My boss was very happy to hear that I was pregnant. He's been extremely supportive, though he doesn't want to have to replace me. He is a huge proponent of moms staying home with their children, yet he wants me to keep working after I have the baby. He has put a lot of work into training me for this position as accountant and office manager. It's a job that involves a lot of work and is definitely a lot to learn. I have enjoyed it so far and to be honest, I don't like the idea of leaving either. I've been working since I was 15, and for some reason I had expected that after having a baby I would just get right back to working. My boss had even suggested recently that I bring the baby in to work with me for awhile so I wouldn't have to put it in daycare. I thought at first it was a crazy idea but then after awhile I really started to think it would work. Six weeks maternity leave, bring the baby to work until 5 or 6 months old, then put it in daycare. I had even entertained the thought of going down to part time in order to still have some income but have some added time with my baby.

All this was shattered when I talked to my boss again yesterday. When he suggested bringing the baby in, he meant for no longer than a month. And there is no way I can change to part time. He wants this position to be full time and that's it. I don't blame him. It's a full time workload, and it would be hard to switch to sharing it between two part time employees. I don't believe I could physically and mentally handle working full time and raising a baby, not to mention the anguish of being away from our little baby 40+ hours every week. So I am faced with a decision: Find a different job to work part time, or stop working altogether.

These are big decisions we are facing. Just like the J&J commercial says, having a baby changes everything. I went home from work yesterday in a rather emotional state.  I had to rethink everything. What is best for the baby? What are my limitations? How are we going to make this work?! We have been living on two incomes for over 7 years and it's hard to imagine switching to just one. It would cut our income in half. But I really really want to be home to raise my baby. I believe the sacrifice would be worth it, both for our baby and for my sanity.

I went through our budget and figured that we could pay all the monthly bills with Mike's income, but not much would be left over. I would probably have to do some kind of work at home to bring in some extra income. Plus we would have to have a good chunk in savings as a buffer since Mike works 100% commission and his paychecks can be very unpredictable. I think with some good planning and determination we could do it.

My initial blood test last week showed an hcg level of 1435, and when I went back two days later for another one I was up to 3581. So it more than doubled but I hope that isn't a sign of twins. I don't know if I could handle twins!

In addition to the nausea I now have a cold. I was up all night with a stuffy nose and a sore throat. It still continues today and it sure makes working an extra challenge. I know pregnant women are out there working full time jobs every day but I just don't know how they do it! I have a feeling this is going to be a long first trimester.

Up until now my only symptoms had been sleepiness and excessive urination. Yesterday I woke up feeling as if someone had used my breasts as punching bags. This morning I woke up feeling very queasy. I need to find something I can eat but nothing sounds good right now. Ugh. Well at least it's a good sign that I'm still pregnant

My sister loaned me some great reading material, "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and a great magazine called "As Your Baby Grows". The magazine covers all of the scientific things that are going on, how the baby is developing, and it has some great pictures. It's fascinating.

I love babies and I am looking forward to having one of my own, but really I'm just excited about being a mom. Looking forward to the next 18+ years.

It hasn't even been a week since we found out we were pregnant and it is still very surreal. I don't feel much different physically yet, so maybe when I start feeling more symptoms it will start to sink in.

My husband is just too excited. I haven't seen him this happy in a very long time. He is already shopping around for cute toys and shirts for the baby. I think he will make a wonderful dad.