Well the prenatal appointment yesterday went well. From now on, I have to go every two weeks, and our next appointment is on the 15th of April.
Baby's heartbeat was 145bpm, my utereus measured 30cm, my blood pressure was good, my ankles weren't swollen, and I gained another 6lbs this month which brings my total up to 23lbs.
Dr.Goldie felt around in my belly and said that she could feel the baby's head by my right ribs, the bum by my left hip, and the legs my by right hip. It was neat to visualize exactly where Baby was, as I'm always trying to guess which lump is what limb and how big Baby is right now.
I was also reassured that the fainting/dizzy spells are completley normal right now. I have to avoid becoming overheated, and I need to make sure I always have somewhere to sit or lie down in case I come very close to fainting again. She said to try to take cool showers, always have layers of clothes on so I can remove a few when I get too hot, avoid crowds, etc.
All in all, everything is going really well. And I can't believe the time has flown by so fast! We're almost there!
2008-03-31 (31 weeks)
Dear Baby (April)
For once in my life, I'm really not sure what to say. I've already written you about three letters and deleted them, nothing seeming appropriate.
You see, Baby, on Sunday I had a bit of a scare. It involved the shower, me seeing stars, losing my vision for a brief moment as the world spun around me, shaking uncontrollably, and being on the verge of fainting. If your Daddy hadn't been there to talk to me, to keep me calm, to hold me up and help me to the bed, I'm not really sure what would've happened. I do know that I don't want to think about it.
You're safe. I'm safe. That's all that matters.
From the very beginning of this pregnancy with you, I have been a nervous wreck. Paranoid that I was going to somehow lose you, because of nature or an accident or something beyond my control. And for the first five months, I literally would have to check and make sure I was never spotting or bleeding whenever I used the bathroom and I am so thankful that I never did. That I never found out what it would've been like to have you dissapear.
There is a lady that I know, who has had a very difficult pregnancy from the very beginning. The doctors even told her that she only had a 75% chance of survival, and it was a very scary time for everyone in her family and everyone who knew her. I went to visit her in the hospital, and when I stepped onto the floor where she was staying, my stomach sunk to my toes. I had never seen so many sick pregnant women in my life, and I had no idea a ward like that even existed. It made me so sad, Baby, to think that there are Mommy-to-Be's out there who are having so much trouble just trying to get to that point where they can finally meet eachother.
Ever since then, I think I've been a little bit more grateful and a lot more appreciative that you and I are doing great. I used to complain about how quick my doctor appointments were with Dr.Goldie, I wanted more attention to feel more secure about everything. But I've started to realize, Baby, that it's really something I should be relieved about. Not every pregnant woman gets to be "in and out" at the Doctors office, like us.
And yesterday, when I almost fell in the tub because I lost control of my body, I had never felt so helpless in my entire life. One minute, everything was fine. And the next, I was lying on my bed with absolutley no energy, shocked and scared. I cried, but only a little bit because it didn't seem fair for me to be shedding tears over what happened when much worse things happen to other pregnant ladies all the time. When there is an entire hospital ward of women, who may not even get to the point that you and I have reached, eight weeks left and counting.
Even though you were a surprise for us, Baby, I can't imagine our lives without you. Maybe that's why it was so hard to write your April letter.
How does one express how much we want to see you, so we can finally know what the little person that stole our hearts, looks like?
Love,
Mommy
2008-03-28 (30 weeks)
I Can't Wait for the First Day Of My Life
A couple of days ago, my Mom emailed me to remind me that I needed to update my blog. I couldn't, because I was simply just too busy. There were dogs that needed walking and bathing and feeding, a house that needed cleaning, invoicing that needed to be invoiced, dinner parties that needed attending, and a baby room to plan.
Now, I have a few moments to myself and I'm not really even sure what to write about. I have a lot of things on my mind, a lot of things I want to get down on paper, but I'm not really sure what to think or how to say it all. I've been overwhelmed lately with small tasks, like picking a paint color for the baby room, and even trying to decide what names I like. We started off with one, and now we have twenty-one written down on a white piece of paper that we've attached to our fridge.
So instead of trying to find the words that have been constantly following me around day after day, I've decided to just let you watch this. I think it sums up everything, pretty well.
2008-03-21 (29 weeks)
Break Me Off A Peice Of That....
I haven't really been craving anything 'particular' lately. Mostly, I just want to eat food. I found that through my entire pregnancy so far, I had periods of weeks where I wanted only a few of the same things, like strawberries or bacon, over and over again until my body and the baby refused to take it anymore and the craving would switch gears. It's been like this since the beginning.
First it was lemon juice, then it was anything spicy and hot, then it was mayo and ranch dressing, and now it seems to be chocolate. Kit Kat bars, to be exact. I love them. I cannot get enough of them. I'm trying to pace myself when it comes to eating them, as I know what it does to my hips and buttox, but I'm enjoying the constant cravings for them right now because it will probably be the one time in my life that I can actually get away with buying an entire stack of Kit Kat bars from the grocery store, and not have people judge me.
So this afternoon, while I laid down and attempted to have a little cat-nap, I wasn't surprised when I could think of nothing else but my very last chocolate bar waiting for me downstairs in the kitchen. The shiny red wrapper, the milk chocolate goodness, the crispy wafer center. It was almost too much to handle, and before I knew I was marching downstairs to consume every last crumb.
"You couldn't sleep?" Chad asked from the living room as he saw me descending the stairs.
"No, I want my Kit Kat bar." I replied.
"There's none left." he said suddenly, without missing a beat.
I paused momentairly in the hallway, my forehead wrinkling in confusion. None left? What was he talking about? I specifically remember seeing the last chocolate bar sitting in it's very special spot in the cupboard.
"Yes," I replied, continuing to walk into the kitchen. "There's one left."
"No, there's not. Do you want me to go out and get you one?" he replied, sounding slightly panicked. "I'll go right now if you want."
And as I opened the cupboard and peered into the dark depths of canned food and packages of sphagetti, I realized why my husband was suddenly so willing to put on his shoes and get in the car and drive out to get me a Kit Kat Bar. Because there, laying in the exact spot I had left it last night before I went to bed, was a partially opened shiny red wrapper with a half-eaten chocolate bar. My Kit Kat had been killed.
