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Okey so here it goes...last night when Jason got home from work he was taking off his work suit and it was making a lot of noise. Aliyah started to startle and I asked him i fhe could take off his refridgerator suit in the living room so that it wouldnt wake her up. Mind you this is midnight! He says "I take my suit off in here every night and have never woke her up. Needless to say she woke up and I was pissed. Why in the hell did he purposely wake her up?! And then I ask him to get up with her since he woke her up so that I could get some rest for work today. AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAID?! HE SAID "why are always so ungodly tired when you dont do anything during the day?!" EXCUSE ME?! I DONT DO ANYTHING DURING THE DAY?! I GO TO WORK...YEAH ITS A DESK JOB BUT IT DOESNT MEAN I DOTN DO ANYTHING! AND THEN WHEN I GET OFF WORK I TAKE CARE OF OUR CHILD. He is such an asshole!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAARRRGGHH! Anybody else want to vent? Please write if your husband has ever said anything like this to you. ↓
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| Name: Lisa | Date: Apr 22nd, 2006 12:37 PM |
| Stop cooking dinner and when he starts ranting about no supper say well,as far as you're concerned I dont do anything all day anyway so fix your own damn dinner!! And do your own laundry and clean the kitchen when your done too!! After all its nothing right?? ↑ |
| Name: Holly | Date: Apr 22nd, 2006 12:45 PM |
| Yeah,men are jerks! They all think that their jobs are so much more difficult than a womans,(like ours are all kick back on sandy beach jobs ordering umbrella drinks!) Yeah right! Offer your hubby this idea......Say to him well dear since I dont DO anything all day how bout I quit my job and stay home and raise our baby that way when you come in at night and wake her I can gleefully get up with her til she decides to go back to sleep!? ↑ |
| Name: Christi | Date: Apr 22nd, 2006 10:08 PM |
| Why do they think we don't do anything? They just make up stuff to complain about! ↑ |
| Name: kristin | Date: Apr 22nd, 2006 11:55 PM |
| I agree with Lisa.......stop doing the things he takes for granite. After people at his work make fun of him for smalling like stinky ass because of hie dirty clothes...maybe he will appreciate you more! ↑ |
| Name: Stephanie | Date: Apr 24th, 2006 5:04 PM |
| Thank you all for your suggestions and might I add they sound very nice! But I am such a clean freak...everything in its place ya know? This weekend I asked him to get up with Aliyah and he moaned about it and I said "why are you so ungodly tired, you didnt do anything but FISH all day today!?" yeah so anyway that shut his ass up and he apoligized...MEN!!! ↑ |
| Name: Lisa | Date: Apr 27th, 2006 4:05 PM |
| Men don't know how good they have it til we're gone one day. Then they'll be left thinking,"I should have been more kind to her and more helpful to her".........only it will be too late. ↑ |
| Name: Rhonda | Date: Apr 27th, 2006 11:23 PM |
Lisa, I know exactly how you feel. I have a demanding job, I am going to school, and I take care of our 6 year old. I get no time off while he gets to play golf every weekend. We had a housekeeper, but moved to a new house. It was my dream home, so to help save money, I let the housekeeper go. He said he would help with the house work. It is not happening.
