Hello, guest
|
Name: smashlee
[ Original Post ]
Hi there, I havent posted on here in a LONG time, about a year ago.. when i was in the due date crowd, and now I have a beautiful baby boy who is almost 8 months old, Cordel :)
SO basically I am posting because my partners sister (we are not actually married but I call her my sister in law) she is lovely and i get along with her really well but the problem is that she has 4 kids... all girls, so it was exciting to have a boy int heir family, she loves Cordel to bits, but the thing is she wants to look after him over night, with her 4 kids! for starters shes a single muma nd yes she does an amzing job, but, I dont feel quite confortable yet and hse just wont leave it alone.. she hasnt asked me in a bit, but I mean she doesnt see my son THAT much and from not watching him before to suddenly an over nighter.. i was jsut like NO WAY... but coudlnt say it that way. I found it very hard saying no and not being horrible about it, but she just wouldnt take no for an answer... she obviously didnt take him but I was so pissed that she actually pressured me liek that.. then called my partner and was telling him that she wanted to look after him and that I said no, but sort of acted as if it was okay but was sad (so that my partner would come to me and ask why and say she was disapointed etc - tp make me feel stink") it reallly got to me.. I was shoked she would cause this trouble between my partner and I and that she would really push me like that.
The other thing is that when she is around my son.. she will give him anything and everything to eat that she wants! because her kids can have basically anything they want (their ages are 11,6,2,1) she thinks she can do that with my son! I tell her not to (nicely, maybe thats not enough, I cant be really mean to her its not in me) but I mean shell be eating a muffin with chocolate icing and give him some icing on her finger!!!!! helllooo! hes 7months old! i tell her no dont.. he has a sensitive tummy and hes too young and she goes "oh he likes it:" ofcorse he does! its sweet!Sorry for any spelling mistakes and the long post but I just dont know how to handle her! I find it hard explainging to my partner too that I am a first time mum, and I dont feel comfortable being away from him with jsut anyone yet.. only my own mother and shes only had him over night ONCE.... I am jsut not ready and he fdoesnt quite get it.. neither does she... grrrrrr
please help!
Your Name


captcha

Your Reply here


 
Name: joeys_mam | Date: Oct 5th, 2009 1:19 PM
He's your son; it's your choice who keeps him and who doesn't. Obviously your partner must have a say as well.

Just explain to BOTH of them that you aren't ready yet, that you'll certainly be in touch when you are ready.

If that isn't good enough then have your partner deal with her; it's HIS sister after all, and she's out of line causing trouble between you. 

Name: Elizabeth28 | Date: Oct 6th, 2009 8:49 PM
I was the same way and still am. My oldest is 6 and my sister in law still hasn't had her over night. There are just some people that you feel more comfortable keeping them then others. You have to do it when you are ready. Just tell her that and if she does not understand that is not your problem. A mother gut feeling means alot. If you felt bad about her keeping him and you let her anyways just to be nice and something happened to him, You would never forgive yourself or her. So its better to wait until you feel better about it. 

Name: JulieM | Date: Oct 10th, 2009 8:17 PM
Why don't you start by letting her watch him for a date night and see how that goes? She is his aunt and surely she would do a great job. 

Name: AmberIrwin21 | Date: Feb 4th, 2010 3:07 PM
Don't let them intimidate you into doing something you don't want to do.Just keep politely telling her no.Be stern.IT'S YOUR KID.You have control and if you don't feel comfortable enough to let her watch him overnight, DON'T! 

Name: CaliMama08 | Date: Feb 5th, 2010 10:42 PM
I agree, it's your kid! You ultimately have the right( along with your partner) of who and when someone can see or baby sit your kid. Just be stern and tell her when you are ready for that, you will let her know. 

Name: [email protected] | Date: Feb 27th, 2010 5:39 AM
I have had this problem with my mother-in-law in the past. I'm funny when it comes to leaving my children over night, and when my oldest was a baby, I would just blame it on breastfeeding, or them being too clingy. But as my children have gotten older, she's actually mentioned it to the kids, and gotten them excited to come over and then I had to be the bad guy and say NO! Not fair at all! So, I had to make my husband talk to her and say "cut it out." They are our children, and we will decide when/where they go for now.
I'm going to try and always remember how she's made me feel, so I don't place my own (future)daughter-in-law in the same situation. 


Copyright 2024© babycrowd.com. All rights reserved.
Contact Us | About Us | Browse Journals | Forums | Advertise With Us