Well for the past few weeks my hormones have really been getting the best of me. Noel has been talking to one of his "girl" friends alot lately and has been hanging out with her sometimes too. So of course the first thing that crosses my mind, is that he's cheating on me. Because I feel fat and gross right now and we don't have sex that much, I was thinking that he rather be with another girl. I also saw pictures of him and her that just made my head spin! I was snooping on this phone bill online to see how much he texts her. But let me just say, that's not me! I usually trust him! But like I said... the hormones! Well I check his phone and see no texts to or from her, so I freak out! I ask him why he deletes the texts if he has nothing to hide. And he keep giving me the same answers... that nothings going on, they're just friends, yes he does flirt and he just doesn't want me reading his texts because he knows i've been snooping. Well this has really been bothering me. I cry and cry and pray that God gives me a sign to tell me if he is or isn't cheating. I ask all these girls that know him, if he is known as a cheater or player. They all tell me no, but I didn't believe them. Well today I wasn't even thinking about him and her and all of a sudden this thought popped into my head.... they are just friends, yeah he flirts with her alot, but that's just the kind of friendship they have and i'm just going to have to accept that. He says things, but he's not planning on acting on them. I understand now, because I've had friendships like that.  You say the words but don't do what you say. I told him all this and I told him that if something were to happen with ANY girl, I trust him to tell me and/or break up with me, like he told me from the beginning that he would do. It just bothers me that they have to talk like EVERYDAY! I feel like i'm back in highschool, but this is what my hormones did to me! It's no fun being pregnant anymore. I cry, I stress, i'm anxious, I hurt... *Sigh* 5 more weeks! I just got to keep thinking that it's worth all this pain and suffering, because in the end i'll be holding my baby boy.

Oh! I started to bleed yesterday. I was "taking care of my needs", and when I was done, there was a little bit of blood. Of course I called the doc right away. She reassured me that I didn't hurt the baby or my pregnancy, that things like this do happen. It's not uncommon because it's irritation on your cervix. He's kicking and moving around so i'm not worried anymore. But it was scary at first, thinking that I went this far with no problems and all of a sudden something like that happens....