Doesn't make any sense.... I had my 33 week checkup today.. Shoot, checkup... he came in and that was it! Didnt even discuss the blood work done from last week or about the placenta the tech was concerned about, nothing. Didnt even ask me how Ive been feeling like he typically does. What makes it worse.. is everything I have been feeling is leading back up to PE but the only thing he is concerned about is my BP. All the warning signs for PE are there... the only thing keeping my BP down is the Pendil the high risk doctor has me but all the others signs.. the protein in the urine which is steadily increasing, the swelling I am feeling in my hands, feet and even a slight swell in my face, the headaches I have been getting and even an increase of 4 pounds in three days time.
His reaction to that.. stop eating so many sweets! I hate to break it to him but my eating a breakfast of french toast sticks and later some jello doesnt qualify has 4 pounds increased.. NOPE not at all! If that was the case.. why is it when I lost 2 pounds.... I ate the same thing minus the jello. No, this is something more than that! Even my nurse was concerned about the weight gain and the swelling.. she said she wouldnt be surprised if I was on complete bed rest before it was all said and done! She said from now on.. if he wont be so concerned, that I should just be on bedrest for the rest of the pregnancy myself and just take it really easy! I dont get it!
A friend of mine suggested going to one of the other drs to get a second opinion.. I am liable to do that with Dr. Remley. Something is off and if you are just following the BP that can be deadly to me in the end! I feel tired all the time.. yet, I cant sleep all the time. From the hurts I feel from the swelling I am enduring, something isnt right!
Oh and get this.. the hand issue I have been having. I told my nurse about it! She suggested that the swelling could be causing it which I suspected as much and I do have a minor case of capal tunnel. Not surprising since I am on the computer alot... but what makes it worse.. is what he said which DOESNT MAKE SENSE!
My boobs are the reason I have swelling in my hands.. when they swell, it can cause a ripple effect. UMM.. Ive been WATCHING my boobs really close nad I have YET to swell in them.. so that theory doesnt hold water.. Hell, even the nurse was like what the....?
I dont understand WHY all of a sudden its getting worse.. and he is caring less. I was 33 weeks pregnant with David when I started getting all the signs of PE.. back then I wasnt on meds like i am now! So why when I need him most of all, he is backing off? Something isnt right in my bones and that causes a great alarm to me! Anybody got any advice?
2006-06-02 (33 weeks)
33 weeks today! Time is flying and crawling at the same time Want to know what I hate the most... the fact that I am the most impatient person in the world or atleast it seems that way. I cant wait to meet my new son and hold him in my arms for the first time. Like William, Gary will hold our son first which is fine by me. Atleast I can see him while they stitch me back up. I cant wait until that day and it draws closer all the time.. Why am I up at 1 a.m. when I know in three hours I must take Gary to work so I can borrow the car for my 8:30 appt? Well, one major reason is heartburn.. another is Talon. While he keeps rocking and rolling around in my belly, it is starting to hurt very badly. I dont know why he keeps hurting me now but I dont recall this much pain with my first son. Then again, it was 11 years ago. Come to think of it.. I was 34 weeks along when I was put into the hospital for PE with David.. Here I am at 33. Hmm... this time I am taking better care of myself AND the drs are looking out for it. The only thing I am concerned about are the constant twitches and hardenings in my stomach that come with the BH contractions. They are intense when they hit and are constant for one day and then nil for the next. <shrugs> Dunno why that is so! Anyways, to be so close near the end is killing me. Talon is still dropping onto my pelvic bone more often than not.. making it harder and harder for me to walk.
I guess the weird thing is... when I got behind my wheel of my car two months ago.. now my car.. not hubby's... I could drive it. Now I am only 5'1" so reaching the pedals is already a daunting task but I could do it on mine without a problem. On my hubby;s car, there is an issue. Hes slightly taller than me.. not by much mind you.. and he sits closer to the steering wheel because of his knee... I can still drive his.. very carefully but a little further back than Id like for myself. However, the other day I went to start my car just to rev it up and I couldnt even FIT behind the wheel and even with my moving the seat back... hahaha! I STILL couldnt drive it if I wanted to! I CANT REACH THE PEDALS! Now how is that for irony!???? I miss driving my car too....
Ugh! I am so sick from heartburn right now. Talon is so not helping the situation. I guess I shouldnt have eaten that pizza tonight. Hubby got a raise at work and wanted to treat us to a dinner out since Ive been so good about not eating out. He asked me if I was proud of him today.. well, yeah I mean 2 raises in less than 6 months time. Who wouldnt be? The raise is only going to help us but I wish hed understand how much it would cost to be Talon in daycare right now. It would definetly be better when he is a year old than right now. According to my friend Katrina, newborns in daycare here cost anywhere from $150 to $200 a week. I am like good lord! There is no way in HELL Id go back to work if thats the case! UGH! I guess we shall see though. But I am very proud of him. He always told them that he would show them why they should have hired him in the first place. Gary had been turned down two times before.. third times the charm.
