Name: melissa Title: kids can be so cruel...

My family and I recently moved to another part of town, and my daughter was forced to change schools. My daughter has been in a wheelchair for two years now after she lost her legs due to bone cancer. The kids have been making fun of her constantly and I just don't know what to do! Any suggestions?  ?

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Name: Shocked • Date: 06/15/2005 16:48:04

That's horrible!!! Have you talked to the staff at her school about this? It doesn't seem to me that this type of behaviour should be acceptable. I would seriously consider taking the matter to the school and encouraging some acceptance education among its students! Spending your life in a wheelchair, being physically disabled and the seriousness of cancer are just a few of the topics they could cover!!!  =

Name: melanie • Date: 06/15/2005 22:59:26

well melissa, depending on her age, all you can really do is support her and explain to your best knowlegde that those kids are ignoate to people who are different. and keep encouraging her to keep her chin up. i do know how you feel i have a son who is severly handicapped and it is very difficult. but one thing i can say is that it makes a stronger persaon of you and your child. feel free to e mail me if you woyuld like to just talk, sometimes it helps to just talk to someone.. melanie_stevens4@yahoo.com  =

Name: kelly • Date: 06/23/2005 00:59:19

well your situation is really hard and there is alot you can do about it. maybe by putting he into a skool of her choice. the only thing you can do is be there for her because at the end of the day her good frends and family will stay. and her lfe will get better  =

Name: kris • Date: 07/23/2005 01:13:25

I went through adolescence alone and hurting, isolated and bereft. Your daughter must be feeling the same.

Those children who are making fun of her should burn in hell as far as I am concerned. They are scum. Really.

The best thing you can do is just be there for her and make sure she has outside activities where she can interact with others besides her wretched classmates.
Demand that the principal put a stop to it. What is happening to her is a form of abuse and should not be tolerated.


God bless you and your daughter  =

Name: craig • Date: 08/18/2005 16:15:11

i am an adult whose life has been deeply damaged by the abuse from my father and from other children. i was picked on, ganged up on and humiliated by my so called friends. if you love your daughter, shop around for a really great school and get her away from the one she is in. the emotional scars that she is reciveing now will not heal. the other children can't be changed and if you don't get her into a better environment she could end up going thru life like i did, in fear and contempt of others. she needs a happy environment where she can hopefully learn to trust others and experience mutual respect.
whatever it costs do it for her.  =

Name: heather • Date: 08/23/2005 12:36:03

ok, you say that your daughter lost her legs but did you ever see if they could at least give her some confidence and give her fake ones? that way no one would know. i mean, i know you probably think its a stupid idea because she cant walk now but it would help her a little with the teasing and things she needs to deal with. and not only that, but your right, kids these days are somewhat mean but thats just a part of life, but they would make fun of her if she had a funny haircut, or something little and stupid. these kids only make fun of her for her legs because thats the only thing they know really bothers her. kids will say things to hurt other kids feelings to make them look better. just be there for her and tell her comforting words. no one can change whats already been done, and im taking it your daughter isnt a teenager yet, probably a pre-teen? but they will mature and treat her like she is normal, because they will come to realize that shes not different then any of them. good luck and best wishes.  =

Name: ninalitta • Date: 09/03/2005 00:57:42

Contact the school before she goes in. Tell them of your concerns,...talk to the teachers. It sounds like the kids need to be educated on your daughters situation. They need to see who she is. The Terry Fox Run is a great forum for this. It happens every September 2nd week. Look up Terry Fox on the web.
Other kids need direction when they feel uncomfortable, they need leadership and education, and empathy  =

Name: chrisitne • Date: 11/04/2005 20:31:41

hi, my daughers would love to have a pen pal, and I lost a friend as a child to bone cancer. if your daugher would like to have a couple of girls to email, our address is yourpamperedchefconsultant@yahoo.com. My daughers are very sensitive to everyone, and I'm sure both parties would enjoy the interaction.  =

