and told me that she is having a hard time with my son not paying attention and shoving and pushing and rolling on the floor etc. i told her to let me talk to him and i put some fear in him. he is sooo in trouble.... oh and then dino came up to me and said what happend with braylan is he in trouble. so much inside of me wanted to just tell him I AM THE PARENT and i will take care of it. but i just ignored him and said it has to do with braylan and turned my head.
what should i do. man today is just not a good day for me. ↓
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| Name: briseis | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 11:19 AM |
| Hi Brandiss! I don't have any experience with young children so I can't say how you should handle the situation with your son with any confidence. But do try to work with Dino rather than against him; is he the father figure in Braylan's life? If so, if you two aren't working as a team it may affect Braylan, hence his behaviour? I dunno babes. Like I said, I have no experience of this. Just a thought! ↑ |
| Name: jillw | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 11:22 AM |
| hun consistency is the key. You ahve to give him a set of written rules and MAKE him follow then ALL the time. The three of you should sit down and discuss what the rules should be that way braylan is involved too. Just yelling from time to time is not going to work. Also he can't get away with something one day and it not be ok the next. He need to know that is ok and not ok ALL the time. If he seems way out of control and has other symptoms have him checked for ADHD, but other wise it is jsut good old fashioned constant diciplin. ↑ |
| Name: MIZZBRANDISS | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 11:23 AM |
| BRISEIS I AM GUESSING YOU DID NOT READ MY POST ABOUT "I AM NOT A PARENT" THEN YOU WILL UNDERSTAND WHY I THOUGHT THAT. GOSH I JUST FEEL LIKE BREAKING DOWN TODAY. THIS IS THE ONLY REASON I WOULD LIKE MY BABY TO COME NOW BECAUSE I AM SOOOOO EMOTIONAL. I THINK I AM GOING TO LET MY DR KNOW THAT I AM GETTING DEPRESSED. ↑ |
| Name: MIZZBRANDISS | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 11:25 AM |
| WE HAVE RULES BUT I THINK ITS THE LITTLE BOY IN THE CLASS THAT LURES HIM. I DONT THINK HE HAS ADHD BUT I WILL CONSIDER IT. HE DOES NOT ACT LIKE THIS AT HOME AND I THINK ITS BECAUSE HE DOSENT HAVE A SISTER OR BROTHER. BUT THANKS JILL.... ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 11:25 AM |
| Hi Brandiss; Well, this is true. I don't know the situation. How far along are you now? ↑ |
| Name: jillw | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 11:31 AM |
| hun I don't want to sound like I am being harsh, but Jeremiah did not have siblings either and we didn't ahve issues. I know that some kids are more easily distracted then others, but you can't make execuses for him. You have to make him accountable for his actions even if you believe that he is being led by another. If he sences that you think it may not be his "fault" then he will play on that ↑ |
| Name: MIZZBRANDISS | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 11:32 AM |
| I AM 36 WEEKS TODAY. AND YESTERDAY DINO TOLD ME THAT "HE WAS NOT A PARENT YET" SO THATS WHY I WANTED TO GO OFF ON HIM. JUST READ THE POST IT EXPLAINS ALOT MORE. ↑ |
| Name: BrookeW | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 11:39 AM |
| Hey Brandiss- Lets talk! LOL.. My S2B hubby has three children. I am in the same position as your husband, can you tell me as a mother how you want him so act. I know the situation is a bit different, but maybe it will help me. I don't know if I should try and be their Mother, or their Friend or what??!! It gets hard at times, trust me. Not that I am sticking up for Dino at all- because he should not of said that. That was very wrong of him and if I were you, I would of gotten upset also. ↑ |
| Name: Sez | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 11:40 AM |
| dont get offended but have you tested him for ADHD ? ↑ |
| Name: MIZZBRANDISS | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 11:40 AM |
