I can't believe I'm not pregnant anymore!  It seemed to go on for so long and I was in so much pain... that  reflecting back, as I sit here comfortably, is just plain weird.

When Sage was born I looked at his head and thought to myself,

'No wonder I could hardly walk, had a constantly aching groin and was unable to get up from the couch by myself!  That big baby's head was in my pelvis!  I was carrying it around!'

I am surprised at how quickly my body has returned to 'normal' mobility.  I thought all the discomfort would slowly ebb away, the way it slowly built up...but no, all of a sudden I feel strong again, I can bend over and pick things up, I can sit on any surface and feel confortable, it's insane!

Tomorrow Sage is 2 weeks old!  And yes, it has gone fast.

In the past 2 weeks we have had easy days and we have hard days!  Sometimes he goes to sleep so easily and I feel so happy :)  Then other times he cries and cries and I don't know why... then I feel competely frustrated and burnt out.  I have to remind myself that he is the most precious, little person and I shouldn't be downcast when he just won't settle.  It is hard though.

There is just something about a baby's cry.  It cuts right through your thoughts, piercing your brain... and your calm. 

At the moment he is fast asleep.  He just had his bath and drifted off to sleep with ease.  My mum was over this morning.  And last night Sage screamed and screamed for a LONG time when we lay him in his cradle.  Not sure why.  He was feed and warm and clean... maybe he just didn't want to be in there?? Maybe he was just over tired?  Anyway... when Mum came over we told her all about it.  Sage was due for another nap and I dared her to try and get him to sleep.  Well...

She accepted the challenge.. went boldy into the bedroom and exited 10 minutes later with a soundly, sleeping, baby rocking in the cradle.  !!!!!  I'm not sure what she did exactly but I was watching through the open bedroom door and this is what I can ascertain:

1. She stayed with him, close to his face, until she was certain he was asleep.

2. She lay him on his side, swaddled tight.

3.  She moved slow and gently.

Ok... after she left, and he eventually woke up for his next feed, I thought I would attempt to recreate the scene.

I wrapped him tight, but not too tight.  Lay him on his side and proceeded to rock him gently with one hand on his chest.  I stayed there for 15 minutes and hey presto!  He slept for 2 hours.

Then after his bath, I took him in again.  Slowly and gently lay him down, looking at the clock.  I told myself I would stay for 20 minutes.  20 minutes is a long time.  And before, I would lay him down and rush out after 2 minutes, only to be dragged back in when he cried 2 minutes later... So I stayed for 15 minutes, talking to him gently when he stirred, and he fell asleep again!  Without fussing...

Hmmmmm....

This is great, for now... but the problem is, you never know when the tides are going to turn.  At any moment the crying could start and build and crescendo... for maybe hours.... you just never know.

But for now, at least, my baby is fast asleep and all feels good.  ;)

Ok, so this whole putting baby to sleep thing is tougher than I thought...

The hardest thing about it, and parenting so far (gosh, I have only been doing it for 11 days and here I am with my pearls of wisdom!!!), is all the conflicting schools of thought... on every topic... that you ultimately have to make your own decision on.

Before Sage came along I read alot about putting baby to sleep.  And found myself doing the opposite of what I previously decided I wanted to do by day 2! What the?

I didn't want to co-sleep, but after spending 2 nights with the most adorable little man nuzzled into me, I couldn't bare the thought of saying goodbye and spending the night in seperate beds.

Then I started to stress!!! I had previously read and agreed on the virtues of teaching baby to put themself to sleep - A book by Tracey Hogg, it seemed to make sense, and I liked the idea.  But trying to put it into practice on night 3 was hell!

Into our second hour of whimpers and cries, Caleb and I were tormented: 1. by the noise and 2. by the thought that such bad habits had already been ingrained in just 3 days!!!

At 1:30am we brought Sage back into our bed and all fell blissfully and promptly asleep.

It would be easy enough to just roll with the co-sleeping train... but alas, I have read the books written by those who are anti co-sleeping and so have it in my mind to schedule, to get bub sleeping by himself, putting himself to sleep...ARGH!!

All the different voices... and ultimately it is up to Caleb and I to choose... what pressure... what a privilege.

Ok - so...

I started tracking Sage's feeds and dirty nappies, his burps and which breast he feed from - he likes to eat every 2 to 2 1/2 hours, with the odd 3 hour break in there.  Then I started tracking his awake time and sleep time.

By tracking all of this, I have been able to determine what the next cry MIGHT be in regards to..

i.e CRY CRY, check list... he just ate, I changed his nappy, he has been awake for 20 minutes he must be getting tired.. I will attempt to swaddle him and lay him down.

Thanks Tracey Hogg... this tracking was her suggestion.  And it is going well.