Name: tasha • Date: 11/06/2005 00:25:45

sorry about your luck  =

Name: megan • Date: 11/15/2005 16:53:09

hi  =

Name: megan • Date: 11/28/2005 22:49:53

i think that you should tell ur daughter to have faith in her self whe n she goes to heaven she won't have to go througha ll that stuff  =

Name: thlia • Date: 12/28/2005 18:30:50

some times poeple are so lonley they feel lik  =

Name: jasmine • Date: 01/01/2006 14:18:48

me and everybody can be friends if they are going to be nice  =

Name: Sierra • Date: 01/20/2006 09:44:36

Hello Wuz up  =

Name: jj • Date: 02/01/2006 21:19:16

hi  =

Name: Stephanie • Date: 02/02/2006 18:22:08

As a teacher I believe that a little education of the "other kids" can go a long way to help this situation.
I hope that the kids who are doing the taunting are disciplined by the staff as their behavior is highly inappropriate and disrespectful to anyone, regardless of the situation.

I had a girl in my high school biology class who was in a wheelchair. She was not teased by other students but was also not really included in any social activities, etc.

One of the projects that we did in my class was a "Genetic Symposium" where students individually reasearched and presented a specific genetic anomally to the class and how it affected all aspects of a person's life. At first I was worried about how sensitive my students would be to some of these conditions, but I was really surprised at their sensitivity and respect. It turns out that my student in the wheelchair has spina bifida and had been unable to walk since she was 8 years old, has had a ton of surgeries and faces mor e in the future. She asked me if she could do her project on Spina Bifida and I asked her if she would be comfortable doing so since it is very personal to her. She said that she really wanted to do it and she would be able to relate a a lot of her personal stories to the class. Again, I was skeptical and nervous about the class's reaction, but again I was proud of my students. Every student in the room, even the loud obnoxious types, were on the edge of their seats listening with undivided attention to her story. She brought photos of her as a little girl in leg braces and the students had a ton of questions for her that she was happy to answer. Her presentation allowed the students to ask all of the questions that they ever had for her in a safe and open environment. It allowed the girl to be open and answer questions in a safe environment and the students sure had a different perspective. To date I consider it to be one of the most successful educational moments in my career.

Of course it took tremendous courage for her to stand up in front of her peers to do this, but the rewards really paid off. From that day on she had new friends in and out of class, never had to fumble with door handles or have problems accessing areas of the classroom in her wheelchair.

It is true that kids can be cruel, but their cruelty is often a result of ignorance and lack of knowledge. I'd hate to see your daughter have to go through the inconvenience of switching schools just because of some mean kids. After all it's not her fault, why should she have to leave? I hope you will meet with her teachers and try to work something out that will be positive for everyone. Good luck!  =

Name: Aaron • Date: 02/09/2006 06:55:56

Im 13 and Kids can be right Mugs !, I was bullied in yr 5 ( Im English ) and i Slapped one of them, Anyway.............. Their a girl in my yr prais shes disabled and im good mates with her shes in my french and english class and we used to sit next to eachother but not no more but we still say hi. And shes a great person and if people can't see that their blind. Tell your daughter to aim for the stars nothing can stop you once your determine and have a pure heart.  =

Name: Eileen • Date: 02/10/2006 13:53:21

I feel for your daughter and you life is so difficult enough never mide people are alway finding the negative things about people they judge first by appreance and if we are not considble normal other people can't deal with it. When I was in high school thier was a boy in a wheel chair he was in all my class. I would try to help him open the door for him thinkin i was being a nice person but instead he tryed to run me and my friend over I guess at the time I misunderstood him He did't like being treat like a handicup. Well for awhile I was kind of scared of him but my seat got change to right next to him. And i really got to know him. We turned out to be best friends my boyfriend now husband we use to pick him up and hang out with every weekend also with a bunch of other friends. It's just so sad that people have to hurt someone just because they look different on the outside and we are all the same on the inside. I tell my kids to treat everybody with kindness because no one in the world is perfect. What I think those kid's need is to understand her feelings and understant what if it was them. It all fall's on the parents to teach kids how to treat other's and if a parent dose not do there job the world will alway's be cruel.  =

