Almost there I feel so disappointed in myself. I really wanted to do this journal faithly but I haven't gotten to it. With a practically two year old and being constantly busy I haven't had time to get to this. Christopher is growing very much and very healthy. At my last visit I asked the nurse if she could tell me how big he was b/c to me he feels about 30lbs haha. She felt on my left side (which he favors greatly) and his back is there and she got a grib on him and he's about 5lbs already. They feel he won't be a big baby. But they think the reason he seems so big to me is b/c Kylee was so small. Gary and I are down to a month left and then we'll be the proud parents to two children. I am still in shock that at 22 years old I have both my children..the two I always dreamed of having. I knew that I wanted 2-3 children but I am fine at 2..although Gary is convinced that once Christopher is no more a baby that I will be wanting another one. BUT..haha..I am so busy with just Kylee..I can only imagine 2..soooo I think 2 is the perfect amount of children for us to have. I am always wondering who Christopher will look like and if he'll have that jet black hair that Kylee had..which now is a light brown with red highlights like mine....but it has its days where it is very dark like mine will do. I am curious to know if he'll be a clone of Gary or of me..or look like a combination. I am just getting too anxious now haha..with it being down to a month of just one child.
Kylee just got over an ear infection and went through an AWFUL screaming fit for 4 days..where she wouldn't let herself go to sleep and would scream uncontrollably and wouldnt' let us console her. But for the past few days she's been better and has been sleeping through the night. She is a very active little girl and so smart. She has no tried to trick us by using her Bert (from sesame street) to get her things haha. This morning she said.."bert wants ice cream" and of course haha...I told her..well honey tell him we dont' have any...it's too early..so she told bert no ice cream..then tried asking for herself since using Bert wasn't working haha. The other night when she first got him she was carrying on a conversation in the back seat with him and says to him.."Bert..french fries..YA..OKAY" so excited and did Gary and I laugh and when we stopped to get our dinner she goes..Bert..FRENCH FRIES YAY..haha. She's quite the character. She's starting to talk in sentences and knows what everything is. I would love to have some of her energy though...Being 8 months pregnant and not being able to move or go as quick is not helping me keep up with her haha. Once Christopher comes though I know she'll be excited. A few weeks ago she kissed my belly..hugged it and then put a blanket on it for her Bro. I am sure she'll fall in love with him and want to play with him and hold him. She's a very gentle girl so we're not worried. She loves everyone up.
Well...I must go finish my dishes and get her lunch and then down for a nap..I HOPE haha..I miss nap times.
2008-04-22 (32 weeks)
Update Well I will finish what i put in earlier..that was an article I read and I thought it would work on this. Everything is going great. Christopher is doing great..growing very fast I think haha. All my tests and have come out great YAY. He is a very active little boy. Yet his favorite spot is my left side down by my hip..where he is now haha. I think he loves that side. I can't believe it is almost time to meet him. Kylee knows her "bro" is in my belly. The other day she did the sweetest thing. She came over and kissed my belly..hugged it and then put a blanket on it for bro. So adorable and just a sweet little girl. I cannot wait for her to have her little brother with her. She needs a little playmate..well she'll have to wait a few months to attempt to play with him but I am sure she'll love him just the same. She loves babies that is for sure. This upcoming month we have to plan her birthday party early since Christopher comes VERY close to her birthday and we want her to have a day for just her. My little cousin who is 6 is hoping it will be at a lake again haha..but we're not sure. We wanted to just do it here..b/c we have that huge backyard..a blow up house..and the grill and she has a ton of outdoor toys so I think we can just do it here..that and I can sit comfortably here at home..b/c I get VERY uncomfortable very quickly..seeing as how Christopher sits so low it feels like I will drop at any moment haha. In my opinion I feel he'll be 6.5lbs..7 at the most..and my grandmother said that she is convinced he will be a tiny baby..hahahahah. To me he just feels pretty big. I cannot wait though until he comes. I am getting SOO anxious now.
I am hoping to get Kylee onto a schedule that I know will work with two children b/c she's now into her throwing fits stage and nap time she isn't a huge fan of but she still needs one to function haha. If she doesn't get a nap she gets meaner and meaner by the hour haha. She can now count to six all by herself and some days can get to ten. She's very smart and picks things up very quickly. She loves to color,do her puzzles and play with her blocks mostly and loooooves to be outdoors. She is a very energetic child. I just wish I had the energy she had or some of it haha.
Well I am going to relax a bit while she's laying down..yesterday after being out all morning by back hurt so bad I couldn't stand myself haha so today I am taking it very easy. I shall update again soon
2008-04-22 (32 weeks)
It Will Change Your LIfe Time is running out for my friend. We are sititng at lunch when she casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family". What she means is that her biological clock has begun its countdown, and she is being forced to consider the prospect of motherhood.
"We're taking a survey," she says, half joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?" "it will change your life," I say carefully, keeping my tone neutral.
"I know," she says. "No more sleeping in on Saturdays, no more spontaneous vacations..."
But that is not what I mean at all. I look at my friend, trying to decide what to tell her.
I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of childbearing heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will be forever vulnerable.
I consider warning her that she will never read a newspaper again without asking, "What if that had been my child?" That every plane crash, every fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.
I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a souffle or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation.
I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for child care, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think about her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just o make sure her child is all right.
I want my friend to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather tahn the women's at McDonalds will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in the restroom However decisive she may be at the office, she will second guess herself constantly as a mother.
Looking at my attractive friend, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years-not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish his. I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.
My friend's relationship with her husband will change but not in the ways she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is always careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his son or daughter. I think she should know that she will fall in love with her husband again for reasons she would would now find very unromantic.
I wish my friend could sense that bond seh will feel with women throughout history who have tried desperately to stop war and predjudice and drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane whenI discuss the threat of nuclear war to my child's future.
I want to describe
