| Name: yoke | Date: Jan 21st, 2007 3:36 AM |
wat you have to do?
YOU talk to her for pete's sake!
most of the time it's a call far attention from the parents, but instead you let her go to doktors and other people who claim them crazy and or abnormal, although they don't say that, you can see it clearly in their eyes. (ive been through the same thing as your doughter at 13)
the doctors know what it is.... but they're just plain scary, a young girl isn't gonna open up to some odl guy/lady who get paid by some paranoid parents!!!!!!
i know this is hard to hear but the truth is hard and people should learn to live with it.
so pleas, for your doughter's sake, you talk to her, letting other people handle it is a cowards way out! c'mon! i saw someone who wanted you to talk to dr phill!!!! he sucks ass!!!
it's gonna be a looong and painfull yourney, but eventualy it's al going to pass, and your daughter wil thank you even if it doesnt looks like it now. and don't compare her to her sister ok?
that's a mayor mistake some parents make.
well... that's all i have to say , i hope my life expiriense and advice is gonna help you out.
with love yooke ↑ |
| Name: Mr_kfd2291 | Date: Feb 22nd, 2007 9:43 PM |
Not sure how much help I can be for you but I am also a cutter so if you have any questions that she wont answer. I might be able to answer them for you, but I can't make any promises. I can tell you right now my mom thinks the same way. She keeps telling me to stop and get over it, but there is much more to it and not to affend any one but you adults just don't understand. I was hospitalized on November 1st and did not get out until November 22. I'm now going through outpatiant theropy and it's all ok to a point but it's not all that good. I still do it and everyone flips out on me and that just makes it worse. I'm just going to tell you I feel more comfortable talking to other people that have the same problem, for one reason, and that's because they can relate to me and I them. Now as far as I can say about her. She's most likly not doing it because of you or something you did I can pritty much garantee it. Now I don't know exactly why she does it but I can give you some of the reasons I do and others I've met do. 1. this might sound like a wrong answer to you but see it from our point of view ok, it helps to relieve pain that we have inside and gives us the feeling of being able to controle our own pain. 2. it's a way for us to "say" things that we just cant say. 3. it helps to relieve stress that we just can't bare anymore. 4. it helps us to deal with our feelings. Now i can only tell you some of the reasons that triggered me to do it she might have same ones or could be diff, there is no one reason y we do what we do it all depends on what happens in the day. so here are some of the triggers i've had in the past. 1. I lost the one person I truly loved and cared about. now you adults think that we don't feel true love cause we are just kids, but you are so wrong yes we are kids but we are also human and we do feel. And sometimes we get hurt more than you adults do. well i got to get going like i said if you have any questions you can e-mail me at mr_kfd2291@yahoo.com.
oh and one more thing just let her know that she can talk to you but don't get mad if she don't cause i can tell you from personal expereance, when you fell that bad you don't want to talk to anyone espesally you parents. So don't take it the wrong way. when she is ready to talk she will tell, until then just wach her. look for signs, and there will be some trust me on that one. just make sure she don't try anything further. i did and well i don't want to talk bout it anymore. sry i gtg good luck.
Mike ↑ |
| Name: degrassigal121 | Date: Feb 23rd, 2007 9:04 PM |
| your daugter wont quit till she WANTS to. that day may never come but in most cases she'll grow up and realize she wants more from life ↑ |
| Name: LovesBeingAMommy | Date: Feb 27th, 2007 1:43 AM |
If she isn't cutting very deep and they look like cat scratches then she is probably doing it for attention. Maybe if she likes coffee you could take her to Starbucks and talk to her. Do the Mom and daughter thing get behind why she is doing it.
It could just be she wants attention and love from you. that doesn't mean you have done anything wrong. She's at the age where she needs her Mom the most. The akward years you could say.
