I never truly knew the meaning of "TGIF" until I returned to work this past week!  The LONGEST week of my life, arghhhh!!!!! 

But it's over and done with, and we have made it through.  Whew!  There were some moments I didn't think it was possible to get through the day, and there were some moments I didn't think the tears would stop -- but I DID and they DID and we are stronger for it.  Thankfully I have a 4 day weekend ahead of me.  A chance to cuddle up my baby boy, rest and relax!   I might not even think about housework...

Jacob is starting to roll onto his side!  Last night, he made it all the way to his tummy with just a little bit of help.  We were at my parents house with my brother and SIL, and all of us cheered!  :)  He is also so very social and absolutely LOVES the ceiling fan.  He could talk to it all day long, I think!  He is sweet, and smiley and so laid back.....Oh my GOSH, I LOVE THIS LITTLE BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think he's also getting used to a bottle, finally.  Certainly doesn't prefer it, but is tolerating it because, frankly, he's HUNGRY!  But he's had terrible gas -- does that happen with bottles or is it something I'm eating?  Poor baby, he screams in pain sometimes!  I am using gas drops, and pulling his legs to his tummy....but how to prevent some of it?  Oy!

Tomorrow is the start of the Michigan football season.  Tim is very excited to share this "special time of year" with his son.  In honor of college football season, Jacob will wear his U of M onesie and bib (or maybe his Michigan sweatsuit, depending on the weather).  I'll be sure to take pictures!

All in all, life is returning to "normal"...or something similar to it....

Yep, that's right.  Today is August 28th (Happy Birthday, Heidi!) and I am back to work, full time.  My 12 weeks of Maternity Leave are up, and here I am, in the office.  I am surviving. 

Barely.

I've cried about a dozen and a half times (and getting misty-eyed as I type!) already today, and am exhausted from it (not to mention getting up at 4 am to nurse) and the release of anxiety from thinking about this "fateful day" for so darn long.  It's here, it's almost over (okay, not quite, it's only 2 PM), and I'm still alive, by the grace of God.

Jacob is at home with my mom, SIL Anna, and brother Dan.  I think my dad is even stopping by to visit them today.  Last I checked (only once so far...wow!) he was doing great, had slept, taken some of the bottle, and been playing.  Anna held the phone up to his ear so he could "talk" to Mommy.  It made him fuss & be distracted from taking the bottle (he hates the bottle!).  Oops.  But secretly I like that he hates the bottle; it means he prefers me, wants me, and needs me.  I love that!  I love him so much it hurts!!!!

*sigh****

I miss him terribly!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's the day I have to go back to work.  I just confirmed it with my HR department.  Ugghhh....just the thought of being without my sweet baby boy makes my heart sink.  I do not want to go!!! 

2 weeks.  That's all I have left to be at home all day with Jacob.  I will certainly miss these days, these moments.  They have been the most precious weeks of my life. 

At the same time, I am looking forward to returning to a sense of  "normalcy", rejoining the human race.  Though now I have a whole new sense of what "normal" is, and that includes being with my baby!!! 

I'll admit too, it will be tough to balance fulltime work and fulltime parenthood.  I'm nervous that I won't be able to devote myself 100% in both directions.  I will say that my role as a mother comes first, no matter what though.  Jacob will always come before my work.  There is nothing more important than him, and being his mother.  I know he needs his mother.  That is a wonderful feeling.

My father-in-law looked at me last night, holding Jacob as he was in and out of being extremely fussy, and said to me most sincerely, "You're a good mother".  Wow.  He went on to say that he remembers when my niece, Karinne, was a baby & we used to sit together in the same recliner that Jake and I sat in last night, that he knew then that I was going to be a great mom, that I was "getting practice with her".  It's true.  I've been waiting my whole life to be a mother.  I didn't want to be a mom any sooner than this, but being a Mom is what I've always longed for.  And here I am, in the midst of motherhood, in my glory.  And I know that there is nothing better in the world!

And soon I'll have to leave my sweet Little Man in the care of my loving family.....

*sniff* *sniff*

But I will ALWAYS come back, Baby Jake.  I will ALWAYS come back to you!!!!!

Jacob had his 2 month check up today.  Drumroll please.....

at 9 weeks and 2 days, he weighs 14 lbs, 12.5 oz and measures 24.75 inches = 90th percentile for weight and height.  I knew he was BIG, but WOW!!

He also got his first set of immunizations today.  Ugghh...it about broke my heart.  He was so happy all day long, giggling and cooing and "talking" up a storm, and the whole time at the Pediatrician's office, until the nurse stuck him with the first needle.  His eyes got really big and he just wailed.  Poor, poor baby.  I know it hurt him, but I definitely shared the pain with him.  I cried along with him!  He screamed and screamed until I nursed him.  After he finished eating, he looked up at me and Tim (whom I made come with me!) and smiled, satisfied, as if to say "I'm okay Mom".  My heart melted.  I love this Little Man more than anything else in this world.  I knew I loved my husband, but the love for my child is so much more than anything I can describe... 

I've given him Tylenol, and he's been sleeping ever since...through a trip to Kohl's and Babies 'R' Us - where I purchased him a playmat as his "prize" for being such a good boy!

Thank you, Lord for blessing us with Jacob.  Thank you for carrying us through our first "tough day" as parents...we know there are many more to come that you will also carry us through. 

Jacob, I love you so much.  You were so great at the doctor's today, so brave!  Keep on smilin' and loving life, Sweet Baby....you bring your Daddy and me so much JOY!  I am honored to be your mother.