Gracie poo, mommy stole this entry from Aunt Crystal's journal today on the morning of your dedication at church. It has been there for 11 days but God's timing on my reading this was perfect. She loves you baby girl and can't wait for Jessica to get here to play with you. And we love her too for all that she is and who she is becoming more and more every day.We can't wait for baby Jessica anymore then she could wait for you. And guess what Gracie her baby shower is 2 weeks away and YOU little girl get to be there to help her celebrate your new cousin.

The eyes of new life...fresh, fragile, and so innocent. God breathes life into this new little person and it touches the hearts of everyone that surrounds the family blessed by Gods most precious gift. Scott and Misty had their baby today and holding this angel...i felt, awe struck. She looked into my eyes and I felt the presence of God near. Emotion overwhelmed me and it has been the feeling that has overwhelmed my entire day. I feel SO very blessed to know that in a few months that will be me....Proud happy little momma and oh boy I can't wait!!! Jessica is for this family the icing on the cake for James and I, as well as a fresh start. Our other 2 kids haven't had the benefit of being raised in a Christian household all of their life. Due to that and mistakes on our part (things haven't always been great, lets just say our kids have also watched James and I grow up). Jessica will be raised differently simply because we are older, wiser, and much more stable than ever before. Not that we did a bad job with the first 2, they are pretty amazing kids...we will make our share of mistakes with Jessica as well, but we are mature enough to handle it differently. James and I make the most gorgeous babies EVER! Guess it is cause we both so ugly! hahahaa

For Gracie, she is the link that connects a blended family. She will be the one person that links Misty, Scott, Amanda, and Kollin....which is just beautiful to me. Being in a blended family isn't easy, and sometimes it is easy to feel out of place. I'm not speaking from experience just observation. I pray that when any of them feel out of place they will reflect back on the moment they were blessed with Gods Grace and know they are exactly where they belong....each of them is a piece of this beautiful puzzle designed and brought together by God. Gracie will be a constant reminder of that for them. She is beautiful guys congrats!!! We love you! And Gracie....don't grow up too fast!!!! Jessica will be here soon honey!!! lol

AH! Today has been an emotional day....it is a good emotional though and for that I am grateful. Good night all!

So yesterday was a pretty cool yet tiring. Gracie and I are having a hard time with the whole nursing thing. My milk supply is great but it is so strong it is drowning my child. So I started pumping hoping to get to a let down point where I could nurse again without fire hosing the back of the baby's throat to death. Well that worked great the first night till my body accomodated for the milk being pumped and boosted the supply up a notch. I felt like that Cajun chef that does the "BAM take it up a notch" thing when my milk exploded from my boob. My poor baby. She's rooting around making little piggie sounds as cute as can be and mommy's boobs are drowning her.

So I was putting it in bottles...next logical step right? And that was working great until my STUPID BRAND NEW BREAST PUMP quit on me. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr so here I am with boobs 2x the size of my kiddos head that are so painfully swollen and I am trying desperately to manually express them. Nothing like having to squeeze your own breasts while they are engorged to the size of volleyballs. I have tried taking warm showers to cause let down....I have done everything known to man to cause let down so the milk will just dribble out for her...but nooooo I have superwoman milk supply and I can't even get enough out right now to use it. So I am not happy. I have 1 ounce safely stored in the fridge right now because that was all I could get out without crying. Needless to say we've been supplementing with formula and I have been praying. I did manage to nurse for 8 full days before I had to start supplementing. It was a stressful 8 days though because we were having a hard time figuring out why she'd latch and pull off and latch and pull off.....needless to say it has been a much calmer feeding experience for her doing it this way. I am struggling with it though because I can't nurse my own baby. Yes I know I could go get yet another better breast pump but they get really expensive and we are very very strapped right now. I am going to call our Health Department on Monday though and try to keep my milk from drying up till then. They provide nice pumps for 30 days at a time. If nothing else I can pump like crazy and get a bunch frozen. It'd make me feel better. I also am not knocking formula feeding. My first baby had to be formula fed because of c-section complications but I really wanted this opportunity to bond with my baby girl in the most maternal of all ways. And yes we did and she now holds her little fingers wrapped around mine while I feed her with the bottle and she keeps her eyes locked on mine so the bond is there....you guys get it...I know I don't have to explain. I know I am not a failure but emotionally it has been pretty rough the last 36 hours.

Now that I got that off my chest. The good stuff....my dad was awesome and decided that Gracie poo needed a new car seat and stroller so we got the Graco Alano Travel System-La Petite. I can do nothing but rave about it. It is the best little car seat in the world. I feel like she could go down a drag strip in this seat and be fine. It is so nice. And the stroller is a breeze to assemble and use. I put it together in 10 minutes before my son's soccer practice yesterday. I am so grateful.....THEN....her baby picture from the hospital came in. Now I will say I was slightly disappointed because they made it appear better then what it is and considering the astronomical prices for hospital baby pics now....well..I will just say stick with the J.C. Penney's coupons and the Wal Mart Studio ladies....much better deals. But we did get one of the 11X13 frameable scrapbooking pages and it is cute. Not worth the $35 including shipping but I'd rather have it then not. So that was another exciting thing. Next, her umbilical cord came off!!! She has the cutest (biased I know) belly button in the whole entire world. So yesterday was lots of baby milestones. New travel stuff, pics., cord falls off...and..tada...she has started a growth spurt....eating like a piggie every 2 hours BUT she is sleeping reguarly from 11p.m.-5a.m.or anywhere from 5-6:30a.m....it is so awesome. 

