Last night, I got a phone call from one of my very best friends. She announced her engagement and then asked  me to be her Matron of Honor!! I knew I was going be one of her bridesmaids (she hinted about it a few weeks ago, before the proposal took place), but I had no idea she wanted me to be the Matron of Honor. I'm so thrilled and very honored!

I'm also very nervous, because as of right now, she wants to have the wedding next spring (May - June timeframe), which will only give me a few months to get back into really good shape!! I know I shouldn't worry about something so superficial, but its really important to me to look my best!! The last time she (and our circle of friends) saw me was at our high school reunion last summer. I was at my goal weight after 60 lbs lost and felt great! I would love to be the same weight (or awfully close!!) by the time she walks down the aisle. 

The funniest thing though, was the way she asked me. She said "Even if you happen to be heavily pregnant on my wedding day, I want you to be my Matron of Honor!"  If only she knew!! It took everything in my being not to tell her right then. Later, she asked me if we were trying and I said in a depressed and frustrated manner that we were. She consoled me and said that it would happen when its meant to happen. I felt bad fibbing to her, but I'm sure she'll understand when I reveal the news in a few weeks.

You know, after losing all that weight and keeping it off for 2 years, its hard for me to get used to gaining weight! I know its for a good cause, but its hard not to get upset when I see a higher number on the scale. Plus, its becoming increasingly difficult to fit in my smallest slacks and jeans, which is very nerve-racking. I've had to resort to a black skirt in place of size 10 black slacks as well as pull out an old pair of size 12 (eek!) jeans to replace one of my favorite pair of size 10 jeans. The 12's were big everywhere, especially in the crotch and butt, so I feel like I'm in between sizes at the moment (reminds me of my weightloss days!!). The 10's still button up, but my belly hangs over them now and looks really unattractive with the fitted shirts I wear. Oh well, at least I can be thankful that my shirts are still fitting quite nicely!

In other news, Im getting nervous for my 2nd prenatal exam next Tuesday. My husband will be going with me this time around. Hopefully, I'll have good news to report and a new photo to post!

Symptoms:

breast tenderness (especially when pressure is put on them), increased nausea (still no vomiting, though, I've come close every time I brush my teeth), fibrous twinges in abdomen (feels like Im expanding), bump under my navel is more pronounced, cravings (mainly for fast food and cookies - yikes!!),  sleeping difficulties, scatterbrained, extreme fatigue, nails long and strong (usually break off at this length!), frequent urination, smaller appetite, crazy dreams

Total Weight Gained: 5 lbs    

What a wonderful weekend I had, which was a nice change from the crappy week I had. I felt fat, fatigued, depressed, nauseous, crabby, and just plain miserable the entire week!  

Saturday, my little sister turned 27 and was granted the power to spend the day however she wished. We ate homemade cinnamon buns for breakfast, opened gifts and ate ice cream cake for lunch, and enjoyed a marvelous 15 layer lasagna dinner at Spaghetti Warehouse.

Sunday, I slept in and didnt get out of bed until 9am. So very nice! I felt quite good when I woke up - thin, pretty, and not nauseous!! The first thing I did was open gifts and cards for Mother's Day. The cards were so sweet and made me cry like a baby. Then the thoughtfulness behind the gifts made me weepy as well! I got a body pillow and some lavender-vanilla aromatherapy supplies to help me sleep better at night.  

Afterwards, my husband treated me to a nice breakfast out. I ate way too much and was full until dinner time! Around lunch time, the three of us packed up the car with our dog and my sister's dog and headed for the Chattahoochee Nature Center. We hiked down to the creek and let the dogs play in the cool crisp water. It was so much fun watching them play!

After we got back, we relaxed for a bit  and watched the Braves lose horribly to the Pirates. I also snuck in some much needed reading of my pregnancy book!

Dinner time rolled around and I suggested my favorite BBQ place, Swallow at the Hollow. We figured that not many people would be there, since it didnt seem to fit the "Mother's Day" standard. Boy, were we wrong. That place was packed. Fortunately, we only had to wait 15 minutes (even though they said it was a 45 minute wait). Anyway, I ordered my usual (half rack baby back ribs, mac & cheese, fries, and biscuit) with my mind set on taking half of it home to enjoy later. Well, I ate most of it and only ended up taking home half of the ribs and the biscuit. Oh well, at least I didnt feel overstuffed!

I ended Mother's Day with a walk with the dogs and my sister. I was relaxed afterwards and had a great nights sleep with my new pillow! 

