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Name: melissa
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Name: kaly | Date: Jan 13th, 2008 4:04 PM
why do the all ways say clean your room 

Name: kaly | Date: Jan 13th, 2008 4:06 PM
did you ever like some one and nver told them 

Name: Joe | Date: Feb 11th, 2008 10:39 AM
beat the shit out of them. dare the parens to retaliate. 

Name: Autry | Date: Feb 13th, 2008 10:30 AM
I HATE hearing this. I worry now with my two youngest children in school that their classmates will make fun of them and call them "stupid." So far it hasn't happened, but that is a parent's worse nightmare. It is actually one of the first questions I ask at my conferences "how does Bryant get along with his classmates?" Maybe at your conference you could bring up the problem and you and the teacher can come up with a solution together? 

Name: lawrence | Date: Mar 6th, 2008 8:34 PM
law 

Name: jess_girl | Date: Apr 5th, 2008 10:36 AM
hi 


Name: jess | Date: Apr 5th, 2008 10:38 AM
hi jj how are you?
jj 

Name: maryam | Date: Apr 12th, 2008 3:20 AM
12 

Name: Jessica | Date: Apr 12th, 2008 11:41 PM
My sister is actually disabled from the waist down. Although she is nineteen and now out of highschool she still encounters cruelty even in college. Not so much though. As she got older things got better. She lost the use of her legs when she was ten and middle school pretty much sucked but high school was a little better and college is going pretty good.

Just be there for her and comfort her when she needs it. Honestly, just do what you can and if it means anything the first two years are the worst, which means you're coming out on the lighter side of things.

If you'd like to discuss it further feel free to email me at:
lilfiftyfour@ladylions.net 

Name: vanasupechese | Date: May 6th, 2008 7:24 PM
hi if peopole tease ur child tell her that it will be ok put her in one of those groups to stay conifdent my child is 8 and in a wheel chair and does sports just like everybody else 

Name: hillary | Date: May 9th, 2008 12:19 PM
hi i am a kid, this might sound werid that a kid is giving you advice. but i am a straight a student and get made fun of because i ama nerd. but i say the best thing is to pretend you dont hear them because when you fight back they tell on you. but when you tell you get called a tatled tail.. 

Name: jojo | Date: May 13th, 2008 3:06 PM
hi 

Name: jojo | Date: May 13th, 2008 3:07 PM
so wat age u im 14 

Name: gf | Date: May 20th, 2008 7:31 AM
fgfg 

Name: lotus | Date: Aug 27th, 2008 1:58 PM
what 

Name: Jamie | Date: Aug 29th, 2008 9:58 PM
Hi,

I'm actually not a parent. I'm a nineteen year old college student who am disabled myself. I know exactly what your daughter is going through. I was teased all through my middle and high school years. Sadly enough, I still get some crap in college. But just remind her that her family loves her. Not only that but if it gets to be completely unbearable, talk to the principal and she can always report stuff to him. But I found that sometimes it got worse when I would tell the teachers about teasing...it's really a situation by situation basis.

Hope this helps! :) 

Name: Jennifer Lynn Lee | Date: Sep 4th, 2008 12:23 PM
Yes. Have you taken it up with the school district? If not you should. I believe thats harrasment. that's very horrible! 

Name: Lisa Greene | Date: Sep 4th, 2008 7:25 PM
Okay, I know this is along post. But it speaks directly to the heart of this post. I hope it helps give you some ideas about how to handle this. Take care. Lisa

Kids Can Be So Cruel:
Helping Children Cope with Bullying and Teasing about Medical Conditions
By Lisa C. Greene and Foster W. Cline, MD

Jessica is generally a happy kid but she didn’t look very sunny when she got home from school. So, her mom asked, “How was your day at school sweetheart?"

Jessica’s answer was slow, with some reluctance: "Well, mom, I don’t know…. not so great….

She seemed to need a little encouragement to continue. “So….?”

“Susie and I were standing at my locker when Josh walked up and said, “Hey Susie. Why are you hanging out with a loser like Jessica? She's just gonna die on ya from cystic fibrosis!”

Stunned, this mother grabbed the edge of the counter just to contain herself. Kids these days can be so cruel! Fighting to contain her anger, she asked, "So, what did you do?"

"Well, I didn't do anything but Susie kicked him in the shins!”