I am just really tired. ↑ |
| Name: Rhonda | Date: Apr 27th, 2006 11:27 PM |
| Sorry, that should have been directed to Stephanie. And, by the way, I am really neat also. I just can't keep up with everything ↑ |
| Name: Stephanie | Date: May 1st, 2006 3:53 PM |
| FINALLY SOME HELP! He took Aliyah Saturday night and I got 9 hours of straight sleep!!!! He ALSO bought me a dozen long stem red roses....wonder what he wanted?! haha ↑ |
| Name: Jodi | Date: May 5th, 2006 6:33 PM |
| Well my husband goes out with his friends very often and leaves me home with our two kids. I'm a working mom and don't get home until 5:30, I then have to try to make a meal and try to keep the house straight while he is either out with his "boys" or just sitting aroung watching me go absolutely insane. Oh, and to top that off I work at a childcare center. I seriously need a vacation as I'm sure lots of you do!!! Please write if you think moms need a day off... Yeah that's funny isn't it -a day off and our families would fall apart! ↑ |
| Name: my SON said............... | Date: May 20th, 2006 1:14 AM |
| My teenager stayed home one day from school and said to me,"mom,why do you watch soap operas when there is so much that needs done around here?"I about came unglued!!! I thought how dare he say something to me like that when I'M the one who WASHES HIS clothes and COOKS HIS meals and BUYS nearly everything HE wants,(when I can afford to)!!!! I can surely tell he is 100% MALE!!!!!! WHAT NERVE!!!!!! ↑ |
| Name: In the same boat! | Date: May 22nd, 2006 10:14 PM |
| This weekend my husband and I had a huge "blow out." He called me lazy! How dare he! I work full-time with at least an hour commute each way. I usually get home around 6pm and only have about 2 hours with our 9 month old son. I am trying to get him to sleep in his crib but have working mothers guilt and haven't stuck to the "cry it out" routine. My husband works nights and takes care of our son during the day, until mid-afternoon... so he should know how difficult it is to keep up with everything but for some reason he still didn't "get it"!!! Spending time with my son for the entire 2 hours is my priority... then a little bit of house work.... and then SLEEP! We argue about getting someone to come in and clean! He keeps telling me that we can't afford it and that money should be used elsewhere. Anyway, during our argument I went into another room and wrote a list of all of the things, I, his "lazy wife" do to keep the household running. I called the list... "When was the last time YOU.... made the bed, payed a bill, bought your son a new pair of PJs, cleaned the cat litter.... The list was over 3 pages long! I think that he finally got it! I hope :) ↑ |
| Name: Stephanie | Date: May 23rd, 2006 3:03 PM |
| To "in the same boat" I know what you mean about working mothers guilt...I have the same thing I hate picking my daughter up from her nanny and then going home only to put her back down on a playmat while I get things done...like dinner and housework and etc. My husband also works nights BUT he takes our daughter to daycare at 8 am and he goes into work at 2pm so he has the whole morning off the do whatever and most of the time he sleeps...I have to make a list of stuff to do and he ALWAYS does whats on the list but still he doesnt know how hard it is on a mother to have to put her child down that she hasnt seen all day to do chores...I'm a clean freak so its like it HAS TO BE DONE! ↑ |
| Name: In the Same Boat | Date: May 23rd, 2006 8:40 PM |
| To Stephanie: It's nice to hear from someone who is in a similar situation. My husband doesn't get much sleep and I feel guilty about that too! I feel like as a working mom I can never win... the guilt is there because other people are taking care of my little boy... even if it's family like my husband and parents. When my parents go on vacation and we have a sitter sometimes I feel like it is easier. I pay the sitter and she is doing her job while my parents are watching our boy for free. I know that they love him dearly and enjoy spending the time with him, but when I picked him up tonight at 6pm (they usually have him from 2-6pm) they looked exhaused... and of course... I felt guilty! ↑ |
| Name: Tabatha | Date: May 23rd, 2006 9:08 PM |
| So has your day gotten any better? ↑ |
| Name: !!!!!!!????? | Date: May 23rd, 2006 10:27 PM |
| To answer some posts you have to be registered now,how weird!? ↑ |
| Name: Jennifer | Date: May 24th, 2006 4:25 PM |
To Sephanie and In the Same Boat,
Before I had kids I was a neat freak also. I had a friend who had 4 kids and her house was always a disaster and I silently said to myself "my house will NEVER look like that!". I think I did fairly well with it with my first (now 6) but since are 15 month old has come along - well needless to say I have new respect for my friend! It took me a while and letting to of a lot of perfectionism in me but I save the dishes and "picking up" till after my kids go to bed. And I usually do that during commercial breaks of my favorite shows! Needless to say, my house is usually that disaster I never said it would be but I am much happier spending the time with my kids before bed. Also, try using a crock pot for dinner and spending less time with that. Or get your kids to help you with dinner as much as possible - they don't know its work and it is fun time to spend with you.
