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Is anyone out there dealing with the term "emo". My daughter considers herself to be one. Her dress and hair is outrageous, but if that was all that we had to deal with then there would be no problem, however, she is self mutilating , has quit going to school, I have quit my job to do homeschooling, it in itself has been a challenge but I know that it's the best decision that i've made for her, and i wish that i would have started it 3 years ago. She is very angry, sad, mad explosive, very mean to her father and I and to her siblings, but there is a side to her that is so loving and beautiful. I know that my daughter is in that body somewhere I am just trying desperately to find her once again. She will start theropy very soon within the next few days, I hope that it will shed some light as to what is wrong and how to deal with it. I have been researching the music that she listens too and I am so ashamed and angry, I wonder if these people really know what they are doing to our children by putting terrible negative things in there heads? I know that my daughters problems are not just from the music but it certainly didn't help her. Is anyone out there dealing with anything like this if so I would really like some advice and help.
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My son uses the EMO term too,he's a sophmore in highschool. He wanted to get the wacky haircut but I told him absolutely not!! So he opted for a nice clean cut I'd approve of,(thank God!) As for the music? My son listens to a great variety of it. He even listens to some German band. Some of the lyrics to some of the music is far from what I';d call appropriate but at the same time I don't think the music makes the kid either. For instance my son does really well in school and stays out of trouble and away from drugs and alcohol and cigarettes. The worst thing he does is gets sassy every now and then! I think there is alot more going on with your daughter. I don't know if therapy will work for her or not,it depends on if she is willing to open up in there or not,if not you are wasting your money! Try harder talking to her yourself. If you are in the right place alone and have the time needed together,maybe she might be willing to open up to you. But you have to be willing to listen to her and really hear what she is saying and believe her no matter what it is she has to say. Don't be quick to brush off anything she says just because you may not agree with what she is saying. Hear her out completely,she needs to know that you love her,believe her,are there for her and truly want to help her with whatever it is that's bothering her. It could be a friendship problem or a boyfriend problem,she could be getting made fun of or teased. She could be into drugs or drinking,she could be under alot of peer pressure,maybe a family member has hurt he in some way,it could be anything so be prepared for that. Plan a place and time for you and her to be alone together for a day,and maybe she will open up to you but be ready to listen. Don't get angry and don't assume or accuse,doing that will get you nowhere, I wish you luck! Keep me posted please!
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hello momof3dolls,
I just would like to point out that being an emo does not mean that you are a cutter. infact in most cases its the exact opposite.
Your daughter hopefully did not pick up 'the cutting trend.' this happens when a person gets involved with a 'stereotypical goth or emo' they tend to think act and behave just as they think those who hold emo and goth statures.
'goths,' 'emos' and other people who wear their clothing a certain way or listen to a particular music are showing thier hurt and pain on the outside which is a healthy coping mechanism.
since these terms have been construed as a cry for help labels as emos/goths are cutters is common. apparently its just the 'image that is portrayed.'
like any music the musicians are playing how they feel, on the outside, they may talk about cutting or suicide (which are two completely different subject matters) but its how they thnk they have to deal but instead out comes music. im not saying these musicians are not cutting, smoking and screwing everything insight but most likely its just a song to express feelings, not actions. And a big part of the reason there are types of music is because of expression. maybe one day you feel all warm and loving towards your man or woman and want to listen to country and the next you break up with them and to relieve your anger you want to know your not the only one that feels like they are comming close or have hit rock bottom.
i am not an emo or a goth, infact i could be put in the prep category at times, yet i have cut for seven years now (the past almost year now i have been trying to quit with the execption of a few relapses). i am not the exception. middle class "prep" teens are at the top of the at risk list.
its awesome that you are now homeschooling your daughter, of course shes going to dislike it, most children who have been in the school system have developed some kind of relationship with the people around them, even if it is just normalcy. if she was taking herself out of school, then she was to deal with homeschooling, she made that choice.
I was just curious about how did you know or find out about her SIB? (self-injurious behavior). How you found out does play an important role as well as how long she has been doing it and how you are trying to communicate WITH her.
If you ever want to chat I would like to keep talking with you. If I get to know a little more about your daughter and your feelings I could try and give you some advice, no guarentees, but I am a good listener :)
and last but not least i definately agree with lizzi on most of what she has told you. as for her opinion on the music making the child im not one so quick to agree. music, for me anyway, is my life, it makes me feel good when im down or expresses how i feel and why i may feel bad that day and its also there when im happy. who, what, when, where or why--doesnt matter when i have music.
Amanda
if you want post again on here or email me at amanda.slominski@und.nodak.edu
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whats EMO? we have goth here, but the kids are just wannabees and usually have no idea where or what originated goth..is this something im gonna have to be on the lookout for?
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i had never even heard of cutting until an episode of House and yet it seems to be an issue of sorts...is that a big trend / disorder??..in the us
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Marija-
To address your first question Emo originated from the music of EMOtional hardcore in todays world emo bands--
thrice
refused
thursd
ay
onelinedrawing
cohee
d
and cambria
desaparecidos
u
nderoath
saosin
comebac
k
kid
armor for sleep
copeland
have somehow became a fashion. Emo fashion seems to be expressive of how this type of music makes them feel. as to what kinds of clothes: check out this site, one of my friends sent it to me and said...amanda guess what...im an emo because he looks dresses and acts exactly in this way but by no means does he label himself one.
http://www.dobi.nu/emo/
How old are you marija? and what country do you live in?
cutting is in all countries a problem. Although the crisis seems the biggest surrounding the U.S as well as the U.K but again cutting is NOT widely talked about at all.
any questions dont hesitate to drop me a line.
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amanda, thanks for enlightning me
i asked my 15yo last night if he had heard of EMO and cutting
his answer...EMO is when your depressed and you cut your wrists.
my response...huh
i asked if there were EMOs at school and he said
"yeah..one cut him self and said it hurt so he doesnt do that. They mostly just hang around looking like dorks"
either his school is full of dumbasses and wannabees or these kids really do have identity issues. It seemed to me that these kids have heard about a certain trend and try to emulate them, but dont understand or havent lived through something enough to relate to being one. They just copy
Im in australia...all my teen nieces,nephews and my kids and friends kids are pretty open so i asked them on the subject and only one came back with it being about the music, the rest have no idea..they just think its a drab gothic offshoot.
Some of them had heard about cutting but again most kids think its the stupidist thing they had ever heard of.
I did ask my kids if they would consider becoming EMO or try cutting and i got the answer i hoped for...outright laughter and what the hell for.
Why do you think kids respond to EMO and cutting?
