We need an extra large dose of it at this point. Tomorrow i will have been home from work for two weeks now. I am not supposed to be getting used to being home without the baby, i might get a little too comfortable with such a relaxed schedule. I need to be starting my mommy duty.
Yesterday joe asked me how i was feeling for the millionth time this week. i said "just fine" and then realized for the first time that he doesn't want me to feel good. He wants me to be in labor! He just laughed when i called him on it. He's looking forward to asking me how i'm doing, and me responding with teeth clenched, "Not so good!!" At this point, so am I.
2006-06-07 (40 weeks)
Happy Due Date to us...
We're here, we've made it all the way. So, where's the baby? Apparently pretty darn comfortable hanging out under my skin.
I had my doctors appt. yesterday and didn't end up having the exam so i have no idea if i've started to dilate or anything. Everything has shown that there's still a perfectly healthy baby in there so patience is all we have to go on now. I'm trying to enjoy the peace and quiet while it still exists but i'm also looking forward to meeting the little person inside of me. I can't remember what it feels like to not be pregnant. I would like to have my old clothes back. I like to wear joe's t-shirts now because then i don't have to be constantly tugging the bottom of my maternity shirts to keep my belly covered. Did you hear me? My MATERNITY clothes don't fit me anymore! This past week i decided i don't like going out in public by myself. I feel like a freak, too many people taking too many long looks. Just yesterday when i got off the elevator heading to my appt., some white haired gentleman looked at me and said, "Looks like you got a baby and a half in there!" Wow, that's great. Thanks a lot old man.
Come on out little Joey and have a birthday, will ya? People who love you are waiting.
2006-06-05 (39 weeks)
We're Still Here
It's Monday morning and no, we haven't had the baby yet. We went for yet another walk last night, even stopped by the local elementary school and spent some time on the swings. Baby's just not ready yet. It's Monday morning and we're about to walk to Starbucks and watch all the sad people stop in for coffee on their way to work.
Joey's due date is in two days!!
2006-06-03 (39 weeks)
No, i don't feel any different today. My husband asks me every day if we're going to hospital to have a baby. Every night he says, "Well we better get ourselves rested so we can get up and go have a baby." Every day he's been asking if i feel any different. weird pains? cramping? He's always touching my stomach, promptly and enthusiastically telling me when my uterus is rock hard which means it's practicing for labor. I can feel his eyes intensely studying the shape of my belly as i walk by him, trying to tell if joey's dropped down at all.
Oh but he's not alone. My mother has to talk to me once a day to see if anything's changed. If she doesn't hear from me in a timely manner after leaving a message (like ONE hour), something in her mind convinces her that i'm in labor and she's not being informed about it. Every time i talk to her she reminds me that she's got her cell phone with her and turned on at all times - on her desk at work, on her pillow at night ;O
And i'm wondering why they're the ones so anxious for this baby to come out, i'm the one lugging him around under my skin 24/7! I really don't feel a huge rush to have the baby, but i think that's partly because i don't know what it's going to be like after we bring him home. I'm hoping that the motherly instinct will kick in after our baby's born, but since i've never had a child of my own, some doubts still linger. Although, i do know that i would probably put my life on the line if i had to just to save the life of my CAT, so i imagine that my love for my child will something quite fierce and powerful. Why do i worry at all? i know that God holds our lives in His hand. Maybe i do want this baby to come out, then i can stop thinking about it and just start living it. I really don't worry about it usually, it's just when i start writing about it. so i'm going to stop now.
joe and i realized a couple of days ago how we have changed over the last few years. Entertainment and fun used to be meeting up with friends and having drinks, spending too much money eating out. On Thursday, someone came and set up a little fruit stand across the street. Nothing was in it yet, but the little shack was just sitting there. It's embarrassing how excited i felt on the inside when i thought of the fresh fruit they would likely be selling the next day. A couple hours later, joe came upstairs and the first thing he says is, "did you see the fruit stand?!" i love our life.
This past week i decided i don't like going out in public by myself. I feel like a freak, too many people taking too many long looks. Just yesterday when i got off the elevator heading to my appt., some white haired gentleman looked at me and said, "Looks like you got a baby and a half in there!" Wow, that's great. Thanks a lot old man.
