Work has been a nightmare. This two job thing is killing me. Hopefully, I won't have but maybe another month to deal with it, though. Meanwhile, I'm thinking of calling my doctor and asking him to sign me out of my FT job for a few days.

Crazy Bossman is up to his old antics, threatening to do away with flexible hours for the whole group because a few people aren't being honest about their time. Once again, everyone left the staff meeting ticked off. The stress has been getting so bad that I feel like my face is peeling off my head and I'm getting nosebleeds.

Fortunately, I should be getting an FT offer from the PT place in less than 2 weeks. Then I can march up to the elf and hand over my resignation.  And I can stop keeping such late hours and actually get a full night's sleep.

I decided to take Monday off to use up some of the personal holidays that I won't get paid for when I leave work. I'm going to use that day to pre-pay for the hospital maternity inpatient fee and maybe do a little shopping. I'd like to get a nice portrait done of me while I'm prego to give to Alex for gak day. I'm just not sure if I have anything really suitable to wear. Maybe I'll try to find a nice dress this weekend too.

It's 4:00 AM, and I've given up on trying to fall back to sleep. It's starting to become a weekend routine - wake up at 4:00, toss and turn, get up, pee, go back to bed, toss and turn, finally fall asleep around 6:00, wake up really tired a few hours later. Yawn!

This time, I thought I'd just get up. I was hot, sweaty, and thirsty, and Alex was snoring, plus, my nasal passages were too clogged. So now I'm reclined on the couch, feeling Baby thump around. I wonder what she's doing. If the movement I feel is her rolling over, trying to stretch an arm or leg, or all of the above. Whatever else she's doing, she makes me smile.

My doctor appointment went well yesterday, although I was disappointed in my weight. I knew it would happen before the month was out - I broke the 200 lb. mark. Yikes! I expect that by the time the baby is born, I will have gained about 45 pounds. I'll definitely have to do something soon after she arrives! At least I know it's possible. A few years ago, I lost 32 pounds and kept it off, and with the Good Lord's help, I'm sure I can do it again.

I'm still debating on whether I'm going to sue my current workplace. Part of me thinks I should, if for no other reason than to compensate for some of the lost wages I'll have to deal with when I go on maternity leave. Then again, I'm really afraid of the possible retaliatory actions against Alex. It might not happen right away, but they might mark him later on for the next "rif" (reduction in force). I just don't know. My friend said that if the company gets sued, my manager can be held personally liable. Hmmmm. That would be VERY interesting! Again, I'll have to put this one in God's hands and pray for guidance.

It's hard to believe there is just over 10 weeks left before my due date! It's been a long road, but a pretty easy one thus far. The biggest obstacle I've had to deal with has been my own worry. I still get a little sad from time to time over what could have been, but I'm grateful for what is. The whole experience has really opened my eyes and given me perspective. And it's only the beginning.

It's been a really busy birthday week! As is traditional for "Laurakah," my birthday celebrations lasted multiple days. The big difference this year was I had a little mooch honing in on my birthday gifts!

Yes, I think the baby got more than I did this year! Clothes, blankets, scrapbooks... all for Baby! That's ok, though. I got my share of presents just for me, and really couldn't think of much that I wanted anyway! My neighbors left me a gift with a card that said "we know it's your birthday, but the baby gets the gift - that's life!" It made me smile.

I was in the Respect Life processional at my church on Sunday, too. There was a representative from each year since Roe vs. Wade in 1973. Each rep processed down the aisle and laid a rose on the alter. I, of course, got to be the last in the processional, representing 2006. Next year, I'll have an infant to carry along with my rose.

On the job front, I had two REALLY good days at the new company. I really loved the work and was able to produce a few things right away. I told my friend that I'm ready to move to FT status whenever her boss was ready. Hopefully, we'll be able to advance in a month or less. I can't wait!

It's been an interesting week. The third trimester has slammed into me like a runaway train, and I can feel the fatigue returning. Not only are my insides squished up, making breathing a little more difficult, but this cold has all my passageways clogged as well.

I found out (or rather, Alex found out) that when you mix pregnancy with congestion, you get BIG FAT LOUD SNORES! Ha! Alex had me laughing this morning when he described how my loud snoring woke him up, and that last night when I fell asleep on the couch, he had to keep turning the TV volume up because he couldn't hear it over my snoring. Hee! Hee! I told him it was like he was living my life and we seemed to be having a bit of a roll reversal going on.

Honestly, I never expected to have such a problem. I've never EVER snored, even when I've been sick. Oh well! For some reason, it strikes me as very funny. Even now, I chuckle when I imagine Alex trying just about everything to get me to stop. He also told me that I've started mumbling in my sleep as well. I woke him up the other night by loudly muttering "uh-uh!" What?!?

In other news, I've started training via phone with my friend's company this week. The home office is all set for now. I'll have a few weeks to "test drive" it and make any modifications before I ask, or am approached about, a full-time position. It can't come too soon. I really don't like the person I am when I'm at my full-time job!

The absurdity and immaturity that saturates that place has really worn me down and made me a bitter, evil, and jaded person. I'm ashamed of how often I fail to be the Christian I need and want to be when I'm there. And the more my eyes are opened to the opportunity I could have, the less tolerance I have for the harassment and micro-management I'm still saddled with.

Perhaps the whole point of such a trying workplace is to point me in the right direction for this telecommuting opportunity. Maybe it's to assure me that I'm making the right decision, even with a large pay cut.

I decided that my current workplace can't FORCE me to save my personal holidays for maternity leave. They are given to me at the beginning of the year, do not accrue, and I won't get paid for them if I leave the company without using them. Sooooo... I arranged to take two personal holidays on Tuesday and Wednesday next week.

During those two days, I'll take my laptop to the place where I'm doing the PT work and that way, I can be brought up to speed faster, I'll show initiative and that I take the job seriously, and I'll (hopefully) prove that I'm not interested in the job just for the sake of working from home. As an added bonus, I'll have all my hours from that week done in just 2 days. Hooray!

As exciting as this opportunity is, I'm still pretty nervous. I mean, yeah, it's great to be able to work from home and not have to do daycare, but I have my doubts about being able to handle infant care while simultaneously trying to get my work done. Then there's the financial end of it. I'll be taking a pay cut, and, if I go full-time before the baby is born, my maternity leave will most likely be unpaid. Add to that the normal fears and uncertainties that come with trying to learn a new job, and suddenly I'm a nervous wreck!

I try not to think about it all at once so that I'm not constantly overwhelmed. I'm thinking that if I'm offered a FT deal soon (Lord, I hope so!), I'll ask for 8 weeks maternity leave. If none of that time will be paid, I'll see if I can get 4 wees unpaid, with the option of 4 weeks PT work. There's really nothing to indicate that things won't work out. It's quite the opposite in fact. My friend sort of hinted that I might be able to make it FT status around the end of February or sometime in March. Again, I guess there's nothing I can do but try my best with this PT stuff and hope for an FT offer sooner than later.