Two weeks from today we will be able to see this little one's heartbeat via ultrasound!!  I'm just too ecstatic!  I bought the first boy outfit EVER yesterday and put it away for use by ourselves or to use as a baby gift if the Lord never brings a son into our lives.  The thought of a son sort of scares me....I don't know if I would know how to deal with hyper little boys (I can hear the sounds of VROOOOM, VROOOOOM now).  I think it would be awesome to have one, though, so Jason can feel like the females don't outnumber him and maybe he'll have a hunting buddy one day!  I was raised in a family of 4 females and 1 male, so I'm quite comfortable with girlie things.

So, keep the prayers coming for this little life developing.  I read to today that the skin is developing and the brain is developing right now.  I plan to ask the doctor about the straining pains I feel in my stomach when I cough or sneeze and sometimes when I turn over at night.  Sort of feels like a muscle strain; maybe it's due to the baby growing and stretching.  I just have horrible thoughts of coughing or sneezing too big and the fetus coming loose from the uterine lining.  I know---as Jason says--I always assume the worst.  Lord, calm my nervous spirit.

October the 4th---that's the day we're waiting for to be able to SEE something is happening inside.  I keep saying I wish I felt worse b/c then at least I'd know there is something alive in there.  Maybe the Lord is just blessing me with another easy pregnancy like with Emma Grace.  I have to make it a regular habit (like at least once an hour!) to remind myself that the Lord is in control, and He won't give us more than He knows we can  handle.  This little life is completely in His hands!  Like I told the surgeon when I was having my wisdom teeth taken out (and was all doped up), "The Lord takes care of the birds of the field and the lilies of the air, surely He will take care of me." (of course I know that was backward, but what can you expect when nitrous oxide pours through your veins?!) 

Well, I guess we will just wait and see....there's nothing I can do except ask everyone we know to PRAY for us...and yes, I know that my prayers don't change God's answer, but prayers change US.  I guess now I wish that we hadn't found out we were pregnant until about week 7 so that we'd only have 1 week to WAIT.  It's going to KILL ME!!

I have held this news for a whole week now, and there are more and more signs becoming visible that it will be difficult not to clue in my mom this weekend when she comes to visit.  I am oh so tired in the afternoons and evenings now.  I have to have a mid-morning snack around 9am and I'm starved again after lunch around 5pm before dinner is cooked.  The smell of dirty dishwater upon entering the cafeteria at school is enough to make me sick.  I'm still cooking foods and meat fine right now and actually not craving Caffeine free Pepsi this time.  I'm just so fearful that something might happen and that if we do tell people, we will have the 100 questions we had the last time we miscarried.  I'm trusting that God is my refuge and strength, a very present help in times of trouble.  He has a plan for our family and knows who the next child will be, and if there is to be a next child.  I think we will share this weekend just with mom and Becky and Hennies and then the rest of my family when we go to TN in 2 weeks.  I'M SO EXCITED to tell!!!!!

Well, after taking a pregnancy test on Jason's birthday Friday and finding it to be negative, I contemplated taking another one this morning and wasting more money, however, my suspicion and curiosity got the best of me!!  I took one at 5:10am after waking up having to pee badly and, although the result window was faint, it was a faint positive!!  I waited until I took a shower and got makeup on and it was 5:50 to wake Jason up to tell him.  I was ecstatic and at the same time scared of what might go wrong "this time".  Having had a miscarriage in March, I never know how my body will behave now.  It's all in God's hands, and I have to have complete faith that the Lord can bring this little life to full birth! 

Wow, so there are MANY things to think about now!!  I see that according to my last cycle, I should be 4 weeks today and my due date should be Monday, May 19, 2008.  That's very close to Mother's Day and happens to fall right smack dab in the middle of PACT testing!  I'm not complaining, though, I just want a healthy, full-term baby.  My first doctor's appt. is Thursday, Oct. 4th at 2:30 and I will feel much better at that point.  Right now I feel great as far as any symptoms go.  Not really even tired, but that might be yet to come.  I'll add more as I know more...