Pink or Blue?
Today is Friday.
I'm eating some grapes right now and I'm feeling fine.
I had a dream last night that I was in one of my classes, .......doing something....
I can't remember much about it.
The next courses start August 18th. - I'll have to decide very soon now if I'm gonna sit out a quarter since I am starting the new job and all..it's probably best to sit out or just take maybe one online course which is probably what I'll do......Every credit counts....
Yesterday I entertained the idea of the name ******. Today I don't like it.
It is an Italian name. We found both a name for a girl or boy here:
http://www.babynamesworld.com
I want these books...
http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/biblio?partner_id=26121&cgi=biblio&show=Hardcover%3ANew%3A0738206059%3A25.00
http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/biblio?inkey=17-0787952346-0
Within the last 24 hours I've registered at Target and Babies-r-us....yes, you may assume I'm a lil' anxious.......
Some moments I hope for a girl, some moments I hope for a boy.
My first appointment is on August 15th. I'm sure finding out about our pregnancy so early is only gonna make these next 30-or-so odd weeks go by so slowwwwwww...
John hopes only for a healthy baby. Well of course I hope for that first too, but he won't even tell me which one he wants more - a boy or a girl.
Girls get hooked-up with tons of cute options for clothes and accessories. Boys usually don't have as many options....
Girls stay close to home, as far as their relationship with their family - Their kids are closer to the family, verses boys who tend to gravitate toward their wives side of the family....(of course, there are always exceptions)......
Girls tend to excel in school - Boys sometimes have a harder time focuses on academics.....(again, of course, there are always exceptions)
........but then again, Girls have that "hair" issue......boys you can just brush and gooooo...
........Girls have that monthly cycle issue too...(sigh...I know how hard is it for me....and it was alot worse during puberty )
Overrall........boys probably rule. I've read somewhere the odds of having a boy are higher, yet I thought it was the opposite.
I definitely want to know the sex and don't feel the need to be surprised.......I wanna know as soon as possible....I probably won't know until around Thanksgiving.
Looking at next years calender, my birthday is on MOTHER'S DAY next year...which only happens like every seven years.....that's cool!
Nevertheless, fitness has to be on the top of the priority and things-to-think-about list. I need to hit the gym today since I haven't been since last Sunday---which is awful. Cherry urged me to start working out early......I was doing great last month when my cousin Tina, Robin's daughter, was here visiting from Atlanta. We worked out alot together and I was going nearly everyday - actually I did go for 20 days straight.....which sent my body on a sky high surge........,I lost like 8 lbs in June alone - but noticed recently that I was gaining it back.....After Crystal and Lee's wedding on July 9th, which was basically like a family reunion, my thrill for the gym had fizzled, and I was just tired and lacked motivation. I need to get back in to that mode,at least with doing cardio daily, real quick - starting today - Fridays are always good start days for me.
The sooner, the better.
|
The 6th Sense.....
Today, Thursday, I was a lil' wiped out today and didn't manage to crawl outta bed until about 1pm. I was dizzy and just tired with a dull headache - so I just decided to take it E-Z -- Plus I'm taking extra caution not to stress out.
John is suffering from daddy's morning sickness. He's unusally tired and has awful headaches now---which probably is attributed mainly to overrall stress. I know he's really scared but just won't admit it.
Today we searched for hours for names on the internet and talked about all the things we need to buy in the future. I started a baby registry at babies r us and had to explain over and over to John why good breast pumps cost over $150. lol - he had no idea how expensive all this stuff really is...