There are bullies in abundance. There isn't a kid alive who hasn't experienced a brush with a bully on the playgrounds of life. But, sometimes bullying passes the point of no return. Hearing many variations on this same story over and over again from families of children with cystic fibrosis (CF), I (Lisa) realize such moments are inevitable. Every parent of a child with a serious medical issue or disability lives with the knowledge that their children will face such unexpected and thoughtless remarks. At some point, it is likely that my own two children with CF will face such cruelty at the hands of their peers.

As parents, we carefully construct explanations about our child’s diseases and deliver them tactfully and hopefully. But that can all come crashing down in a heap at the hands of a thoughtless and bullying peer. So I, as all parents with children who live with chronic illnesses, must decide: Is it perhaps best for me to purposefully tell my children the hard truth- that yes, they indeed might die young from CF (or diabetes, etc.) - before I leave it up to chance at the hands of a thoughtless bully or even a well-meaning teacher?

Jessica’s story brings up a number of related issues:

- When and how do we talk about the possible results of a potentially life-threatening illness?
- How do we handle bullying?

Unfortunately, the answers are not easy and individual situations vary; thus generalizations may not helpful in all individual cases.

Factors that influence how parents talk about a possible early death with their child include the child's age; the child's maturity; the parents’ ability to cope with their own emotions when communicating about the subject; the severity of the illness and the immenence of death.

Factors that influence how parents talk about bullying with their child include many of the very same factors: the child's age, the severity of the bullying or threats, the maturity of the child, and the parents’ ability to cope thoughtfully about the subject. For instance, when parents understandably become overwrought, frightened or rageful about their child being bullied, their emotions are contagious and generally not helpful for the child. A better response is to express curiosity, interest, and allow the child to at least have the opportunity to vent, cope, and problem solve. Certainly if the situation makes coping or problem solving impossible, the parents haven’t closed the door to stepping in, taking charge, reporting and rescuing if these actions are called for.

In any case, whether we are talking about bullying or communicating about a possibly fatal outcome, if parents can cope with the issue, it is better that their child hears the facts and options from parents than from an uncaring peer or thoughtless remark at school.

Unfortunately, due to limited space here, we can’t cover both issues in detail so we’ll focus on dealing with bullying. But first we’ll give you some basic guidelines to follow when discussing difficult issues in general with your children as taken from the book “Parenting Children with Health Issues”:

1. Before you give answers, ask yourself: whose needs are you addressing - yours or your child’s?

2. Consider whether you are giving more information than the child wants or needs to hear.

3. Be open to your children talking with you about anything and everything.

4. When you are not sure how to give the answer, ask more questions.

5. Recognize that sometimes your child is trying to “protect” you.

6. Show acceptance even when you can’t show approval.

7. Every answer dealing with life-and-death issues should leave room for hope.

When our children face bullying, there are two broad paths the parents may follow:
Path One: Protecting the child
Path Two: Helping the child to cope and respond effectively

When a child is simply teased, Path Two is often the best option. If a child is threatened with physical harm, Path One is probably necessary. Certainly such paths are not mutually exclusive. Love and Logic principles emphasize that the more the child is able to respond effectively to the problem him or herself, the more resilient and capable the child becomes. It is understandable when parents naturally become upset, show sorrow, become indignant and talk about ways of rescuing the child when bullying occurs. The problem is that these responses make it easier for the child to take the reciprocal response of victim. This can sometimes be avoided by discussion of options, problem solving and encouragement.

For instance, concerning teasing by a bully and using the Love and Logic metaphors, a Helicopter Parent might make the following comments:

“How awful.”
“I’ll phone the school (or the parent, teacher, coach, etc).”
“Something should be done about that kid.”

Comments such as these imply:
“You are fragile.”
“You can’t make it without me.”
“You need my protection.”
“There’s nothing you can do about it, you’re helpless.”
“Something like this can scar you for a long time.”

A Drill Sergeant Parent might come through as follows:

“You need to fight back.”
“Stop your whining about this.”
“Maybe I’ll go down and knock some sense into those kids.”
“What you need to do next time is…”

These types of comments imply:
“You can’t think so I have to think for you.”
“You aren’t capable of making it in life.”
“You can’t handle this without my help.”
“You need me to tell you what to do.”