I think Australia is still a bit innocent at the moment. we have the same problems the world has, but the scale is low, our entire population is less than some major world cities.
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amanda i went to that site and i am totally surprised at the dress ...i think they look nice...i dont know what plugs are ( im assuming their ear plugs????) even there hearts and hates seem to be normal..im confused..It seems to me by that web site that they are just normal teens with different taste in music...i dislike all that stupid rap...not because of its music because i think the lyrics sexually degrade most women and now i have to reeducate my son about how to treat a woman when you start a sexual relationship and my girl how its not fair or right to become a toy for men. If emo is about music and relating to it, i can relate to that, i too was a teen once..music was everything.
i just showed my 15yo again and he said they look weirder than that..
are EMOs cutters as well..is that part of the fashion statement / lifestyle?
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im 19. the 'emo fashion/lifestyle' is not as a cutter there are those few stereotypes which educate some impressionable teens into thinking being emo means you cut. but this is NOT the case by any means if the person happens to be a cutter its not because they are emo.
You may have the most open children in the world but so was I. I dont want to scare you but I have had discussions where it was about something near and dear to my heart, my life, but i have also laughed it off. as for cutting its not easy to bring up and being directly ask, esp infront of others. im by no means saying that your children are lying or that they are cutters but if something consums you like cutting did to me... you do anything to hold on to it because you think that some people just 'dont want you to be happy'.
the term 'plug' refers to an "earring" that stretches your ear piercing size zero is the largest size you can get and althoug it is bigger generally looks like this O with the inside completely transparent. i had a friend who would hold a pencil where his washer or 'plug' was.
as for why kids reach out this way...
Emo-its a HEALTHY coping mechanism of daily stress
Cutting-it can be soo many different things from the sight of blood to know that you are still human/still alive to having the adrenaline rush releasing endorphins...
i know that this again is kinda short but i just got back from a mission trip and i have been trying to get caught back up with work. if you email me however i might just have a little more time :).
Amanda
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well I have learned some on emo recently.......
Emo are emotional teens. They release there emotions through tears some use cutting ( non emo teens cut as well)
music, poetry etc.
Most of the Emo's I have heard of have not been really close with their parents. It almost seems like something is missing. They are looking for attention, they Need the attention, they will not necessarily say so though.
Momof3dolls, the best thing you can do for your daughter( in my opinion) is continue to homeschool, remove her from the friends etc, fill her life with family who love her, listen to what she needs to say, validate her feelings and just love her.
Keep us posted.
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Oh I am not saying that you are not close with your daughter, just sharing what I have been learning, each is different......
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amanda
thanks for your reply. its okay about the kids lying..my kids lie as much as the next teen, my two are pretty immature for their age. i do have worry's about them especially my son "teenage boy" post, but im keeping an eye on him. when i saw this i thought...great another thing to be on the lookout for. We live rurally so they are restricted as to where they can be or cant be..so i can keep them under the wing a little longer...my daughter lives with my brother at the moment because i kicked her out...she rings every couple of days to come home but im not ready to be a door mat again just yet..(i'll let her suffer a little longer..lol..my brother is a bitch to live with...still find it amazing his wife is with him.) so we still have the teen issues. I have always been open with them even when it embarasses them. i believe if you dont open the possibilities of things going downhill then you cant cope with them if they do happen and hopefully my kids will know the consquences and responsibilities of those actions. I cannot stop what they are thinking, i cannot foresee if they take an addictive path or a dangerous path all i can do is educate myself and inform them as best as i can...then cross all fingers and toes and ...HOPE
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At the risk of feeling studid, I don't know what "emo" is as a term......? How old is your daughter?
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Nevermind, If I had actually scold down I would have worked it out. Duh....
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I've just read all of the comments and wanted to answer some of your questions and also to reply to some of your comments. First of all I am really glad that I've found this message board I know that it is going to be a great help to me. Amanda you asked me how I found out that my daughter was cutting herself, I was waking her up for school, I sat on her bed and cried, she hugged me and was very upset that I was upset, it was a very emotional moment for the both of us. My girls are my dolls, they are such gifts to me, it just blew me and still does. Winnmom, thank you for the positive feedback, that is what I need at this point. We are taking this one day at a time, my daughter had already distanced herself from most of her friends and missed so many days of school that she was not going to pass the school year. I went to the school system, asked for help and the only responce that I got from them was that I would just have to waite and let it go through the court system, that was the end of last school year. I took her to our family Dr. and she was put on Zoloft. She continued to miss school but her mood seemed to change,,,,,but her sleep patterns were still way off, she stayed awake all night slept all day , then one day she said mom I think this medication is making me not myself and I don't want to feel like this anymore, I listened and told her that it was OK for her to stop taking it. I thought that things would be OK, I listened to the advice of the school system to let someone else decide the fate of my daugther if she didn't go to school. One day I just realised,,,,,,waite a minute I"ve got to do something myself,,,,,this cannot go on any longer,,,,,,,I'm not doing everything that I can to help her and she needs me,,,,,,,it was the most adult decision that I have ever made in my life, I stayed online all weekend long,,,,,,researched everything,,,,,typed up the letters to the school system ,,,,,bought the curriculum,,,,,,,made the calls,,,,,,found her some treatment made the appointment for that,,,,gave notice to my employeer and here we are taking one day at a time,,,,,it's very hard, she is in the 10th grade and I"ve been out of school for 20 years,,,,,but we are taking it day by day. She is smiling, I haven't seen any new cutts,,,,thank God, and she even wants to paint her room and take all her posters down, I didn't even bring it up she did,,,,,,it is my responsibility to raise my daughter to the best of my ability to be the healthiest, happiest most productive person that she can be and that is what I plan to do. I think some of you mentioned drugs,,,she has experimented with drugs, but before I took this on I did random drug screens, she was telling me that she was not doing any drugs and I wanted to make sure that her behavior was not drug related. One of you commented that whatever she told me to just listen and not be judjemental,,,,,,,,my children could tell me anything and I would never judge them, that is the way that I teach them to be as individuals and that is the person that I am.
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momof3dolls
**huge hug to you**..i think you are doing an incredible job, I would like to think thats how i would handle the situation if it occurred. Whatever the outcome (and i hope only the best for u)
Know that you did your utmost showing your kids how much you love and care for them. good luck to u and yours.
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momof3dolls,pat yourself on the back! You are doing EVERYTHING you know to do,great job! And it looks like it's paying off! I'm glad she came to you about the zoloft,I've heard bad things about that one,some have committed suicide on it. Prozac is much better and safer,i take that myself!