| JILL YOU ARE RIGHT. OH THINGS ARE GOING TO CHANGE. I AM PICKING HIM UP FROM SCHOOL AND WE ARE GOING STRAIGHT HOME WE ARE GOING TO DO HIS HOME WORK HE IS GOING TO EAT TAKE A SHOWER AND THEN HE IS GOING TO HELP ME MOVE ALL HIS STUFF FROM HIS ROOM INTO THE BABIES ROOM SO HE ONLY HAS A BED. AFTER THAT HE IS GOING STRAIGHT TO BED. HE IS ALSO GOING TO START DOING TRASH ON MONDAY AND THRUSDAY MORNINGS. I NORMALY HAVE TO PUSH HIM TO WAKE UP IN THE MORNING BY CHECKING ON HIM EVERY 5 MIN AND HE WILL WAKE UP IN THE MORNING IF IT TAKES A POP ON THE BUT. I DO NOT BELIEVE IN THAT BUT HE HAS BEEN BAD ALL YEAR LONG BECAUSE I AM TO SOFT ON HIM. THERE ARE RULES IN THE HOME BUT ALSO REMEMBER JILL I RAISED HIM ALL MYSELF WITH HIM NOT HAVING A FATHER TO BE STERN WITH HIM UNTILL I GOT WITH DINO. HE IS ALREADY SET IN HIS WAY. ITS MY FAULT FOR LETTING HIM GET AWAY WITH SO MUCH. I AM ALSO GOING TO TRY TONIGHT TO JUST TALK TO HIM CALMLY AND IF THAT DOSENT WORK I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO POP HIS BUT. ↑ |
| Name: BrookeW | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 11:43 AM |
| Name: MIZZBRANDISS | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 11:44 AM |
| SARAH I GREW UP WITH ADD NOT ADHD. MY ATTENTION WAS HORRIBLE BUT I WAS NOT HYPER. I MEAN I WAS A FAST MOVING KID BUT NEVER GOT IN TROUBLE AT SCHOOL LIKE HIM. I WENT TO LEARN AND THATS THAT. I HAD FUN IN RECESS NOT IN CLASS. I DONT KNOW. I ASKED THEM TO TEST HIM BUT THEY SAID BY 2ND GRADE THEY SHOULD KNOW IF THEY SHOULD TEST HIM OR NOT. THEY SAID HE IS JUST ACTING LIKE A KID. AND SARAH YOU DID NOT OFFEND ME AT ALL I KNOW THERE IS A POSSIBLITY BUT I HAVE TO WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR. ↑ |
| Name: MIZZBRANDISS | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 11:45 AM |
| HE IS 6 AND GOING TO BE 7 IN A MONTH HE IS IN 1ST GRADE ↑ |
| Name: sez | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 11:51 AM |
| good brandy i didnt want to upset you. Well i hope it is just a phase! maybe just attention seeking because you are pregnant, good luck i hope it improves soon for you ↑ |
| Name: MIZZBRANDISS | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 11:54 AM |
| SARAH THATS WHAT SOMEONE TOLD ME AT WORK THAT MABYE HE JUST WANTS ATTENTION BECAUSE I AM PREGNANT. I WANT TO BELIEVE THAT IS NOT TRUE BECAUSE I SHOW HIM ALOT OF ATTENTION. I EVEN GO AND LAY WITH HIM IN HIS ROOM AND HE LOVES TO TOUCH MY BELLY. WE DONT YELL AT HIM SO I DONT KNOW WHY HE HAS SUCH A BAD ATTITUDE. ↑ |
| Name: jillw | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 11:57 AM |
| hun I know that you want him to be a well behaved boy, and I also know ti is hard. I was a single mom too until jeremiah was 5. I know that it is hard to be tuff and loving at the same time plus you feel bad that there is no dad around, but it has to be done for their own good. Think of it this way if he has rules to follow he will hate it at first, but in the long run you will have to yell at him less he will be in trouble less and you won't ahve to feel bad for being stern with him. Trust me it helps you relationship so much and it really pays off. I used to get so much shit form my family they called me the drill sargent and sid I was too strict with jeremiah, but I knew that it was just me and if he got out of control how the hell was I going to stop it. Jeremaih and I have a great relationship. I hardly ever have to yell at him and it has been that way for a very long time. You can do it girl you just got to stick to it and not let those puppy dog eyes get to you :) ↑ |
| Name: MIZZBRANDISS | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 12:06 PM |
| THANKS JILL, THE PUPPY DOG EYES WORKED UNTILL TODAY. I CAN NOT HAVE THIS KINDA STRESS WHEN MY DAUGHTER IS BORN AND I CAN NOT HAVE THIS STRESS NOW AS I AM 36 WEEKS PREGO. I JUST HOPE THERE IS A CHANCE HE WILL CHANGE. ↑ |
| Name: jillw | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 1:30 PM |
| hun he will change, but it won't be over night. take 30 days of being very strict withthe new rules, but loving at the same time and reward good behavior. Do not slip on the rules at all and try to be firm when telling him what he is doing wrong. try not to loose you temper and yell, becuase then he has won. I bet you 100.00 the in 30 days you will see a new kid :) ↑ |
| Name: MIZZBRANDISS | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 2:55 PM |
| i will take that advice. i am going to get a poster board today and write down the law in my house. ↑ |
| Name: jillw | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 2:57 PM |
| don't forget the rewards!! if is always good to have an encentive that is reachable. He'll do just fine wait and see :) ↑ |
| Name: MIZZBRANDISS | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 3:08 PM |