Symptoms:

tender breasts, fatigue, nausea (still no vomiting), scatterbrained,  moody  (cried a lot of happy tears yesterday and feel really depressed today!), increased fingernail growth, backaches, achy knees, facial skin acting up (dry and pimples), vivid dreams, and my sister thinks she saw a "pregnancy glow" Saturday morning - she said it added to my natural beauty!

Total Weight Gained: 5 lbs

Man, I've had quite a few opportunities arise regarding my little secret. For starters, on Friday, I decided to begin my long weekend early by leaving work a little early. As I requested my leave, my boss whispered "Are you feeling ok?" This was a normal question, except for the weird gesture that he used to accompany it. He basically made a "big belly" gesture with both of his hands! Does he know? 

My husband said that maybe he (or a gabby co-worker who spread the news to him) caught a glimpse of this diary or some other pregnancy-related webpage. Im usually very careful on what I view at work, but I guess thats  possible. However, my sister said that some people "just know", sometimes even before the woman herself knows! She has a good point, especially since he has quite a few children and grandchildren. So, he just may be a pro at noticing early pregnancy! At any rate, I just acted bewildered and said that I was fine and just wanted to jumpstart my long weekend a little early.

Saturday, one of my best friend's emailed me to announce that she will become an aunt right around my birthday (11/7)!! I immediately wanted to tell her about my big news. Instead, I kept it to myself and congratulated her. Boy, was that difficult!

This morning, I found out I was invited to two separate events on the same day. First off, my husband's good friend invited us to their daughter's (born Dec 30 last year). And later that same day, I am supposed to attend a "Girls Night Out" hosted by a good friend of mine. Im sure I'll be a sporting a not-so- little bump by then (June 1), so Im already stressing out. What am I going to wear to both events (gotta hide my tummy in an not-so-obvious way) AND what am I going to say/do if someone offers me a drink (especially when Im hanging out with the girls)? They will know something is up! 

Then my health-conscious dad announced recently that he wants to visit us soon! What am I going to say if he asks about my flabby tummy? It will most likely be too early to tell him the truth!

I know one thing is for sure: this will be so much easier once the news is out. I cant wait to tell everyone - it's starting to eat away at my conscience!!

In other news, I'm doing ok. I ate much better this weekend. I didn't have any wild and crazy cravings, so that helped! My weight is holding steady, which makes me very happy. Exercise is going well too,  though I tend to be really worn out when Im finished. Sleep is going well, except on my commutes to and from work. I think my tummy is starting to get a little sensitive to the stop-and-go traffic, so its hard for me to relax enough to drift off. This morning, I've  been feeling extremely nauseous, but still havent vomited. I tend to feel a little better after I burp a few times. Ive become quite a pro at burping quietly at work. However, the loud ones seem to work a lot better - at least I can do those at home with no worries, LOL!

Symptoms:

full and heavy tender breasts (though not as tender as previous weeks), fatigue, gas pains, burping frequently, increased nausea (no vomiting), upset stomach, always thirsty, weird parenting dreams, dizzy spells, bloated, lower back pain, fingernails growing faster, moody (crying, angry, sad, frustrated, extremely happy), distracted, forgetfulness, sensitive sense of smell, cravings (BBQ ribs, red meat, carbs, Starbucks new Dulce de Leche coffee), adversion to pickles and greasy food scents.

Total Weight Gained: 4 lbs

This week, I've noticed that my favorite jeans and slacks are feeling snug. I can still get them zipped/buttoned up, but they aren't as comfy under my navel. Sometimes, to relieve the pressure, I unbutton the top button! Oh well, at least its assuring me that my little lamb is growing big and strong!

Also this week, the slight twinges of pain (like muscle fibers being stretched to their limits) have returned. They usually take place after I take big steps (trying to catch up with my dog on our walks), turning too far or suddenly at the waist, or when I sneeze/cough/laugh too hard. As soon as they happen, I wonder if they affect my tiny baby in any way.

Cravings have been strong this week. Im good during the day, but I have indulged on them at dinner time. Granted, it has been extremely busy after work this week, but I shouldnt always use these opportunities to answer my insane cravings. On Tuesday, for the first time in years, I had a meatball sub from Subway. In the past, I ate a footlong in one sitting, but thankfully, I was satisfied with the six incher. However, I undid my good behavior with a small ice cream cone from Brusters! Wednesday, I gave in to the craving for a Homewrecker burrito from Moe's, queso, and chips. At least I got an hour long walk in afterwards! LOL!

Symptoms:

breast tenderness, extreme fatigue, get out of breath easier, cravings galore (carbs and dairy), bizzare dreams, mood swings (cried a lot yesterday!), stronger waves of nausea (no vomiting), slight dizziness, lower back pain, contant thirst, lower belly distended more than a week ago. 

Total Weight Gained:  5 lbs