I wrote a very long post about my low blood sugar and feeling dizzy and the creepy dreams I've been having that involve old ladies holding branches and telling me they're going to 'turn my baby over', when I suddenly heard what sounded like chirping coming from the ceiling of my basement, just above my head.
As in, a bird. Inside of my house. Living in the walls.
These pregnancy symptoms are either reeeeeally getting to me, or Chad and I are going to have a very little interesting problem on our hands.
2008-01-17 (20 weeks)
Every Girl Has a Hero and an Angel
It's hard sometimes, being pregnant and away from my parents. These hormones make one so emotional, so incredibly deep to an extent I've never known before, that it's strange to feel so physically distant from them. It doesn't help that I want them to experience every single thing along with my husband and I during this first pregnancy at the exact same time these new and exciting things happen.
I'm lucky, I know, because I can go back home whenever our schedules agree, and they can visit me often. A lot of people don't get even that.
But even so, it's not the same as having them down the block, or across the street, or twenty minutes away. They can't come over for dinner last minute, and they can't lend us an egg when I'm baking and I realize I don't have any left.
It's the little things, those little moments that they have to hear about over telephone or by email that makes me feel sad. Trips need to be planned in order for them to feel their first grandchild moving for the first time, hours need to be set aside for eyebrow appointments made together and meals at the same table.
I miss the last minute, the spur of the moment, the unexpected.
I know I'm still one of the lucky ones. Despite the fact that we live in different cities, we are not really that far away. And that's exactly what my parents always remind me, with a smile and a hug, every time we part. We both have lives in different places, and it's normal and it's good and it's okay. I know this.
But I suppose having a baby, is just making me feel ever more like their baby, and there's nothing wrong with wanting to hold their hands again.
2008-01-16 (20 weeks)
Say, Wha?
Today I forgot how to turn on a light switch. It seems strange to actually admit this, but it was true.
There I was, standing in the doorway of the bathroom, pressing the switch as hard as I could while nothing happened. No light. I stared up at the light fixture in the ceiling and wondered if it had blown a fuse. Chad would have to change it when he arrived home.
And then, as if something just turned *on* in my brain, I remembered that I had to flick the switch UP.
Voila, and there was light.
This random forgetfulness over simple things seems to be suddenly a part of my day to day life. It started off quite simple, forgetting to return phone calls, not remembering my parent's home phone number, etc. But then it turned into bigger things, like being completley taken aback when someone came to visit at the house even though it had been planned for days, or trying to remember if I had just shampooed my hair or not.
I have been beginning to feel like a bit of a mental case lately, unable to keep things in focus. My attention span seems to be increasingly short, and I feel as though I can barely do anything right without having someone check it over again to make sure I've locked all the doors or I've put the dirty dishes into the dishwasher and not the cupboard.
Apparently I'm not alone.
Connie Matthiessen, a Consumer Health Interactive on a Medical Advisory Board did a little write up on what I seem to be experiencing. Here is a peice from it.
Many mothers-to-be call these occasional slips of memory "mommy brain" or "pregnancy amnesia." Even very organized and efficient women say they are distracted and find it harder to maintain their focus and concentration during pregnancy.
In fact, according to a report published in The Australian Journal of Advanced Nursing, 82 percent of the women surveyed reported some type of absentmindedness or inability to concentrate during pregnancy. Of those women, 68 percent reported general changes in recall or memory, 54 percent had problems concentrating or paying attention, and 52 percent experienced absentmindedness.
Whatever the cause, forgetfulness is likely to worsen as a pregnancy progresses (thus the term "last-trimester fog"). Along with the hormonal changes you experience, you may be preoccupied with the prospect of childbirth and of caring for a new baby. Worries about difficult labor, your personal finances, the baby's health, and how you will handle motherhood may be more pronounced, adding to the distraction. Sleep is often erratic during pregnancy, and you may become even more forgetful if you are tired during the day.
The good news is that this "pregnancy brain" is apparently only short-term, lasting until you give birth and the hormone levels decrease to their normal state.
And while explaining all of this to my husband he just smiled and patted my cheek softly.
"Honey," he said gently, "are you sure it's not just because you're blonde?"
Oh dear husband, I cannot wait until we are both in the delivery room.
2008-01-15 (20 weeks)
Sharing With Family
Well, life pregnant seems to be getting a heck of a lot easier than it was to start. I finally have enough energy to actually do things again, and I think the dog is learning how to curse now that this big bellied lady can suddenly chase after him when he's ripping apart toilet paper from the bathroom.
The Baby is getting larger and I can tell this because the kicks are no longer directed in the pelvis region. They seem to be occuring just below my bellybutton, and are growing more pronounced and stronger with each day.
While my brother was visiting this past weekend he had the chance to feel the baby move for the first time. I was so excited to share that part of the pregnancy with him, and couldn't wait to see what his reaction would be.
So when he rested his hand on my belly, and the Baby gave a giant kick, I watched as his eyes grew large and his hand withdrew just as quickly as his entire body.
"Oh my god," he said, partly stunned and half-laughing, "that felt like a big poo."