Name: NICOLE • Date: 02/11/2006 07:56:26

HOW ARE YOU

#  =

Name: belle • Date: 02/15/2006 05:54:28

your right  =

Name: DOMINIC • Date: 02/15/2006 16:06:31

HELP  =

Name: Chelsea • Date: 02/15/2006 21:48:46

Tell your daughter that she is special in every single way and that the other children are not used to this type of kid. Maybe if she explains the situation to poeple that will understand and she can make tons of friends. I don't know. it's worth a try.  =

Name: Victoria • Date: 02/17/2006 21:15:34

kidz r cruel  =

Name: Louise 123 • Date: 03/08/2006 16:05:48

kids are really crule  =

Name: sweetie • Date: 03/08/2006 19:23:39

thats really sad about the situation your daughter is in! i am 18 and im still in high school, i have a brother with disabilities, and i know exactly WHY kids make fun of people like your daughter...

kids in highschool do not understand certain things like disabilities, so being around people that have them can make them feel really awquard, out of place, and even uncomfortable! (sorry for any mis-spellings! after all, im "just in highschool")

to deal with these feelings of confusin and discomfort, the kids to the next best thing to make them feel better- they laugh. yes, it is cruel, but the teens simply do not know what else to do. i have seen many kids make fun of disabled children, and me being somewhat popular, ask them why they did it. they usually say they dont know and that the disabled ones just make them feel weird and they just laugh about it.

my suggestion is to give your daughter an extra special treat- take her to get her face made-up, her nails done, and maybe buy her a cute outfit from abercrombie, hollister or american eagle (yes, these are "preppy" stores, but these clothslines are concidered "really cool", so the other kids at school will have something to respect about your daughter... shallow, yes, but the name brand says it all!)

also, throw your daughter a sleep over. she may not like the idea at first, but have her invite 4 or 5 of the girls she looks up to, or maybe even make the most fun of her. if you want, you can go with her. durring the sleep over, u can have make overs, vegi snacks, and bring the latest cosmo, seventeen, and glamour magazines along too! try and have your daughter talk about her feelings and exactly WHAT happened to cause her disability. once the girls see your daughter as a person, they will start feeling more comfortable around her and start TREATING her as a person!

i really hope ive helped, and good luck!  =

Name: Jenny • Date: 03/24/2006 15:56:32

You should tell the staff of the school so that they can make sure she doesn't get bullied.  =

Name: sara • Date: 03/29/2006 11:46:16

im 13 and i lost my arm to bone cancer age 10  =

Name: jenny • Date: 03/29/2006 12:00:47

I'm so sorry sara, are you still sick?  =

Name: Jesse • Date: 04/21/2006 07:19:49

Hi,

I agree - kids can be cruel. I was also the outsider in the class (both in my primary school and highschool), because I was overweight and a straight-A student. I know that my two reasons cannot be compared with your daughter's disability, but, nevertheless, my situation was pretty bad. I didn't have one single friend at school during that time! Even the teachers made rude remarks about my weight!

Because my mum was a teacher at the school I went to, she couldn't do anything about it - it would only make my situation worse. Therefore I learnt to deal with violence of the kids pretty soon. And I found out that what they say is true: "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." Those things at school made me strong. And all my sufferring was rewarded at the end, too. When I came to college, nobody cared about the way I looked and I made a lot of great friends! Today I'm 23, just finishing my college as one of the top students in my year (and as for all the kids that were giving me a hard time back then - not even one of them finished school or college and most of them ended up in the drug-scene).

