For those who've recently...or not so recently lost their child......my heart aches for you. I will pray for you and your anger and pain.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2m1HZekCcc

New pics for those who haven't seen them on Facebook

Gracie poo is 14 weeks tomorrow.  97 days ...3 1/2 months. And her baby cousin will be here at the latest the day after tomorrow.

I have been having a hard time the past few weeks. It is so awesome to get to see her beautiful smile and all the things she is learning to do every day. At the same time it is hard to be so frustrated and edgy and grouchy over the slightest little thing. I am just going from weepy to mad in a split second. I know that PPD is normal for thousands of women after pregnancy and I know it can be severe in some but it is hard for me to understand how I can be so ecstatic about my kids and love them so much I can barely breathe and at the same time feel so sad and miserable. I have dealt with depression since I was young but it has been under control for years now with diet and exercise and God! Having to deal with this mess is no fun. It makes me feel like I am not good enough. I am sure someone understands that. We try so hard as mom's to be perfect and have everything together. Probably because women are so judgemental of each other. We feel that if all is not well then we'll be judged and labeled because of it. I don't know......I really don't know why women are so catty and unforgiving of each others flaws sometimes. I just know that this PPD is crap and I am so glad they actually ackowledge it as a problem and not just something in our heads. I am on a very mild form of anti depressant for the next 3 months and then we will see where we stand. I was given the option of weaning myself off if I feel better and told exactly how to do so but I think that is kind of dumb too. HOW..if you are on meds to keep your moods ok...can YOU possibly know that you are going ot be ok without it? Kinda silly huh?

Anywho~ I guess the big thing is this has made me stop and really re-examine what is important. So what if a load of clothes piles up. Or if dinner isn't ready exactly as I want it to be. The funny thing is I have been the only one stressing about it. Scott has been awesome and totally understanding about things being more stressful then normal or me being more easily stressed then normal. He could care less if we eat at 8 and dinner doesn't start until he can come home and hold the baby. He hasn't been picky about folded clothes actually making it into drawers or on hangers. I have been very blessed because lots of men out there don't understand. I think he also knows he has added an unfair amount of stress to my plate right here at Christmas time with some unnecessary purchases. He also hasn't exactly figured out how important Gracie's schedule is to me yet in order for things to go smoothly but he is learning. He did make a random stop and shw up with a card and some really awesome HUGE pink fuzzy slippers last night. He knew I've been wanting slippers and now I have some hilarious ones that are so me. If any of you have seen the big bear claw looking ones then you know which ones I am talking about. Only he found them in this fuzzy pink and white material and the big huge "nails" are pink and glittery. Amanda cracked up and Kollin will too as soon as he see's them. Beaux our dog tried to eat them off my feet. ...he cracks me up...

Anywho~ back to weird mood swings and the importance of it all...

Most importantly, Gracie poo, when you read this part...I want you to know it is ok to not be perfect and to expect perfection of yourself will make you nuts.People really don't put as much pressure on you as you will put on yourself. It may feel that way at times but when you take a step back and pay attention more often then not it is YOU yourself withthe high expectations.  I really "thought" I had  it all together those first several weeks after you got here. Baby was ready, mommy was ready..we could tackIe the world and go all day...or at least till 9 or so at night. I ran myself ragged is what I did. To other expectant mothers...there is a reason they tell you to take it easy those first 6 weeks regardless of how you feel. Trust me, it will catch up to you.

Ok enough of that...Gracie update time.

Gracie has officially rolled from back to tummy to back again 1 time. So I am now keeping a close eye on her and no more laying on the couch or love seat for naps. She was never not watched when that was going on anyways but now we know for a fact she cannot be left unattended for even a split second if on the couch for a diaper change or anything. I am so on hyper alert right now though she is rarely out of the room I am in much less my eye sight. She has choked 2X this week and while it wasn't bad I was proud that I didn't freak like I used to. I now handle it in a much more calm fashion. We've had 2 babies that we know of pass away in the last 4 days in their sleep. This of course has us on edge because of the weather change making her congested as well as the choking incidents. I haven't slept much since Sunday and I doubt I will sleep well and through the night till she has cleared 6 months.

She is also pulling on her toys on her play mat now and can turn the music on by tugging the little flower. She was just kicking and moving and playing and making the music come on over and over. It was so cute. We have the cam corder charging and I have a digital cam corder on the way for my Christmas present. YAY! I am so excited. It is formatted to transfer video straight to You Tube so there will be more then just the 1 Gracie video on our page soon. I am wanting to do a video with pics of just my 3 and then a different one with pics of ALL the babies in my life. The young and older ones. :o) I am looking forward to it.