I'm still freaking out daily over little things.....that's been happening all month,,,but not until recently have I been able to understand why......Earlier this week, I guess around Monday, I kept feeling like something just wasn't right......and poor John, geez, he just couldn't do anything right without me throwing a fit! For example if he said "Boy, Its gonna be hot today!"...I'd say......"How do you know it's gonna be hot? I hate the heat! Why do you always have to say it's going to be hot!?!?!, blah blah blah blah blah"..... - just totally not being myself.....Last week I remember telling Lisa that John was getting on my nerves and I was mad at him....she asked why and of course I had no reason at all.....I just was......lol. As emotionally unstable as I've been, I think he actually completely ignored it all until this past Monday, when we went to see the Hustle & Flow....after the movie, I parked my car in my gargage and as we were walking up to my place and the view was breathtaking with both ferrys passing each other in the bay, he suggested we walk to the edge and just "Relax......and take a few minutes to enjoy the view".......and we did...as we walked to the edge of the cliff he put his arms around me......and we just stood in silence......and all of the sudden....
**** I started Crying Crying Crying for no reason***
For a moment, I thought about my Mom, and my Dad, and how much I missed them....
For a moment, I thought about how often people just don't sit back, and thank God for some of the most beautiful things in life....
For a moment, I thought about how upset and frustrated I had been, over almost everything, --just the day before on Sunday, I hung up on my sister Lisa and Robin during a 3-way conversation when I was on my way to the gym with Cherry because Lisa told me to "get off the phone" thinking I wasn't paying attention to the conversation, when really I was....but just her saying that really hurt my feelings! LOL - that was me, being totally super sensitive...
Then for a moment, I got scared,......because I was sitting there with tears rolling down my face, and I really didn't know why....
That's when John turned and looked at me and said. ........"What is wrong?"....."Don't cry, don't cry -- why are you crying?"....
...and I quickly snapped outta that one....not responding and not wanting him to see me cry., quickly wiping my tears away.....and we just walked back up to my place........I ended up taking a nap that afternoon.....
I found an article that totally explains miraculous conceptions....hmmm, figures.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2005/01/050111163505.htm
Anyways, today I was actually feeling a little bit better. Went grocery shopping and I made tacos and mexican rice tonight(yummy). I bought two pregnancy magazines today and one of my favorite cashiers noticed the purchase and said "Congrats, when are ya due?" - I told him end of March and he was happy because he too is an Aries, and of course assured me that they are the best people on earth.
We'll probably go out for dinner tomorrow to celebrate. Unlike yesterday, I'm not feeling as much active activity in the tummy area today,...which slightly worries me. Not that I'm expecting to feel movement or anything this early, but it just seems like yesterday my whole stomach area felt.....odd......and today it feels normal......
but ah, such is life.
Well Aunt Verna should be home by now from her surgery, so thats good news. Ricky will be here on Saturday and I have to remember to order a honey-baked ham tomorrow since Robin and I are doing dinner. Speaking of my cousin, Minister Robin Davis,  , boy does she have some sort of spiritual insight. I don't know what it is but within the last few days she has been bringing up the subject of marriage and starting a family with John. At one point I stopped and asked her "do you know something I don't know?" thinking maybe John had secretly revealed some of our personal plans to my family. She said no she didn't but just felt like it was time for us to starting thinking about making things more final....and little does she know we have been talking about that in detail....seems like she has some spiritual ears roaming around here...I'm not kidding, it's been very odd....she even said she had been talking to her boyfriend Leo about us and my new job offer and how things were going really good for us....she really likes John, and has from the beginning. Well the whole family likes John, sometimes I think even more than they like me  . She told me again how lucky I am to have such a good guy with such a good kind heart. We both laughed for a moment at some of my awful past relationships...it's truly like going from dirty rags ......to riches. Earlier I talked to her and told her I was disturbed because John didn't know what year I was born, another thing that really hurt my feelings (lol)....(of course he figured it out but when in our cell phone conversation today on his way home, in regards to what we were talking about, I asked him, "you know what year I was born in right?"...he goes "yea, 1972!"...with so much assurance....."I'm like John? 1972???? are you sure?" and he said "yeah!".......then he thinks about it and says, "no no, 1973!."......and boy that just reallllllllllly made me mad.....so I quickly said " I'm gonna go now!!!" - thinking how dare he not know what year I was born)....lol...so when I shared that with Robin she just couldn't believe how I was sweating the small stuff like that.....and we laughed about it....but in that moment.....he really hurt my feelings-------- lol - later he told me he figured out it was 1974.....- and I just responded but telling him how off the top of my head I know he was born in 1977 and he should know my year too, in the event he has to fill out some sort of paperwork for me or something.....and of course he gave me that familiar look that he's been giving me alot recently beginning with this look in his eyes of "I know you've got alot going on in that body of yours right now.....so you'll get another free pass today and I'll just ignore your super sensitivity" followed by a deep sigh....and said...."Ok babe."