Us moving here worked out for him.. maybe it worked out for me too because I may have lost my job but I gained my self respect back and realized that newspaper reporting.. although I love it at times.. is not what I am meant to do. I have always wanted to write and even though I have time now.. the energy lapses to sit behind the computer all day and do it. What is harder though... is knowing my idea of this book is a good idea but not having the energy to get it done is a pain. Not only do I know more about this idea, I already have the beginning half done.. its the last half that has me slightly stumped. Not surpisngly.. Yes, dear Talon.. ur mother wishes to be a novelist. I always have wanted to be one.. ever since I was 13 and began reading Stephen King novels.. finishing IT in 5 days. Okay now I am rambling.. is it bedtime yet? Should I stay awake KNOWING I will be up in 2 and half hours anyway.. well, basically Ill be up in the next hour for a bathroom run! HAHA! Is it even worth trying to get the doze? A part of me says no way!
I am more worried about David... for the last week, he has been dreaming about the end of the world.. by a nuclear bomb. I should have known he shouldnt have seen t3 but he so badly wanted to and begged me to see it. He saw t2 and was fine but now I just dont know. As I was sending him to bed tonight, he asked me to stay in my room because he was scared he would dream it again. Half asleep myself, I did go to bed slightly earlier, i told him to come to me.. and whispered to his forehead NO BAD DREAMS TONIGHT! NO nuclear explosions or end of the world scenarios.. we are fine and kissed his forehead lightly. I hope that put him at ease! He gave me a kiss on my cheek and went to bed... Ive been watching him off and on since waking back up. I certainly hope he doenst have the bed dream again. I feel so bad for him! If he does, I am sure he will tell me again! David and I are very close.. I only hope that Talon and I can be just as close... However, I promised David I would take him out on our "dates" whenever I could. He was happy I even remembered all that. Anytime I tell someone about what David bought for me over the weekend, they are like he is such a sweet boy! I often wonder how this little boy because this bright young man who doesnt seem to struggle in school but rather pulls in his As and Bs and rather be in school learning than on summer vacation. Yes, you read right! He doesnt want to be on summer vacation.. hed rather be in school learning?! Yes, my going to college during his early years have helped! I did SOMETHING RIGHT! LOL.
Okay thats enough rambling for tonight! I think Im gonna watch tv for a bit and maybe get some sleep.. not gonna be a deep sleep but something small is better than nothing right.
Take care moms and and moms to be!
2006-05-31 (32 weeks)
43 days left to go and counting.... Ugh! It is so long it seems like then it seem to short compared to what we had to endure. Had my NST yesterday which it seemed like I would have failed. Talon kept moving around which concerned David *my other son* greatly. It is the first time David when to a NST with me. I told him that Talon is naturally active and hates that stupid machine. He told he doesnt blame him! While me, David and the nurse were in the room... they noticed I was having contractions. Small ones but still there but atleast the are far enough apart. Im telling you guys.. this kid is ready to come out. I'll be 33 weeks on Friday and he is already weighing in a whopping 5 pounds.. I still cant over that!
I lost half a pound rather than gained.. which is FINE by me.. and my protein was +2. Dr seems to think I have always had spillage in my urine but if thats the case then why didnt it show up in the beginning.. or if it did, why didnt anyone tell me? UGH!
Next appt is for Friday with another BPP. I didnt get to talk to the dr about my hand issue yet so will do that at the appt on Friday. We have made those my regular checkup days. What I hate is that I am so close to the finish line but feel like I am NEVER GOING TO CROSS IT! July 13 is never gonna make it here.. Heck, we arent even in June yet.. though I suppose thats not a bad thing since I live closer to the coast nowadays! UGH! Hurricane season is upon us once again! I certainly hope we dont have a HURRICANE going on when I am delivering Talon. That would suck! LOL.
2006-05-30 (32 weeks)
not sleeping in afterall! My husband has a knack after he leaves for work to call me on the cell.. this is typically a few minutes after I get back home so its not bad since I am already awake. Well, considering I used to be awake at 7 a.m. I shouldnt complain but I will. Since David is no longer in school, I figured if my appt isnt until 10:30 a.m., I would sleep in until 9. God knows I need it since I rarely get any sleep at night. ARGH! Well, as fate would have it, my husband decides he wants to call me.. just to hear my voice. I know I know I shouldnt gripe but I really am a bear when I dont get enough sleep and clearly I havent been getting it! I was like honey I love you but Im going back to bed.. I tried sleeping for a few minutes and realized my body was getting a workout. Yep, baby Talon is awake! <sob> Now I dont mind him moving, just not at that moment. Oh well! What can you do? I guess when David and I hit the drs office, I'll try to get a snooze in during the NST. Ive done it once for a short period. When I come home, Im gonna go back to sleep until he calls me to pick him up! He said he SHOULD be home around 3 p.m. Give me at least two hours sleep and I'll be fine.. Im only getting an hour at a time anyways! <sob>
Now I have a question for all you soon to be mothers out there.. or even mothers now! Its been bothering me and I need to have some feedback please! Has anyone hands or feet gone tingiling and then numb and you literally have to shake it back awake? If so, when is it most bothersome for ya? My issue is my right hand.... At night, when I try to sleep.. I like to lay on it but not for too long.. however, lately I cant even lay it high above me without the tingle sensation. Also, when I type on the computer.. mind you I am right handed... it goes all funny and its hard to type or even move the mouse. I finally got an ace bandage and wrapped it like it was a carpel tunnel problem. The worst of the problem is it starts to swell if I let it go too long.. which is mere minutes! I cant raise my hand above my head because of this.. any clues anyone! PLEASE!
