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Name: Lizzi Title: Is anyone else a nervous driver??

I am nervous the whole time I'm driving. I won't dare try to get on the interstate even. I was in a fatal car wreck when I was 16,(I'm 34 now) on the interstate and it really shook me up pretty bad. I was with my grandma and I was driving us and we were side swiped and I lost control and hit another vehicle that overturned and skidded along the road. There was a man and a baby in that vehicle. The baby was fine but the man who wasn't wearing a seatbelt and who had also been drinking was thrown partway out the back side passenger window and was pronounced dead on scene. I was devastated and to this day I am so anxiety filled when I have to get behind the wheel. I often wish I didn't have to drive at all but that's not an option for me but I do to this day avoid the interstate and as much high traffic areas as possible. It's like that accident stripped all confidence I had in myself about my driving.My grandma and I were neither one hurt physically but it sure has taken it's toll on me mentally.Whenever I have to go somewhere that's necessary to take the interstate,I have to find a ride because I just can't drive there myself which is stupid because I do have my own car but I just can't do it. Even when I'm in town driving up on the overpass looking down onto the interstate traffic,I feel weak and constantly remember that dreadful day all those years ago.If you are a nervous driver,please share your story if you would,thanks. ?

Name: Hiddy • Date: 11/11/2006 02:35:50

I am! I drive like an old granny. I just bought a car that suits my driving style too! lol
I dont care either, I sit on 80 on the highway, I get the finger all the time =

Name: lana_81 • Date: 12/08/2006 05:20:02

IAm!! I have never been in a crash at all, but my ex used to do the stupidist things when driving. He would do 180kms an hour up the highway, burnouts everywere, going sideways, and all in dangerouse spots. I hate traffic! I hate it when people dont follow road rules( i know iam not a perfect driver too). The other day i near got hit by this idiot who was to busy talking to his pasnenger to see the give way sign, Lucky i drive so causiose or he would have cleaned me up. Iam only 26 so iam not an old granny driver but I am a bad pasenger driver.. I have to close my eyes when hubby drives to close to cars or i think hes going to fast. Iam pregnant and we have 3 kids so i worry all the time.. i would have to say my biggest fear is a car crash. This year so far over 300 people have been killed on our Aussie roads,, thats horrible =

Name: lana_81 • Date: 12/08/2006 05:21:17

Ooops the old granny diver bit wasnt pointed at you Hiddy...My hubby calls me that! =

Name: rowe_leah • Date: 01/03/2007 06:11:16

Iam a very nervous driver.I worked myself up for 2 weeks before I went away because I knew I had to drive on a 4 lane highway for about 20kms by myself.I have never been in an accident but experiences when I was younger with a crazy driver have scared me.if I drove 80kms an hour in a 100km an hour zone he would yell and swear at me and tell me I had to go 100kms.he would make me cry wile I was driving and that wasnt very safe.and it made me not want to drive becuse I knew I would just get yelled at and end up crying.your going to cause an accident because your so paranoid.well guess what.that was 8 years ago and I have never been in one and he has written off 2 cars and been in about 4 other accidents.all not his fault of cource. =

Name: rowe_leah • Date: 01/03/2007 06:14:28

sorry made me cranky thinking about it becuase its dick head drivers like him who kill inocent people.I can understand why you are a nervous driver but I dont know how to help you.did you get counciling.that would have been very hard to go through. =

Name: Lizzi • Date: 01/06/2007 21:43:03

rowe_leah,was that your dad who had you so upset driving? =

Name: rowe_leah • Date: 01/07/2007 01:44:45

no my boyfriend at the time. =

Name: victoriam • Date: 07/30/2007 21:38:29

My father is a wonderful driver, so of course he's the perfect candidate to teach me how to drive. SIKE. I'm a terrible driver, probably only because my father is so good. He criticized me so much the first time we went out onto the road that I'm insecure about my driving, which contributes to my nervousness and unconfidant driving style. Does anyone have tips to help me calm down and feel better in the driver's seat? I'll be devestated if I don't get my license this August, so please, all help is appreciated. =

Name: Amy • Date: 09/02/2007 12:01:16

I never drive, I want my license but I have to get over my fear .How do I do that. I would really love to drive my self I'm 29 y/o. =

Name: nancy • Date: 09/09/2007 19:59:21

Yes I am a nervous driver and avoid highway driving. I had a few incidents not seeing a car in the blind spot and it spooked me.
I don't feel confident using the side mirrors. Also, I go into panic when I have to pass tractor trailers. I want to regain my confidence but I don't know how to do it. After driving in major traffic, I find that by the time I get to my destination I am such a wreck (no pun intended). Any solutions? =

Name: dennis of oregon • Date: 10/16/2007 22:43:17

I AM A Granny Driver I Am Veary Proud Of It when it the sign said
15 25 45 55 65 i do it the big prolbem out there people do not care they do what they want to do that what get them in trouble with the law =

Name: Rose • Date: 11/14/2007 12:49:11

Hi Lizzi, I hope you are well. I was in an accident when I was 17 i'm now 27. It wasn't a bad accident but it left me a nervous wreak when it comes to driving. I put off driving for the last 10 years now I have to in order to get my son to school. I feel like everytime i go out on the road I'm taking such a chance. I'm very cautious and never take risks but I'm just so nervous. I know so many peopl;e who've had accidents serious and non serious that are fine about driving. I wouldn't drive if i didn't have to. This fear is affecting my day to day life but it would be so difficult not to drive. I hate impatient drivers so much and the lack of respect for speed limits. People here get irritated if you keep to the speed limit and beep you it drives me insane
Kind regards
Rose =