So, tell your daughter not to listen to those terrible kids and to always be proud of who she is! It's difficult to ignore rude remarks from others, I know, but it's the only way and it works! Also, be there for her. Talk to her a lot. The worst thing for her is to bottle up all her emotions (anger, disappointment, saddness) - this makes things worse.
If you do have the chance to change schools, though, DO IT! DO IT NOW! Don't try to solve the situation on the school she is in now - send her to a new one!  =

Name: chanel • Date: 04/26/2006 06:24:00

well how does she feel about it does she fancy moving schools!If it woz me i'd satnd up to themxbut ask her if she wants to move schools  =

Name: charleen • Date: 05/08/2006 18:31:36

if i were ber i would just try to ignore it or i would chang schools or move somewhere else , kids r really cruel  =

Name: Kids are crule • Date: 05/08/2006 19:57:58

Melissa, I am 11 and i have had name calling and teseing at because of over weight I know how it feels.You should talk to these kids parents and then if the dont care have her get watched on by teachers that she might have and if they here things like what they saying to her they can get scolded.  =

Name: nnbn • Date: 05/08/2006 20:03:35

ghbnh  =

Name: stephanie • Date: 05/09/2006 20:28:59

what a wonderful teacher you are. sometimes us moms of children of special needs can be hard on you teachers. thankyou  =

Name: Linda • Date: 06/20/2006 17:14:26

Hello Melissa, I too have a daughter who is in a wheel chair. She is now a young adult and no longer in the public school system. When she was, I spoke to the special edd advisor at the town school department. I asked if it would be possible to keep her in the same school so that she would not have to re ajust again. I explained that my daughter was well ajusted in the school. She had her friends she was comfortable with the teachers and staff. If they where to remove her, it would not only disrupt her social structure it would also affect her school performance. I had wonderfull results, they approved my request and my daughter continued at the same school she started in. It is worth a shot go directly to the school department! Good Luck!  =

Name: jessica • Date: 06/21/2006 04:51:14

thats crule
pepol pik on me to  =

Name: jessica • Date: 06/21/2006 04:53:36

let her moov school and help her fit in more  =

Name: eli • Date: 06/21/2006 04:56:20

pepol pick on me even swer  =

Name: Hi • Date: 06/21/2006 13:58:21

im 12. I need a friend. i dont care if she is in a wheelchair. can we be penpals?  =

Name: go there • Date: 06/21/2006 14:00:31

hi im the 12 year old. go to the kids yourself. tell her to tell you who the kids ,that pick on her and yell at them and tell their parents. i would do that. my mom said she would, but she didnt and i am sad. yell at them !!!!!!!!! revenge. you cant get in trouble  =

Name: Lali • Date: 06/29/2006 10:53:00

These things always happening, everywhere. And I think I really understand you and your daughter. Cause in the pass I also experienced similar things.

I was born with glucoma (eye disease) ever since I was born. When i was only about three weeks my eyes need to be operated. It turn out my right eye can only see clearly about 20% while my left eye about 60%. When i starting school i need to wearing glasses. Which turn out to be about half cm thick. And at that time I also happen to be an overweight child. You probably can imagine, a fat girl with very thick glasses probably look weird to other kids.

I was an outcast, always get teased, yelling and bullied by other children. Both girls and boys. They don't let me play with them, some even hurt me by kick or stamp on my feet. My mum saw some bruise on my leg and ask me what happen. She then talk to the teacher and even with the kid that i point out to be the one who bullied me. Then other kid stop bully or harrass me. At first i thought everything was going to be ok. However it turn out that other kids didn't want to bother with me. So they decided to ignore me, completely.

I was so alone. I have no one to talk to. I always spend my lunch time alone. Sometime i stay with this girl who autistics (sp?). Sometimes we play together but there a lot of time she start act in a way i can't stand her, so i need to stay by myself.

At that time as for my parent well both my parents works. And when they come back they didn't seem want to talk. I wasn't really close to my father on that time, i'm sort of dislike him. I later understand that on that time there a problem in our family.