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that is so weird that you mentioned this. It wasn't toooo long ago that I was in high school and we did Not have EMO then. But my brother is 13 years old and just the other day I was asking him about one of his friends and he told me he doesn't hang out with him anymore cause he went all "EMO". I was thinking, "what the heck is that?????" lol....now I know. thank you!! :-)
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Momof03dolls
It really sounds like you have everything heading in the right directions, that is so wonderful.....
I was/ am going through kind of the same thing. The things you are doing is similar to what we have done and I tell you it has helped so very much. The differences are huge !!!!
No matter how hard things are now, remember it is not forever and one day your daughter will look back and thank-you for all you have done for her.
No matter what our precious children do-go through- need- we need to be there, just like you are doing now.....
It sounds like you are a wonderful mother, I do not pop into this crowd often I am usually in stay at home moms, drop in if you feel like chatting, and I will come back here as well and see how everything is going for you.
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EMO stands for emotional, so tahts exactly what she is, try and find out whats wrong and fix the solution.
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EXCUSE ME! emo kids are not that bad, and anyway im an emo teenager..... why is it any of your buisness! i mean comon get a life and let your kid live hers! do you have to know evrything about your doughter? i mean it's her life not your!
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I agree, lil_emo_depression
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Look, Mothers! Those wonderful haircuts aren't wacky!! What world Are you living in???
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I am alot like your dughter from what you have said. However, the reason I do the "self mutilation" is because I feel like it's the only pain I can control!! The best thing you can do for her is leave her along, DO NOT question her!! She will become VERY upset, and go away and she'll more than likely end up cutting again. Don't take her music, that is another way to express how you feel. When she gets upset she goes and BLARES her music doesn't she?? She's trying to get you to listen to the words and she thinks that if you listen you'll begin to understand!! I changed schools, because people became soo crule, I still cut though. It has become an addiction. I can not stop. I am 12 going on 13 my mother has sent me to 3 counclers, and all they have done is made it worse. She will inot confess anything. Most emo children feel alone and wont to be alone. Try to talk to her but dont question her constintly. If you have any quaestions, i would be more than happy top answer them for you...my email is....
black_roses_n_death@yahoo.com
.:*Fallen Angel*:.
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Hae
You may nt find this vry help fully but this is coming from someone hu knows exactly how your daughter is feeling, hu i am is immatetrial.
Ok so Emo, is another Steriotype, how ever your idea of sitting down and talking to your daughter is not a good one, Emo's dnt usually tell people thur problems unless its their closest frend.
The whole cutting wrists thing can be brought on by depression, or sadness, because it feels good or sometimes Emo's can make up things that they think they should be sad about and then just cut themselves thinking they are worthless or useless.
As for the music, it probably doesn't play a very big part in her attitude changing and violent behaviour, just leave and let her do what she needs to do, however if her cutting gets to bad you will to step in, apart from that i'm possitive its just a time of her life where she wants to be different of maybe all her frendz are doing it, she'll be fine.
Just keep you distance and if she wants to talk to you or tell ou something that bad she will :)
Ace
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I agree with the ppl above me, us Emo's arn't as bad as u parents make us, just back off a bit, and those hair cuts are awesum!
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Hey I'm Mimi I was looking for an emo chat room and came across this. I'm emo and I'm 15 so I might be able to help. If she is really emo and considers herself as emo She is suppose to be emotinal. Emos just have a diffrent way of expressing how they feel and sometimes don't know what they feel. They mostly like to be left alone when alone. I usualy stray from my friends just to get away and think. and for the theropy thing I'm not sure but most people really don't like to answer questions that have to do with them. It might work it might not. Basicly your daughter is who she is and you have to love her for that, and not try to change her. If it is a phase or something she will grow out of it on her own. I hope I helped ~~~~~Mimi if you need help or have any questions email me okay sad_rejected_soul@yahoo.com
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Hi...My daughter who is 14 was also trying to be "emo"...I found out about it after talking with one of her friend's mother...I knew something was wrong with my daughters behavior...but didn't know what...she was cutting her wrists...wearing black...staying in her room with her curtains closed...very moody etc...just thought it was adolescence...but this is much worse...I informed the school she goes to about this...and they didn't seem to have a clue what "emo" was...even the counselor didn't know and she counsels at the middle and high school level...pretty sad they didn't even know...since I had a talk with my daughter...she seems to have a weight lifted off her shoulders...and I believe she got this info on "emo" from kids at her school...I had never even heard of it until now...and I've raised 3 other children...a new fad I guess...but not a good one...am hoping I have her on the right track now but only time will tell...if you want to talk with me...please contact me at ladybug55552001@yahoo.com..We've never really had any problems with her until now with this emo thing...scared the hell of her father and me I can tell you...it can get to the point where they don't eat lunch...try to throw up...my daughter was even sleeping in the bathroom by the toilet...I knew something was up but didn't know what...very frustrating...look up on google...emo...and you will be shocked with what is going on...also urbandictionary.com...and type in the search box...emo kids...and cutters...read about all that...pretty scary stuff...and the school had no clue...we live up north and they tend to "sit on their hands" and hope these things will go away...don't like change and don't want to deal with these issues...well I'm a mother and they WILL deal with this...because I know my daughter got this from someone at this school...so there are other kids doing this..one school up near us even sent home letters to the kids parents ...of the kids whom the school thought or knew were into this emo thing...so how could my school not know?...Anyways please contact me and let me know how your daughter is doing...I need to talk with someone who is going thru this and see how best to handle it...thanks and have a great day...Diane Langan
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i like willys they r cool
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I'm a 15 year old girl from Australia. After a pretty rough childhood in year 6 I started cutting myself and doing other pretty bad things to cope, as it was the only way I knew how. I was little miss popular, so obviously I had to hide it from everyone. Things just got worse from there. In year 8 my mum finally saw the cuts, and she panicked and started overly mothering me, and putting me through all kinds of therapys and stuff. I can tell you that was not what I needed. Because of all that was happening in my life, and I had a friend who was in almost the same situation, we started hanging out with the goths, which then led us to start the 'emo' group. I no longer had to fake who I was and we all tried to help each other. Unfortunately this isn't the case in most places, a lot of 'emo' people will bring their friends down.
I think my mum should've responded a completely different way. Instead of assuming she understood how I felt, I think she should've just asked if I wanted to talk about it. I think teens in situations like that need someone to talk to, but parents have to understand that it can't always be them. Music can indeed be a problem, but for me it was more of an escape - to finally have something that "understood" me and didn't let me down. You can easily gain a teenagers disrespect by telling them they can't see their emo friends anymore and they can't listen to their emo music. So instead maybe try to introduce them to other things. Religious or non religious youth groups. Tell them to take like one friend for support and stuff, but put them around more positive people.
