Name: bennetth Title: how do you console someone who lost their baby

My sister in all just found out today that her baby has died. She was 14 weeks pregnant.I dont know what to say to her. Because i never lost a baby. i could use some advice on what i should say to her. i told her that she can talk to me if she needed to.Is it all right to talk to her about my pregnancy. Without feeling guilty. I dont want her to get upset with me or think that i am not thinking about her feelings.  ?

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Name: zoey9810 • Date: 05/02/2008 19:42:41

no its not wrong to talk about yours, but try not to so much because it will make her sad.. but i think you did the right thing about telling her you are there for her if she needsyou.


just try and support her, and be there for her.  =

Name: briseis • Date: 05/03/2008 06:42:27

Avoid talking about your pregnancy ... Like Lauren said, just be there to support her through this time. :(  =

Name: DaisyUK-US • Date: 05/04/2008 00:49:13

You've done the right thing by just being there for her. I've been there myself and know what upset me even more. The biggest thing was everyone telling me it happened for a reason. I knew that and didn't need reminding.

Also, my family called me everyday, I didn't want that because I just wanted to be alone and didn't want to be bothered. I know everyone is different, but I would ask what she would like from you.

My sis in law was due a month before me and although it was upsetting that she was still pregnant, I never expected her to not talk about her pregnancy or baby. Both you and your sister are equally important just as much as the fact that she lost her baby and you are still pregnant. Yes, give her some time to heal and then have a talk about your pregnancy. Perhaps you could ask her to get involed somehow and maybe organize a memorial for her baby. We planted a tree and some flowers and bought a beautiful baby cross and I just finished a memory album from my doctor's apts and ultrasounds.

She will heal with time, but will never forget or truly get past this. I lost my baby at 10+2 back on Aug 4, 2006 and I still think of our Morgan. I'm currently pregnant again and we plan on using Morgan for the middle name in honour of our baby.

Let her cry, scream, get angry and just hold her. Your sister, you and your family are in my heart and prayers and I'm so sorry for your loss.  =

Name: Nicolaaa • Date: 05/04/2008 09:34:01

You are doing the right thing......just be there...but dont keep bringing up the subject.

Dont be afraid to have fun, laugh...dont tiptoe around her..yes she's fragile...but it'll make her feel excluded and lonely if you treat her differently. I have been there myself.

Let her talk to you if she needs too....

How far along are you now Daisyuk-us?  =

Name: smashlee • Date: 05/05/2008 04:08:45

from personal experience, i woud talk abotu it wen i wantd to, it was frustrating people tryingto get more out of me, and the lastthing i wanted to hear was about successful pregnancies, just give her space, but let her know that youre there for her.... shel cum to you if she wants to  =