Anywho~ I just wanted to update real quick. Miss Priss is awake in her swing so I am off to go play with her. Hope everyone is well.

God Bless,

Misty

Isn't the math of babyhood hilarious?!?!!?

Don't ever try to get a daddy to explain how old the baby is..."ummm I dunno a couple..weeks...errr.months..umm HONEY?!?!!?"

In case being pregnant for 40 weeks equaling out to "9 months" of pregnancy isn't enough then we throw in the 13 week / 3 month old babies. Scott is like but she is 13 weeks....YES..cause there was a 5 week month. She is officially 3 months today because she was born Septemeber 5th...lol. Poor man...

So baby Jessica is 8 days away unless she makes an earlier appearance. I just want to see her and hold her and then let Crystal have the time and space she needs to bond with her. She is going to need my help more in 6 weeks then she will right here in the beginning so I will bide my time. I am so excited I can not wait. Christmas is 20 days away and I am STILL not done. I hate waiting until the last minute. HATE HATE HATE...even though I'm not so worried about big ticket items this year I just do NOT like to shop last minute. But next week I should be able to finish up so all will be ok. I have about $100 worth of stuff to get to finish out my kids and all the others I am buying for so I am excited. Hopefully Kelly will go with Scott to pick out the scrap booking stuff I want. Which i want MORE then the pots and pans I asked for. Those can wait till my bday. I think...I dunno Ima have to weigh that. And to be honest at this point I do not care as long as I get to finish my shopping for the kiddos and finish it soon. It's not even like we go nuts so WHY I have to wait till last second every single year.....just grrrrrrrr....

moving along. Gracie poo is doing fantastically well. She is discovering her voice and squealing and carrying on more and more each day. Definately gets that from me.

She is also more of a morning person like me. She is finally down to 2 naps and she might doze for an hour before dinner but more often then not she doesn't. She was up for 2 very extended periods yesterday and it was alot of fun. She is such a pleasant baby. She is just easy going and wants to play and grin and coo and then eat and go back to sleep. not a whole lot of fussing unless she gets over tired....or if she thinks she might be going anywhere near her car seat. Other then that she is good. I love watching her hit all these milestones. She is really pulling forward and trying to sit on her own and she can now sit and be supported with pillows. She'll hold her little head up and look around. I love it and don't all at the same time. There is no going back to just lying around in your arms and looking about after that...well when she is sleepy and being lovey dovey sweet baby with mommy she does but that is when she is really sleepy but not quite over tired. When she is nuzzling in the curve of my neck and wanting that closeness. THEN she will lay on her side or back in my arms. But for the most part it is "sit me up mommy so I can see the world".

Scott did already order a "suprise" Christmas give. He is worse then my dad when it comes to getting something for me. I am not allowed to be suprised anymore. But I am very excited anyways. It is a digital cam corder/camera/all kinds of things. So I can start working on You Tube videos with actual video and not just pics. I don't have alot of video of my other 2 so i am excited to be able to document things with Gracie like this. Speaking of Gracie poo she is wanting to eat so I am out for now. Hope everyone is doing well.

I got a cool prayer I wanted to share with you all before I go....hope everyone has a blessed day.

In Christ, Misty

This prayer is powerful, and prayer is one of the best gifts we receive. There is no cost but a lot of rewards Let's continue to pray for one another. 

   
The Prayer:

 
Father, I ask You to bless my friends, relatives and those that I care deeply for, who are reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of Your love and power. Holy Spirit, I ask You to minister to their spirit at this very moment. Where there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy. Where there is self-doubt, release a renewed confidence through Your grace. Where there is need, I ask you to fulfill their needs. Bless their homes, families, finances, their goings and their comings. Amen.

I just felt led to share this today. For lots of us this time of year is joyful and merry and all the things that Christmas should be. Now I am not trying to be a downer at ALL but for lots of other people this time of year can be terribly horribly depressing. Be sure to share a smile with everyone you see. You never know who is suffering miserably this holiday season. Granted we should show even strangers this kindness on a daily basis but if we are to be honest we ALL know that depression rates go through the roof during holidays and especially Christmas. For those of you facing the trial by fire...this is for you!

 Malachi 3:3 "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.

 That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining Silver.

 "The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian does make me a different kind of woman. For I have accepted God's idea of me, and my whole life is an offering back to Him of all that I am and all that He wants me to be. " Elisabeth Elliot

Gracie is doing awesome. More and more personality every day. Check out the new pics. If they aren't there give me some time. BabyCrowd doesn't always like to upload my pics. :o) God Bless ~ Misty