As I want to be a psychologist, I pay a lot of attention to peoples thinking patterns and human behavior.
So I discovered:
Emo's become emo for a reason. Just like prostitutes, it's not like a little girl with a perfect life dreams to be a prostitute, you have to have a motive to be there.
There are a few kinds of emos. There are the emos that just dress emo but are quite content with their life (i go to a christian school and we have a few of them.), and if asked they will say that they're happy and stuff.
There are the emos that do it for attention. But then you have to ask yourself, why are they that desperate for attention that they would run a straight razor across their wrist?
There are the emos that have just conformed to this group for acceptance. This is common for people that just never fit in with the 'preps' or 'freshys' (popular people).
Lastly there are the emos that possibly had a hard life, or just have severe coping problems. Trust me, a parent will never know all their kids problems. These kids are serious about suicide.
In my opinion, they ALL need help.
Teens are extremely influence by the world around us. My mother went anorexic, so I did too. A boy I knews brother killed himself, so he hurt himself. Movies and music and I'm guessing video games too are very influential. This is the part of life were we have to 'find ourselves', but it's very difficult trying to find yourself when you're put under all the pressures that todays youth undergo, so we look for ways to cope. Self mutilation is a way to cope, and to survive in this world you need acceptance from those around you, hence where this whole emo trend came from.
So basically I'd say show your kids you love them and care for them. Offer to lend an ear and a shoulder to cry on, but don't force it upon them or they'll push you away.
Keep in mind i'm only 15, and I'm not the most intelligent of fifteen year olds =P but yeah hopefully this helped...
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i just signed up in this thing to reply to your issue. im not a mom im a teen and i ran across this as i was looking up some stuff on the internet.
i just wanted to say i went though this and i consider myself emo. i used to self mutilate. for about a year my parents did not know i did so. then they found out and freaked. i got a Counselor which i meet with each week. also i had to get a phycologest and go to rehab and all. which i hated at the time but now im very thankful for. i dont do any of that stuff anymore. if your stilling having these problems with your daughter as of this time becasue i see you posted this about 5 months ago. i would consider you getting her a Counselor and getting her on meds. for her behavior. i also got checked into a hospital and they would work on all my problems every day. i hated it sooo sooo much but it was for the best and now im better so it was deff worth it. if you would like to talk about this more i would love to help out you and your daughter so please e-mail me if you want to talk more about this. e-mail me at ubersmallunicorn@aol.com.
i hope i helped
-Jade
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you people dispise me except for the other emos here
*leave your kids alone on how they feel and act about stuff
*we do not cut on porpose it is a habit and addiction to some of us
*being emo is not a cry for help!
and you mothers need to get a life and some fricken better user names .......]xP motherofos
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Listen! your daughter is doing nothing wrong! emos are not somthing! emos are regular people. with alot of feelings! if your daughter is sad and angry, then you should know why! are there problems in your home? do you know anything about her realationship with guys? there are alot of reasons why people turn emo. emo is not something that you can say'' hey the guy i like is emo, im going ti be emo too!'' thats not how it works. your daughter has alot of reasons for what she has become. and let me tell you something ''peolple dont become something for no reason'' do you talk to her? is their always yelling around her? you should listen to ''soasin'' the song called ''voices'' that song will give you some awnsers of what i am talking about. the music is not bad! to tell you the truth, the music helps us. the words, the way it is in the rythnm and cutting your wrist is something that they do when they really feel alone. the music that we listen to is the only thing that understands exacly what we are feeling! let me tell you, im 100%emo! i love it because through everything that happens to me in my life i can show by writing! hate anger, love, depress,! you have to understand us ! the thing that i dont do is cut myself. and my own parents have problems with me ! not because im rebelbut because im always alone listening to my own stuff. my family has been through alot. almost divorce alot of yelling, alot of hitting alot of things that i though i would never go throgh. and this is what ive become. im 17 and i have never done grugs or drink. or ever cut.and im proud the only problems i have come from home. yes it hurts me i use to be a great daughter, loving im kinda still but i tried to change but thier is to mush damage in me this is who i really am. theropy is not going to help ur daughter. the only person that can help her............ is you!!!!!!!!! and if she cuts its because she feels alone and because she feels that she is not loved by anyone and she wants to die! get her out of that bubble, prove to her what she needs to know. love tania [/3 = emoxoxo
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iagree with the freedom of fear! emos are not a cry for help! so everyone fuck off ! you guys have no idea what we are going through! and if you have something to say to me feel free! e-mail me at punkchick_rocks_17@hotmail.com or CALL ME!!! 480 274-9930 tania [/3 emo!!!
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iagree with the freedom of fear! emos are not a cry for help! so everyone f#@$ off ! you guys have no idea what we are going through! and if you have something to say to me feel free! e-mail me at punkchick_rocks_17@hotmail.com or CALL ME!!! 480 274-9930 tania [/3 emo!!!
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Emo is infact a style of music [Emotionally charged rock] which has now developed into a label for anyone who has problems and shows it. Alot of people think that all Emo's self harm. This is true but not ALL do it, and not ALL self harmers are Emo. It's a unique style, similar to goth and punk, but it show's what the said person is feeling on the inside.
There are alot of people that call Emo's names, most of them being Chavs [these are the lowest of the low, the wannabe gangsters, they dress in tracksuits, mug people, listen to stupid over-rated music which sounds like a mouse on helium].
Can I just say one last thing?
LABELS ARE FOR SOUP CANS!
You kid's don't know what pain is, you think the world ends if a guy finishes you. GET REAL! Your grandparents were in the 2nd world war no doubt, they didn't know if they'd live, they had to live there lifes scared, starved, and in fear of losing their family!!!
I'm only 15, but for goodness sake you kids dont know your born!!!
Stop whining and live your life!
Anyone wants to reply?
Trixiluvzkyno@hotmail.com
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hey,
im here just to shed light from the teenage point of view.
im 16 and emo. i have outrageous hair, piercings and soon tattoos, but just because im emo it doesnt give me the right to act as if other people dont have feelings. your daughter mite be experiencing some very bad influences, the music you described sounds to me as if its 'screamo' this music does have alot of abuse and negativity but it wouldnt b the source of the problem.
your daughter mite be feeling as if she's being neglected by the family as she must of gone through some rough times she couldnt hadle in school for people not excepting that she's emo.