When I told my Lisa about my new job, one of her first comments before she told me a story about how her 7 year old daughter Alysha has now advanced to ordering Prime Rib for dinner in restaurants(she's so much like me at her age), was "well that's good because you need a great job like that to afford those expensive kids you and John will have"....as if she too knew something!.....in a few months I'm sure it will be pretty obvious,but I do believe sometimes our inner spirit can pick up on things like babies in the womb, and such.....
We've only shared the news with a few people. John talked to his best friend Noel, a new father of seven months, to get some advice and a little counseling almost immediately after I shared the news with him. I told Cherry, my best friend, well actually she told me. Cherry knows me better than anyone in this whole entire world. Almost each and every one of my deep darkest secrets have been shared with her, we have been friends for over 10 years now, and I trust her with my life. We are so close that all I did was call her cell phone- she picked up and said - "Hey girl"...I said "Gurlllllllllll".......she said "WHAT!!!"......i repeated......"Girlllllllllllllll"...she said, "Girl.......WHATTTTTTTTT!".....i sighed......then she screamed "Girl........you pregnant!!!!???!?!?"....I said "Yea..."...and mind you, we had no previous conversations about this......she had just asked me a few days before if things we were making sure to use my birth control......but somehow, from my voice, she just knew. Her youngest son Carthon was a surprise baby when her and her husband Jessie were using birth control, yet she believes her pill must not have been the right dosage, so she totally believed how something like this could happen. She screamed with happiness and excitement and called me all through the day, as if she was the father with the good news or something. Her sister, Tiffany, is pregnant too, maybe a few weeks ahead of me - so she gets a double whammy of being an Auntie. She's done having children and said she can never experience the joy of little babies again, so is very excited to see both me and her sister become new mothers together. I'll be needing her advice the whole way through since she used to be an OBGYN RN for Kaiser but now works for Solano County visiting newborn mothers at home. Between her and my other best friend Dr. Marlo K. , (who was also excited about the news, wishing it was her, since she wants of total of three kids, unlike her husband who refuses to even entertain that idea)- I'll be able to have 24/7 oncall nurse and doctor advice - hee hee . Marlo and Cherry both are married and have 2 children, 1 girl and 1 boy, their girls being the eldest child. Marlo couldn't wait to share the news with her husband Hassan. She encouraged me to really take it easy, and not stress, even with the new job. If anyone should know about stressful pregnancies, it is probably her, since she was still in medical school while pregnant with both of her children. We have been friends since we were 14. She's such a warrior and has beat so many of odds by successfully completing college being a premed student UCLA, medical school, residency, and everything else while married...and pregnant. I'm really proud of both of my closest friends..
I also had to tell my denist yesterday, when I went for my regular 6month cleaning. Her eyes lit up with happiness and a smile. She proceeded to tell me how she can't have children, but was recently a labor coach for one of her best friends who had a baby in June. She told me how many nifty cool gadgets they have now in Kaiser and how you can see a contraction coming and all.....After telling me about her friends situation, being recently divorced, and having a jerk for a ex-hubby, she quickly inquired about my relationship status, and was happy to hear that I most likely wouldn't have to go through a stressful pregnancy since I am in a pretty secure relationship. She warned me of gingivitis, which is wayyyyyyy common for pregnant women, and encouraged me to keep cleaning and flossing, often and.....several times daily. Overrall, the cleaning was successful, cavity free of course, and the dentist said my teeth looked great. It's such a blessing to be able to have children - here she was, a young, maybe 37-38 years old, really nice woman, great personality,...unable to have children. I felt really sorry for her, but she assured me she totally lives vicariously through other people , like her best friend, and their children. We won't see her again until early February....I'll be showing for sure then....