And, if she watches Degrassi- they had a show on cutting. She might have seen it on there. Cause the girl who plays ellie wears all black and cuts herself because of her mothers problems. So you might want to moniter what she watches also. I hope this helps :) Take care. I'm praying for ya'll!! ↑ |
| Name: LovesBeingAMommy | Date: Feb 27th, 2007 1:46 AM |
http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_min
d/mental_health/cutting.html
I
found this webdite too. Gotta love Jeeves! ↑ |
| Name: kjeanw | Date: Mar 17th, 2007 8:29 PM |
| I am a graduate student in counseling and doing research on cutting. If there is an adolescent out there that is willing to answer a survey of quesetions I would appreciate it. Your name andidentity will not be used or released. ↑ |
| Name: gretaga | Date: Mar 19th, 2007 2:23 PM |
I have a friend that cuts herself and she also has help with a shrink and everything. She still cuts and actually she is in 8th grade and she is also 13 years old. I know how you feel because she to shows off her cuts to everyone in the grade, i tell her not to, but she just does it for attention and i dont think it is right. She seeks for attention 24/7 and i hate it. I feel like she is able to stop, but doesn't want to. I think that you should talk to her or get your 17 year old daughter to talk to her because that may work also. I would stop paying for counselors and everything else because it is obviously not helping her to stop. Get some good advice from other moms, and then think about what you should do next.
(Hint: Take away ALL sharp objects from her including the following: Pins, knives, razors, kitchen tools, etc.) That would be the first step if you have not done that already. Good luck with her. I hope my advice helps. ↑ |
| Name: kjeanw | Date: Mar 25th, 2007 3:25 PM |
| I really need a teenager who is willing to answer a set of questions regarding cutting. I am graduate student who is doing research on adolescents and cutting. Your name or identity will not be used. If you are interested please let know in a response or just post your email so I can email you the set of questions. ↑ |
| Name: xTAKExITxAWAYx | Date: Mar 25th, 2007 9:23 PM |
| ok when i was 11 my mom got pissed at me cuz i was hangin oiut with punk emo ppl and cuz of how i dressed and thought since i was like that i was cuttin well i wasnt but when she got pissed at me i started to that night she made me stay away frm my best friends and i was so alone and i didnt fit in anywhere cuz the ppl i fit in w/ my mom didint approev of its her fault y i started to cut and she doesnt think she did anything qrong but she is so wrong and its been 3 years and im still doin it and its rly not that bad u parents r rly takin this too seriously its not like they r plannin to kill themselves thats a totally differerent thing and if u think its cuz of the music they listen to ur crazy thats wat helps them thru this so just chill ↑ |
| Name: montak | Date: Mar 27th, 2007 5:23 AM |
| its not your fault you have done nothing wrong. is she been bullied in school?. is she trying to fit in with a gang in the shcool that wears all black and cuts themselves.if you could ask her why is she doing it. if she starts shouting at you just say to her its yourself your hurting not me so keep doing it and if you dont take any notice of her for a while then she might give you when she isnt getting any attention. maybe thats all she wants is to be noticed. ↑ |
| Name: Holly__rp | Date: Apr 11th, 2007 7:44 PM |
| Your not doing anything wrong. you just need to find out why shes doing it. are people picking on her at school? did her boyfriend brake up with her? it could just be something at school thats turning her emo. ↑ |
| Name: Brianna | Date: May 5th, 2007 7:55 PM |
| well it might be who she hangs out with, im 13 & i like this boy who cuts himself, he's emo. emo is when your depressed and you cut yourself. idk why, but when i was with him one day i cut my self, & naturally im a prep & im always happy, but its the boy who makes me do it. I hope i helped you out a bit, try talking to her. ↑ |
| Name: ShOrTy | Date: May 7th, 2007 3:34 AM |
| dude u should have a talk to ur daughter and ask her y she is doin all this there is never a reason y a child does stuff like this im 13 and all children have proplems and some r just more open bout it if she doesnt respond to counsilin then u r watestin ur time and money there is no point u should sit down with her one day wen u r all alone and ask her wat is goin on in her life i dont really no wat its like to be an "EMO" or"GOTH" cause they r all different and ive never wanted to try it but if u do the rite thins with her she mite get through this ↑ |
| Name: ShOrTy | Date: May 7th, 2007 3:35 AM |
| i meant never not a reason ↑ |
| Name: emoconker | Date: May 9th, 2007 9:28 PM |
| Name: HappyBunny | Date: May 15th, 2007 7:44 PM |
| hey listen me i know what u need to do, find what is making her depressed, the way you make it sound it's an addiction, to me when you bring her to therapy she going to think something is wrong with her then she could get very worse. Find whats the source of her cutting stop it get her something that can get her happier [let her pick]. Your doing nothing wrong Sandy, do NOT have fights with her that is the most important thing ↑ |
| Name: svetlana1 | Date: May 18th, 2007 9:47 AM |
Hi Sandy,
I have no experience here, but a friend's daughter was going through the same and it turned out that her daughter had a serious self esteem issue as a result of her fathers subtle but degrading comments about her weight. In their case their marriage was in trouble and this was the last straw on the camel's back. The teenagers is now fine.