I just won't feel guilty about not being the "perfect" mother, wife, maid, housekeeper or whatever. I think after my six yr old I realize how fast they do get older (I know what a cliche) but they do and you need to spend as much time with them now. There will be many, many, many more years to have a clean house and gourmet dinners.
You know, I really don't think people ( and probably your husbands also) notice as much as we think they do when it comes to how clean things are. And if they do and they look down their noses - well who gives a sh*t! If it is another mother they are going to understand and if they don't - you don't need them! ↑ |
| Name: shorty | Date: May 24th, 2006 6:23 PM |
Hay you no what ignore his ass because your better then that he thinks he has everything in control but girl get your selt together don't ever let any man get you down i do Doc Control that's a desk good and im P.G. as well but you no what if man husband wants to talk down to me well what can i do if i pay attion the more he's going to do it so i act like i don't he him so now he's getting upset. So just act like you don't herehis ass.
Enjoy life don't let things like this get you down take care of your self. ↑ |
| Name: angel of mine 2006 | Date: May 25th, 2006 8:20 AM |
| This is stephanie who posted this thread...I really enjoyed reading your post Jennifer I can relate to where you are coming from when you secretly whispered my house will NEVER look like that! haha I have done the exact same thing with my mothers house...she was 4 year old twins and a 6 year old...but I guess eventually you learn to deal with it huh? ↑ |
| Name: kathy | Date: May 28th, 2006 11:41 PM |
| i totally feel for you my man has said even worse ↑ |
| Name: Jennifer | Date: Jun 5th, 2006 12:46 PM |
| Stephanie - yeah, you do get used to it. I personally just don't think it is worth it to sacrifice all my "off work" time with my kids just for a spotless house. They are not going to remember whether or not the house was clean but they will remember how much time you spent with them. One thing I try to do is to do a general cleaning on Sat. am and then pick one room like the kitchen or a bathroom and do a deeper cleaning, that way every room gets a good cleaning at least once a month or so. Takes less time than trying to get everything completely spotless every week but still makes me feel like I am keeping things from getting to out of hand. During the week all I try to do is just keep things picked up and the dishes done. Take advantage of help from relatives or if you can afford it even, maybe hire a house keeper once a month. My MIL helps me out alot with yard work. ↑ |
| Name: Jennifer | Date: Jun 6th, 2006 11:47 PM |
I am SO GLAD to read this. My husband just doesn't get it either. I take care of 99% of all household responsibilities and work 40+ hours a week. I had a breakdown this weekend and told him he needed to help me more. All I get in return is, "You don't appreciate any of the things I do and give me no credit for the things I do". IS HE SERIOUS?? What credit does he give me? NONE!! I just want to scream and pull my hair out.
Plus, the only time he does something is when ASKED. That is his great response, "All you have to do is tell me what you want me to do". Well, I ask all of you ladies out there...WHO TELLS US WHAT TO DO??? Is there a manual that came with the wedding ring stating the responsibilities we now need to take care of? Nope, we just do it because it has to get done! AHHHHH!!!! He is like talking to a brick wall!