Name: sara • Date: 02/20/2008 07:51:21

yes, im pettrified but at least you push thru and get behind the wheel and for that matter have a very good reason. not me i just panic behind the wheel and it has obviously affected my whole life. =

Name: Veronica • Date: 04/22/2008 15:01:22

I'm definitely a nervous driver. I'm 25 and live in NYC, so like a typical local I rely very much on public transportation. Then I felt bad about not having a license, so I went for it. The instructors I had were mostly very good at remaining calm and not heightening my fear of driving. That were actually impressed I wasn't driving on the sidewalk or zig-zagging all over the street! I don't drive often enough (I'm getting a car next month), so my fiance lets me drive sometimes. At times I pass up on it because I'm too scared. I have to give myself little pep talks to try calming my nerves and remind myself that millions and millions of people drive -- some of them even 15 or 16 year olds! There are times when I just feel confident and will drive pretty damn well with little to no anxiety. Your nerves ARE your worst enemy. It can make you convinced you can't pull off things you really can do. But I hate practicing driving with my fiance as my passenger. He is now 31, has been driving since about 18, and he drives an awful lot. He has no patience for nervous, timid drivers! He really doesn't help me feel okay about it. He knows I don't like driving with him and is apologetic about it, but he is just used to being in the driver's seat and is nervous about me being nervous. Which is a problem. He is too critical and sometimes makes me feel like bursting into tears. If I ever get over my fear of driving, I will refuse to let him get in the car with me when I'm driving or I'll let him drive. For someone so mild-mannered and soft-spoken, he can be quite the road bully, which I hate. =

Name: Matt • Date: 04/27/2008 10:44:04

Lizzi, I have a few concerns for you here:

1. You have experienced an extremely unpleasant incident, which is obviously still haunting you despite some 18 years having passed; and
2. You are in control of a vehicle whilst (I'm only basing this statment on what you have said) you are obviously not in mentally fit state to do so. Now, I'm probably going to be a little harsh over the next few paragraphs, but I have some good suggestions for you which will help you get back "on-track" again! I must warn you of some serious dangers, though.

I will just qualify this post with the fact that I was an Advanced Driving Instructor in the UK, teaching people to drive to the same standards as the police (without high speed persuit, of course!). I hold licences for numerous vehicles including cars, trucks, motorbikes, helicopters and aeroplanes!

I'm sure that you have received professional counselling, but perhaps you need to consider going out with a driving instructor for a few lessons, just as a refresher course, which will help build your confidence again. I fully understand how traumatic this situation is for you, and I wouldn't want to make it any worse, although I would like to share the following facts with you.

There are 3 main categories of driver. There are those who drive too fast, and those who drive normally. The third category can be just as dangerous as the first, however, it is not as clear-cut. In cat 3, you have people who are nervous, spatially unaware, distracted, or just simply slow.

All the road regulations are designed to allow the majority of people to be able to drive, however, as we know, there are those who should not be on the road. If you drive too fast, your reactions may not be quick enough. If you drive too slow, you hold traffic up, and people naturally become impatient, making them become worse drivers.

My biggest concern lies with "nervous" drivers. When you are nervous, you are easily distracted. The feeling of nervousness is a distraction in itself. Driving a vehicle requires that you be alert and reading the road at all times. Failure to do this, can be catastrophic, as well you know. Whilst you may not hit somebody, you are more prone to make mistakes. This in turn is more likely to cause someone else to make a mistake, which could hold serious consequences for either that, or another person's wellbeing.

By turning on your ignition, you are making a legal statement that you are in good enough health, both mentally and physically, to operate the vehicle safely. From what you have said in your post, it suggests that you are not. Driving when you are "so anxiety filled..... ....that you just can't do it..." is just as bad as that driver who drove drunk. It is not fair on you or other road users.

Now the good part! You have not mentioned any further incidents in your post since the major incident. I'm therefore making the presumption that since then, you have not been involved in any other incident. If I'm right, then this is good. If I'm wrong, then all the more reason to act on the following:

I have been witness to numerous, and on two occasions involved in (which were not my fault, and also unavoidable), accidents. I have witnessed a number of fatalities. It is quite natural to think "what if I'd done something different... would it have changed what happened?". This is a thought which is probably still at the back of your mind, along with the fear of having to see something like that again. There are a number of professionals around who specialise in debriefing for these events. I am guessing that the anxiety hits as soon as you know you have to drive somewhere. This is a symptom of Post Traumatic Stress Sundrome (PTSD). Whilst you may not have it, it would seriously be worth checking it out with a suitably qualified Psych Med Practitioner. There are many things that can be done to help you recover properly these days!

My final suggestion is to take a refresher course with a driving instuctor. An advanced course is preferable, if available in your country. I do this as a matter of course, generally every 5 years. There are always new rules and regulations, even new signs! It just makes sense to refresh yourself with the rules like this... if only it were compulsory! I digress... This also serves as a confidence boost for anyone who is nervous. If you can jump in with an instructor, without having to worry about sitting a test, then you can relax, and just learn without any pressure. An instructor will obviously be able to pick up any faults you have, you can work together to correct them, and once you're done, if your instructor says "Excellent! You're driving is absolutely fine!", then you know for a fact that you are a good driver.

Please remember though, whether it be stress, alcohol, drugs, loud music, anxiety, medication, kids, or otherwise, a driver that is distracted for any reason should not be on the road in the first place (in an ideal world!).

Good luck in your recovery, and safe driving.

~Matt =