She got to go to her big brothers first soccer game today and she took her first official bath tub bath without having to sponge bathe around the cord this morning. I love all this stuff and am so glad to have a place to document it all.

Scott was telling her how much he loves her while feeding her today...just as cute as could be.."yes I wuv you..yes I do...so much daddy wuv's you"...hee hee...he's gonna strangle me when he reads that..lol....but it is cute watching him with her. He is super extra careful cause he's so big manly man and strong he forgets his own strength alot. We've replaced lots of items over the years after he's said "oops"...lol...so he is extra careful with the baby. And he played this song again so I wanted to share it one more. Not just for Gracie poo but all the babies..I am sure all of us mommies feel this way for our kiddo's and kids to be.

I am praying for you all and for those struggling just hang in there. And other Misty  I know you freaked the other night and I do not blame you!!! I had a night similar but they only got 6 minutes apart. We'll just keep praying you through these last few weeks and by faith God will get you there. Keep me updated.

Love in Christ, Misty

Things are going well here in our little piece of the planet. We have amazing family and friends coming by to feed us every night which has given my hubby a chance to bond with his baby girl and oh my goodness has he bonded. Her big sister just thinks she get's watched like a hawk. lol.....Anyway Gracie is now 1 week and 2 days old. She is doing very well and has decided her best time to sleep is from 11p.m.-5 a.m.(YES!!!!) <------ note my excitement....but even if she decided the long stretch needed to be in the middle of the day I'd still be happy. I enjoy every single moment of this and since my recovery has been easy it really isn't difficult to feed 873 times a day. Especially not since the first 24-36 hours she had such a hard time eating. It is nice to see her fat little cheeks filling out and her preciour little legs and arms thickening up. She is very long and thin ....and no we're not real sure where that comes from. Both sides of her family are fairly compact for the most part...but maybe like Kollin she takes after an Uncle in that department. Kollin takes after my Uncle Tom in his build and my Great Uncle Earl in the height deparment. It's cool to watch her change daily and develop more personality. So many people have said "I can't wait until she ...(insert random baby activity here...talk, laugh, crawl, walk, hold her own head up for longer then 10 seconds...) but I can wait. These times right now are the most precious ever. As parents we need to feel that dependence on us for just a little bit because before to long we are looking back yearning for these days while our kids are busy ignorning us and wanting to spend more time with friends.

With that said ladies my prayer today is this, that when we're tired in the middle of the night because it is the 2nd wet diaper in an hour or so and the baby decided to make poopie right after you got that new diaper on....or your so tired from lack of sleep and he/she just won't calm down.....or you are weepy and feeling like a horrible mom.....just take a deep breath...calm yourself down and appreciate the miraculous gift God has chosen to share with you. No matter what the screaming is for take the time to hold that baby close and love it through your frustration. Not everyone is blessed to have the opportunities we've been given. Appreciate every day as it is given to us.

I love you all and hope you are well!

God Bless,

Misty

Yes you read that title correctly. Scott was holding her in a blanket and when he passed her to me all you could see was eyes and the top of her little round head and she looked like a boo bah. It was hilarious...for those of you who have no clue what I am talking about you can google it but you are really not missing anything. i detest that show worse then Teletubbies.

Anywho~ You guys are awesome. Those who've prayed and signed the book and waited right along with us. I am just as anxious for all your little babies to get here.

Our scare in the hospital was tough. We were actually in the middle of her discharge process and I'd already been discharged. The doctor had just said " her heart and lungs are clear and she is good to go" she was walking towards me with papers to sign and I glanced at Gracie and she had stuff pouring out of her nose and mouth and she was quickly turning more and more blue. In the split second it took me to snatch her up and grab the bulb aspirator her lips were dark blue. We aspirated what we could and the doctor took her to the nursery to get her breathing well. She was able to get out a strangled cry in the room but it was terrifying. I looked at Scott and he was just floored trying to control his emotions. I told him to go to her right then and I got dressed enough to head out the door and through the hallway to the nursery. Long story short. I was hysterical and they had on her on these machines and were cutting her little heel AGAIN to draw more blood to see if there was something going on they'd missed. All i could think was you guys were discharging her. I was so angry at first but then I was just grateful to God that we were still there were they could find out what was going on. We heard several things, acid reflx, heart problems, all kinds of things...and it ended up being more mucus that hadn't gotten all the way aspirated after the c-section. When my milk came in it caused the mucus the thicken as she ate. So it was a minor thing but to a momma there is no such thing as minor when your child is blue.

HOWEVER, she is doing excellent. Eating well. Sleeping well. Being an adorbale perfect sweet little angel baby well.....ok so maybe I am biased.

Gracie, I want you to know your mommy loves you more with every breathe you take. With every look you give. Everytime you squirm or stretch or make your little hoot noises as you sleep. I could sit and stare forever if I weren't so sleep deprived from doing that already. I just want to take a picture everyday and document your changes. You will only be this small for a brief period. I love you angel.