Sorry I could'nt offer more. ↑ |
| Name: chris10184 | Date: May 20th, 2007 5:00 PM |
Hi, ok i may be wrong i am only 15 but i have been depressed for the last 3 years, i am not sure i have an answer for you but if you are struggling how to get an answer why she/he is depressed for me, it is my moms boyfriend
I hate him because this may be childish but i saw him jump onto the middle of a road and i have seen him threaten to jump off of Brean Down, (A Huge Hill)!, + my mom and him keep breaking up and then my mom says to me (i suppose your happy now) which realy ennoys me because it isn't my fault they keep breaking up and getting back together.
Are you seeing still the father of the 13 year old because if you are with a boyfriend this is a problem for lots of people like me!
Watch a film called "thirteen" it might help! i mean it, it really shows you what it is like to be depressed! ↑ |
| Name: jacqi | Date: May 22nd, 2007 7:44 PM |
dear sandy,
I, myself and a few friends cut a while ago. Although we stopped i can't help but feel depressed and like when something goes wrong i 'have to' cut. I know what she is doing is wrong, and so does she. My other friend that cut had showed her cuts off to other 7th graders, and 8th graders too. Like your daughter it wasn't bad...just like cat scratches, but mine were deeper...i was in a fight with my best friend and she txt my mom that i cut. Even though i stopped I still have the scars...and the guys in my grade (7th) always give me crap about my scars and they don't understand at all how you feel when you feel the urge to cut. It's not a good thing, to cut i mean, and i know you know that...butthe more you push her the more she will cut. I really suggest that you talk to her about it once in a while, but i think that her friends will try to get her to stop too. maybe even the SCHOOL counselor. And also an annaysis to confirm that it's not an illness...mine wasn't, but it is very possible. ↑ |
| Name: riki | Date: May 26th, 2007 7:43 PM |
| im 13 and i cut, its very hard to explain and even harder to talk about especially with parents. i havent been able to stop but if you need to speek about it i can explain it a little more. but do know that different people have different reasons and one more thing. cutting is a drug, it releases stress and opiates in our brain. so it makes it harder to just quit. if you want me to explain it more just tell me or if she has AIM or email tell her she can talk to me. ↑ |
| Name: MeganNicole | Date: Jun 6th, 2007 11:29 PM |
I'v had experience with those kinda things. Most of the time it is a child calling out for help, or just needing something that they can depend on. Sometimes its the way they were raised, meaning the situations that they were in, or the things they saw or heard.