I suggest u and your husband sit her down and tlk to her. but dont say that your worried about her that has the same effect as saying 'now dont get angry' tlk to her about her being emo but dont criticize it. ask sensitive questions about it and try to understand this is her taste.
oh and to shed some light on 'emo' its origional name is emo-core mainly designed around the old bands such as rites of spring. and the fasion just comes along with the music.
hope this is of some help
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Hiya,
My name is Millie, I am 14, I also have outrageous dress and hair and you could say I follow this 'emo' trend.
I came across this page by chance, but felt that i should tell you what I think, as I come across these things every day.
Emos are not necessarily cutters; I feel cutting is a way that emo teens try to prove themselves as that sertain stereotype. I don't cut, I don't need to prove myself. i think that it could be a faze that she is going through, everyone 'emo' goes through a faze were they feel they have to prove themselves to themeselves or other people, including myself, but I got over it. the stereotype put on emos, i think is because of the few who do actually cut. Like goths, you imediately think that they wear just black; false, they are some of the most colourful people I know! There is someone I know who cuts for attention and for reactions from her fellow pupils, in which case, there is nothing you can do, apart from telling her how much it is affecting you. At least she told you, I never told anyone because after, I was so ashamed of myself, This is actually the first time i have told anyone!
and about her being faisty to people, everyone does! its hormones. I should know, i have MAJOR mood swings.
Anyway, I hope that everything turns out good, and I hope that I have put some light on the situation.
xox
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'emo' wasnt around 3 years ago.. its just a phase and fashion some teens are going through to 'fit in' with the crowd.. just like when spice girls were around everyone was 'teeny bopper'
stupid if u ask me.. they go on about how they are all individuals.. YET every emo i see looks the same.. anyways im prob gunna get bitched at.. but go ahead.
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im 14, and i have piercings and tattoos. theropy doesnt help. if she doesnt want to talk to you she wont talk to them. there is no differece. and if im wrong please tell me because somethings are just not ment to be told. the 'emo' fad with fade sooner or later. its just fashion going round again. its now the rebal stage for some kids. emo isnt actually a person. as you have herd. emo is a genre of music. but it has transformed itself into a actual person. if you have black hair. band t-shirts. things like that you are considerd an emo. which i still fight with. i get called emo 24/7 but its something to just look past and not worry about. 'prissy' people yell emo out alot. its nothing to be conserned about. the self harm stuff is abit worrying. but most teenagers dont do it to die. just to get attention. or they just cant do it. aslong as it doesnt get out of hand its nothing really. when my mum saw scars on me, she called it 'disgusting' but that didnt help at all. made it worse.
dont yell at your kids for it hey. it makes it worse and they just feel even worse about themselfs. and decide to slice into there flesh once more, but this time deeper. dont let that happen.
kay thanks bye :)
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why do teenagers all want to look the same anyway? I thought that they'd want to appear to be 'individual' and to be discovering ways of expressing themselves, not becoming mindless clones!
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i wouldnt say they are clones,
i admit some of them are.
Most teens don't know what they are.
I think emos are emos because peeps say they are,
not because they label themselves as it.
I also get called emo 24/7,
i never thought i was emo before.
And trust me, I am unique,
I make my own clothes,
and buy clothes on the internet.
xox
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In response to ur post...
Emo people are not bad at all. In fact, I'm an emo kid, only 12. I dont cut, but I have considered it at times. Emo, stands for emotional. People who are like this express their feelings in certain ways, like listening to a certain genre of music, and wearing certain clothes. They aren't different, although they do different things than other people. But this makes them very unique. Everyone has their own style. Expressing feelings like this, whether ur emo or goth doesn't make u a bad person. It kinda means like ur just helping urself relive stress. You could say that in most emos, it keeps you from the blade. Poetry is also good. I can't do much to help, but maybe lay off some questioning, and let her live her life.
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hellow! I have read what you have wrote and I decidet to answer bucause I had the same problems with my deother. First I would like to say sorry for my english. Problems with my deother started when she was 14 (she is 16 now). She tottaly changed her actitude all on the suden. She was such a nice girl and I was so poude at her. I don't even know when avtually all this started but she start to scream at me, she didn't talk to me, she was in her room all day long just listening to her music which was mostly sad or angry. I have 4 children, she is the 3 chiled and I was shocked becase I han't had that kinde of problems before. She was angry at the whole world, she started to cry widowth any reason. She had some kinde of periods: now she was smiling and in the other minute she was crying, and that was scarry. One day I asked her why is she acting like that and she sad: momy I really don't know. And I started to think if she don't know than who will? And with time it all just got worse. When she go in the highschoole everything become a nightmare. She started to hang up with some girl which was the same as her. They heed the class, she started to smoke, and she was outside every weekend, sometimes didn't even come home for 3 days. We had problems with police to. One year ago I caught her in the beathroom with a resore blede in her hand and short full with blude. I was so scared that she want to kill herself. She started to wear weard clothes all tered up and she wanted to have some strange hair cut. She called this "emo" style. But everything would be ok with me if she wouldn't become soo sad. She wasn't even angry at all. She was acting like everything is her fault she apologised for evertyhing, but the moste scarry was the way she said it. Usualy it was: Sorry momy I really didn't mean to do it, sorry, please forgive me, please, I'm sorry. How could I be angry if she almost cry??? I stared to ask around what could I do and nobady have the answer. So one day I just come to her room and started to tallk with her like we used to talk and she actually talk to me... she didn't give apologises and she didn't scream, she was just talking. So we speak about everythink, school, friends, she even told me where was she in the weekend. She said that she really don't know what is happening with her and she promes me that she will speak to me everytime she will get this weard filling. And it actually work, she called me everytime she need a talk, I said to her that I'm not gonna judge her but she have to tell me what she is doing and that she have to care about herself and I think that she really do. Well I have one problem right now with her that's why I'm actually here. 2 days ago she was locked in beathroom and she didn't come out for like a half an hour and when she did she was hiding her hands and go streight to her badroom. When I come in her room she just scream at me if I could leave her alone. An hour letter she come to me and start to apologises again. I said that I understand her and that everything is all right but it is not true at all. Yesterday she was in her room and I asked her for help and she started to screamig at me again. I have a feeling that I'm losing her again and that freakes me out!! Can enyone tell me what to do? I need a solution which will last longer. Help me, because I don't want to lose my dear dother!... Thank for all advices.