Today I decided to go one step further, and implement 'going to bed by yourself when it is obviously nap time'.  The first attempt he grizzled on and off for a long time.  Each cry was met with a reassuring pat and I'm here baby, until he calmed down, then I left the room and we did it all over again, as many times as it took for him to fall asleep.  Alot, of times.

A word of advice.  Attempt this in daylight hours, starting it at night  time leaves you wide eyed and mental on the sofa, trust me, found that out the hard way.

Anyway.. the good news is... after continuously going through the motions today with the put baby down, reassure him when upset, then leave the room routine, the time it has taken him to fall asleep has continued to get shorter, with each nap.

I hate to type too soon, but this last lie down, I only had to go in 2 times and he has been silent for the duration of this blog entry... could it really be working???

Another sleep related thought... the other day I had the morbid realisation that I will never sleep for more than 2 1/2 or 3 hours in a row ever again.... ok, maybe not ever... but not for a long time anyway.

To all you pregnant ladies, happy sleeping, to all you mummys I am thinking of you in the wee hours of the morning...

Well, Caleb and I did our first week as parents.  The first few days were spent in darkened rooms, lying in beds, waking, sleeping and eating... feeding, burping, changing nappies and staring in adoration at the sweetest, little face on Earth.

As the week progressed I got more mobile, my swelling went down and I was able to walk around without feeling so tired.  Sage was sooo good for the first 5 days or so.  Waking first for four hourly feeds through the night and then three hourly feeds in later days.  He was content most of the time and we hardly heard his real cry.  He has a husky, little voice and will generally groan for a long time before a real cry sets in.

On day three and four he kept falling asleep on the breast, and I started getting paranoid he wasn't getting enough food.  But my WONDERFUL midwife Glenda called and we had the BEST talk, she encouraged me and suggested more skin to skin time.  Sage had been pretty much nude for DAYS and I had started to feel guilty that he and I should get some gear on... but she said it promotes breastfeeding, instinct and all that.  So that night we went to bed sans clothes again and Sage was and still is feeding like a champ!

He got weighed on day 6 and instead of simply regaining his birth weight he had gained it and an  additional 250 grams!!! Glenda had to double check the scales!!  So he is feeding well.  He has stepped his feeds up to every two and half to three hours.  Including during the night.

At first I was feeding him in bed, in the darkened room, lit by only the golden glow of the heater and night light, but I was too sleepy.  So last night I went out into the loungeroom and feed on the rocker. This worked MUCH better!  And I am managing to somewhat set and see a routine developing.

Unfortuantely Sage has had wind and a sore tummy for most of yesterday and today.  It has been kinda trying but it has also been a great opportunity for us to stop and assess our little man, listening to his cries, determining the cause.  I hate seeing him in pain.. and Caleb and I are both doing our best to bring up wind and soothe him.

We have had TOO MANY VISITORS!!! TOO, TOO MANY! And decided this week, for the next 5 days we will have none.  People are a bit insane.  They turn up at dinner time, stay through tea, call non-stop and just then I walked out of the shower to find someone had randomly turned up as they were in the area.. great 5pm, good timing NOT!  So I have just stuck a sign on the door, politely telling people no visitors.  Seesh.. give us a break.

Still, the phone continues to ring, and I am only answering it sometimes.  Check out the album for pics.

Well folks... it finally took place.

This will only be a quick update, but trust me, I have MANY things swirling round my head that I want to share and also just get out of my head!  I imagine I will be trying to process the whole experience for a LONG, LONG time so expect MANY entries on my Birth Story...

But for now, here are the facts.

It's a Boy!

Sage Randolf White  (Sage means Wise)

Born 10th June 2007 - 12:34pm

Labour lasted 15 1/2 hours.

Baby weighed 7 pounds 12 ounces

And measured 51 cm

Bub's head was 1.5 cm larger than the AVERAGE!!! 

Birth ended up being natural, thank you God!  But by no means easy.. thanks to that larger than average head, my smaller than average body and baby's propensity to turn from anterior to posterior position at will throughout the labour. I dilated to 10cm relatively easily, but it took 5 hours... YES, 5 HOURS to push that baby down and out!!!!!!!

I really didn't think I was going to get through it all but made it in the end, just on gas and air.  Though I laboured in the pool, he was born on land.  There was no episiotomy, but I got a small second degree tear that is at the moment really swollen and required stitches, I can hardly walk.

I will write again later, but for all of you waiting to give birth my advice is DO YOUR PELVIC FLOOR EXERCISES!  I am NOT kidding.  You are gonna need them.  Pushing out that baby is true LABOUR, the strength required is phenomenal... so spend your time strengthening those muscles.

And for all of you who have already had bubs, WOW - how amazing and crazy was that?!?!?