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Name: Sweety [ Original Post ] I am 27 years old me and my husband were been together for 4 years now and ever since we already have my stepkids living with us. I have 3 stepchildren the eldest son (gay) is 18, the middle son is 17 and youngest girl is 10 years old... I took care of them eversince their mom abandoned them and she was no doubt a bitchy ex of my hubby before we left our country to migrate here in US she's been asking a lot of stuffs from us that includes money in return because she let us bring all their kids with us...one thing was she brain washed the children that i was the reason why my husband and her got divorced and ruin their family (which was all lies) the real thing was it's all her fault for being unfaithful and she's been dating a lot of guys while my husband is working here in US and sending money to them. I was in the picture after she abandoned the kids and she go away with her lover. But she keeps on brainwashing her kids that im the wicked and she's the good person. What hurts the most is that im giving my all to them more than what their mother did to them. I gave my money, my time and my everything to please them and make them feel that their loved and i don't care if their dad gives them more attention than mu hubby gives me. They're all sweet to me but not after they talk to their mom. I just found out that this bitchy ex was asking money from her kids and wants to go here too and i found out that she was asking the eldest to petiton her and live here... thick face lazy mom of them makes me sick... instead of she was the one who gives support to them. She' s giving me most of the pains that im feelin right now she's teaching my kids to hate me...me and husband were affected with the situation that we want to return them to their mom. Please help us we don't know what to do anymore... esp me i feel like disengaging with the situation. ↓

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Name: Jessie | Date: Jan 13th, 2006 5:46 PM

Hi, Sweety Step families can be tough. ( I know... I grew up in one...) The only advise I can give you is the advise that my aunt gave to my Mom when she married my stepdad.... Remember that no matter what kind or wrongs she has subjected her children to in the past..,the Ex is still the biological Mom of the kids and they will always have a certain loyalty to her, even if she isn't a very nice person. Sometimes that can be very hurtfull to you personally, especially if you are the one taking care of everybody. But remember that children and teens ( though they may not outwardly express it,) are not stupid.. and they know where their nurturing is really comming from ( you and your husband). Relationships may be strained right now, but I know that as the children get older, they will be more appreciative of the role you have played in their lives. As far as the Ex.... Despite what she says to the children, you know the truth of the matter. Don't let her intimidate you and don't let her use the children to upset you. Develop a 'whatever" attitude where she is concerned. If she tries to guilt you into sending her money, ....DON'T !!! You don't have to .... It's your money. If the children accuse you of breaking up their parents, simply and CALMLY say, " I think you already know that isn't true." and walk away. Once people figure out that you are not bothered by what they are saying, they will stop ! They are trying to deliberately upset you and get a reaction out of you. Fool them all by not letting on that you are upset This really works, I promise. It may take some time, but you will be much happier if you stick with it... Remember .... the attitude is...... "Whatever!!!" Enjoy your weekend ↑