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i'v been there, im considered an emo kid, i've gone through the cutting at only 10, for people like us its the only way we get our frustraition out, we dress the way we do because we find its how we are, we dont like to be anyone else, but just calling your daughter emo dosent help either, she probly just wants to be herself, but also she may be going through depression, depression isnt just a state of mind, its a REAL sickness, and it DOES need to be treated, but you cant help her unless she wants to be helped, keeping her homeschooled IS a very good idea,but also,she may feel trapped, she might just want to be able to go hang out with her friends and just have fun. The music may somehow seem like its making your daughter worse,but NEVER take it away from her,music to a lot of emo kids is like a life line, it makes us just feel like someone understands, and everyone wants to be understood,right?. its easier to get answer from a teen that has already gone through it, if you ever want to email me, my email is.. jessekaforrest@hotmail.com i always check my email and i will definatly talk to you, or even i would talk to your daughter, it sounds like she just needs someone she can trust.
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Its seems to me "momof3dolls" that you are doing something
wrong not your daughter or she would not be Emo.(theres
nothing wrong with emo) Maybe you are spending to much time
with your other 2 dolls! ummm lizzi emo isent a cry for help
(someone explain that to her she seems stupied)(hate stupied
peeps) amanda.slominski emo is not defined through how
you speek and dress. I dress goth but im not entirely goth. I
have thoughts of suicide because my parents totally ruin my life
i hang out with emo's dont eat lunch listen to slipknot and
cradle of filth and your telling me that its fortold because im
wearing a My chemical Romance(love them!!!) shirt
and baggy black pants dont think so. In some cases Pain is
expressed through clothing. OUR music is a therapy it lets us
know were not alone(or at least makes us feel that way)
maybe your daughter is following a trend because she cant
fit in or maybe shes into that junk(i am) Here is some advice
back off. Did anything ever actually confirm she was emo
I would not know because i dident read your long ass
thing because your saying the same thing over someone take
over this conversation.
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ok at first, xxxvampireheartxxx thanx for the post its great ... secondly, im 15 (might be an important factor if you want to read the post)
i thought i might be able to help a bit out and give a bit more ideas about the term Emo.
Most people consider me emo because i wear "second hand" clothes or at least clothes that arent so fashion, i listen to emo/goth/metal/screamo music and actually look emo so ... go on then, i know im emo and i dont care weather others bug me because of that ...
i dont cut
i dont smoke
i dont take drugs
i dont follow what other people say (e.g. if they say all emos cut, i dont take notice of it)
I think its great that u parents are worried about ur kids but maybe you should try not to cling on them too much. My mother for example is clinging too much and trying to control my life and i feel this is the main point why me and my parents are "vegetating" into different directions and i start to not get on with them. Dont totally ignore us and let us do what we want but also try to NOT control our life too much and make our decisions.
momof3dolls its great that you are trying to be there for your daughter and actually doing homeschooling with her.
Yes, emo originally is the music (emotionally filled rock/hardcore music from the 80s).
are EMOs cutters as well..is that part of the fashion statement / lifestyle?
no emos are not cutters, and sadly this is a widely spread statement or way of thinking. Emos are not always depressed and natural cutters but as this "idea" of emos cutting is spreading out, new people who are wanting to be emo are starting to cut themselves. Cutters are people (of any kind .. goth/girlie/normal...) who have problems with theire looks or theire way of life. No, cutting is not an action to gain attention.
I dont see the way grown ups are thinking but i have heard the following quote from older people and id like you to know it:
"Its just a phase, it will be over when they get older..."
Many grown ups are of the opinion that this is just something to do with puberty/getting older. We are changing and our hormones are getting mental. We get sad without reasons, get hyper or just mad although nothin is changing. Many older people think this phase is only during the age 12 - 18 (teenage years) but of course i dont think its just a "phase that will pass".
I think if your kids start self-harming then its considerable to search up a psychiatric doktor and get some info+support and MAYBE make an appointment for your child. I think you shouldnt take the emo thing too tight. a HUGE amount of people think emos take drugs because of the fact that they ARE emo but think about it, there are much more "normal" people who take drugs or are convicted in smokind or other actions than there are emos who actually do these things.
Parents who have problems with your emo kids, try to show you understand them and ask them now and again if they want something (DONT EVER ASK IF THEIRE SAD OR DEPRESSED .. my mum drives me nuts with it). I believe your bond will strengthen if you listen to what they have to say without going mad and try to understand them.
Anyways, according to grown ups, this phase thing will be over after some years (not in my opinion anyways).
P.S. Its not the music that makes us feel sad or something, it just shows us that there are other people in the world who understand us and who have problems like we do.
hope i helped a bit out
P.S.S. If you have any questions or feel you would like to ask for advice/tips/just talk, dont hesitate to e-mail me.
xXblackxpinkxemoXx@hotmail.com
bay bay
xxx
[3
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Emo is a uk term...not sure if its used eslewhere...
Most emos are harmless (lol sound like im doing a nature show) it stands for EMOtional teen...and basically I think its tame punk goth....if you google emo, im sure youll find plenty of pictures...
I listen to emo music *SHOCK HORROR**** lol Panic! at the disco, is apparently an emo band...but i think theyr ace. lol
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geez...promblems?...it aint a problem, its just who she is..and a theropy? whats up with that?..i would be angery too if my mother told me to go have theropy. thats down right sad. just leave her alone. i feel sorry for her....you just dont get it do you
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[big] To anyone with an I.Q. of 20 or higher, you probably guessed that on my first post I was just explaining and actually sticking up for the 'emo' fad.
Yet i'm getting emails off some fucktards who seem to think the opposite.
And telling me, and I quote: you obviously have never been depressed, depression is a fucking sickness.
To anyone else that would like to email me concerning THAT issue, i'm actually diagnosed with Bi-polar Disorder.
So terribly sorry to disappoint you, but yes I do know what depression is, and guess what kiddos? Bi-polar is alot worse than depression.
So no more emails about that please, or tbh yr just proving how dumb you really are.
Second i'd like to make my point about this 'emo' thing more clearly.
There is a difference between depression and being depressed.
Some, and I mean only a few, of these 'emos' are depressed.
The rest are all just following a trend.
Now I don't know about yr daughter, but you didn't say anything about her having a troubled life, and in most cases, mental illness developes after a traumatic event/events.
E.g. child abuse. Divorce. Watching loved ones die. You get the jist.
I'm guessing this hasn't happened as you haven't mentioned it and if it had then it's a key bit of the puzzle.
So working on the basis yr daughter has had a 'normal' life, then this is simply another case of following trends.
Maybe she's very down at the moment, I don't know.
But you need to sit and think of any reason she could be acting this way.
Another thing, I think she needs to get out more. Not in a nasty way mind, but with home schooling yr social life tends to go down.