I have no one to talk to. My brother was in other school so i there no one really witness my problem. He also have similar problem at school

Well I stop ranting now. As you can see even talking to teacher or those kids, somtime it doesn't make things better. However it is still neccessary. Maybe those kids in your duaghter school may not be as mean as the kids in my school. Your duaghter was luck y to have a mother like you who care and want to find ways to help her. I'm saying my mother ignore me, it just she was so busy to notice, and our family really in a bad situation that these problem were ignore.

So not only talking to teachers, you need to talk to your daughter too. I'm sure you did it a lot of time. Giving her fiath and confidence. Find her some other activities she can do like playing music or art. It probably make her feel better. Make her feel that she too can do things other kids can do.

I know that my ilness when comparing to your daughter it seems so little. But I just want to let you know that there lots of other kids who have to face similar things. So don't give up.  =

Name: Kim Mori • Date: 06/29/2006 20:18:07

Hi Melissa!
Poor little babies!!!! My heart goes out to you guys, it must be so dame hard! Look I have a severely disabled 12yr old son and even though he himself doesn't understand when people are being mean but his little brother does! And what we have found is that it is mainly because they don't know, they don't understand because they have never faced it in their life! Awareness, the cruel kids need to know what happened to your daughters legs from start til now! The school should be taking action, an awareness program, getting kids to write their storiers in school news letter of their triumphies, get posters made up that say "It's not COOL to be CRUEL"! Anything really, I just think it's like most things, if people don't know or understand something that usually don't care! Good Luck! God Bless Your Family!
Cheers!  =

Name: SenseOfPoise_n_rationality • Date: 07/07/2006 01:16:44

I know this sounds wrong but if i was you i would smack those kids! I cannot stand teasing disabled kids! You should talk to the principle. . and have a parent confrence! Really, im sorry kids are so cruel!  =

Name: Telem • Date: 07/08/2006 22:30:37

For all of the parents whose kids with disabilities are being subjected to a hostile learning environment and the school is not responding, you need to contact a lawyer. If you are not in the position to afford one, go to legal aid and/or the ACLU and/or groups that provide services to persons with disabilities and tell them that you think that your child's rights are being violated. (E.g. Americans With Disabilities Act., Rehabilitation Act of 1973 and comparable state statutes.)  =

Name: donna28 • Date: 01/24/2007 08:59:43

Melissa,

I would go to the school and stress that you will not put up with this. I would stress that you want something done. Your daughter should never have to go to school and be put through this. And if you feel like the teacher's are doing nothing then I would go higher. My son gets picked on alot and that is one thing that I do not put up with. I would inform the school that you want the parents of these childern informed has well and that might change things. Either way if this was your daughter doing this they would be doing something about it. My heart goes out to your daughter. Never be scared to speak up for her.  =

Name: sunflower • Date: 02/03/2007 13:06:11

The kids need a good talking too,by the parents and the teacher.  =

Name: rachtwins • Date: 02/06/2007 00:13:46

awwww thats awful my heart  =

Name: rachtwins • Date: 02/06/2007 00:14:29

awww that is awful my heart goes out to you both. KARMA  =

Name: ivonne • Date: 06/14/2007 18:25:53

vnn_cortes@yahoo.com  =

Name: lou lou • Date: 06/24/2007 15:01:25

i am not that fat but my best friend thinks i am fatwhat should i say to her  =

Name: lisa • Date: 06/24/2007 21:08:00

you really need to talk to the teacher and principal and stress that you will not put up with this any longer.if no healp there talk to the special ed suporvisor whom is in charge of that school....good luck...  =

Name: angel • Date: 07/08/2007 16:35:35

hgfjgfsksgtl;f
jgkl
g
Ihk;  =

Name: alisha • Date: 07/18/2007 16:49:54

heyyyyyyyyyyy  =

Name: emma • Date: 07/22/2007 22:03:44

hi  =

Name: Momz3 • Date: 08/08/2007 20:21:01

Guys Ur just gonna make the other kids hate her more if you tell, inroll her in a catholic school where she would be accepted. Im 18 as a mom and i have seen this happen i think u should not tattle but inroll her in a catholic school  =

