jj is going to be very spoiled by his grandma

well im officially out of work until 6 weeks after birth.

it's been hard being on bedrest, but i'm really going to try to rest tomorrow.

my ideal day is waking up at 8 or 9 and taking a nap at 3-5 then staying up, like i am now, til 1-2am...

big j has been extremely cranky, i think he's just stressed out about a zillion and one things...

there is no way i wouldve been able to work for much longer, i am feeling back pains and heaviness in my pelvic area right now, and i'm not even too stressed out, i couldn't imagine how it wouldve been lugging to work all this week...

i got bad news from a friend about her pregnancy so i'm thankful that jj has been ok this far...but we still have 2 months to go..

i think he's gonna be a week or so early, hopefully on the 21st or so, so him and jevon will have the same b day..

yippie my supvr. said it would be no prob to get the tues. off i need for lamaze classes, so i'm gonna sign us up manana!...which is great...

i also told her about my appt for my next ultrasound ....and that was no prob. either esp if it fell on one of my scheduled days to work......which is great...

and those were the only 2 good things about work that happened last night...

my lower ab/bladder area is really hurting 2night i could hardly walk.....

i think i need to take it easy.......next week is gonna be stressful enough.......

sigh.........

hard to believe its been 18 years today since my mom died.....ive already had my precrying about it so im probaby all cried out for the rest of the day......

i just have to focus on making it thru feb.........after feb......ill have some time to rest......hopefully.

well my supvr. today tells me they're holding me back .........again.......to retrain.......for the next 2 week........with someone else.........

sigh........

who......in my opinion, is just as bossy as the trainer i have now......so.......that is NOT good news......

i'm extremely frustrated.....she tried to be super nice about it, but bottomline is whatever.....if you wanna pay me over 5gs to keep training me, whatever......i don't care anymore......

i have so many other things to stress out about

i'm SOOOOOOOO annoyed with everything.......i can even make it to my front step home without being annoyed, seeing an authorized veh. in the parking lot.......GOD FORBID someone try to attack me....J wouldn't hear a thing!

that.......on top of work, and everything that comes with it........worrying about here, home, and everything that comes with it.........the things that come with a new marriage, future planning for a baby.............dealing with business decisions.......merging with someone who is not wise about so many things.......and not being on any type of set schedule, especially coming up going to graves for a week, then back to swings.....

i'm very close to a breakdown......