I WAS DOING THE MONEY THING HERE WERE THE RULES
1. EVERY SPELLING WORD HE GOT RIGHT HE GOT 1 PENNY
2. EVERY SPELLING TEST HE GETS A "A" HE GETS 50 CENTS
3. EVERY GOOD DEED HE GETS 50 CENTS
4. EVERY BOOK READ GETS 10 CENTS
5. WHEN HE IS GOOD IN SCHOOL ALL WEEK HE GETS $1
6. WHEN HE SAYS YES/ NO MAM AND SER HE GETS 25 CENTS.
THIS WAS OK FOR 1 WEEK THEN HE STARTED SLIPPING AND SINCE OUR MOVE ITS BEEN FORGOTEN FOR REAL. I THINK I MIGHT START IT AGAIN NO AS WE ARE IN A STABLE HOME NOW. ↑ |
| Name: christiansmommy | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 3:17 PM |
| OH MY GOD! I SOOOO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH. CHRISTIAN HAS ACTUALLY BEEN PUT OUT OF A DAYCARE BEFORE. PARENT'S ACTUALLY GANGED UP ON ME AND WENT TO CORPORATE! THOSE ASSHOLES! HE WAS ONLY 2 AT THE TIME! ANYWAY, HE'S NOW 4 AND HE STARTED HAVING PROBLEMS AGAIN AT THIS NEW PRESCHOOL, BUT HE GOT ADJUSTED AFTER ABOUT 3 WEEKS. I ALMOST STARTED CRYING WHEN THEY CALLED ME AT WORK B/C I FIGURED THE SAME THING WAS GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN AND I WAS JUST GONNA HAVE TO QUIT MY JOB B/C NO ONE COULD PUT UP WITH HIM. BUT, I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND. CHRISTIAN IS VERY AGGRESSIVE AND DOESN'T TAKE STUFF FROM ANYBODY. NOT THAT THAT IS AN EXCUSE, BUT HE DOES NOT LET OTHER KIDS WALK ON TOP OF HIM. I'LL ADMIT, HE DOES TRY AND TALK BACK AND TEST YOU, BUT HE ONLY DOES THAT TO OTHER ADULTS AND HE KNOWS BETTER THAN TO DO IT WITH ME! GOOD LUCK. I HOPE THEY DON'T GIVE UP ON HIM. HOW OLD IS HE AGAIN? OH, AND THAT IS SUCH A NICE NAME-BRAYLAN. ↑ |
| Name: jillw | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 3:18 PM |
1. clean you room each day
2. no back talk ever
3. no running or jumping indoors unless it is gym class
4. no yelling or hitting ever
strike 1 in room no tv or playing for 30min
strike 2 " " + bed time 30 min early
strike 3 " " + no video games for 24 hrs
Strike 4 in room for rest of day no toys, games, or tv for next 24 hrs.
Then do a rewards chart based on the week and sunday is reward day
1 day no strikes = icecream after dinner
2 days no strikes = " " + 1.00
3 days no strikes " " movie of his choice
4 days etc.... you get the picture. points build up like strikes do so you get each subsequent punishment or reward on top of the current one.
as for school reward him with each report card and let him know your expectations of his school behavior and tell him tha tthe strikes in school will carry over. si if he was rude once in class when he gets home he is already on strike 2 after he serves his strike one punishment for being rude in class.
Lots of work, but it is worth it
those are simple and easy to follow and easy to remember. they also cover most situations. ↑ |
| Name: MIZZBRANDISS | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 3:21 PM |
| OMG I AM GOING TO TOTALY COPY THAT AND DO IT. I AM GOING TO BE FAITHFUL TO IT AND LETCHA KOW HOW THINGS ARE AT THE END OF THE WEEK. ↑ |
| Name: christiansmommy | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 3:22 PM |
| Name: christiansmommy | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 3:22 PM |
| I MEAN MY RESPONSE TO YOUR POST. LOL. ↑ |
| Name: jillw | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 3:26 PM |
| I hope it works out for you guys. ↑ |
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