Maybe she could go to a youth club?
Where I live, there's a club for people who dress the way yr daughter does, because I actually am very like yr daughter, I know what she'll be dressing like...
Let's see.
Skinny black jeans?
Tutu skirts?
Corset tops?
Therapy is a good idea, it helps alot and could dawn some light on this situation.
But make sure she knows yr not palming her off on someone else, and that yr always there for her.
Anyone that would like to discuss this, not childishly have a go at me, can email me at
Trixiluvzkyno@hotmail.
com
Stevie
15
Female.
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xxxvampireheartxxx,
you calling me that just shows your immaturity level. And by the way,it looks like you need to take a GRADESCHOOL course in SPELLING! Hmm......oh that's right! you were too busy being rebellious and blamming your parents for ruining your life! What a BRAT you are!
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ok. at first, the term 'emo' was just a type of music. it has been blown waaaay out of proportion, imho. i am a teenager, under 16, and my mum seems to think that i am an emo. im not. definitely not. and she seems to think that i want to run away. i have thought about it before, but hasnt everyone?
and so many people have the wrong image of what emo is. panic! at the disco, my chemical romance and fall out boy are not emo. coheed and cambria, refuse: they are.
the ones who cut may dress like 'emos', and listen to 'emo' music, but they are probably cutting because they are depressed, not because they want people to think they are 'emo'.
recently, i found out that one of my best friends has been cutting for about a year, before the 'emo' trend became widespread. yes, she wears black jeans. yes, she wears black eyeliner. but shes not cutting just for the image. if anyone does, then they should stop. its not worth hurting yourself just to make you look good. its attention seeking, its pathetic, and you dont look good.
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I AM EMO! and i am proud to be emo.....and i cut myslef....and i listen to emo music......and when my parents tried to change me.....i just rebbeled.....and then i ate a bowl of frosted flakes.....the end
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hi to all, i'm just 15 n i'm emo ; i start when i was 12 i found in the emo society lot of love n peace but u know sometimes the ppl say it dangerous but it's not true, we r all good ppl romantic, melancolic, a full of sadness n pain just couse all the old ppl is deroying our world, is bad with us, ours parents hate us just cuse we r not wearing a toxido with a tie n learnin laws! we r in our own world, writting poems, singings ours songs may be ur daughter momof3dolls, do that yeah? may be she haerd alessana or from first to last or may be my chamical romance or panic! at the disco, they sing real things!!! well the poin it 4 all the mothers here WE ARE JUST ALL WE WANT TO BE, WE WON'T BE LAWERS OR THAT THINGS, MAYBE POETS, ARTS, SINGERS OR ACTORS N WE 'LL LIVE IN OUR OWN WORLD FULL OF LOVE N PEACE BUT IT'S NOT REAL (BUT I KNOW IT WILL) COUSE ALL THAT F*CKING PPL IS DESTROYING IT!!! so shut up and leave all kids, sons, daughters to be an Emo just couse we r romantic, melancolic, lonely, sad, angry as u think just becouse of u! i will be allways an emogirl n stop seing "i don't want to lose my doughter/son" all of u couse is all becouse of u n lot of ppl hates me 4 be one but well I'M EMO SO WHAT????? n don't try to fix it couse we r nor broken n my doctor end my teraphy saying:" well u r right if better if u still in that way" and shut up with that thing they need attention, i have all day attention but i'm not happy, i have all i want but i'm not happy n u know? U R NOT HAPPY TOOO!!!! SO SHUT UP N LEAVE US BE LIKE WE WANT DON 'T SEPARES US OF OURS FRIENDS THEY R LIKE US! N I KNOW U SMOKE, U HAVE PROBLEMS, U CRY IN THE DARK, BUT U R JUST SCREAMING AND SAYING "STOPI WEARING EYELINE" AS MOTHER BUT WEEL THAT ALL i still in my own n u still in your life n leave ur kids alone it's better in that way EMO IS A STATE OF MIND IS NOT FASHION i don't smoke, í dont drink i don't take drugs but i hate my self n my mother don't call me EMO, but i'm one n u parents make us !, i born emo n i 'll die emo!!!!!
CHEER UP EMO KIDS!!!!!!
lamigu_angel@hotmail.com
p.d. i'm sorry i can't be perferct! (as simple plan say)
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people seem to not understand things about being emo
or seeing emo kids on the street
see changing our outward appearences
doesnt always change the person inside
so moms, if your sons gonna get bangs
whats that going to do to him?
other than change his outward appearence
the whole world wants everyone to be the status quo
there are people out there that dont want to be
they want to be different
my advice:
stop trying to deal with it :)
just let her go
if shes smart enough to
be thinking on her own
im sure youve done a great job
of teaching her right from wrong
your not always going to be there for her
shes goign to have to learn how to
handle her own
how old is she?
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Why do you patronize us about it?
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].[
wow...you people are abit on the crazy side..
most of you 'parents' don't give most kids the credit they deserve.
so..first off..
there are 3 types of emo..
1.) music
2.) state of mind
3.) fasion
by state of mind, i mean, very emotional, i, for example, am emo, for all 3 reasons, i am pretty emotional, but i bottle it up inside, and i cut to relive the pain inside, because it feels good, not because i 'think its cool' its just my way of coping. BUT you don't have to be a massicus to be emo..if you look emo, your emo..period..
second,
'marija' you are pretty stupid, from that last comment you made...about 'kids being posers and not even knowing where goth came from' you really think kids are that stupid? your stupid if you think that..
MOST kids actually have the thinking capacity on and above most adults, you might not believe it, but its true...remember i said MOST..because some of those stoners are pretty..messed up...
now..to your question 'Momof3dolls'
The music you listen DOESN'T force you to do anything, it doesn't put negitivity in your head, its just music, if it 'does put something in your head' that means it was already there..the song just helped it along...
why do you have a problem with your daughter dropping out of school? i know, you want whats best for her, but its her choice, her life,yes. you wrote that to help your daughter, but have you ever stopped and thought.that maybe she has an idea, maybe she had problems in school? maybe she has issues in your house, that everyone keeps from you? i know, i keep stuff from my mom now, because i feel like if i say anything, it will hurt her feelings, i hate making people feel bad, especially people i care for, and love...
this might not have helped or changed your minds, but..it was worth a shot.
by the way,
i live in the USA,Texas,Spring- I am 15 years old, and i am emo.
My name is ashton, and i am not just emo, i am also goth and proud of it...
If i offended anyone, i am terribly sorry...
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None of the parents here follow there own advice. Look at the others point of veiw. All parents do is hit and yell. See "please Help", to see our point of veiws, and please comment, as long as it is not vulgar.