Later that day, I mentioned to John the labor coaching idea....I said "John, will you be my labor coach?"....he looked at me with excitement and said "Yeah!!!" - All this pregnancy stuff is so new to him.......I've had to explain everything to him from the how many weeks a pregnancy is, when are the different trimesters, to whats going on each day in my body (thanks to a cool pregnancy day-by-day website that tells you what is forming each and every day)...and almost everything else....so when he quickly answered supporting the idea of being a labor coach and turned away, looking a little puzzled....I said, "John??...do you know what a labor coach is?"...he looked at me with that winning smile and said just as cheerfully ".......NO!!!!!" - Lol - That was so funny, we both cracked up.
..Lisa and family should be in the sweltering heat of Vegas manana to celebrate Nancy&Roz's bday.....geez, I wish we would've known earlier so we could've planned to go to Vegas too......that trip would've been right on time. |
The 1st 24 hours
Hello and Welcome to my personal online baby blog!!!!
Today is Wednesday, and......I'm PREGNANT!!!---Well we just found out about 24 hours.......actually 26 hours ago! Today I was feeling pretty good - I didnt sleep well last night, nerves and excitement I'm sure ----
I've decided to start a blog and recap every day about my life as an expecting parent. A blog is like an online diary.....blogging started many years ago in the late 90s , but it has now become more popular in the last year or so......We haven't shared the news with many of the most important people in our lives yet, so this will be a great opportunity for all of them to read and catch up on what's been happening......we also will be getting married very soon in the near future, which we were planning on doing in late 2006-early 2007 pre-baby....but it will probably happen alot sooner now.....so this will be a place of busy buzz.... as I share and blog many of my most intimate details!--......I'll be uploading lots of pictures too!!!!!! Please sign the guestbook to let us know you were here! We are very happy and we hope that you will share our happiness with us
Also, I received the best news ever from BPD....a job offer!...based of course if I pass the medical and psych exams.........which is cake.....this whole week has been amazing! It took nearly a year for me to land this job! I'm extremely happy ...... but it will be challenging starting a new job/career......anddddd being pregnant,,,,andddd being a new wife......so everybody please keep me in your prayers....
When it rains it pours....everything is happening at once...
just like John said it would.........I applied for the job before I even met him early last summer....and during this tiresome waiting period, countless interviews, and grueling background investigation, he always said the job offer would come at a time when I least expected it.......talk about timing.......
Thank GOODNESS I didn't know anything yesterday, I would've fainted from Lisa's CRAZY driving to the airport.....(John and I took her and the kids to Oakland Airport to meet her hubby in Vegas for his mom's 60th bday bash)
Cherry is so excited for me, AND TIFFANY, her sister who is also pregnant, perhaps a few weeks ahead of me....and suggested her and I do lots of walking together......
Well I can't miss Tboz and Chilis of TLC debut show coming on in a few minutes, R U THE GIRL........
until manana......
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People Legend
It's probably best that you get familiar with the closest people in my life as I'll be making reference to almost everyone in the next 10 or more months....
Me - The MOTHER....
John - The FATHER.... .....(lol)
The Baby - Future Name unknown
Lisa - My Sister
Robin - My most beautiful Cousin in the world, Aunt Verna&Uncle Pat's daughter
Aunt Verna & Uncle Pat - My mom's sister and husband/my godparents
Cherry - My best friend
Marlo - My best friend
.........and there's mannnnnnny mannnnnnnnnny more people(dont' be offended if you were left out) who will probably be introduced on a daily basis...........stay tuned |
--they flew into Nassau today so they should be sailin' away pretty soon but that was indeed an awful scare.....
...that's what I am!!!......I just gotta remember what I am.......remembering birthdays, making special appearances on special days, and calling from time to time I guess wouldn't hurt either eh?