| i do not think you are in the wrong. if someone says i am not a parent yet then i would have been offended like braylan wasn't his son. bilogically or other wise..when you have a family you dont go around saying "i'm not a parent yet" because he is a 'father' figure to braylan and he doesnt need to be mean to him and discpline him if he isnt a parent yet..leave that up to you. sorry he was mean to you and braylan last night....(hugs) ↑ |
| Girl men are retarted taht is all I can say. Sometimes they say crap and don't even realize how it effects us. No matter how well you blend you family there will always be some soer of tension no matter how mild. I think that Gary and I have done a great job. Jeremiah calls him dad and we are in the process of gary adopting Jeremiah, but we still have times when either he will think that I am sticking up for jeremiah, or I will think that he is over reacting becuase it has to do with my son and not his. He sometimes thinks that if he diciplins jeremiah that I act like I need to comfort him like Gary didn't have a right to diciplin him. I always think that gary is nuts and that I never do that. Girl honestly it almost never ends. Just yesterday he was pissed becuase I took a half day off of work to be home with Jeremiah since he is very sick, yet a couple of weeks ago his son was off of school for the day on a friday and wanted to stay at our house. Gary had me stay home form work and let jeremiah stay home form school. Now his son could have stayed at his mom house and been home with his big brother so it is not like we did not have an option. I brought this up and he of course had no reply. Like I said they are retarted sometimes. I am at home today though and he is over it now he is jsut worried becuase Jeremiah has been sick since friday and is not getting much better. ↑ |
| THANKS JILL I JUST REALLY DONT KNOW HOW I AM GOING TO HANDLE THIS ONE. HE HAS SAID SOME HURTFULL THINGS TO ME AND I AM SURE HE DIDNT MEAN IT BECAUSE I AM HIS FIRST TRUE GIRLFRIEND. BUT HONESTLY I FEEL HE IS JUST WANTING TO STAY WITH ME BECAUSE HE DOSENT WANT ME TO FILE CHILD SUPPORT ON HIM BECAUSE I WOULD GET ALOT. I REALLY DO NOT WANT TO SEE HIM NOW AND I FEEL LIKE I REALLY NEED TO START THINKING ON HOW HE IS GOING TO BE WITH HIM AFTER HIS DAUGHTER IS BORN. I FEEL LIKE HE IS GOING TO TOTALY IGNORE HIM. I FEEL LIKE IF I DIDNT HAVE BRAYLAN THINGS WOULD BE EXCELENT WITH US BUT I FEEL LIKE TO HIM BRAYLAN HAS GOTTEN IN THE WAY ALOT. I DONT KNOW I AM PROBABLY WRONG BUT WHAT IF I AM NOT? ↑ |
| hun you know that he loves you. you are jsut worring he told you him self that he wants to be with you. Honestly child support usually ends up being cheaper then having a wife and 2 kids so I am sure th tis not the reason. I would jsut ask him if he wants to be a father to your son. If he says yes then tell him that he need to not use comments like that then period. tell him that it hurts you feelings and he either is a dad to braylan or not. He either acts like a dad ALL of the time, or he stays out of it and leaves the parenting to you. I am sure he will see his mistake. The thing is that he may not even realize that you are upset about that so make sure you let him know. ↑ |
| He could be like my Mike and have foot and mouth disease and not really mean it like it sounded. It could mean that he just doesn't know any better so to cut him some slack on the booster thing vs. he truly doesn't see himself as a parent to braylan. you might talk to him about it. My husband always says shit that once he explains it, it makes sense but when it comes out in an argument or heated discussion it just sounds like bullcrap. And you have to remember, once you tell a man you aren't mad, they think the whole thing is over and move on...they dont' stew on things like us girls. ↑ |
| JILL AND MARTI YOU ARE RIGHT BUT I AM STILL VERY UPSET AND I TELL YOU WHAT I LOOK MAD AND IF I DONT LOOK MAD TO HIM I LOOK SAD SO WHATEVER. I DONT EVEN WANT TO TALK TO HIM I REALLY AM AT THE STAGE WHERE I THINK I AM LOOSING FEELINGS FOR REAL. I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO FEEL OR THINK. I TELL YOU WHAT MY SON COMES FIRST AND THATS THAT I WILL CHOOSE MY SON FIRST I DONT CARE HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM. I WILL DIE THE REST OF MY LIFE LOVING HIM BUT IF HE DOES NOT WANT TO BE PART OF MY SONS LIFE THEN I DO NOT WANT TO BE WITH HIM. ↑ |
| hun if he really feels that way then I would not blame you one bit for leaving. When you meet the right man (not saying that dinow is not him) you wil be able to put him first becuase he will be a real man who put his family including braylan first. If you are in a constant battle between you son and you man then it will never work. Dino HAS to treat braylan like his own or you will never feel settled. Like I said it is never perfect and there will be small issues, but as long as you know that he has braylans best intrest at heart becuase he loves him then you can deal with the small things that may come from time to time. If Dino thinks that he can be with you and treat braylan like an outsider then he is worng. You have to look out for your childs best interest. I am not saying make execuses for his behavior or anything, becuae you need to get that under control rather you stay with dino or not, but you owe it to braylan fo him to be in a home where he is loved. If that is a home with a man who is not his bio dad then that man owes it to braylan to treat him and love him like his own. When gary and I first started to get serious I made it very clear to him that I had very high expectations of the man who was going to raise my son and I let him know that I did not want to take our relationship any farther if he was not willing to take that responsibality. Maybe you need to have the same talk with dino. Tell him loook this is what I expect of you. and list everything you want. Let him know if he can't take it then maybe you should part ways. It is important in every family that the wife puts her husband first and that the husband puts his family first. You can't do taht if you don't feel like he is being a good loving dad to braylan. Let him know that. I hope it works out hun. Just lay all of your cards on the table and don't settle. ↑ |
jill i hear ya. you have great advice and i am glad that you are willing to take your time to give it. i almost feel like i am talking to a best friend when i talk to you. thanks so much.
brandiss
36+0 ↑ |
| we have alot in common and you are going through some situations that I have already been through. I am glad to help. It does sometimes amaze me that we have gone through so many of the same things with being a single parent, and now we are going through lots of the same stuff with being pregnant :) ↑ |
| true jill and another thing is that or babies will be born in the same month. its like we are sole mate sisters. ↑ |