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oh wow you parents are clueless! My name is Jared, im 17, bisexual, im "emo" I LOVE music it is my life. Why dont you people just let ur kids be what they want to be? And as for cutting, its just a cry for help. If they cut there must be something wrong, you need to talk to them and not judge them by they way the dress or do their hair or what kind of music they listen to. Its our way of life and you are just going to have to deal with it. P.S. - tell ur emo kids to add me on myspace
www.myspace.com/2
manyscars2count
haha
goo
d
luck trying to change ur kids LMAO
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why do kids think parents arent individuals also...Its you and its us...sorry but adults are not all the same...grow up!
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My Daught also refers to being an "emo". My daughter has called herself one since she was 9, now she is 14 almost 15. It's really nothing to worry about unless she is on the bandwagon with all the "wemos" as my daughter puts it. Wannabe emos, these tend to think that to be emo you HAVE to slit your wrists and things but that is NOT what an emo is. I do agree that the music is rather hurrendous and that I shouldn't let my daughter listen to it, however she is very stubborn as are most teenagers and will not stop listening to what they want to listen too. The best thing to do about it is to just leave it be but keep a back seat eye on her. If you come over as very strong and over powereing I don't think she will ever listen to you. About the mutilation thing, has she stretched her ear piercing? Don't worry as long as she has done it sensibly it will do her no harm and will grow back if she decides she doesn't want it anymore. Take her to an anger manangment course, my daughter went to one because she was doing all the things that your daughter is doing now. It helps alot and it gets them out of the house doing something productive too. She is still there as you sy but shes just growing up and we all know going through our teenage years we are finding our feet and I just guess us lot have gotten on the bumpiest rollercoaster. It will calm down soon, don't worry my daughters still not an angel as suc but she is much better than before.
Hope this has helped
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My name is Christina, im a teen, im "emo".
Listening to any type of music wont do anything... it wont push negative thoughts into anyones head, except if they're already there.
Being emo doesnt mean all you do is cut your wrists, however it might become an addiction, and yes it is hard to stop. I started cutting, and my parents didnt know anything, and when they found out they freaked, and all they did was make it worse... cutting doesnt mean people do it because they think its "cool", we do it because we really know how we feel inside.
Dressing emo doesnt hurt anyone; it just changes the appearance, and thats just the way we are, and dying your hair/ changing hairstyles is no big deal. Changing appearance doesnt mean you change whats inside.
If you've quit going to school, it might be cos of the poeple...if they dont respect you and everything.
As other people have said, us emo's arn't half as bad as parents make us seem.
And yes, Im not necessarily close with my parents, but i have the most amazing friends ever, and they supported me when my parents didnt.
And to all parents out there: the more you disagree with your kids, the worse you make it for them... leave them do what they want and think is best for them, youre not always going to be there.
My hotmail add: wbemo@hotmail.com
Emo and proud.
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I am not trying to contradict you but the music isn't what is doing it. when i am angry or sad and feel like i am gonna end up hurting myself i play stuff like anti-flag, or bullet for my valentine and somehow it makes me feel better. the music helps us know that people are going through some of the same stuff as us so i highly sugest not taking the music away cause it will probably just make her angrier.but that is just my personal experiance and it may be different for her
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momof3dolls.... well i dont know what to say but ssrsly gtfo like all teen trends there just that teen trends that will eventualy pass the fact that u have a problem with what your daughter wears and how she looks or what she listnes to is ridiculous if you were a half decent parent it wouldnt matter if she wore all black or dressed liek a prep things like this are pathetic maybe you should just give up and pay more attention to the other two because quiting your job to home school is only feed your daughters addiction to attention not to say u shouolnd t pay attention but what your doing is over reacting ...you ma'am fail at life...as a parent so plxor just give up get your job back and let your daughter do what she wants ssrsly...
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OMFG QQ MORE YOU NOOB WHY CRY ABOUT IT IF YOUR LITTLE CHILDREN MAKE A LIFE CHOICE GET OFF MY BACK.
LET THEM DO THEIR OWN FUCKING THING IT MAY HELP FOR ONCE.
Also stop QQing it doesnt help at all.
The only thing you need to worry about is if they start liking Mudkipz and going Anhero on your ass.
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hey, im 13, im emo, n wot i say is this: if ur daughter reli believes herself to be an emo, then allow her to do so, understand this is what she wants to be, but let her know that her behaviour towards you and her father is un-acceptable, if she continues this behaviour simply take away her priveledges...also ur daughter might be acting this way for attention, pay more attention to her-show her ur interested...im sure shes in there somewere, im emo but i treat my parents and friends with respect. gud luk xoxox
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wow...okay, im Jimmy and i am as "emo" as any of you are talking about. when i stumbled across this happy little forum i noticed there weren't much response from the OTHER side of this argument. i would like to say, i think your all getting the wrong idea of EMO. as someone said, it is infact EMOtional. but this means we show our emotions, we are not like the prepy popular kids who always try to act tough. when we hurt or when we are angry or even scared we show it. But most importantly is the music. I noticed alot of you complaing about this horrible music we listen to. But it is usualy just how we feel inside. That is to say, we are so angry at the world we listen to a song about killing. Of course we like cussing in our music just because it usualy adds strength to the meaning. Im all for good clean bands like Linkin Park (my favorite). But i like a little bit of Deathstars, Slip Knot, and Disturbed in my diet as well. As for the clothing and hair, its who we are. I am a boy, and i do wear eyeliner. I am not gay. My hair is (mostly) jet black and my pants are actually girl's pants. I have had a history of "cutting". But you all as parents are putting this in one big huge heaping pile. When i look at a problem i like to seperate it into peices then fix it bit by bit. The first step from your perspective is to seperate a persons violent(self inflicted or otherwise) history and the way they dress. We dress to stand out. We dont dress for the attention though. We dress differently so we can have nothing in common with the people that hate us for being different on the inside to the point of showing it on the outside. I just wanted to try to help you guys in understanding this and i'll try to be as open as i possible can. ~jimmy!
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I am emo and all of you make it sound way worse than it is, I agree with what jimmi-rodero said he is appsolutely right. O and by the way as long as your doughter isnt dressing like a slut you should let her dress how she wants and have her hair like she wants. Give your daughter a little space to make mistakes and learn from then cause if you try to get in the way of that she is just gonna pull farther away from you untill you no longer have a relation ship with her anymore thats what my mom did and now i simply dont speak to her its sad when your only 15 and cant get along woth your mom so dont let that happen to you and your daughter.
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