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I've started thinking about the nursery:
If only I had one here to think about... Ideally I would have the furniture and everything would be set up I would only be adding all the powders, lotions, and last bit of diapers. I wish I was prepared for Henry's arrival.
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I've been dreaming about you:
My dreams have been about mothering failure and Henry coming way too early. Atleast I know what my subconscious is afraid of.
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I used to love food! Now I avoid:
Honestly, I never feel like eating. However, my husband and one of the nurses are the only two people concerned with my lack of weight gain.
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I never thought pregnancy would make me:
so whinny and needy of my husband. I remember being an independent risktaker, now I just want to cry all the time and think I have nothing left to offer the world. I guess I never thought pregnancy would make me go into long boughts of depression or euphoric recall, strange.
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I can't wait to:
spend my first night with Henry. I know it will be sleepless but I want to be a mom, I am growing impatient.
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My hopes:
I hope I can keep up my resolve to have a drug-free labor.
I hope Henry finds a different position to kick me from, my ribs are becoming sore.
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My fears:
I am afraid I will never feel attractive or be fun again. It sounds so vain and selfish but I really want parts of the old Ashley back. I think I am getting cold feet.
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