottom to get a wake up call. All that above is what i needed to realize i have a problem and you know what it did. i've never wanted anyones sympathies. and i dont want anyone to be rude to me either. people make mistakes and eff up. you live and you learn. sometimes people go down some pretty rough roads. ↑ |
| Name: mamal | Date: Nov 8th, 2008 9:47 PM |
I am sorry that this had to happen to you to make things better for you and Cadence.
I am very glad you told everyone this. It is not easy with the bashing that can occur online. I hope that your story will teach others, of course never to drink and drive, but mainly NEVER EVER EVER leave your child alone, whether it be for 2 seconds or 5 minutes. Just think if you were (god forbid) killed in that accident and no one was able to identify you. How long would Cadence have sat alone crying out for someone? Would she have tried to climb out of her crib leading to a life ending / altering fall? Please ladies know that statistics state that you are most likely to be in a crash within 5 minutes of your house.
Whittni the above questions are rhetorical and something for others to think about. I am sure you have thought that and worse. Now is the time to treat this as a rebirth and turn yourself into the amazing person you know you can be!! Good Luck!! ↑ |
| Name: Whittni | Date: Nov 9th, 2008 9:51 AM |
| Mamal- Words of encouragement are always appreciated. I daily think forwards and backwards and ever other direction about what happened. This is the first time in my life that I have realized that i'm not just living for me anymore. I have a family that is directly affected by my actions. I am taking this as a sign to give up my selfishness and act selflessly. I knew sharing this story would get all different angles of comments. But fact of the matter is, if someone else is going through the same thing and too quite to speak up, like i was, i hope this helps. I hope this can be someone elses wake up call before anything really happens. xoxo ↑ |
| Name: aiden | Date: Nov 9th, 2008 12:22 PM |
| I HAVE READ AND REREAD THIS POST AND THE REPLIES. MY INITAL REACTION WAS TO LET YOU HAVE IT, BUT I WANTED TO WAIT TO SEE IF YOU WOULD REALIZE WHAT REALLY HAPPENED FOR YOURSELF. I HAVE MADE TOO MANY MISTAKES IN MY LIFE , SO I CANT THROW STONES,THE GOOD THING IS I HAVE LEARNED FROM EVERY ONE.. AND I KNOW IT DOESNT DO ANY GOOD TO BITCH AT SOMEONE IF THEY ARENT GOING TO LEARN OR ARENT LISTENING. I AM HAPPY TO SEE YOU UNDERSTAND THE MISTAKE, AND WHAT YOU CAN DO TO PREVENT FUTURE INCIDENTS. I AM SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS, BUT USE THE TIME TO MOVE UP. YOU ARE ON THE BOTTOM OF THE SPIRAL AND THE ONLY WAY YOU HAVE TO GO IS UP. GOOD LUCK AND KEEP US POSTED! ↑ |
| Name: Whittni | Date: Nov 9th, 2008 1:02 PM |
| Aiden- Your words of encouragement are appreciated. I am slowly working my way back up. Cadence is back with family which is HUGE. From here on out it's all about living for her. Everything that happened has been my wake up call in more areas than one. xoxo w ↑ |
| Name: lindalu | Date: Nov 9th, 2008 1:07 PM |
Whittni,
First I would like to say hello. I don't know you and have never spoken to you before so I don't feel I have any rite to sit here and pass judgment on you. I only have a few things to say so I will keep it brief and non personal.
Alcoholism is a rough disease to live with, many people struggle every day trying to over come the hold it has on them. Most do know they have a problem, but not always understanding it. I think you are brave to have opened up and placed what for most is a shameful and some times embarrassing illness. I do think that you have handled the criticism of your circumstances quite well.
You know what wrongs you have done and seem to be aware of what need to be done to prevent any further events. Keep up the faith, take it one day at a time. Remember this could have had been much worse... you could have killed yourself or another person. You also could have come home to find your child had burned to death in a house fire (sorry for the bluntness) .
So as I said... just take it one day at a time and work at getting better, if not for you for your child who deserves to have a wonderful healthy life.
Take care...Peace! ↑ |
| Name: Whittni | Date: Nov 9th, 2008 5:10 PM |
lindalu- thank you so much for what you said. you are right it could have been much worse! even though we've never spoken i appreciate you taking the time to comment. xo
peace
w ↑ |
| Name: lacirrom | Date: Nov 9th, 2008 10:48 PM |
| hey whittni, i read this post before and like so many others have said, i wasn't sure what to say. i'm glad that you understand what you've done and that you are taking all of the right steps to fix things. be prepared, it will be hard. my husband was an alcoholic and a drug addict and he has had relapses over the years and has had to take care of it all over again. but believe in yourself and just keep your little girl in your mind with EVERYTHING you do. live your life for her now and try your best to make all of this up to her no matter what it takes. i'll be praying for you and your family. also, i think it took alot of courage to post this story on here and i think it's great that you did. maybe the next time someone thinks about doing something like this, somewhere in their mind they will remember your story and stop. ↑ |
| Name: AshlieMerie | Date: Nov 11th, 2008 4:41 PM |
| I'm sorry I didnt mean to come off so rude I have just had several people in my family die in accidents or even cause the accidents that have cost other people their lives, it is so selfish. I am very glad that you realiz now and I hope things start going bette for you now. My prayers are with you and your family! ↑ |
| Name: smileylou | Date: Dec 27th, 2008 2:13 PM |
| gosssshhhh!!!i think that you are the most selfish person ever!!! first off all you should not be bringing children into the world if your an alchoholic!! aw people like you dont deserve kids and annoy me so much!!! ↑ |
| Name: ..RoSey.. | Date: Dec 27th, 2008 2:39 PM |
| This is the oldest post in history smileylou.... Go find another post to bitch about. ↑ |
| Name: smileylou | Date: Dec 28th, 2008 4:02 PM |
| rosey, it does not matter whether this is a old post or not, if its still advertised then im entitled to my opinion. i mean you replyed to me on this post so obviously you was still looking, why would you still be looking if this post is old news!! and really its got nothing to do with you who posts a comment whther its straight away or 3 months on. just wanted to get my point across so ill leave it @ that!! ↑ |
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