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My daughter is 15 and has expressed to me that she hates her stepfather and wants to live with her biological father. The ironic part about it, is that we have been a family for 10 years now. She has been rebelling since my husband and I had our 2 and 4 year old children. She barely speaks to him or me. She mopes around all day. I have tried everything from grounding her to kissing her butt. Nothing works and its breaking my heart. ↓
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| Name: Helen | Date: Aug 18th, 2005 3:41 PM |
| If anyone has any advise or has gone through this kind of teenage crisis, I am ALL ears. ↑ |
| Name: Anna | Date: Sep 30th, 2005 9:09 PM |
| I have been divorced twice, have an almost 16 year old girl and my current husband that I have been married to for 3 1/2 years are having a baby. When my daughter was 6 I was married to my second husband and just had a baby girl from that marriage. The girls got along fine but sometimes my husband was strict and expected more from the oldest girl. When she was 9 years old she insisted on going to live with her Dad. At first I didn't want her to go but after many arguments I finally let her. She lived with him until she was 12 and I was re-married and then wanted to come back. Sometimes I think she thought the grass was greener on the other side but once she lived there for awhile, had to deal with other children and couldn't always get what she wanted, she realized that life with Mom wasn't so bad. We talk about it sometimes and mostly she just wanted to see what it was like to live with them. It was hard to let her go, but by letting go we became closer. We are like best friends but she still knows I am the Mom. It is never easy when dealing with step-families and ex's. I worry sometimes that this baby will make her jealous or resentful but I try to stay active in her life, envolved in her school activities and listen when she wants to talk. This age is definitely the hardest but keeping the communication open is the most important thing. Take care and good luck. ↑ |
| Name: skinnymarink1@yahoo.com | Date: Nov 13th, 2005 12:12 PM |
| same situation, I raised my for 13 yrs. alone, I finally got married, my boy hated my husband, in which I seperated with my husband because of this. My husband wants me back, but if I take him back, my boy threatens to move in with his father, his father never took an interest in him before, I love my son, but I also love my husband, I feel very stuck in the middle. Should I let my child threaten me, or should I go back to my husband. I feel very stuck ↑ |
| Name: kelly | Date: Dec 1st, 2005 9:16 AM |
| why do u kiss her butt she is a bit old to have her butt kissed and its horrible to think that a 15 year old has her butt kissed. ↑ |
| Name: Brittany | Date: Dec 2nd, 2005 9:25 PM |
| I hate my real dad so she's not so bad off. ↑ |
| Name: tired mom | Date: Dec 16th, 2005 12:30 AM |
| My son is also showing ALOT of attitude towards my husband with is his step father of 6 years we also share 2 children. He has everything from mood swings to outburst, bad grades ( up and down) I believe for attention. But this is starting to put a strain on my marrige and I'm feeling pulled in two directions and very LOST so to speak. ↑ |
| Name: Angela | Date: Dec 20th, 2005 9:34 PM |
| All teens hates their step fathers and mothers because they think their real parents will forget about them. She probally also thinks that he gives them more attections because there his biological kids. ↑ |
| Name: bianca | Date: Jan 3rd, 2006 10:39 PM |
| the last thing you want to do is ground her for not feeling loved. talk to her as a friend, do things with her. i know shes at that age where kicking it with mom is so lame. but it wont hurt to try. just listen to her. ↑ |
| Name: sara boo | Date: Jan 4th, 2006 2:48 AM |
| hi i am 15 and i hate my mothers partner soon to be husband, he has interferred with everything that he shouldnt have and it finally seems he is breaking me and my mum up, we used to be so close but he is making her change the way she wants to bring me up even though she is the most wonderful mum, im soryy to say, but when us teen girls hate someone this much there is no turning back! ↑ |