Thanks for letting me vent! I'll be back, I'm sure..... ↑ |
| Name: angel of mine 2006 | Date: Jun 7th, 2006 10:49 AM |
| lol jennifer I feel for ya!!!!!!!! We get stamped at our wedding as "MAID[ WIFE[ MOTHER" ↑ |
| Name: meliswalt | Date: Jun 16th, 2006 9:00 PM |
| OOOOOOOhhhhhhh..........I am so glad to hear that im not alone with the A$$ of a husband. I mean I love him, but sometimes .....I have a hard time liking him. I work full time (day shift) and he works third shift, we take turns with the kids, and like the other mom, I feel guilty because he doesnt get much sleep. But I really dont either, my kids are kinda on third shift with him, they take long naps so they like to stay up late......but i deal with it because thats what we have to do to be with our children and not leave them with strangers (nothing against daycare.) BUT WHY do men think they alwyas have it worse?? I dont get it.....were in the same boat. And since I work i expect the house hold chores ( including the outdoors) to be 50/50. But somehow he says he "does it all" Im thinking about not doing all the things i do like cook dinner, bathe the children, clean up after ALL of them, including him. Maybe then he will understand. I don't know. I did not mean to go on this long, but oh well maybe someone else will feel my pain lol. It does feel good to vent. ↑ |
| Name: Rose | Date: Jun 17th, 2006 5:37 PM |
| Blokes! Sometimes my husband says I am lazy and should do more work round the house. I say to him that I am tired and straight away I get 'you don't work harder than me' How would he know - he gets home late. I get up take my son to nursery, work a full day, pick him up, bath and look after him til bedtime then try and do a little housework. It got to the point where I was walking round like a zombie and was a physical wreck I knew something had to give. I stopped doing so much housework (cus I couldn't afford a drop in pay to not work so much I am main wage earner) I just don't take his shite and I tell him to take his sorry ass to his dad's and come back with some manners. He now helps more round the house! ↑ |
| Name: angel of mine 2006 | Date: Jun 20th, 2006 12:03 PM |
| GOOD FOR YOU ROSE!!!!!!!!!!!! BTW my hubby has done a complete 360! When he gets in from work at night around midnight he does the dishes and fold any laundry that needs to be folded. He also gets up with aliyah during the night sometimes when I am just completely wore out. He is going to day shift from 6 am- 3pm so I am excited about finally being able to have a "family dinner" and do things together during the week instead of just on the weekends! ↑ |
| Name: Nakiya | Date: Jun 23rd, 2006 2:58 PM |
| Well you should just be happy your husband works. My husband is a sit at home dad. He can't keep a job for $hit and i have to work 2 jobs pullin 75-80 hrs a week just to pay bills & i'm 4 1/2 months pregnant. Not to mention when i get home at 10pm i have to wake up with my daughter in the middle of the night when she wakes up because he acts as if he can't here her screaming at the top of her lungs. ↑ |
| Name: angel of mine 2006 | Date: Jun 29th, 2006 12:16 PM |
| to NAKIYA maybe you should tell him to get his $hit together or get out! There are daycares and there is daycare assistance its not right that you should be doing everything ↑ |
| Name: atomic snowflake | Date: Jul 6th, 2006 3:16 PM |
My husband gives me no housekeeping. Sometimes he buys a bag of groceries then acts like he's spent a fortune when I'm at the shops all the time buying food for us all. He never buys washing powder or any cleaning products or stuff like that.
I never get a birthday present and he hasn't taken me out since we got married three years ago.
If I complain then he just says that I should be grateful because he doesn't go out drinking and other women have husbands who are far worse.
I have to nag him to help me with the cleaning and he thinks that I don't do anything all day. He had to look after the two kids the other day and when I got home from work he was absolutely exhausted and went to bed early!
My bank account is overdrawn and he has the chance of getting somemore money to help out but he can't be bothered to organise it. I'm getting into debt through feeding us all!
I don't buy new clothes or anything to treat myself and I never get any time off to myself.
I AM SO PI**ED OFF WITH HIM. ↑ |
| Name: aprillabbee | Date: Jul 9th, 2006 9:32 PM |
my second husband was that way. We both worked the same hours and when we got home from work, I worried about dinner, dishes, laundry, homework on the nights we had my stepdaughter AND i had to take care of her and all he did was go sit in his recliner and take a nap until dinner. I never understood it. He actually told me once that he expected me to do it because I made half of what he made and I was the wife. Luckily, i have an awesome husband this time and we have our first child. yes, first time parents at 35. Our son, Battle is almost 2 now and he works 8-10 hrs a day and still comes home and helps me and I only work 12 hours a week so we dont have to get a babysitter. I will pray for you that your husband becomes more appreciative of you. take care.
April ↑ |
| Name: Sandy the mum | Date: Jul 14th, 2006 5:55 AM |
| divorce that asshole,. that's all i could say! ↑ |
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