Chad: So, Dr.Curtis, when can we expect the baby's head to drop?
Dr.Curtis: Oh, you'll know Anna. You'll feel a ton of pressure in your pelvic region suddenly, and you'll feel like you have to poop and pee all the time.
Me: Ohhh, grrrrrreaaat.
Chad: *laughing* Man, Dr.Curtis, I'm sure glad that it's the women and not us!
Dr. Curtis: *also laughing* Yeah, tell me about it.
Me: .....A HA HA HA HAAAA HA. Wow, that was SO funny.
2008-04-08 (32 weeks)
It's My Journal, and I'll Cry If I Want To
Alright. It has to be said. Today, I'm having a frustrating day. And it's not because I'm sore, or that my hip has been popping out of joint everytime I walk for two days, or even that my prenatal Massage Therapist has decided to go on vacation for two weeks and I can't get in to see him. And it's not because I'm getting larger and larger and extremley huge with each passing day, to the point where I stand in a mirror with an open jaw and wonder if this baby is going to be born naturally or just fall onto the floor when my stomach splits open at the navel.
It's because I'm annoyed. I'm annoyed and irritated and frustrated beyond belief, and there's absolutley nothing I can do about it except settle in and wait for it to pass.
You see, there are two weddings that Chad and I are supposed to attend this May. I've mentioned these two ladies in an earlier post, two beautiful and young and healthy women, each of whom have so much going for them. I'm very happy for them and their fiance's and hope that they all have wonderful futures together.
They've both told me that they want to have kids. And I would tell them, as they touched my stomach and talked to the baby inside, that was great. Some people love babies, and I think that's wonderful if they look forward to when they can have their own.
And then, I found out this afternoon, that they are BOTH going to see the doctor to ask if there's anything they can "take" to make sure that they get pregnant after the wedding. And I don't mean months or weeks later. I mean RIGHT AFTER, probably during the reception and dance.
I was appalled when I heard it. My jaw hit the floor and I tried to control my sudden reaction to FREAK OUT.
I am very, very, very aware that some women have that natural instinct and drive and motivation to have children right away; but in their cases, what about that newlywed stage? What about the honeymoon, or the house decorating, or the romantic candle-lit dinners? Isn't THAT important to have after one's married, instead of having your head in the toilet all day, puking your guts out? Having no energy to clean the house while your husbands at work?
I am also aware that the end result to pregnancy is something so beautiful and precious, and when I think about it I know that there's nothing I would've changed for Chad and I. I can't imagine our life without our little peanut, soon to arrive in this world. But at the same time, if we had the choice, we would've most certainly decided to wait a few years before even considering it. And if we knew how sick and prepared a couple needs to be before endeavoring on something like this, we would've *HAD* to wait years before trying. It makes me sad for these two women to see them so focused on one thing that they're forgetting about all the other little things, and I just really hope that everything works out for them the way they want it too.
I was asked today if I could "talk" to them. If I could explain to them what it's like to get pregnant so quickly after you're married, if I could make them understand how serious it is.
I sat for a moment, listening to everything, fingers laced under my chin, feeling my baby move and roll inside me. I swallowed, glanced down at the floor and took a deep breath.
"No." I said without hesitation. "As much as I would love to tell them both how important it is to wait before undertaking something like that, it's their marriage. It's their body. It's their life."
My pregnancy was hard. In fact, there have been many moments where I have wanted to smash pregnant over it's head, peel it's eyelids back and staple them to it's forehead. I HATE pregnant, and I don't do it well. I'm not going to lie about that fact, and why should I? It was not a great experience for me, and it continues to be extremley difficult with each month.
But even so, I LOVE what pregnant has given me. I LOVE every little moment and every little change of the tiny person that pregnant caused.
And even though I think honeymoon's are awesome and every newlywed couple should be able to have them; I could never talk a woman out of giving that up, for this.
2008-04-08 (32 weeks)
We Have Decided to 'Wing It'.