A Consultant Parent tends to explore and ask questions:

“Why are they picking on you?”
“Do you have ideas about how they are feeling that makes ‘em talk like this?”
“Who do you think you might be able to talk to at school about this?”
“What are the ways you can handle it?”
“When the kids say those things about you, do you believe them or do you think they have their own problems?”
“Would you like to hear how other kids might handle something like this?”
“Do you have some thoughts about how I could be most helpful?”

These types of responses imply:
“If anyone can handle a situation like this, it’s you.”
“You are capable!”
“You make good decisions and solve your own problems well.”
“I’m here for you if you decide that you want my help.”

Note that none of the Consultant Parent responses preclude the parent from stepping in and rescuing the child or taking charge of confronting the situation if need be. But if the child can be encouraged to handle the problem, the child’s self image and coping skills are increased.

So putting bullying and death together, understanding the truth that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, and taking a child’s maturity and knowledge into account, a parent might start a conversation with a second or third grader by wondering:

“As you know, cystic fibrosis is a serious disease that leads some people to die earlier than others. How would you handle it, I wonder, if some kid ever was mean and said something like, “I don’t have to listen to you, ‘cause you’re going to die early anyway?” Then thoughtfully explore the child’s answers, letting the child take the lead.

Kids can be cruel but parents can take advantage of these unfortunate moments to build their child’s character, self-esteem and coping skills.

Click here to check out the video clip of Dr. Cline demonstrating how to talk with a teen about handling teasing and bullying about her medical issues!

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Fro
m
the book Parenting Children with Health Issues: Essential Tools, Tips and Tactics for Raising Kids with Chronic Illness, Medical Conditions and Special Healthcare Needs by Foster W. Cline, M.D and Lisa C. Greene.

Dr. Cline is a child psychiatrist, author, and co-founder of Love and Logic. Lisa is the mother of two children with cystic fibrosis and a parent educator. For free audio, articles and other resources, visit www.ParentingChildrenWithHealthIssues.com. 

Name: Lane | Date: Oct 18th, 2008 8:43 AM
Why do kids always have to tease other kids that are different!!!! 

Name: sexxxygirlly | Date: Oct 26th, 2008 10:51 PM
Those kids need a life; if they thought about if they were in the same situation...they'd probably be nicer. 

Name: felisia | Date: Oct 27th, 2008 3:13 PM
That's really unacceptable and since you can't change the other kids I would definately consider homeschooling and finding groups of other children who have wheelchairs with whom she can gather a sense of friendship and belonging and group! 

Name: sabrina | Date: Feb 14th, 2009 5:40 PM
im sexy 

Name: kahrissa vara | Date: Mar 18th, 2009 8:08 PM
hey i am kahrissa what do u wannna talk about 

Name: kyla | Date: Apr 24th, 2009 3:56 PM
home school?maybe 

Name: Yukie | Date: May 10th, 2009 8:41 AM
Hey! 

Name: katie kid | Date: Jul 14th, 2009 10:16 PM
tell her to run their butts over with her wheelchair 

Name: nexus213 | Date: Jul 27th, 2009 3:40 AM
hey melissa,

I'm a 20 year old male with spina bifida going into his third year of college and let me say that I know exactly what your daughter is going through. I was teased alot during my elementary school years, it got worse in middle school but you know what? I stood up for myself. I wasn't going to take any of that crap from anyone. In high school it wasn't as bad. In college I still get nasty looks from people sometimes, but I just ignore them. In your situation I would contact the principal and your daughters teacher and talk about what is happening which I find rather disturbing. Maybe find a group of kids that have the same experience as her. All and all just be for her and support her. if you wanna talk more you can email me @ pie_grease@hotmail.com Best wishes for you and your daughter! ^__^

And a note to people posting stuff not related to the topic. STOP! It's only my first post but please i've seen alot of people post stuff that isn't on topic like it should be. -_- 

Name: nicole312009 | Date: Sep 10th, 2009 11:43 PM
I wish I had the answer. My son is in a wheelchair too. He started a new school and like his old school he is the only one in a wheelchair. I try not to let the stares bother me but it is really hard this year for some reason. I would definately address this with the principle. Everyone tells us to be strong...it gets hard though at times always having to be the strong one. It is sad that children are so cruel and they learn this from their parents. 

Name: shiloh | Date: Sep 19th, 2009 12:33 PM
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