| Name: anthony | Date: Jan 21st, 2006 4:22 AM |
| Name: DeeDee | Date: Jan 27th, 2006 6:27 PM |
| I'm living your nightmare almost to a "T". I just learned that my 15 yr old son and his biological father had devised a plan, a sure-fire way for my son to quickly exit my home and move in with his Dad. My X, for years, behind my back, has been grooming my son to hate me by telling him horrible lies about me (things I supposedly did while pregnant with him, while he was 1, 2...you know, lies that I can't disprove). He even went so far as to tell my son that I wanted to abort him simply because he wasn't a girl. Anyway, prior to their attacking me personally, they attacked my current husband by saying he was abusive to my son. When that plan didn't get the response they wanted, they fiercely turned the false allegations on me (saying that I beat my son all the time, etc). Lord knows NONE of this is true, however, my X and my son have threatened to take me to court if I don't agree to my son living with my X permanently now. As sad as it was, I was forced to give my son to his lying, manipulating, heathen father. I have other children in my home and have to protect myself as well as them. My teen did this to me for his own personal gain as his father is weak and will let him do whatever he wants - right or wrong. My advice to you is to seek professional counseling NOW before you are literally forced to do what I just had to do. They literally forced me to hand over my son out of self-preservation and to protect my other three children from the possible horrible outcome of having to go to court to prove myself innocent. Girl, find out NOW what's really going on in your teenager's head or you may regret it as much as I do right now. Unfortunately, judges do listen intently to lying teenagers and they will believe every word. Hell hath no fury like a teenager with a grudge because Mom remarried. His father never remarried so making my son hate me has been and still is his only hobby. Once my son matures, I can only hope he will see how much he has hurt me. Good luck with your teenager. ↑ |
| Name: Olivia | Date: Feb 3rd, 2006 4:04 PM |
| Do not worry. I can tell you that I was like that at the age of 14. If you love this man then be happy. She will exept it in the end. ↑ |
| Name: krystal valente | Date: Feb 18th, 2006 6:01 PM |
| LET HER LIVE WITH HER DAD ↑ |
| Name: SANDI | Date: Feb 20th, 2006 8:09 PM |
| MINE IS 14, BEEN MARRIED FOR 4 MONTHS AND SHE HATES HIM. DOES NOT SPEAK. WHAT TO DO??? ↑ |
| Name: denise | Date: Mar 9th, 2006 12:49 PM |
| Helen just tell her how you feel about her ↑ |
| Name: denise | Date: Mar 9th, 2006 12:50 PM |
| Britany just tell him your feelings ↑ |
| Name: denise | Date: Mar 9th, 2006 12:51 PM |
| Name: Denise | Date: Mar 9th, 2006 12:56 PM |
| tired just hit him a caple of times and he will act right ↑ |
| Name: denise | Date: Mar 9th, 2006 12:58 PM |
| sara just put her on punchment for a month then she will act righet ↑ |
| Name: Lindsay | Date: Mar 9th, 2006 6:02 PM |
| Im 16 years old. I dont get along with my stepfather either. He isnt my dad and he tries to tell me what to do and when to do it. I dont like that at all. I feel like my stepdad is taking all the attention. You should talk to her like you are a friend, not like a mother. That helps. I wouldnt ground her or kiss her butt, but talk to her. Make sure you spend quality time with her, too. ↑ |
| Name: brandon brinkley | Date: Mar 26th, 2006 12:05 AM |
| for a sixteen old black girl ↑ |
| Name: Lisa | Date: Mar 31st, 2006 9:53 AM |
| Let her go live with her dad and see if she improves.She probably feels that you love your other kids more than her (which I know thats not true),but she is a kid and kids feel hurt easily.She probably sees the happiness and love and attention you give the little ones and feels a bit jealous and left out.Whenshes older she will look back and see how silly this was but for now its very real so let her go live with her dad awhile and dont worry she will eventually come around!!! ↑ |
| Name: karen | Date: Apr 3rd, 2006 1:02 AM |
i have the same situation with my 16 year old.