Sometimes it serious, and they really want to die. Talk with them, try to be not only a parent, but a friend, or someone they know they can come to and you'll just listen, and give advice. ↑ |
| Name: Hayley13 | Date: Jun 7th, 2007 9:20 PM |
| Name: thinxashaxfat | Date: Jun 8th, 2007 8:41 AM |
its not a phase
i go through it :]
and i'm 13
she's prbly not 'showing them off' she's prbly just not wearing long sleeves anymore, i got in so much shit from not wearing long sleeves anymore at my school
the whole black thing might not change, even now that i'm feeling better, not as depressed, i still love the style, it doesnt mean that somethings wrong
and hospitilization isnt all that easy, i've been in there 3 times, and you have to be suicidal, homicidal, or just getting out of the hospital for an eating disorder
otherwise, its more like a group home
i was in intense therepy for 3 months before anything happened
and theres always impulse control medication, it works pretty well. :]
just support her, remind her you love her and thatyour there for her
if you want more info e-mail]love.me.hate.me.13@homail.com
:] ↑ |
| Name: riki | Date: Jun 11th, 2007 11:34 PM |
| a cry for help my ass! no it is sorta, but we hide it cause we need help but dont know how to get it. help is hard to give, my parents freaked out when they found out. ↑ |
| Name: jess93 | Date: Jun 11th, 2007 11:50 PM |
| i am 14 and i went from being all prepy to goth in a year and ma'am i am telling you it probably isn't you i do the same thing but my mom thinks that they are cat sctrates. she is probably doing it because she has no way to get out anger or sadness, that is more common, or because she is having problems at school but comeing from experiance i know i don't do this because of my mom and seeing how worried alot of the people on this site are about their "emo" children i am gonna stop. my sugestion is get her something to punch like a bean bag cahir or leave her alone for a while and just let her cry. she may feel like she isn't cared about but just let her know how much she is loved. don't try and get rid of sharp stuff, my mom tried, she will just start using blunt stuff to sctrach until she bleeds and that will scar alot worse than anything sharp. it could be a phase but i may not be too. just don't blame yourself! ↑ |
| Name: teenoops | Date: Jun 12th, 2007 2:20 PM |
| a vacation. take her away from her friends for a while she'll enjoy it, i know from myself 15 years old and i use to cut myself, it was mostly friend issues so just take her away from the normal scene for a while. ↑ |
| Name: Jamesh | Date: Jun 15th, 2007 5:39 PM |
| Name: Julielette | Date: Jul 1st, 2007 4:09 AM |
| look these are all mothers that have good information but have they ever cut NO im only 15 but i do have good information i was a cutter for 2 years before my mom found out. and really i couldnt tell people the reason i cut half the time most of the time it was becuse i was mad at the world. i had to be in a hospital for a week before i finally stopped and still to this day after 2 years of not cutting its so hard for me to stop so ur daughter if she hasnt stopped she really need to have ur love and u need to go through her room get all her razors siccors anything she will hate u and cuse u but it is for her own good. your daughter well never hate u even if she says it so just do it. hug her tell her u love her so much and dont try and talk to her about whats going on becuse it will make her angrey and she will cut again im telling u this from experence. if u need anything else email psycholette6@yahoo.com ↑ |
| Name: xxcyndiboo | Date: Jul 2nd, 2007 4:02 PM |
hi.. how are you?
ok shes been hiding somthing and its making her feel inside of her self..like either shes intimidated or somthings bothering her. yea you say this might be a teenage pase but once shes use to it. she'll be doing it for the rest of her life.. the only way she can stop is if she admits she has a problem..yes im 14 and i may be young but i know alot about life for my age.. alot of people usually come to me when they need help and im always there.. this is somthing i love to do.. give advise and help people it makes me feel great but.. like i said im 14 and i have habbit myself.. of pickin my acne..im getting better but its still a little horiable.. now you may want to try to open up to your daughter. she maybe want you to be herside.. she may push you away and stuff and tell you she doesnt need your help when she really does...she will realize that you'll always be there for her but not at the moment.. keep trying..i jus started opening up to my mom and everything gets better..but she needs you.. try and help even if she THINKS she doesnt want it...ok well take car.. and be strong! bye ↑ |
| Name: kaseyLOVE | Date: Jul 3rd, 2007 3:04 AM |
| cutting is just a way of getting attention. ↑ |
| Name: Ashlea 88 | Date: Jul 25th, 2007 3:43 PM |
| put her in a pysch ward she may hate you for a bit but she will thnak you later.. sign her in a a form A or also known as a form 7 and you can get her out when you want unless they think it is serious they decide... ↑ |
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