Ugh. Now that the weather is getting nice and warm, it's even harder for me to stay cool. My hands are on fire all the time, and it's practically impossible for me to make a meal in the kitchen without losing my breath and feeling like I'm suffocating from heat. I can't imagine how I will survive these next two months, so I'm just trying to take each hour as it comes and avoid fainting.
My parents are coming up on the 18th to paint and put down some new flooring in the baby room, so we're going to rip up the carpet this weekend and get it prepped and ready to go.
Our prenatal classes started last week, but Chad and I decided not to go. It's not that we didn't think they would probably be fun or that we couldn't learn anything; but I wasn't really gun-ho about the whole thing. It felt more like a chore to me, maybe because I had been hearing mixed things about taking the classes from everyone and the general response had been, "They're okay, but you don't need them."
We asked Dr.Goldie what she thought about the classes as we were having trouble making a final decision, and she basically just told us the same thing.
"You can read books and you'll be fine."
And as soon as she said that, I thought to myself about the past seven months and how I had no idea what we were walking into when we realized we were pregnant, but with the support of my family and friends and a lot of pregnancy books; I did fine. So I smiled and let Dr.Goldie take my blood pressure and shrugged to my husband and as soon as we were in the car and heading home I told him that I didn't think the classes were 'my thing'. I had nothing against sitting for two hours in a room with other pregnant women, being instructed on how to breathe properly or anything. It was just that I have never really been a 'planner' and I didn't really want to go into delivery with pre-concieved ideas or thoughts about how it was 'supposed' to go, and find myself in a panic when it didn't go the way the teachers said it should.
Not only that, but my husband is such a calming influence on me, and I'm fairly positive that no one could teach him how to keep me calm and comfortable better than he already does.
So in a few months, we're going to find out whether or not we should've taken the prenatal classes. When people ask me if I have a birthing plan, I have to just smile and tell them that I'm going to see how much it hurts when I start having contractions. If I can handle it, and everything goes smoothly, our goal is for a natural birth. And if it hurts too much, then I will most certainly be getting as many drugs possible injected into my body.
I sure as heck don't need a prenatal instructor or a book to help me figure that out.
2008-04-04 (31 weeks)
Let It All Hang Out
Well, as the hours towards our due-date pass, I seem to be getting larger and larger. One of my maternity books says in bold letters above a picture of a woman in her third trimester, staring at herself in a mirror, "When you near the end of your pregnancy you will become rather large and this may shock you."
And everytime I flip past those pages and see those words, I want to grab the book and dump it down the toilet, get in my car, drive to whomever wrote this book and proceed to suffocate them in all my large glory.
The sad truth of it is, I am shocked at how much my body has changed. I still have two months to go, and already I'm wondering how much more my body can stretch and morph and pull itself out of shape. I'm getting to the point where it's difficult to do anything, and I have started to have trouble judging the new distance from my belly button to objects around me like doors, countertops, and other people.
Getting around now is a lot harder as well. I have trouble breathing, it's difficult to get in and out of the car, and everytime I pick up one of my dogs for a cuddle it requires a lengthy process of huffing and puffing and proper positioning of legs, back and belly. And this is one stomach that I cannot suck in.
All in all, I'm really relieved that June is almost here. People told me I'd eventually feel this way, that near the end I would be just really anxious to get into that delivery room and push this baby out. I didn't really believe them, at least I couldn't see how I would actually want to go through all that pain.
But let me just say for the record, that once you get to a point where you reach for a glass in the cupboards above you and manage to knock over the jar of pasta sauce and the cheese grater which happens to be full of grated cheese for dinner, all with your large and growing larger stomach, you will be thinking in your mind that there is most certainly nothing that would stop you from bearing down and pushing all that baby out no matter how much it hurts or how loud it makes you scream.
Unless of course I actually DID run into the writer of that book I mentioned above, in which case I may be a little bit late.
