getting a catheter without pain meds is so much fun...

thats all for today.

yay! today was my last nst. thank god! i really liked my nurse, nancy, but hated going to the hospital twice a week for that shit. baby ava was a little active today and decided to give the run around for her last test. my appt. was supposed to start at 3, and i got there at 2:45 and they didnt even take me back until 3:30...so, yea, im glad its over.

only 2 more FULL days. cant wait. getting excited and nervous. got mya a baby doll tonight for ava to give to her at the hospital. i hope she likes it.

i guess thats about it for now. just playing the waiting game...

im itchy like crazy right now. tried to go to bed at 3:30am...been tossing and turning ever since...its now 5:30am. this sucks! i should prolly shower, but i have to be up in less than 4 hours anyway, so i see no point in doing that now unless i want to start my day early...and since yesterday still hasnt ended for me, that doesnt sound appealing. its driving me CRAZY!

only 4 days of this shit left to deal with. its gonna be a LONG ass 4 days im sure. i am SO overbaked. sunday passed the 11 days early mya was...evidently this one wants to be a biggun. yay.

it seems that this final week of pregnancy will be one big bitch fest for me...

there is so much to do and so little time and/or help. i feel overwhelmed. i feel like my husband (who has made such a wonderful effort lately) should be up finishing last minute projects to help me get ready. i am sitting here, exhausted, looking around me at the DUMP this place is and trying to figure out how i will manage to muster up the energy to get it picked up. so far today i have hung curtains and cleaned the rug. thats it...and that has made me T I R E D. i still have a light fixture to hang, closet doors to get back on track, a curtain rod and curtians to hang and feefs bedroom rug to clean--along with assloads of laundry. the family room is trashed beyond belief. the cat knocked the paper shredder over and there is shredded paper all over the carpet, marks coin shit scattered amongst myas disorganized toys and dishes and pop bottles galore. why is it up to me to get it all picked up? the lawn needs to be mowed, but i just cant see myself mowing the lawn in 85+ degree weather when im 9.5 months pregnant. why should i have to?

mark got home at like 1:30am and i specifically asked him NOT to stay up all night so he wouldnt need to sleep all day. i went to be somewhere just before 3am, and when i got up numerous times during the night to pee, he was up and each time i hinted to him that he needed to go to bed...i think he finally crashed out somewhere after 7am. why? what the hell was he doing that was so much more important than helping me, that he felt the need to stay up and sleep all day? it pisses me off to no end. is this the wall that i have been expecting to hit all these (good) weeks? its been there, lingering, in the back of my mind, that things would go back to how they used to be...and today is the first hint that its possible. i keep thinking that i knew it was too good to be true. maybe am jumping the gun, but i feel really pissed that he doesnt seem to think that he should have to help pull this house together--this is our last chance. i DO NOT want to go to the hospital  to have the baby and come home to a goddamned mess.

i donno. i wish i could just snap my fingers or wiggle my nose like a genie and have it all ZAP up! but, that is wishful thinking...along with the idea that my water will break before friday...