she has no reson to be mad. shes just creating problems. ↑ |
| Name: cheyenne | Date: Apr 3rd, 2006 2:31 AM |
| shut up slut and get a new man becuz kids always come first get rid of him now before its to late ↑ |
| Name: It depends | Date: Apr 3rd, 2006 7:41 PM |
| My best friend hates her step dad but that's cuz he's an asshole. I've met him once & he seemed nive but she insists that he's an ass so I believe her. But my best friend learned 2 deal w/him so I guess they R cool now. But she dealt w/it herself so I say that U leave ur daughter alone & let her grow up & learn to respect her step dad. Whether she likes him or not, (if he ain't a bad guy) then she shud at least try to deal w/him... ↑ |
| Name: Julie-May | Date: Apr 6th, 2006 8:34 PM |
Sounds just like a typical teenager to me - regardless of whether he's her stepfather or not. Maybe you shouldn't rise to the bait - if she wants to go then tell her OK. BUT she's not allowed to take anything her stepfather bought her (those new jeans etc) her biological father will have to re-supply her wardrobe! My mom once stopped me going out with a bad lad by refusing to buy me any new clothes for the length of time I was with him. She stuck to it and after 6 months he was moaning at me about wearing the same old stuff all the time. I dumped him for the sake of fashion.
Personally I'd only reward good behaviour and punish bad behaviour financially. Hope this helps. ↑ |
| Name: Kayla | Date: Apr 9th, 2006 9:00 AM |
I'm 17, and have experienced both an arshole of a step father, and a biological father who chose his wife (my step mother) over his own kids (though that was several years ago now and has now came to his senses). Im not sayin get rid of the step father, but just don't ignore your daughter and definately don't abandon her for him (like my dad did)! At 15, i was always rebelling against my parents and especially my step dad because he always treated me like crap. I'm not saying i don't fight with him anymore, because it would be abnormal if a family didn't have its occasional fights. The key thing, though, is communication my mum is always there to talk to me when i have problems with either of my dads. To get your daughter to open up to you and tell you whats wrong, you have to open up to her. Be a friend, as well as a mother. Don't be judgemental, be a listener. And maybe, hopefully, eventually, the same friendship could form not only between you and your daughter but her and her step father.
On the other hand, my sister was so sick of my step dad, he was such an arshole to her- always and i mean always, yelling at her. She now lives with our biological father, and hates it there too. Even though she is spoilt rotten as an only child, she still misses her mum and has problems at school. Moving in with our father seemed the best, because like they always say the grass is always greener on the over side. She has no idea what she wants. But the only way for her to know what the 'other side' was like, she had to experience it. It is now she realises, no matter where she lives she's gonna have problems.
Next yr she is moving back home.
I don't know exactly what your family is like. like if her step dad is mean to her etc, It differs with families. But communication is always a start. It worked for me, so i help it can be helpful for you Helen. Goodluck. ↑ |
| Name: jim | Date: Apr 15th, 2006 4:56 PM |
| my girlfriends daughter does not show respect for me or her mother. The only time she talks to me is when she wants something. She constantly says your not my parent, but her father has nothing to do with her and does not care about her. What am I to do. ↑ |
| Name: Alexander | Date: May 1st, 2006 5:14 PM |
| Helen I'm a step father. And being on the other end of the hatred, I would tell her to live with her father. Kids now adays think they can run thier parents lives, which alot of them are doing, due to parents have lost thier backbones. When I was growing up, we didnt dare act like this it was the parents way, or no way . Right now as I speak, my wife and I are having alot of trouble with her 14 year old boy, who blames me for his mom leaving his father. He has had nothing but hate and vulgarity towards his own mom and once at me. He has lived with us for a year, and the pressure keeps growing in the house. So he is being shipped off to his fathers house next week. It was just time to put our feet down and take control. (it was either that, or I beat the kid down) And coming from a man whos step father that did that to me, its better to let him go screw up someplace else. ↑ |
| Name: Meredith | Date: May 15th, 2006 11:27 AM |
| I am a step mom to twin 17 yr old girls. One hates me today but will love and need me next week, i have been around for 14 years and hAve been here for it all and have 2 other children as well, but ya keep going wiith the family. the othern ran off to her mom and wants to come home. One lives with us and the other moved to her mom a year ago but nowwants to come home, just keep going and be firm and consistant, keep the family going let her mop and see what she misses by mopping. Be strong ,firm and consistant. Be Funny try to keep it light let her push and you be firm, it doesn't end but her running away will make it worse to let her go somewhere else. ↑ |
| Name: carl | Date: May 20th, 2006 4:23 PM |
| I think she has evrey right to that. I hate my stepfather so much as well. i cant wait till I get the hell out of this house!!! ↑ |
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