Name: rimsha • Date: 08/11/2007 14:07:50

just say that one day you she will be laughing at you.  =

Name: ..RoSey.. • Date: 08/12/2007 11:37:22

Momz3 Catholic school ?? i WENT to a catholic school from age 5 - 7.. but i left because i got BULLIED so bad i didnt want to go to school !!
EVen the teachers were horrible !!
After that school i went to a NON religious school and it was the best school i had ever been to....  =

Name: shelby • Date: 09/09/2007 09:19:02

See I have a rash on my legs and it hasnt gone away yet. I never wanted to wear skirts or shorts, But then I started to break out of my shell. So tell her that shes perfect the way she is and soon she'll find a friend who likes her for who she is!!!  =

Name: Karen • Date: 09/27/2007 10:16:14

I have a son that 's in Special Olympics. I 've heard about the treatment these kids get on the bus and in the halls at school. They tell me about it while we are driving to tourmaments. Some kids will stand up for those that are being mistreated, but very few.
I home school my son so he has never had to deal with that. There are alot of homeschool programs out there. I know of two that actually send you all the classes on DVD. That way your child has a Video class room with real students and real teachers. My son is using ABeka Academy. It's an excellent program. If you need help with something they 're a phone call or E-mail away. I also homeschooled my to older children with this program. They are both in college now and doing well. My youngest is developmentally behind so its harder for him but we tweek the program to fit his needs. I'm amazed at how much he has learned. Go online and check it out.  =

Name: Emma • Date: 01/08/2008 20:04:41

WAZ UP NIGGA  =

Name: kaly • Date: 01/13/2008 16:04:37

why do the all ways say clean your room  =

Name: kaly • Date: 01/13/2008 16:06:53

did you ever like some one and nver told them  =

Name: Joe • Date: 02/11/2008 10:39:08

beat the shit out of them. dare the parens to retaliate.  =

Name: Autry • Date: 02/13/2008 10:30:56

I HATE hearing this. I worry now with my two youngest children in school that their classmates will make fun of them and call them "stupid." So far it hasn't happened, but that is a parent's worse nightmare. It is actually one of the first questions I ask at my conferences "how does Bryant get along with his classmates?" Maybe at your conference you could bring up the problem and you and the teacher can come up with a solution together?  =

Name: lawrence • Date: 03/06/2008 20:34:39

law  =

Name: jess_girl • Date: 04/05/2008 10:36:27

hi  =

Name: jess • Date: 04/05/2008 10:38:07

hi jj how are you?
jj  =

Name: maryam • Date: 04/12/2008 03:20:01

12  =

Name: Jessica • Date: 04/12/2008 23:41:56

My sister is actually disabled from the waist down. Although she is nineteen and now out of highschool she still encounters cruelty even in college. Not so much though. As she got older things got better. She lost the use of her legs when she was ten and middle school pretty much sucked but high school was a little better and college is going pretty good.

Just be there for her and comfort her when she needs it. Honestly, just do what you can and if it means anything the first two years are the worst, which means you're coming out on the lighter side of things.

If you'd like to discuss it further feel free to email me at:
lilfiftyfour@ladylions.net  =

Name: vanasupechese • Date: 05/06/2008 19:24:00

hi if peopole tease ur child tell her that it will be ok put her in one of those groups to stay conifdent my child is 8 and in a wheel chair and does sports just like everybody else  =

Name: hillary • Date: 05/09/2008 12:19:48

hi i am a kid, this might sound werid that a kid is giving you advice. but i am a straight a student and get made fun of because i ama nerd. but i say the best thing is to pretend you dont hear them because when you fight back they tell on you. but when you tell you get called a tatled tail..  =